Violence jokes
What's black and red and goes 90 miles an hour? A baby in a blender!
Who wants to see me rape a toddler?
A pirate walks into a tavern with a pirate ship attached to his nutty wuttys. It's driving me nuts!
A troll proceeds to pull out a desert eagle and shoot the pirate in the face. He makes a poggers face and says, "Problem??"
Why did the terrorist not get paid, but they loved their job?
They di2s drying plans.
What's the difference between PMS and a terrorist?
You can negotiate with the terrorist.
During the Great War, a man holding a machine gun shoots down a swarm of soldiers running on a swamp.
He says: "You came to the wrong swamp, Americans! You came to the wrong swamp!" *He didn't stop firing.*
How do you help a rape victim on a diet lose 7 pounds?
Kill her afterwards.
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Slay.
What’s red, 11 inches, and makes my girlfriend cry when I slap her with it?
Her miscarriage.
A guy walks into a bar with a 44 magnum and yells, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" The guy behind the bar says, "Mate, you don't have enough bullets!"
How many babies does it take to cover a brick wall?
Depends on how hard you throw it. 😆😂😁
If there's ever a shooting at school, pull out an Uno reverse card.
Clear all your debts with one easy payment. Buy a shotgun and blow your head off.
Me: Hey, apple.
Apple: What?
Me: Knife.
Apple: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
How do you prevent a physics teacher from drowning? Shoot her before she touches the water.
What do you call Helen Keller after she killed 10 people?
Helen Killer.
Guns control.
When you're playing online with your friend, then you hear a kid scream: "No, Dad, please stop!" Scream ends with a gunshot.
Suicide bombers, carry bombs and remember to breathe.