Violence jokes
There's this smart way to sneak a calculator into school. I've heard of it. You take the calculator, put it in a gun magazine, put the magazine in the gun, and bring the gun to school!
How does a non-binary ninja kill someone?
They slash them.
My therapist told me time heals all wounds, so I stabbed him.
Then I waited for the results.
If I were to cut your legs off, would it hurt? Because your legs will be cut off...
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
An RC-XD.
when my imaginary mom tells me to calm down
When the school shooter enters the classroom and it's the quiet kid's dad.
What's worse than ten babies stapled to a tree?
A baby stapled to ten trees.
Jace: Haha, I won, dude. You suck at Monopoly!
Timmy: Let's play another game. *GUNSHOT* I guess I won!
Jace: *SCREAMS IN PAIN*
Timmy: What? I thought we were playing Chutes and Ladders!
I had a boyfriend once. He broke up with me because he "wanted to be more alive." I guess it didn't work when he went to my basement.
What's red all over and spins at 100 mps?
Baby in a blender.
A suicide bomber's biggest fear is not exploding.
What do Israel and Epstein have in common?
"Look at that, time to blow up some kids."
Why do black people have nightmares? Because the last person who had a dream got shot.
What do you call a terrorist attack in Iraq? A selfie!
When you're in the middle of a test and you hear gun shots.
What do you call a suicide bomber in a wheelchair?
An RC-XD.
What is the best thing about being back?
Free bullets.
What are the similarities of GTA V and 9/11? A plane can be stolen and crashed into a building by a bunch of terrorists.
What do babies and explosives have in common?
They both make a noise when you throw them.
I was walking down the street one day, and I passed the gun store. I walked in, and everything was half off. I didn't know back-to-school sales had started already!