Violence jokes
What do school shooting jokes and school shooting victims have in common? They never get old.
My friend said she wanted to fly, so I pushed her off a building.
Personally, I think putting beans on toast is better than bullets in children.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.
Why did Joe get hit by a bus? Sally was driving it.
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!
Why'd my grandpa fall over?
'Cause I clapped his cheeks, fool!
Why can't you run with a pencil in the hallway? Because too many people got killed!
Science experts say when you get mad, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
I remember my grandma's last words:
"What are you doing with that axe?"
There was an enemy with a machine gun.
My commander said, "Un-arm the enemy."
So I ran over to the enemy and chopped his arms off.
Did you hear about the midget who was beaten to death playing volleyball at a nudist colony?
Here's a tip for cow tipping from TheRussianBadger.
"So if you see Otis from Barnyard, make sure you blast his ass from a distance!"
My life is so meaningless that I committed a crime just to get shot. 0-0
This is not a joke; this is just about death...
I slit my wrist and said, "THAT'S A LOT OF DAMAGE!" So I did it again, but with a knife and said, "NOW *THAT'S* A LOT OF DAMAGE!" I then put watertight Flex Seal on the wound, and it didn't seal.
I was trying to tell some people here to stop, but then I found out that the S was covered in blood from me assaulting someone.
I was bullying a little kid for having a purple eye and said, "Where'd you get that? Your mom? Your dad?"
After that, everyone in my group was laughing at the kid. The next day I never saw him again.
How do you stop a school shooter from killing you?
Tell him you don’t believe in dog.
The hardest part of picking up a hitch hiker is tying them up.
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Wait, they don't have any.
OnlyFans, but it’s me smacking your baby daddies with Twisted Tea.
Only Cans.
What do you do to a pregnant lady on a step?
Push 'em.