What's an alien's favorite computer key?
The space bar!
Where do alien cows come from?
- The Milky Way.
How does E.T. have an advantage over orphans? E.T. can actually phone home.
What has three balls and flies through space?
E.T. the extra testicle.
What is an alien's favourite chocolate?
A Mars bar.
Why did Mexicans go to Area 51?
To show them what a real illegal alien looks like.
Why is E.T. better than an orphan?
Because he found his way home.
What do you do when you see a spaceman?
Park in it, man!
What is the difference between an illegal immigrant and E.T.?
E.T. eventually went home!
There was an illegal alien woman who wanted to be called "undocumented." So, I had "undocumented" sex with her and threatened to have her deported if she reported me for rape. I'd call it even.
Why did an orphan kill ET?
To phone home.
Thanks to an unfortunate typo, it's the most one-sided action movie ever.
Alen vs. Predator.
What do you call a friend in space?
Space friend.
Alien vs Predator.
Cosby vs E.T.
What do alien moms like to drink? Starbucks.
If aliens were real,
then orphans would finally have a home.
Why were ET's eyes so big?
Because he saw the phone bill.
If they made a movie about your sex life, what would the title be?
Mine would be "Alien Vs. Predator."
What happens when an alien connects with your device?
The alien says on your device: ".-- . / - .-. .- ...- . .-.. / ..-. .-. --- -- / -- .- -. -.-- / -- .- -. -.-- / --. .- .-.. .- -..- -.-- ..."
What do you call Darth Vader when he dies?
A black alien.
