Violence jokes
What’s strong enough for a man, but made for a woman?
The back of my hand.
Roses or daisies? Now I know what flowers to put on your casket when I murder that pussy.
What did Chris Brown say the first time he saw Rihanna?
I’d hit that.
I would never slap a woman, then I’d be destroying property.
The other day I went to a museum. My friend and I went to the Holocaust section, and he got choked up when he saw the Anne Frank picture. I asked him, "Why are you sad? It's just an ashtray."
What does a cannibal do after eating its vegetables?
Sells the wheelchair.
Rizz.
Are you a dinosaur? Because I want to blow you up.
What’s the difference between life and a rape joke?
Life fucks you until you stop breathing; a rape joke fucks you until it’s not funny anymore.
What's black and white and red all over? An American School.
Why is it okay to hit an orphan?
It's not like it can tell its parents.
My friend said an apple a day keeps the orphan away. I said only if you throw it hard enough.
School shooting: Happens.
Foreign Exchange Student: Starts sobbing under desk.
American Student: "First time?"
Bligitty blot, bliggity blit,
You better not be talkin' shit. 🔫
What do you call a 6 year old with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
How did the Emo kid bag all the cheerleaders?
He hit them all when he started shooting his shot.
I actually want peace, not war.
That's what I always try reminding my girlfriend before beating her up.
What do you call a child version of Batman?
The Raped Crusader.
What do you call a deaf and blind axe murderer?
Helen Killer.
She said she wanted me to treat her like a dishwasher. So I loaded her up, ran her through a rough cycle, and left her wet and broken on the floor.
Two terrorists walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What can I get you?"
The terrorists both say, "A beer."
The bartender overhears them talking about how they will kill 300 people and a donkey. The bartender says, "Why a donkey?"
One terrorist says, "See, I told you no one would care about the people!"