What's an alien's favorite computer key?
The space bar!
What is the difference between an illegal immigrant and E.T.?
E.T. eventually went home!
Where do alien cows come from?
- The Milky Way.
What has three balls and flies through space?
E.T. the extra testicle.
Why is E.T. better than an orphan?
Because he found his way home.
What do you do when you see a spaceman?
Park in it, man!
There was an illegal alien woman who wanted to be called "undocumented." So, I had "undocumented" sex with her and threatened to have her deported if she reported me for rape. I'd call it even.
If aliens were real,
then orphans would finally have a home.
If they made a movie about your sex life, what would the title be?
Mine would be "Alien Vs. Predator."
Why were ET's eyes so big?
Because he saw the phone bill.
What do you call Darth Vader when he dies?
A black alien.