Time

Anonymous

How do you make any salad into a caesar salad?

Stab it twenty three times.

Kiss

Bloodcurdling scream

What leaves a bigger memory than a passionate kiss?

a stab wound

Die

Robot.

Friends are like penguins.

If you stab a penguin, they die.

Ex

Anonymous

i just found out my ex got stabbed today…lets just say i lost my job as a butcher

Man

Anonymous

Monkey Man’s mortuary you stab 'em we slab 'em

Man

Anonymous

A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an exposition to the Amazon Forest. After a while they get lost. So as they are walking suddenly the bushes jump up into the air and men with spears are there. One man says "Hey, your in our sacred land. So what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren’t that crazy so we will let you choose how you die." The man from France said, "bring me the poison." The man from Britain said, "bring me the gun" And the man from New York said, "bring me a fork" The guy was confused with the fork but still brought it the items and gave it to them. The guy from France said, “for the France!” And drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, “long live the queen!” And shot himself and died. And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said “MAKE A CANOE OUT OF THIS YOU FUCKERS”

Time

Anonymous

My therapist told me that time heals all wounds. So I stabbed him, now we wait

Difference

hellhasaseatjustforme

What’s the difference between Issac Newton and the baby I just stabbed to death? Issac Newton dies a virgin.

Time

lofty

How do you make any salad int a Cesar salad? you stab it 23 times.

Knife

Haisk

“And then I said KNIFE to meet you.”

“You stabbed my brother!”

“It’s okay, I’m in STABle condition!”

America

The American

3 people explored the jungles, one was was France, one from Britain, and the other from America. While exploring, they were captured by the tribe living there. The tribesmen told the three “You three have invaded our territory, so we must kill you and use your bodies to create canoes. However we aren’t that heartless so we’ll let you choose your deaths.” So the French guy asked for a gun, pointed to his head and said “Viva la France” and shot himself. The Britain guy requested for poison and said “For the queen” and drank the poison. Lastly the American asked for a spoon, the tribesmen were confused but still gave him the spoon. When the American got the spoon, he started stabbing himself “Try make a canoe out of this one!”

Welcome

Anonymous

Welcome to David’s Morge you stab 'em we slab 'em!

Die

Anonymous

Mary’s mother was a good person why did she die? -because she got stabbed in the heart 60 times by a switchblade

Difference

Anonymous

What is the difference between Sir Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed

Sir Isaac Newton died a virgin

Knife

stabwounds101

Knife to meet u all!

Depression

Anonymous

a depressed guy walk into a utensil store and finds a knife but he didnt stab himself… part 2 coming out tommorow

Man

Anonymous

There is a man in the hospital the power went out and the man was stabbed to death, there are three witnesses, the nurse who was with another patient, the doctor who was reading some paperwork, and The Who was at the vending machine, who killed the man? The mom did because you can’t use a vending machine when the powers out!

Ex

A dog

I was just informed that my ex was stabbed yesterday…lets just say i quit my job as a butcher

Die

Professor Dickstain

A bear is like your best mate harry If you stab them They die from a stab wound

Guy

Anonymous

friend 1: I don’t want to jump. friend 2: me neither .murderer: if you don’t jump ill stab you. friend 1: jumps. friend 2: jumps. murderer. i didn’t mean off the building friend 1: I know that i just pretended to jump to get rid of that guy

Loading...