Violence jokes
What's the difference between anal rape and a microwave?
A microwave won't brown your meat.
What do pedophiles and Sandy Hook have in common?
Shooting up schoolchildren.
When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”
I got a phone call from a guy labeled "assassin" saying my life will end soon. I seriously doubt that he w- *gunshot*
What is a self-harm person's favorite game?
Fruit Ninja.
Memes
It's only okay to beat up a dwarf when they walk up to your wife and say, "Your hair smells nice."
What song do you think was playing at the school?
"Pumped Up Kicks"
Friend 1: I don't want to jump.
Friend 2: Me neither.
Murderer: If you don't jump, I'll stab you.
Friend 1: *jumps*
Friend 2: *jumps*
Murderer: I didn't mean off the building!
Friend 1: I know that. I just pretended to jump to get rid of that guy.
What's the similarity between pedophiles and school shooters?
They both shoot when they see kids.
When is a rapist safe around children?
When his plans are oven ready.
Where do rape victims buy their clothes from?
The kids section.
I went to find someone to fuck in the streets for money, and I found a prostitute, but then she raped me. After she said it was amazing and instead let me push.
Would love to pound Sterling with a 14 lb hammer.
What can change color and get beat up?
You.
Somebody called the cops for a school shooting, what a snitch!
Don't break someone's heart because they only have one; instead, break their bones... they have 206.
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
The baby cries when I cut it, but an onion makes me cry when I cut it.
What's black and white and red all over?
A police brutality case.
How can all rape be prevented? Just teach your daughters to never say no to a man. There - fixed!
I was having sex with my girl, and she said she likes it rough, so I socked her in the face.