Violence jokes

What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

What's all fuzzy, warm, and laughing? The person who snapped its neck and put it into the blender.

What has more brains than the Columbine students? The wall behind them, xD.

What's grosser than gross? A truckload of dead babies.

What's grosser than that? A live one at the bottom.

What's grosser than that? When he eats his way out.

Grosser than that? When he goes back for more.

The gay kid tried to shoot up the school, but his shots would not go straight.

What’s the difference between a suicide bomber and a feminist? A suicide bomber actually does something when triggered.

What’s red and very rare?

A baby in a blender.

What do you do when you see a kid alone? You beat them up and say, "It was self-defense!"

What's worse than a dead baby?

A pile of dead babies.

What's worse than that?

The baby at the bottom of the pile is still alive.

What's worse than that?

The baby at the bottom of pile is eating its way out.

How to make an orphan BLEED?

Step 1 - Tell them to clap until they actually have a loving family.

Step 2 - LAUGH EVILLY as they BLEED.

Step 3 - Tell them to kys.

Step 4 - Leave that mental asylum.

What's a rapist's fav position?

Missionary in a dark corner.

I was raped everyday for years. I can still smile. I hold the record for the widest asshole.

How do you circumcise a redneck?

Kick his sister in the chin.

joe: Are your mom and dad nice?

zozo: Well, they were until I murdered them over a bottle of Pringles.

joe: Oh, so you are an orphan and a murderer.

I will never forget my girlfriend's last words... "Get off of me! STOP!" *slurp*... Dead.

Did you know pigeons die after sex?

At least when I fucked it.

Did you know pigeons die after sex?

Well, at least the one I fucked did.

What's the difference between an American school and a shooting range?

My dick doesn't get hard at the shooting range.

"And then I said, \"Knife to meet you.\""

"You stabbed my brother!"

"It's okay, I'm in stable condition!"

What do you call a murderer with two butts? An assassin.

How is a child molester and Harambe the same? They both get shot for touching little kids.