Violence jokes
What’s the difference between football and rape?
Women don’t like football.
Friend 1: I don't want to jump.
Friend 2: Me neither.
Murderer: If you don't jump, I'll stab you.
Friend 1: *jumps*
Friend 2: *jumps*
Murderer: I didn't mean off the building!
Friend 1: I know that. I just pretended to jump to get rid of that guy.
What is a self-harm person's favorite game?
Fruit Ninja.
I got a phone call from a guy labeled "assassin" saying my life will end soon. I seriously doubt that he w- *gunshot*
What song do you think was playing at the school?
"Pumped Up Kicks"
It's only okay to beat up a dwarf when they walk up to your wife and say, "Your hair smells nice."
When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”
When is a rapist safe around children?
When his plans are oven ready.
A girl called me ugly.
So I drove over her with a car and called her flat.
I went to find someone to fuck in the streets for money, and I found a prostitute, but then she raped me. After she said it was amazing and instead let me push.
What's the similarity between pedophiles and school shooters?
They both shoot when they see kids.
Would love to pound Sterling with a 14 lb hammer.
What can change color and get beat up?
You.
Why couldn't the kid play on his laptop?
Because he has no arms and no laptop and no legs and no head and no home and no money and got shot.
Somebody called the cops for a school shooting, what a snitch!
Don't break someone's heart because they only have one; instead, break their bones... they have 206.
Here is a joke: Rape.
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
The baby cries when I cut it, but an onion makes me cry when I cut it.
What's black and white and red all over?
A police brutality case.
Raping white women should be encouraged everywhere!