Assassination

Assassination Jokes

Gravity

An assassin threatens a planet.

The planet remains calm.

The assassin: "Do you not realize the gravity of this situation?"

Julius Caesar

You travel to the past into the era where Julius Caesar is still alive. He thinks you may be from the future to bring him good news. He asks you, "How do I die?"

You reply with: "Surrounded by friends."

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  • JFK

    Sometimes you just need to take a drive through the city to clear your head.

    -JFK

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  • President

    Why were Abraham Lincoln and John F. Kennedy very wise presidents?

    They both had an open mind.

    Sex position

    My favorite sex position is the JFK. I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car.

    Killer

    What do JFK’s killer and a prostitute have in common?

    “They both blow heads.”

    Mind

    Hey JFK, what would you do if you were in a fight?

    JFK: Well, I'd give them a piece of my mind.

    Adolf Hitler

    A man tried to shoot Adolf Hitler, but missed. Then Adolf replied, "Oh shoot, I did nazi that coming!"

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  • View

    John Lennon: "What a nice view."

    John walked outside.

    He got shot.

    :skull:

    JFK

    Where did JFK go in his car? I am not sure of his intentional destination, but he did go everywhere.

    Mind

    My mind was blown when I saw all the people waving at me.

    -JFK

    President

    I was rooting for Donald Trump to be president.

    We haven't had a presidential assassination in a while.