How do you make any salad into a caesar salad?

Stab it twenty three times.

Friends are like penguins.

If you stab a penguin, they die.

What leaves a bigger memory than a passionate kiss?

a stab wound

i just found out my ex got stabbed today…lets just say i lost my job as a butcher

A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an exposition to the Amazon Forest. After a while they get lost. So as they are walking suddenly the bushes jump up into the air and men with spears are there. One man says "Hey, your in our sacred land. So what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren’t that crazy so we will let you choose how you die." The man from France said, "bring me the poison." The man from Britain said, "bring me the gun" And the man from New York said, "bring me a fork" The guy was confused with the fork but still brought it the items and gave it to them. The guy from France said, “for the France!” And drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, “long live the queen!” And shot himself and died. And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said “MAKE A CANOE OUT OF THIS YOU FUCKERS”

Monkey Man’s mortuary you stab 'em we slab 'em

What’s the difference between Issac Newton and the baby I just stabbed to death? Issac Newton dies a virgin.

How do you make any salad int a Cesar salad? you stab it 23 times.

Knife to meet u all!

“And then I said KNIFE to meet you.”

“You stabbed my brother!”

“It’s okay, I’m in STABle condition!”

3 people explored the jungles, one was was France, one from Britain, and the other from America. While exploring, they were captured by the tribe living there. The tribesmen told the three “You three have invaded our territory, so we must kill you and use your bodies to create canoes. However we aren’t that heartless so we’ll let you choose your deaths.” So the French guy asked for a gun, pointed to his head and said “Viva la France” and shot himself. The Britain guy requested for poison and said “For the queen” and drank the poison. Lastly the American asked for a spoon, the tribesmen were confused but still gave him the spoon. When the American got the spoon, he started stabbing himself “Try make a canoe out of this one!”

What is the difference between Sir Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed

Sir Isaac Newton died a virgin

Mary’s mother was a good person why did she die? -because she got stabbed in the heart 60 times by a switchblade

There is a man in the hospital the power went out and the man was stabbed to death, there are three witnesses, the nurse who was with another patient, the doctor who was reading some paperwork, and The Who was at the vending machine, who killed the man? The mom did because you can’t use a vending machine when the powers out!

friend 1: I don’t want to jump. friend 2: me neither .murderer: if you don’t jump ill stab you. friend 1: jumps. friend 2: jumps. murderer. i didn’t mean off the building friend 1: I know that i just pretended to jump to get rid of that guy

A bear is like your best mate harry If you stab them They die from a stab wound

Bring a knife into the shower. NEVER gunna see that coming! He pulls the curtain like ‘ re re‘ and your like ‘ re re ‘ yourself motherf*ucker and stab him right in the eye! You thought the psycho was out there? SUPRIZE the psycho’s IN HERE with the Irish Spring on them!

Brian was shopping at a mall. He hopped onto an escalator. Next to him were two people having an argument. Eventually, one of them pulled out a pocket knife threatening to stab the other. Brian murmured “well that escalated quickly…”

My dad…came over late at night…he was drunk…he started telling me how useless I was…then I went to the kitchen grabbed a knife and stabbed him in the chest 47 times…3 minutes later…he died…now I’m losing mind…and cutting myself…

I was just informed that my ex was stabbed yesterday…lets just say i quit my job as a butcher

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