Violence jokes

This morning I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator.

I was staring at boobs, and she said, "Press One?"

So I did...

I don't remember much after that.

Do you know what's in common between a hitman and a photographer?

They all shoot people for a living.

How do terrorists feed their children?

Here comes the airplane.

Violence is never the answer:

It's the solution.

How do you circumcise a hillbilly?

Kick his sister in the jaw.

If you have anger problems, hit an orphan, because who are they going to tell? Not their parents.

How many children can you fit in a box?

Maybe five if you have a trash compactor.

What do you say to a girl with two black eyes?

Nothing, you told her twice.

Roses are red, violets are blue, if you take Kirby’s food, he will stab you.

I put someone in a wheelchair into the fire and called him "hot wheels."

Give a man fire, and he'll be warm for a day.

Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

Where did Sally go when the explosion happened?

Everywhere!

Those rape alarms give you a headache, don't they?

How many white police officers does it take to push an African-American gentleman down the stairs?

Push?! He fell...

How do terrorists feed their babies?

Here comes the airplane...

HERE COMES THE SECOND ONE 👹

You know what I hate about rape?

Keeping it a secret.

What's better than swinging a baby around on a rope?

Stopping it with a shovel.

What is a school shooter's favorite animal?

A Desert Eagle.

Roses are red, violets are blue, if I had a brick, I’d throw it at you.

When the school shooter asks the autistic kid which hostage he wants to rape, and he looks at you like 😋.