Violence jokes

Principal: “Why did you have to skip class? Because of that detention!”

Kid: “Whatever!”

Principal: “Why did you have to swear? Because of that one demerit!”

Kid: “Doesn't matter!”

Principal: “Why did you yell at a teacher and throw a chair at them? Because of that you're suspended!”

Kid: “Oh well!”

Principal: “Why did you have to push a kid down the stairs and kill them? Because of that you're expelled!”

Kid: “I'm trying not to kill myself!”

A black dude hits up a trap house for some crack and Hennessy, flashing his grill and boasting 'bout his gangsta life. The dealer snarls, "Pay up, fool. Or face the pipe!" He shrugs, "I'm broke, n***a." Suddenly, the dealer's ripped enforcer yanks him down, cuffs his hands with zip ties, shoves a vibrating dildo gag down his throat, slaps his ass red with a spiked paddle, then rams his throbbing monster cock into that tight hole, pounding savagely while choking him with a chain collar, flooding his guts with hot cum as he moans, "That's your high, bitch. Addicted yet?"

What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just killed?

Isaac Newton died a virgin!😎

What do you call a violent fish?

A smackeral!

I didn't know I raped her. I thought she wanted me to hurry up.

Serial killers be like: "Blood is red, veins are blue, next one is YOU."

If you throw a nun, is it called a... Nunchuck???

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw it.

My therapist said time heals all wounds, so I stabbed him. Now we wait.

Teacher: Alright kids. 50, 49, 48, 47. What comes before 47?

Kid: AK!

Everyone else: 🚪 🏃🏾‍♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏾‍♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏿🏃🏿‍♀️ 🎒 🏃🏻

Grandpa's last words: "Why do you have a chainsaw?"

I say 1, 2, 3, all the kids bullied me, but now they're not so cool, cuz I shot up the school.

How can all rape be prevented? Just teach your daughters to never say no to a man. There - fixed!

Rape isn't funny unless she's laughing, too.

Why did Sally get a black eye?

Because she tried to play patty cake.

What do you do when you hear your wife squirming around in the back yard?

Reload... chhchhhh.

So I was on a Discord call the other day, and one of my friends, an American buddy, joined, and we had a conversation.

Until they said: "When did pounds change to quid?"

And I said: "They're the exact same thing."

Then they said: "But when did it happen?"

So I said: "When did school change to shooting range?"

Roses are red... Violets are blue... I feel like I'm gonna get raped next to you.

A girl called me ugly.

So I drove over her with a car and called her flat.

Do you know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Do you know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane?

Yes, I know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Yes, I know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane.