Violence jokes
What’s the difference between football and rape?
Women don’t like football.
What is a self-harm person's favorite game?
Fruit Ninja.
When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”
It's only okay to beat up a dwarf when they walk up to your wife and say, "Your hair smells nice."
I got a phone call from a guy labeled "assassin" saying my life will end soon. I seriously doubt that he w- *gunshot*
What song do you think was playing at the school?
"Pumped Up Kicks"
Friend 1: I don't want to jump.
Friend 2: Me neither.
Murderer: If you don't jump, I'll stab you.
Friend 1: *jumps*
Friend 2: *jumps*
Murderer: I didn't mean off the building!
Friend 1: I know that. I just pretended to jump to get rid of that guy.
Where do rape victims buy their clothes from?
The kids section.
When is a rapist safe around children?
When his plans are oven ready.
I went to find someone to fuck in the streets for money, and I found a prostitute, but then she raped me. After she said it was amazing and instead let me push.
Would love to pound Sterling with a 14 lb hammer.
What's the similarity between pedophiles and school shooters?
They both shoot when they see kids.
What can change color and get beat up?
You.
Somebody called the cops for a school shooting, what a snitch!
Don't break someone's heart because they only have one; instead, break their bones... they have 206.
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
The baby cries when I cut it, but an onion makes me cry when I cut it.
What's black and white and red all over?
A police brutality case.
How can all rape be prevented? Just teach your daughters to never say no to a man. There - fixed!
One day, someone goes out into the forest to go hunting, and finds out there are a few others in the forest. He comes back the next day to learn he is the only person there.
Where are the others?
They're in his freezer.
I was having sex with my girl, and she said she likes it rough, so I socked her in the face.