Violence jokes

Principal: “Why did you have to skip class? Because of that detention!”

Kid: “Whatever!”

Principal: “Why did you have to swear? Because of that one demerit!”

Kid: “Doesn't matter!”

Principal: “Why did you yell at a teacher and throw a chair at them? Because of that you're suspended!”

Kid: “Oh well!”

Principal: “Why did you have to push a kid down the stairs and kill them? Because of that you're expelled!”

Kid: “I'm trying not to kill myself!”

A black dude hits up a trap house for some crack and Hennessy, flashing his grill and boasting 'bout his gangsta life. The dealer snarls, "Pay up, fool. Or face the pipe!" He shrugs, "I'm broke, n***a." Suddenly, the dealer's ripped enforcer yanks him down, cuffs his hands with zip ties, shoves a vibrating dildo gag down his throat, slaps his ass red with a spiked paddle, then rams his throbbing monster cock into that tight hole, pounding savagely while choking him with a chain collar, flooding his guts with hot cum as he moans, "That's your high, bitch. Addicted yet?"

What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just killed?

Isaac Newton died a virgin!😎

Serial killers be like: "Blood is red, veins are blue, next one is YOU."

My therapist said time heals all wounds, so I stabbed him. Now we wait.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw it.

"Rape[is] the only sign of world peace in this life."

Teacher: Alright kids. 50, 49, 48, 47. What comes before 47?

Kid: AK!

Everyone else: 🚪 🏃🏾‍♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏾‍♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏿🏃🏿‍♀️ 🎒 🏃🏻

Grandpa's last words: "Why do you have a chainsaw?"

What do you call a violent fish?

A smackeral!

If you throw a nun, is it called a... Nunchuck???

I didn't know I raped her. I thought she wanted me to hurry up.

I say 1, 2, 3, all the kids bullied me, but now they're not so cool, cuz I shot up the school.

Rape isn't funny unless she's laughing, too.

Why did Sally get a black eye?

Because she tried to play patty cake.

"Hippity hoppity, the school shooter spotted me."

What do you do when you hear your wife squirming around in the back yard?

Reload... chhchhhh.

So I was on a Discord call the other day, and one of my friends, an American buddy, joined, and we had a conversation.

Until they said: "When did pounds change to quid?"

And I said: "They're the exact same thing."

Then they said: "But when did it happen?"

So I said: "When did school change to shooting range?"

Roses are red... Violets are blue... I feel like I'm gonna get raped next to you.

I bought a silencer for my gun, but I don't think it works.

My victims still scream.