Violence jokes
"And then I said, \"Knife to meet you.\""
"You stabbed my brother!"
"It's okay, I'm in stable condition!"
If Germany is the father land, and Russia is the mother land, would WWII just be domestic violence?
What do you call a child version of Batman?
The Raped Crusader.
How do terrorists feed their children?
Here comes the airplane.
Don't break someone's heart. They only have one.
Break someone's bones. They have 206 of them.
Memes
I was reading this in class and laughed at loud, i had to clear all my history of jokes
My ex-boyfriend threatened to kill me because I was suicidal.
I wanted to tell him, "Well, can we get what we both want?" I was already planning on dying anyway.
You know that at Walmart they have backpacks next to the guns? Well, I thought that it was nice to see the bags next to the school supplies.
What do you call a murderer with two butts? An assassin.
How is a child molester and Harambe the same? They both get shot for touching little kids.
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when you push them down the stairs.
If you’re ever bored, then go outside and punch an orphan. Who are they going to tell, their parents?
I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for Christmas.
He said it was the most violent book he ever read.
What do you call terrorists in a wheelchair?
An RCXD.
What do you call a white kid at the back of the class?
School shooter.
Yo mama so fat that Will Smith could slap her from a mile away.
As a murderer, I stabbed a man after infiltrating his house. His wife came in and saw me. She fell into tears. I got up and said, "Drama queen!"
We sped up the cycle of life and death, we gave Eric and Dylan a shortcut.
My boy, I think it is about time that I leave this world. Now draw your weapon and kill me now!
*draws a picture of his "epic" sword*
"What... WHAT... WTH ARE YOU DOING SIMPLETON? I DIDN'T MEAN THAT KIND OF DRAW!"
There are too many suicidal people in this world. I’m going to make sure there is at least one less.
"When is the best time to commit suicide?"
Ate a Glock in the morning.