Stab Jokes

Caesar Salad

Anonymous
·

How do you make any salad into a caesar salad?

Stab it twenty three times.

8

Bad

Anonymous
·

My therapist told me that time heals all wounds. So I stabbed him, now we wait

Memory

Bloodcurdling scream
·

What leaves a bigger memory than a passionate kiss?

a stab wound

0

Ex

Anonymous
·

i just found out my ex got stabbed today....lets just say i lost my job as a butcher

Penguin

Robot.
·

Friends are like penguins.

If you stab a penguin, they die.

4

Gun

Anonymous
·

A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an exposition to the Amazon Forest. After a while they get lost. So as they are walking suddenly the bushes jump up into the air and men with spears are there. One man says "Hey, your in our sacred land. So what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren't that crazy so we will let you choose how you die." The man from France said, "bring me the poison." The man from Britain said, "bring me the gun" And the man from New York said, "bring me a fork" The guy was confused with the fork but still brought it the items and gave it to them. The guy from France said, "for the France!" And drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, "long live the queen!" And shot himself and died. And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said "MAKE A CANOE OUT OF THIS YOU FUCKERS"

Man

Anonymous
·

Monkey Man's mortuary you stab 'em we slab 'em

Hospital

Anonymous
·

There is a man in the hospital the power went out and the man was stabbed to death, there are three witnesses, the nurse who was with another patient, the doctor who was reading some paperwork, and The Who was at the vending machine, who killed the man? The mom did because you can’t use a vending machine when the powers out!

Depression

Anonymous.101
·

My Dr told me "Time heals Wounds ".. So I Stabbed him .... Now we wait.....

Shooting

Anonymous
·

I either want to hang, stab, or shoot myself. I'm dying to choose.

Gun

The American
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3 people explored the jungles, one was was France, one from Britain, and the other from America. While exploring, they were captured by the tribe living there. The tribesmen told the three "You three have invaded our territory, so we must kill you and use your bodies to create canoes. However we aren't that heartless so we'll let you choose your deaths." So the French guy asked for a gun, pointed to his head and said "Viva la France" and shot himself. The Britain guy requested for poison and said "For the queen" and drank the poison. Lastly the American asked for a spoon, the tribesmen were confused but still gave him the spoon. When the American got the spoon, he started stabbing himself "Try make a canoe out of this one!"

7

Dark Humor

d......
·

Want to know how you make any salad into a caesar salad? Stab it twenty-three times.

Poor

Anonymous
·

Someone in London is stabbed every two minutes. Poor guy.

Salad

lofty
·

How do you make any salad int a Cesar salad? you stab it 23 times.

Nun

Aninumos
·

A guy was dying after getting stabbed in a church.he said to the priest please say a prayer for me and the priest said ‘I ain’t got nun left’ then he died

Knife

stabwounds101
·

Knife to meet u all!

Steak

pro joker
·

I killed 5 zombies and stabbed a vampire with a steak and then I started to wonder why they were carrying bags of candy.

Heart

Anonymous
·

Mary's mother was a good person why did she die? -because she got stabbed in the heart 60 times by a switchblade

2

Depression

Aleah
·

my therapist says with time all wounds can heal so I stabbed him now we wait

Halloween

·

me: *stabs vampire*

wife: omg

me: *beats vampire to death*

wife: OMG

me: what

wife: ur supposed to give them candy

me: well thats a sticky situation now isnt it barbara