Violence jokes

What's the difference between an American school and a shooting range?

My dick doesn't get hard at the shooting range.

"And then I said, \"Knife to meet you.\""

"You stabbed my brother!"

"It's okay, I'm in stable condition!"

"When is the best time to commit suicide?"

Ate a Glock in the morning.

What makes a 360 no-scope and JFK's assassination similar?

Both were some of the greatest achievements in history to achieve.

There are too many suicidal people in this world. I’m going to make sure there is at least one less.

What do you call terrorists in a wheelchair?

An RCXD.

I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for Christmas.

He said it was the most violent book he ever read.

Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when you push them down the stairs.

When the quiet kid gets angry and the sped kid sees your hiding spot.

Bing, bang, boom!

If you’re ever bored, then go outside and punch an orphan. Who are they going to tell, their parents?

We sped up the cycle of life and death, we gave Eric and Dylan a shortcut.

What do you call a white kid at the back of the class?

School shooter.

Yo mama so fat that Will Smith could slap her from a mile away.

How is a child molester and Harambe the same? They both get shot for touching little kids.

If Germany is the father land, and Russia is the mother land, would WWII just be domestic violence?

My boy, I think it is about time that I leave this world. Now draw your weapon and kill me now!

*draws a picture of his "epic" sword*

"What... WHAT... WTH ARE YOU DOING SIMPLETON? I DIDN'T MEAN THAT KIND OF DRAW!"

What do you call a murderer with two butts? An assassin.

My ex-boyfriend threatened to kill me because I was suicidal.

I wanted to tell him, "Well, can we get what we both want?" I was already planning on dying anyway.

You know that at Walmart they have backpacks next to the guns? Well, I thought that it was nice to see the bags next to the school supplies.

Don't break someone's heart. They only have one.

Break someone's bones. They have 206 of them.