Violence jokes
What does a wife and a boombox have in common?
They only work when you beat them.
"And then I said, \"Knife to meet you.\""
"You stabbed my brother!"
"It's okay, I'm in stable condition!"
A guy walks into a bar with a 44 magnum and yells, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" The guy behind the bar says, "Mate, you don't have enough bullets!"
How do you make a cat say woof? You cover it in petrol and light a match.
Me: Hi, my name is...
Bro: Hey guys! So who are you?
Me: Hey, stop dude!
Bro: How is it going, bro--
Me: SHUT UP!
Bro: Is that a gun?
Me: *Pointing at bro*
Bro: Dude, I'm...
Me: *BANG* *BANG*
Me: Finally, it's over.
A farmer told me that he wanted a couple of acres, so I punched him in the teeth.
I was walking down the street one day, and I passed the gun store. I walked in, and everything was half off. I didn't know back-to-school sales had started already!
When is a rapist safe around children?
When his plans are oven ready.
Don't break girls' hearts. Break their legs instead. They're two.
Go drop-kick an orphan. No one will know, not like his parents would know.
What does the school shooter do after he shoots a victim? He shoots more kids in them!
Are you a gun, because I would be your bullets because I love going in children.
Rape isn't a joke.
It's a type of way of making friends and to mate with other women.
It's a way of art, and works on anybody!
Like this if you agree.
What do you do during a shooting? Why, join in, of course...
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw the baby.
I was just informed that my ex was stabbed yesterday. Let's just say I quit my job as a butcher.
I wish I was at a Western bar; then I would get shot.
Why don't parents get school shooting jokes? They're aimed at a younger audience.
If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Knock knock!!
Who's there??
Dishwasher!!
Dishwasher who??
Dishwasher way i used to talk when i got my head kicked in!