Alien jokes
What's an alien's favorite computer key?
The space bar!
What is the difference between an illegal immigrant and E.T.?
E.T. eventually went home!
Where do alien cows come from?
- The Milky Way.
What type of jam do aliens like?
Space Jam!
Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a joke, so are you.
Bra eat E.T.?
My son got in trouble for writing the following underneath the question “Do aliens exist?”
“Of course they do! They live in Mexico!”
What do you call a war dodo named Bob in WW2 and he came from Mars?
Bruno Mars.
What do you call it when a Mexican and a pedophile fight?
Alien vs Predator.
Why did an orphan kill ET?
To phone home.
Best chick ever.
Call me at 6969696969.
Chris Hemsworth is Australian, and Thor is from space. Does that make him an Australien?
What do you call a child predator and an illegal immigrant? Alien vs. Predator.
What does Ben 10 call his wife?
Humungouswhore
An alien walks into a bar. There is a guy sitting next to him, and the alien touches his shoulder.
The man says, "Do that one more time and I'll run you over." The alien does it again and gets ran over. They get back in the bar and he touches him again. The man says, "Do that again and I'll chop your dick off." He touches him again. The man pulls the alien's pants down and pulls out his knife. He was astonished at what he found. There was nothing there! He looks up at the alien and looks at his finger and fainted.
What do you call Darth Vader when he dies?
A black alien.
Do you know why no one speaks about George Washington?
John Adams turned him into atoms. John Adams was an alien.
Me: Are you an alien?
Friend: No.
Me: Yeah, because you're too ugly to be one.
If an illegal immigrant fights against a child molester, would that be "Alien vs Predator"?
What do you call a lesbian alien? A "lesbeening."