My friend Jimmy said his dad is exactly like Santa, I asked “Why is it because he gives people presents?” Jimmy told me “No it’s because I hear so many good things about him but and how he’s gonna come home, but never see him.”
Aunt: Stop telling the kids Santa isn’t real Me: Stop telling them their dad is going to get milk
When Santa Asks You what you want for Christmas then says ho ho ho say yes Please.
Why is Santa’s sack so big?
He only comes once a year
whats the difference between Chris Brown and Santa.
Santa stops at 3 hoes
Santa was asked to describe Mrs. Claus in three words.
His response was “Ho ho ho”
So Santa fell down the chimney but it was a lit chimney…his names no longer Santa. It’s crisp cringle. Pls send help :).
if an emo doesn’t get better by Christmas Santas reindeer won’t be the only thing jumping off roofs this year
Santa and Bill Cosby’s favorite quote " don’t be dumb make sure they’re numb and always use a condom!"
I was trying to poison santa, but he killed my dad and ate all the cookies! 😤
The dyslexic devil worshipper sold his soul to Santa
What is worse to have - a dead baby or dead Santa Claus? Santa. You need extra freezers for reindeer.
So a girl goes to Santa in the mall, and Santa asks what she would like for Christmas. So the kid says: “a little sister”. So then Santa says: “bring me your mother!”
Roses are red He shows no remorse
Santa claus Has joined the terrorist force
Q:Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?
A:He only comes once a year.
Why is Santa’s sack so big- because he only comes once a year
what shoes do pedofiles wear? White vans. How do pedofiles fit in? They force it to go in. How do you make a 16 mm hole into a 40 mm hole? A pedofile comes in. What did Santa say when he was passing over some hookers? “Ho ho ho!”
What does santa say about my mom? HO HO HO
One man was very depressed cause he lost everything. He lost his job. He lost his home and he lost his wife. So he went lonely into the forest to grief. Suddenly with the head rise up he sees Santa Claus walking by. - Santa? he asks. ‘Why are you early, it is not even christmas?’
- ho, ho. Don’t worry about me. Lets worry about you instead’ says Santa. What is the problem my friend?’
- I lost everything good in my life. I got fired from my job. My wife divorced me. I lost my house.' Santa: I can help you. You can wish three things you want in life and i’ll give it to you-' Man: My first wish is i want my house back. Santa: Done! Man: My second wish is i want 1 million amount of cash in my bank account. Santa: Done! Man: My third wish is i also want my job back! Santa: Done, but before i actually give you those wishes, I haft to hump you. Man: Okey. Lets do it. So the Santa claus takes of his pants to hump the man. After they are done humping the santa ask the man: -How old are you? Man: I am 35 years old. Santa: And still believe in Santa Claus??!! HOHOHOHO!!!
What did Santa say when he saw a pretty girl?
HO, HO, HO!