A pirate walks into a tavern with a pirate ship attached to his nutty wuttys. It's driving me nuts!
A troll proceeds to pull out a desert eagle and shoot the pirate in the face. He makes a poggers face and says, "Problem??"
What's the difference between PMS and a terrorist?
You can negotiate with the terrorist.
If there's ever a shooting at school, pull out an Uno reverse card.
During the Great War, a man holding a machine gun shoots down a swarm of soldiers running on a swamp.
He says: "You came to the wrong swamp, Americans! You came to the wrong swamp!" *He didn't stop firing.*
I looked at you, and you were bald until I got slapped up by Will Smith to the back of your head and saw the Great Wall of China.
What do you call Helen Keller after she killed 10 people?
Helen Killer.
How do you prevent a physics teacher from drowning? Shoot her before she touches the water.
Why did the terrorist not get paid, but they loved their job?
They di2s drying plans.
Slay.
How do you help a rape victim on a diet lose 7 pounds?
Kill her afterwards.
Two men are next to each other. One looks at the other and asks, "Are you a fascist?"
The other man responds, "No, why would I be?"
The first man pulls out a gun and says, "Are you sure?"
The second man says, "Never mind, I am a fascist!"
When you're playing online with your friend, then you hear a kid scream: "No, Dad, please stop!" Scream ends with a gunshot.
Suicide bombers, carry bombs and remember to breathe.
Man 1: You look like Scott Cawthon.
Man 2: I'm gonna put your dick in a Coffin!
Man 3: Me first!
I went to school and everyone was screaming and looking at me. They weren't after I shot them, though.
Me: Hey, apple.
Apple: What?
Me: Knife.
Apple: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Clear all your debts with one easy payment. Buy a shotgun and blow your head off.
A guy walks into a bar with a 44 magnum and yells, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" The guy behind the bar says, "Mate, you don't have enough bullets!"
What’s red, 11 inches, and makes my girlfriend cry when I slap her with it?
Her miscarriage.
Guns control.
