Santa jokes
So a girl goes to Santa in the mall, and Santa asks what she would like for Christmas. So the kid says: “a little sister”. So then Santa says: “bring me your mother!”
Why was Santa Santa?
Because it was Santa! Hahahaha 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Who is Santa's favorite singer?
Elf-is Presley!
I was trying to poison Santa, but he killed my dad and ate all the cookies! 😤
Santa was asked to describe Mrs. Claus in three words. His response was, "Ho ho ho."
My daughter has been writing letters asking Satan for gifts. Imagine my shock when I realized she has dyslexia.
Roses are red. He shows no remorse.
Santa Claus Has joined the terrorist force.
Why does Santa come down the chimney? Because he knows he isn't allowed to come in the back door.
What happens if you play with Santa’s ball? You get a white Christmas.
One man was very depressed because he lost everything. He lost his job. He lost his home, and he lost his wife. So he went lonely into the forest to grieve.
Suddenly, with his head raised up, he sees Santa Claus walking by. "Santa?" he asks. "Why are you early? It is not even Christmas?"
"Ho, ho. Don't worry about me. Let's worry about you instead," says Santa. "What is the problem, my friend?"
"I lost everything good in my life. I got fired from my job. My wife divorced me. I lost my house."
Santa: "I can help you. You can wish three things you want in life, and I'll give it to you."
Man: "My first wish is I want my house back."
Santa: "Done!"
Man: "My second wish is I want 1 million in cash in my bank account."
Santa: "Done!"
Man: "My third wish is I also want my job back!"
Santa: "Done, but before I actually give you those wishes, I have to hump you."
Man: "Okay. Let's do it."
So Santa Claus takes off his pants to hump the man.
After they are done humping, Santa asks the man: "How old are you?"
Man: "I am 35 years old."
Santa: "And still believe in Santa Claus??!! HOHOHOHO!!!"
What did Santa say when he saw a pretty girl? HO, HO, HO!
My friend Jimmy said his dad is exactly like Santa. I asked, "Why is it because he gives people presents?" Jimmy told me, "No, it's because I hear so many good things about him and how he's gonna come home, but never see him."
When Santa asks you what you want for Christmas, then says "ho ho ho," say, "Yes, please."
Why is Santa's sack so big?
He only comes once a year.
Q: Why do Dasher and Dancer love coffee?
A: Because they're Santa's Starbucks!
Why is Santa make-believe?
Because he is fake!
Why is Santa so jolly? Because he knows where the naughty girls live!
One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Claus,
"Please send me a sibling!"
Santa Claus wrote him back and said, "Okay, send me your mother!"
Why is Santa so happy? He knows where all the naughty girls and ho ho hos live.
What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common? They both let little kids sit on their lap.