Predator Jokes

If an illegal immigrant fights against a child molester, would that be "Alien vs Predator"?

What does a turtle and a pedophile have in common? They both want to get there before the hare does.

What do you call it when a Mexican and a pedophile fight?

Alien vs Predator.

What is a pedophile's favourite dating site? Kinder

How many times can 50 fit into 9?

Get in a van and find out.

A lion, Johnny Depp, and a hockey player from Nashville all have one thing in common.

They're all Predators!

A shark can swim faster than me, but I can run faster than a shark.

So in a triathlon, it would all come down to whoever can ride a bike the fastest.

A fish was swimming around in a pond when he noticed a fly flyin around about six inches above the water. He thought, “if that fly drops six inches, I could have myself a nice meal.”

There was a bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, “if that fly drops six inches, that fish will come up for that fly, and I can catch that fish and have myself a nice meal.”

There was a hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, “if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will go for the fish, and I can shoot the bear and have myself a nice meal.”

There was a mouse watching the hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, “if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, drop his sandwich and I can have myself a nice meal.”

There was a cat in a tree watching the mouse watching the hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, “if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, drop his sandwich, the mouse will go for the sandwich, and I can catch that mouse and have myself a nice meal.”

Then it all happened

The fly dropped six inches

The fish came up and caught the fly

The bear came out and caught the fish

The hunter got up to shoot the bear and dropped his sandwich

The mouse went for the sandwich

The cat jumped from the tree, missed, and landed in the pond

The lesson that can be learned here is that every time a fly drops six inches, a pussy gets wet.

what does Michael Jackson and a lion have in common?

they're both predators

A cow went into a pride of lion’s territory?

Since that moment he knew his life was on stake

Why did the lion lose the race-because he was playing with a cheetah

What do you getting you cross bill cosby and Jeffrey Epstein? Predator 2

A fully grown bull Great White Shark is 15 feet long and can open its jaws open up to 1.2 meters long. It could eat a small child in seconds. Anyways, I lost my job at the aquarium...