Violence jokes

My life is so meaningless that I committed a crime just to get shot. 0-0

This is not a joke; this is just about death...

I was trying to tell some people here to stop, but then I found out that the S was covered in blood from me assaulting someone.

I was bullying a little kid for having a purple eye and said, "Where'd you get that? Your mom? Your dad?"

After that, everyone in my group was laughing at the kid. The next day I never saw him again.

When the guy came in with a gun to rob the store, I said: "Hey, can I borrow that?"

He says "yes." Me, over here, walking to the cashier and saying: "Goodbye!" He screams: "Have mercy!"

I say: "No, not to you, to me. Say goodbye." He says: "No, don't shoot yourself!" It was too late.

Girl, are you a public school? Because I want to shoot my kids inside you.

Little Johnny likes to play with toy guns.

Little Johnny paints them black.

Little Johnny went to a gun store.

Little Johnny made a big mess.

The cemetery people were getting paid.

I think it was wrong for that school shooter to end his life at the scene.

He could have done some good by becoming some lonely lifer's bottom.

If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

Wait, they don't have any.

I saw some kids bullying a kid in a wheelchair. I grabbed the kid, pushed him down the stairs, and said, "GTA physics."

Man: Could you hold this for me?

Kid: Ok mister! I love playing with a pew pew! Pow! Pew! Pew! Bang! *GUNSHOT*

Man: Dammit, now who am I gonna put in the van?!

What do you do when an orphan gets you mad?

A stab to the neck and a bullet to the face.

Over summer, I shot up my school and left a note saying, "I could have done this anytime!"

There's nothing stronger than love, except for an M32 Rotary Grenade Launcher because fuck you and everyone near you.

What do you call an orphan with a gun?

(No) home shooter.

My friend said she wanted to fly, so I pushed her off a building.

Kill yourself, hoes!

What do you do if your dishwasher stops working?

Punch her in the face and remind her of her duties.

Roses are red, Larry is bad.

I'VE GOT A GUN, get in the van!

So I was at a class at school, and then boom, explosion. Lots of dead.

I shoot at the people too, haha, goodbye class. Scary.

What did the cannibal say to the other?

"Can I practise on you?"