Violence jokes

What do you say to a girl with two black eyes?

Nothing, you told her twice.

Roses are red, violets are blue, if you take Kirby’s food, he will stab you.

I put someone in a wheelchair into the fire and called him "hot wheels."

Give a man fire, and he'll be warm for a day.

Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

How do you circumcise a hillbilly?

Kick his sister in the jaw.

Violence is never the answer:

It's the solution.

If you have anger problems, hit an orphan, because who are they going to tell? Not their parents.

You know what I hate about rape?

Keeping it a secret.

What's better than swinging a baby around on a rope?

Stopping it with a shovel.

So who did it? the I.S.S. teacher said.

1 hour before:

So let me get...

Random person: Wait, what? You BROKE UP WITH HER!

Me: I SWEAR, JHONNY, THIS IS THE 3RD TIME YOU BUTT INTO MY CONVERSATION! SO... HERE... YOU... GO! *punches*

What is a school shooter's favorite animal?

A Desert Eagle.

Roses are red, violets are blue, if I had a brick, I’d throw it at you.

A lady runs into a police station and yells, "Help, help! I've been graped!"

A police officer says, "Do you mean raped?"

The girl then replies, "No, there was a bunch of 'em!"

Commander: "Fire a warning shot."

Soldier: "Sir, this is a M32 grenade launcher."

Commander: "Potato, potato, just fire."

Soldier: *fires M32 grenade launcher near a pre-school*

Commander: "They're trying to run, TAKE THEM DOWN!"

what do you call a rape victim in Ukraine?

Debris.

Those poor kids at Sandy Hook, all they wanted was books. Instead, they got magazines.

When the school shooter asks the autistic kid which hostage he wants to rape, and he looks at you like 😋.

What do you do if you're ever attacked by a gang of clowns?

Go for the juggler!

I don't want to die alone... That is why I am working my way up to become a suicide bomber!

I didn't know I raped her. I thought she wanted me to hurry up.