Violence jokes

A bomb is like a baby; when you drop it, everyone screams.

So this guy is talking to his buddy about his flying lessons. "My first time in the air, my instructor informed me that he was an 8th degree black belt and homosexual, and if I don't succumb to his sexual advances I would have to jump out of the plane," and his buddy says, "Well, did you jump?" The guy says, "Yeah, a little at first."

What do you get when you put a baby in a box of razor blades and throw it down the stairs?

An erection!

When the school shooter starts doing Fortnite dances and the autistic kid joins in.

I’d make a rape joke, but I don't wanna force that on you too.

What can change color and get beat up?

You.

Did you know that big black dicks can be weapons and can kill people?

Floyd Mayweather proved it when he gave it to Logan Paul in the ass.

What sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender? I don’t know. I was too busy wanking.

How do you break up two blind guys fighting?

Yell, "My money's on the guy with the knife!"

What’s red and cries?

A skinned baby in a bag of salt.

What do you call an autistic kid coming to school with a gun?

Special Forces incoming!

Rape is not a joke.

One day, I saw a kid beating up a fat kid. But a cop came out of nowhere and threw the bully off him. The cop then asked the bully, "Why are you beating him up?" I responded, saying, "I'm fighting obesity; no children should suffer from diabetes and heart disease." Then, the cop pulled out a gun and fired, afterwards saying, "Well, how did I do?"

When the school shooter throws a smoke bomb into the classroom, and the autistic kid thinks it's a dance party.

Suicide bombers, carry bombs and remember to breathe.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I buttfucked Scooby Doo.

I'm not saying I hate you, but if you got hit by a bus, I'd be driving that bus.

In Saudi Arabia, our pick up lines are, "Girl, are you a terrorist? Cuz you da bomb."

My boy, I think it is about time that I leave this world. Now draw your weapon and kill me now!

*draws a picture of his "epic" sword*

"What... WHAT... WTH ARE YOU DOING SIMPLETON? I DIDN'T MEAN THAT KIND OF DRAW!"

How many fingers am I holding up?

Said the suicide bomber, referring to the countdown.