Violence jokes

I will never forget my girlfriend's last words... "Get off of me! STOP!" *slurp*... Dead.

Did you know pigeons die after sex?

At least when I fucked it.

Did you know pigeons die after sex?

Well, at least the one I fucked did.

What's the difference between an American school and a shooting range?

My dick doesn't get hard at the shooting range.

"And then I said, \"Knife to meet you.\""

"You stabbed my brother!"

"It's okay, I'm in stable condition!"

What do you call a white kid at the back of the class?

School shooter.

When the quiet kid gets angry and the sped kid sees your hiding spot.

Bing, bang, boom!

Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when you push them down the stairs.

What do you call terrorists in a wheelchair?

An RCXD.

If you’re ever bored, then go outside and punch an orphan. Who are they going to tell, their parents?

How is a child molester and Harambe the same? They both get shot for touching little kids.

Yo mama so fat that Will Smith could slap her from a mile away.

We sped up the cycle of life and death, we gave Eric and Dylan a shortcut.

If Germany is the father land, and Russia is the mother land, would WWII just be domestic violence?

My boy, I think it is about time that I leave this world. Now draw your weapon and kill me now!

*draws a picture of his "epic" sword*

"What... WHAT... WTH ARE YOU DOING SIMPLETON? I DIDN'T MEAN THAT KIND OF DRAW!"

This morning I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator.

I was staring at boobs, and she said, "Press One?"

So I did...

I don't remember much after that.

"When is the best time to commit suicide?"

Ate a Glock in the morning.

What makes a 360 no-scope and JFK's assassination similar?

Both were some of the greatest achievements in history to achieve.

My ex-boyfriend threatened to kill me because I was suicidal.

I wanted to tell him, "Well, can we get what we both want?" I was already planning on dying anyway.

You know that at Walmart they have backpacks next to the guns? Well, I thought that it was nice to see the bags next to the school supplies.