Lady

Lady jokes

Boy

    • This ole boy that's locked up called his ole lady and got into it with her, and she said, "Well, fuck you, I don't need you no more anyway. I got 2 or 3 guys out here wanting me and trying to fuck me."

    He said, "Well, honey, that's the least of my worries. I got 10 or 12 guys in here tryin' to fuck me."

    Man

    • I need a lovely lady to spoil. I have a big dick and a very clean house. Add me now.

    Snapchat: @colin_green21

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    • Lady memes

    Vaccine

    • I just got my COVID vaccine, and this lady said, "You have no idea what you put in your body." I said, "Yet you are eating chorizo."

    Shit

    • One day, a lady and her husband were talking and it was time for dinner. He got up and sat at the dining room table, and the lady brought the plate of food in and she sat it down in front of him. "What's this?" he said. The lady said, "A piece of shit...honey! Want some water to drink?"

    Church

    • One Easter Sunday, a man goes to church and returns home with two black eyes.

    His wife inquires as to how he got the black eyes.

    The man goes on to say, “a lady stood up in front of me during mass, I saw her dress was stuck in her butt crack, so I reached out and tugged it out. She whirled around, became furious, and punched me in the eye.”

    “That explains one black eye,” the wife says, “but what about the other?” The man explains, “I figured she must have liked her dress stuck up in her butt crack, so when she turned around I stuffed it back up there.”

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    • Flasher

    • "Did you hear about the flasher who exposed himself to two elderly ladies in Central Park? One had a stroke. The other couldn’t quite reach."

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    • Man

    • A man walks into a forest and sees a girl crying. He asks her, "What is wrong?"

    She replies, "I lost my family, my friends, and my home."

    The man then unties his pants and says, "Then young lady, your day is about to get worse!"

    Twin

    • The way ladies cheat nowadays is very alarming.

    She might give birth to twins, but each twin having a different father. 😭

    Balance

    • So, I was at the gas station drinking a Slurpee when I heard an old lady start talking to me. She says, "Hey, can you check my balance?" so she could buy a chocolate bar.

    So, I pushed her over and said, "Not much."

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    • Duck

    • One day, a chicken went to the nail store. He asked the "owner" where the shampoo was. "BRO IM NOT THE FRIKKIN MANAGER!" the guy said. So the duck walked away.

    The next day he went back to the store and asked a pregnant lady why she was so fat. The lady punched him and ran away. The duck cried. Then he went to the lady's husband and said that he must be tired of being married since she punches people every day. The man punched him. The duck assumed they were the punching couple. The duck walked, and then fell in a ditch and stayed there to die. The pregnant lady and her husband were very pleased >:) muhahahahahahaha

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