Violence jokes
The hardest part of picking up a hitch hiker is tying them up.
My dad tells me and my sister to stop arguing, so she elbowed me in my damn nose.
What do you do to a pregnant lady on a step?
Push 'em.
My life is so meaningless that I committed a crime just to get shot. 0-0
This is not a joke; this is just about death...
How to be a hero.
1. Tie a noose in your front yard.
2. Find and capture a furry.
3. Hang that furry because they deserve it.
It’s easy as 1-2-3!
Did you hear about the midget who was beaten to death playing volleyball at a nudist colony?
Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.
Why did Joe get hit by a bus? Sally was driving it.
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!
OnlyFans, but it’s me smacking your baby daddies with Twisted Tea.
Only Cans.
Why'd my grandpa fall over?
'Cause I clapped his cheeks, fool!
Why can't you run with a pencil in the hallway? Because too many people got killed!
What do school shooting jokes and school shooting victims have in common? They never get old.
Science experts say when you get mad, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
How do you stop a school shooter from killing you?
Tell him you don’t believe in dog.
Girl, are you a public school? Because I want to shoot my kids inside you.
Here's a tip for cow tipping from TheRussianBadger.
"So if you see Otis from Barnyard, make sure you blast his ass from a distance!"
I slit my wrist and said, "THAT'S A LOT OF DAMAGE!" So I did it again, but with a knife and said, "NOW *THAT'S* A LOT OF DAMAGE!" I then put watertight Flex Seal on the wound, and it didn't seal.
Bro, I was told that "LMAO" meant launching missiles at orphanages. Well, I LMAOed. I don't think they are ever gonna see their parents again.
I was trying to tell some people here to stop, but then I found out that the S was covered in blood from me assaulting someone.
I was bullying a little kid for having a purple eye and said, "Where'd you get that? Your mom? Your dad?"
After that, everyone in my group was laughing at the kid. The next day I never saw him again.
When the guy came in with a gun to rob the store, I said: "Hey, can I borrow that?"
He says "yes." Me, over here, walking to the cashier and saying: "Goodbye!" He screams: "Have mercy!"
I say: "No, not to you, to me. Say goodbye." He says: "No, don't shoot yourself!" It was too late.