Assassination jokes

What's a school shooter's favorite anime?

Assassination Classroom.

An assassin threatens a planet.

The planet remains calm.

The assassin: "Do you not realize the gravity of this situation?"

You travel to the past into the era where Julius Caesar is still alive. He thinks you may be from the future to bring him good news. He asks you, "How do I die?"

You reply with: "Surrounded by friends."

Sometimes you just need to take a drive through the city to clear your head.

-JFK

Why were Abraham Lincoln and John F. Kennedy very wise presidents?

They both had an open mind.

My favorite sex position is the JFK. I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car.

If Martin Luther King were white, what would they call him?

Alive.

What do JFK’s killer and a prostitute have in common?

“They both blow heads.”

Hey JFK, what would you do if you were in a fight?

JFK: Well, I'd give them a piece of my mind.

Did you ever think that John F. Kennedy went for a ride in Dallas just to clear his head?

A man tried to shoot Adolf Hitler, but missed. Then Adolf replied, "Oh shoot, I did nazi that coming!"

What was the last thing to go through JFK's mind?

A bullet.

What category of music did JFK like?

You could say he was a metalhead.

John Lennon: "What a nice view."

John walked outside.

He got shot.

:skull:

Where did JFK go in his car? I am not sure of his intentional destination, but he did go everywhere.

I was hit on by President Kennedy, too bad I shot him down.

Why was JFK stupid? He only had half a brain.

My mind was blown when I saw all the people waving at me.

-JFK

Everyone's had a mind-blowing day before, just ask JFK.

I was rooting for Donald Trump to be president.

We haven't had a presidential assassination in a while.