Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the cantaloupe 🍈 jump into the pool?
It wanted to become a watermelon 🍉.
How did Fortnite record their henchman sounds?
They asked a bunch of kids with Down syndrome to film a documentary.
Badass Toilet Paper Company: We don't take shit off of anyone.
You walk into a McDonald's and you ask for some extra mayo, and they put too much on there.
I say I didn't order a "McCumshot."
What do you call a dead pine tree? A Nevergreen!
My mind was blown when I saw all the people waving at me.
-JFK
Me: Have you ever tried African food?
You: No.
Me: They haven't either.
What war did Africa not win? The water fight.
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jill’s candy, but Jack got a shock and a mouth full of cock ‘cause Jill’s real name is Randy.
Yes, this joke is stolen.
I called the Chinese takeaway yesterday. A man picked up the phone and said: "Hello! I am Wan Kin, the chef." I said that I'll come back later.
My dad's the oldest, and when he was young, he shot my grandpa's balls off, but I thought about it. How does my dad have younger brothers?
What do apples and depressed kids have in common?
They both hang on trees.
What is an orphan's favorite quote in Star Wars?
"I am your father."
I hit a ball with a bat, it was called animal abuse.
"Why is it that orphans only play tennis?""That's the only love they can get..."
Women.
Little Johnny went to the doctor to get an infection checked on his penis. As the doctor examined it, he asked, "Lil Johnny how did you get an infection on your penis?" Johnny replied, "Well, the damn neighbor Sally's braces are too sharp."
Ninety percent of your beauty can be removed with a Kleenex.
Oh, were you talking to me? I thought you only talked behind my back.
Hold still, I am trying to imagine you with a personality.
One day Timmy walks in on his mum in the bath. Then he asks, “What’s that dark fuzzy thing, mummy?” and mum said, “It’s a bush, every girl has one!” Then the next day he walks in on his dad in the shower. So he asks, “Daddy, what’s that long thing?” The dad then says, “It’s a sexy boy” accidentally. Timmy asks his dad, “What does sexy mean?” And the dad says, “Your mother, of course,” making it seem like a child-friendly compliment. Then the next day at school Timmy wanted to compliment his teacher. He walks up to her and says, “You’re so so sexy!”
Did anyone get my joke? It probably flew over your heads, oops I meant through.