Violence jokes
What makes a 360 no-scope and JFK's assassination similar?
Both were some of the greatest achievements in history to achieve.
This morning I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator.
I was staring at boobs, and she said, "Press One?"
So I did...
I don't remember much after that.
Do you know what's in common between a hitman and a photographer?
They all shoot people for a living.
When the quiet kid gets angry and the sped kid sees your hiding spot.
Bing, bang, boom!
A black guy walks into a store to buy some watermelon and fried chicken. The cashier says, "That'll be $20." He pulls out his wallet, but it's empty. Suddenly, a bigger black guy bursts in, grabs him, and says, "Time to pay up, n***a!" Then he bends him over the counter and fucks him in the ass.
Memes
Those rape alarms give you a headache, don't they?
Where did Sally go when the explosion happened?
Everywhere!
What do you say to a girl with two black eyes?
Nothing, you told her twice.
Roses are red, violets are blue, if you take Kirby’s food, he will stab you.
I put someone in a wheelchair into the fire and called him "hot wheels."
Give a man fire, and he'll be warm for a day.
Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
Kick his sister in the jaw.
Violence is never the answer:
It's the solution.
If you have anger problems, hit an orphan, because who are they going to tell? Not their parents.
How many children can you fit in a box?
Maybe five if you have a trash compactor.
You know what I hate about rape?
Keeping it a secret.
What's better than swinging a baby around on a rope?
Stopping it with a shovel.
So who did it? the I.S.S. teacher said.
1 hour before:
So let me get...
Random person: Wait, what? You BROKE UP WITH HER!
Me: I SWEAR, JHONNY, THIS IS THE 3RD TIME YOU BUTT INTO MY CONVERSATION! SO... HERE... YOU... GO! *punches*
What is a school shooter's favorite animal?
A Desert Eagle.
Roses are red, violets are blue, if I had a brick, I’d throw it at you.