What do you take care of after a car crash? The witnesses
Why are women like hurricanes?
They come in nasty and wet then leave with your house and car.
A missile hit a hospital earlier this morning fortunately no one was injured - but 100 were killed.
If you wont to get mental damage, visit the site:
https://schlechtewitze.com
A man walks into a rooftop bar and takes a seat next to another guy. “What are you drinking?” he asks the guy.
“Super Power Beer,” he says.
“Oh, yeah? I doubt it?”
Then he shows him: He swigs some beer, dives off the roof, and lands with no damage what so ever. He walks back into the bar.
“Amazing!” the man says. “Let me have some!” The man grabs the beer. He drinks it, jumps off the roof —and falls 15 stories to the ground. Splat. The barman says. “You know, you’re a real idiot when you’re drunk, Superman.”
A couple is sitting down, holding hands, and having a picnic after their wedding when the husband's friend walks over and says,
"Jenny and Jonathan sittin in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes marriage, the comes abrupt, tragic miscarriage! Then comes blame. Then comes despair, two hearts damaged, beyond repair. Johnathan leaves Jenny, and writes on the tree: D-I-V-O-R-C-E."
So this guy and his wife figure out that she has gotten pregnant. The baby is due March 31st. Well the guy is at work and he gets a call from his wife. She tells him she is going into labor. He rushes to pick her up, and once he is on the road he starts speeding. Eventually he hits another car and swerves off the road into a ditch. He wakes up in the hospital, looks around but doesn’t see his wife. He asks the doctor, is my wife okay, she was carrying my child. The doctor said the wife is fine and the baby is in good health. 10 seconds later he goes “APRIL FOOLS! Your wife is dead and your child has brain damage
Did you fall from heaven? Because you really did a damage on your face.
Today I got a lecture from my mother, and congratulated her. Why? Because she managed not to damage me in a physical fashion.
Why did sally fall of the swing-someone chucked a brick at her. Why did sally through a clock out the window-she had brain damage from the brick.
My (at the time) boyfriend told our chemistry teacher that blood is corrosive to steel.
Anyways, my sharpener isn’t working because the blade has been too badly damaged from something else...
god sent to the principles office for giving a blind kid sun glasses and said dont let the sun damage your eyes.
The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence
Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating."
The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.”
Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”
The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.”
Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him.
Johnny said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!”
The teacher sat down and cried.
Yesterday we lost a quarter of our roof in the storm, oof
me testing if there is fall damage in real life (falls of of a cliff uses water bucket trick ) dies
A Lew runs into a wall what does he break? His Nose
A Mexican runs into a wall what does he break? His lawn Mower
I once told an orphan to go big or go home, he replied I can't get home it got bombed
Apparently I'm not aloud home house fires, but the neighbours their house burnt lovely
How is a marriage like a hurricane?
In the beginning there’s a lot of sucking and blowing but at the end you lose your house
What's blue and bad for your teeth?
A green brick that's painted blue after the original paint dries (it takes a little while to dry) but after it dries you can paint it and then it will be green. If the brick is green it is called a green brick as it is green (not blue anymore) and it hurts your teeth because brick is a hard material that can damage the bones in your mouth (also known as your teeth)
