Violence jokes
A man robs a bank and asks a woman, "Did you see that?"
She says, "Yes." So the man shoots her.
He leaves the bank and sees a couple. He asks, "Did you see that?" The husband said, "No, but my wife did!"
If you're bored, punch an orphan.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Man 1: Hey, I heard you survived a school shooting. What was it like?
Man 2: People were screaming and running everywhere. I was only able to get a few of them.
What was the first thing that went through the 9/11 victims' heads?
Their ankles.
My last 15 minutes as a 23 y/o!!
It's not my birthday, but a scary-looking man with a crowbar just broke into my house.
What do you call a 6 year old with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
I actually want peace, not war.
That's what I always try reminding my girlfriend before beating her up.
She said she wanted me to treat her like a dishwasher. So I loaded her up, ran her through a rough cycle, and left her wet and broken on the floor.
I saw names carved into a tree and thought it was romantic. Until I realized how many people bring knives on dates.
Why do Americans always win gold at the shooting Olympics?
Because they practice at the best schools.
Why did the cop show up early to the protest? To beat the crowd.
What's the difference between Chris Brown and Santa?
Santa stops at three hoes.
Q: Why are school shooting jokes funny?
A: Because they're intended for a young audience.
I was playing laser tag with my ex, but I (wink) didn't realize I had a real gun.
What’s strong enough for a man, but made for a woman?
The back of my hand.
School shooting: Happens.
Foreign Exchange Student: Starts sobbing under desk.
American Student: "First time?"
Bligitty blot, bliggity blit,
You better not be talkin' shit. 🔫
If an emo kid and the quiet kid had a fight, the quiet kid would win because the emo kid would cut himself to death.
What's black and white and red all over? An American School.
Rizz.
Are you a dinosaur? Because I want to blow you up.