Violence jokes

Where did Sally go during the bombing?

Everywhere.

You find yourself stuck in a hole with a murderer, a rapist, and a lawyer. You're armed, but you only have 2 bullets left. What do you do?

Shoot the lawyer. Twice.

*School shooting happens* Foreign exchange student: *Sobbing under desk* American student: "First time?"

I'll never forget my grandma's last words, "What are you doing in here with that hammer?"

Why is it that when women decide to kill an unborn baby, it's a "CHOICE," but when I decide to drive my F-150 into a playground full of kids, it's called "MURDER"!

Roses are red, my name is Dan, I have a gun, GET IN THE VAN!

My favorite sex position is the JFK. I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car.