Violence jokes
+1 like = 1 kid in my basement.
+1 follower = 1 kid in my Microwave.
+1 Comet.
I walked into a supermarket to get some ordinary clothes for the wife. Then I realized I was in a rape museum.
So, if Russia was the motherland and Germany was the fatherland, what does that mean?
The Western Front is domestic violence.
When the person who killed JFK heard "headshot."
What is the difference between a broom and a mop?
It’s hard to beat my girlfriend when she’s holding the mop.
What do you call an autistic kid in a school shooting?
Target practice.
If I ever find the doctor who screwed up my limb replacement surgery... I’ll kill him with my bear hands.
What do babies and explosives have in common?
They both make a noise when you throw them.
A suicide bomber's biggest fear is not exploding.
My mom said if I'm awake playing Roblox still, she said she was going to bang my head against the keyboard. hxhdhduhxbsfj.
"Suicide bomber kills 44 people in Pakistan mosque." Damn, that's a crazy K/D. He must be hacking.
Ooohhh look, an orphan! Let's go beat him up.
My teacher got so mad at me for making 9/11 jokes, she hit me twice and I said, "Damn, got hit twice!"
How to make white ice cream red... blend a baby into it!
Why did the school shooter earn extra points?
Because he was on a kill streak.
Clap em sis!
Suicide really isn't something to joke about, unless it's hanging yourself.
It's a really quicker way to die, and less blood spilled for your mother to clean up.
What a school shooter's favorite song?
"Pumped Up Kicks."
What's red all over and spins at 100 mps?
Baby in a blender.
So, as a school shooter, I try to remember my ABC's. A, B, C, D, E, F, GUN!
And I basically stop at G, since no students ever speak to me about the rest.