Violence jokes
What do pedophiles and Sandy Hook have in common?
Shooting up schoolchildren.
What’s the difference between football and rape?
Women don’t like football.
Friend 1: I don't want to jump.
Friend 2: Me neither.
Murderer: If you don't jump, I'll stab you.
Friend 1: *jumps*
Friend 2: *jumps*
Murderer: I didn't mean off the building!
Friend 1: I know that. I just pretended to jump to get rid of that guy.
What is a self-harm person's favorite game?
Fruit Ninja.
I got a phone call from a guy labeled "assassin" saying my life will end soon. I seriously doubt that he w- *gunshot*
It's only okay to beat up a dwarf when they walk up to your wife and say, "Your hair smells nice."
When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”
What song do you think was playing at the school?
"Pumped Up Kicks"
Where do rape victims buy their clothes from?
The kids section.
When is a rapist safe around children?
When his plans are oven ready.
I went to find someone to fuck in the streets for money, and I found a prostitute, but then she raped me. After she said it was amazing and instead let me push.
What's the similarity between pedophiles and school shooters?
They both shoot when they see kids.
Would love to pound Sterling with a 14 lb hammer.
What can change color and get beat up?
You.
Somebody called the cops for a school shooting, what a snitch!
Don't break someone's heart because they only have one; instead, break their bones... they have 206.
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
The baby cries when I cut it, but an onion makes me cry when I cut it.
What's black and white and red all over?
A police brutality case.
One day, someone goes out into the forest to go hunting, and finds out there are a few others in the forest. He comes back the next day to learn he is the only person there.
Where are the others?
They're in his freezer.
I was having sex with my girl, and she said she likes it rough, so I socked her in the face.