Violence jokes
What is a self-harm person's favorite game?
Fruit Ninja.
I got a phone call from a guy labeled "assassin" saying my life will end soon. I seriously doubt that he w- *gunshot*
It's only okay to beat up a dwarf when they walk up to your wife and say, "Your hair smells nice."
When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”
What song do you think was playing at the school?
"Pumped Up Kicks"
Memes
Pog did not punch someone. This story is false.
Friend 1: I don't want to jump.
Friend 2: Me neither.
Murderer: If you don't jump, I'll stab you.
Friend 1: *jumps*
Friend 2: *jumps*
Murderer: I didn't mean off the building!
Friend 1: I know that. I just pretended to jump to get rid of that guy.
I went to find someone to fuck in the streets for money, and I found a prostitute, but then she raped me. After she said it was amazing and instead let me push.
What's the similarity between pedophiles and school shooters?
They both shoot when they see kids.
Would love to pound Sterling with a 14 lb hammer.
What can change color and get beat up?
You.
When is a rapist safe around children?
When his plans are oven ready.
Where do rape victims buy their clothes from?
The kids section.
Somebody called the cops for a school shooting, what a snitch!
Don't break someone's heart because they only have one; instead, break their bones... they have 206.
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
The baby cries when I cut it, but an onion makes me cry when I cut it.
What's black and white and red all over?
A police brutality case.
How can all rape be prevented? Just teach your daughters to never say no to a man. There - fixed!
One day, someone goes out into the forest to go hunting, and finds out there are a few others in the forest. He comes back the next day to learn he is the only person there.
Where are the others?
They're in his freezer.
I was having sex with my girl, and she said she likes it rough, so I socked her in the face.
Sy'kyira (😌): I can't wait for the therapist to come.
Daina (😊): Same, 30 minutes have passed... I also wonder what that loud sound is.
Sy'kyira (😅): SAME!!!! What, does it sound like a woman suffering???
Daina (😌): I know, right?