Violence jokes
The other day I went to a museum. My friend and I went to the Holocaust section, and he got choked up when he saw the Anne Frank picture. I asked him, "Why are you sad? It's just an ashtray."
Roses or daisies? Now I know what flowers to put on your casket when I murder that pussy.
What do you call a murderer with two butts? An assassin.
Don't break someone's heart. They only have one.
Break someone's bones. They have 206 of them.
There are too many suicidal people in this world. I’m going to make sure there is at least one less.
Violence is never the answer:
It's the solution.
Roses are red, violets are blue, if you take Kirby’s food, he will stab you.
If you have anger problems, hit an orphan, because who are they going to tell? Not their parents.
How many children can you fit in a box?
Maybe five if you have a trash compactor.
Give a man fire, and he'll be warm for a day.
Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
Kick his sister in the jaw.
Where did Sally go when the explosion happened?
Everywhere!
How many white police officers does it take to push an African-American gentleman down the stairs?
Push?! He fell...
How do terrorists feed their babies?
Here comes the airplane...
HERE COMES THE SECOND ONE 👹
What do you say to a girl with two black eyes?
Nothing, you told her twice.
Those rape alarms give you a headache, don't they?
You know what I hate about rape?
Keeping it a secret.
What's better than swinging a baby around on a rope?
Stopping it with a shovel.
What is a school shooter's favorite animal?
A Desert Eagle.
A lady runs into a police station and yells, "Help, help! I've been graped!"
A police officer says, "Do you mean raped?"
The girl then replies, "No, there was a bunch of 'em!"