To all my haters, keep sucking. I'm about to cum.
B1gD1ckW31S
@b1gd1ckw31s
Sometimes when I'm sad, I remember I have a big dick.
the gayest person in the world is pacman. you can pay him 50 cents to eat 200 balls.
This dick ain't gon to suck itself.
<😏__ \ 👇 \ _/ 🍆\_
You have to be a good mom to be a MILF.
Me: You have pretty eyes.
Her: Thank you.
Me: I can make them roll back 😈🥴
I want a relationship.
*Masturbates*
I don't want a relationship.
Why can't the orphan eat Doritos?
They were all family sized!
Her chest was so flat, I felt gay while hugging her.
why did the orphan cheat on his girlfriend with a guy? Because he wanted someone to call mommy and daddy
My penis is so polite. It stands up so girls can sit down.
I'm throwing an orgy for people on antidepressants.
Let me know if you can't cum.
Why is sex like math?
You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.
Fall coming 🍁 grab you a hoodie & sum1's thick thigh baby mama to keep you warm 😌🍂
I don’t have another talking stage in me. 🤦🏿♂️ Do you squirt, and is your BD dead? 😭
I either added you because we have shit tons of mutuals, or 'cause I'd let you spit alcohol in my mouth.
I'll let you decide.
Don’t have sex. Because you will get pregnant. And die.
*having sex on lexapro*
Her: Cum for me, baby!
Me: I'm trying!
OnlyFans, but it’s me smacking your baby daddies with Twisted Tea.
Only Cans.
Don’t have sex. Because you will get pregnant. And die.