Violence jokes
What is the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?
A mosquito stops sucking after you f*cking slap it.
Two hunters are in the woods and one falls to the ground.
Terrified, he dials 911 and says, “Help! I think my friend is dying. What do I do?” The nurse says, “I need you to make sure he’s dead.” The hunter replies, “Ok, I’ll be right back.” The nurse is startled after hearing a gunshot. The hunter comes back and says, “I checked. Now what do I do?” The nurse replies, “I need you to make sure his heart has completely stopped.” She is startled when she hears the sound of a taser. The hunter comes back and says, “What’s next?” The nurse replies, “I need you to make sure his brain has completely shut down.” The nurse is once again startled when she hears the sound of a bone being crushed by what seemed to be a hammer. The hunter comes back and asks, “Anything else?” The nurse says, “Nope. That’s it.”
On my signal, I would like you to drive onto the pavement (sidewalk) and run over my ex-wife.
What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One smashes open when you hit it with a sledgehammer, and the other is a watermelon.
It's impossible to rape a rapeist because rapeists want sex.
When she says she wrestles, so you pull out your dick and she punches it.
What's the difference between a cop and a bullet?
When a bullet kills someone, it gets fired.
How come when women decide to kill their unborn baby it's a "choice"? But when I decide to drive my car into a playground full of children it's called "murder."
What's bright red and screams when you shake it? A skinned baby in a bag of salt.
Rape is such an ugly word, I prefer the term "struggle snuggle."
What's red and white and goes 250 miles per hour?
A baby in a blender ;)
I knew this one guy who liked to swim with the fishes, then the mob got a hold of 'em...
When you steal the weird pet rock, so he pulls out his pet Glock.
What's the difference between a pile of dead bodies and a computer?
I don't know, I have both!
How do you start a school shooting at a black school?
Call the cops.
I stopped a terrorist from killing 100 people on a plane using self-control.
Kid: "THERE'S A SHOOTER IN THE BUILDING!"
Shooter: "Oops."
What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gang rape.
I found a rock at the park. I threw it at some orphans.
What would they do? Go to their family?
If you're bored, punch an orphan, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?