Violence jokes

So I walk into a bar, and there’s people waiting in line to punch me in the face.

That’s the punch line.

What's the difference between a pizza and a guy you really hate?

One won't scream when you remove their meat.

The parentless child stood as her orphanage was blown up by a kamikaze I had rented.

What do Priests and School shooters have in common?

They both blast little kids in the face.

I punched you so hard that I'll call you "Droppy Pussy."

So there was a school shooting in Florida. Why didn't the shooter just go to Disney?.......sorry, I just work there and I'm trying to get people to come on down.

Are you a gun, because I would be your bullets because I love going in children.

Me at the Oscars when I see Jada Pinkett Smith, I said: "G.I. Jane 2, more like G.I. Jada 2, can't wait to see it."

So Will Smith is laughing and then suddenly, Will Smith walks up to me and punches me in the face.

Me: "Ow, oh, wow. Will Smith just smacked the shit out of me.” My nigga Smith goes: "KEEP MY WIFE'S NAME OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!" Me: "Maybe you should focus on keeping her friends out of hers."

What did the Taliban say to the Afghan?

Nothing, they blew him up.

What has 6 legs, 10 arms, and 3 heads?

The Boston marathon finish line.

The hardest part of picking up a hitch hiker is tying them up.

How to kill a blind person.

Give them a gun and tell them it's a hairdryer.

Like a shooter says, "I put the fun in funeral!"

I hate child murderers, they're always so high-pitched.

Granny says don't worry, the cries of pain are only my ex-husband's.

Why did the rape victim think it was Christmas?

Because her clothes were torn off like wrapping paper.

What does a cannibal do after eating its vegetables?

Sells the wheelchair.

When you get a pop-up book of the Qur'an and it just explodes as soon as you turn the page XD.

When they say beat that pussy, I don’t play so punch it.

When the school shooter starts doing Fortnite dances and the autistic kid joins in.