I would never slap a woman, then I’d be destroying property.
Violence Jokes
The other day I went to a museum. My friend and I went to the Holocaust section, and he got choked up when he saw the Anne Frank picture. I asked him, "Why are you sad? It's just an ashtray."
What does a cannibal do after eating its vegetables?
Sells the wheelchair.
Rizz.
Are you a dinosaur? Because I want to blow you up.
What’s the difference between life and a rape joke?
Life fucks you until you stop breathing; a rape joke fucks you until it’s not funny anymore.
What's black and white and red all over? An American School.
Why is it okay to hit an orphan?
It's not like it can tell its parents.
My friend said an apple a day keeps the orphan away. I said only if you throw it hard enough.
School shooting: Happens.
Foreign Exchange Student: Starts sobbing under desk.
American Student: "First time?"
Bligitty blot, bliggity blit,
You better not be talkin' shit. 🔫
What do you call a 6 year old with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
How did the Emo kid bag all the cheerleaders?
He hit them all when he started shooting his shot.
I actually want peace, not war.
That's what I always try reminding my girlfriend before beating her up.
Two terrorists walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What can I get you?"
The terrorists both say, "A beer."
The bartender overhears them talking about how they will kill 300 people and a donkey. The bartender says, "Why a donkey?"
One terrorist says, "See, I told you no one would care about the people!"
Here is a joke: Rape.
How many kids does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them. 😂😂😂😂
Why did nobody believe the little girl who got raped?
She said a monster attacked her.
What does an autistic kid and a porn video have in common? You can shoot both of them, just not in public.
Why are people surprised by Johnny Depp having $30,000 wine bills, domestic violence accusations, rampant substance abuse, poor hygiene, and the looks of a predator?
He grew up a Florida Man, after all.
Never break someone's heart, they only have one. Break their bones instead, they have 206 of them.
