Violence jokes
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
It depends on how hard you throw them. 😈😈
Who wants to see me rape a toddler?
Are you a bullet? Because you go straight through my head.
It's okay, you had socks on :)
Q: What did I find on my son's search history?
A: Where is the nearest gun shop?
I would slap you, but that would be animal abuse.
How to kill a blind person.
Give them a gun and tell them it's a hairdryer.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how big they are and how hard you throw them.
When the school shooter gets killed and everyone is cheering, but you walk toward his gun; "I will finish what you started."
Someone at school judged my grammar.
I judged theirs by the terms "school" and "rifle range" being mixed up the next day.
A man goes to a motel room and sees a woman tied up and she said, "Help me please!" He had to do some forceful thinking.
Bullets.
My therapist told me that time heals all wounds. So I stabbed him, now we wait.
Bf: "Roses are red, violets are blue, you're my bf and I luv you."
Gf: "I luv u too."
Bf: "But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, I heard you were cheating, I'll knock off your head."
Gf: "Ah, about that..."
What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One smashes open when you hit it with a sledgehammer, and the other is a watermelon.
What's the only punch that can knock out a 21 year old?
A Sandy Hook.
The kid with a gun walked into my classroom and fucking shot the teacher.
He pointed the gun at me and asked, "What's 2+2?" I answer him and he writes the answer down on his test. He did this with every kid. He got a 100%, expelled, and a lifetime in prison. Hey, at least he gets free food.
It's impossible to rape a rapeist because rapeists want sex.
Did you hear about the bank robber?
Turns out he got shot by the police.
And he wound up in prison.
When the speedbump in a school zone screams, so you go faster.