If you’re waiting for the waiter at a restaurant, aren’t you the waiter?
What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
Spareribs!
Jesus and his disciples walk into a restaurant.
Jesus: "A table for 26, please." Headwaiter: "But there's only... 13 of you?" Jesus: "Yeah, we're all going to sit on the same side."
What did the autistic kid order at a restaurant?
A disorder.
"Waiter, my steak is too skinny."
"It's a strip steak, sir."
"At these prices, it should not only strip, but sing and dance too!"
Boss: You're fired.
Me: *turns in my gun and my badge*
Boss: You're a waiter. Where did you get those?
"Oh, waiter! Waiter!"
"Yes, sir?"
"Do you have frog's legs?"
"Why, yes."
"Good. Now hop along and get me a steak!"
I took my girlfriend to a Chinese restaurant. One hour after ordering, I went to ask the chef what was going on. That was until I heard barking from the kitchen.
An old man walks to a busy restaurant. He tells the waiter what he wants and asks her, "Can I have a discount? I served in the war."
The waitress says, "Of course, and would you like that meal with sauce?"
"Nein," said the old man.
Me (an adult) with my girl going to a nice restaurant, I asked the waiter, "People under 12 eat free, right?" The waiter confirmed that yes, people under 12 eat free, then my girlfriend said, "But I'm 13."
Man: How do you prepare your chicken?
Waiter: Nothing special, we just tell them they’re going to die.
This bunny named Mason came up to a bar and ordered a beer and a burger. He sits at a table and the waiter brought a huge burger.
Mason: "Heh. Good thing I eat like a horse." He looks up at the waiter.
Waiter: "You are a nasty little bunny, aren't you?"
Mason screamed and ran away as the waiter chased him... she was a HORSE.
You are so fat that the waiter said to you every time: "Sorry for your weight" instead of "Sorry for the wait."
a man goes to a restaurant and asks for some chili the waiter said "sorry sir this is a Asian restaurant". So he stretches his eyes and says "oh herro can i get some chiri".
When ordering food at a new restaurant, my wife asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken.
“Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”
A burger walks into a bar and says, "Hi sir, can I have a glass of water?"
And the waiter says, "I'm sorry sir, we don't serve food here."
* Sans at Sans' favorite restaurant* Sans: Hey, Frisk, what do you eat today?
Frisk: One knife, plz.
Sans: Ok, one knife, plz.
Waiter: You eat a knife?
Frisk: Yes.
*Waiter asking for one knife*
Waiter: Here you go.
Frisk: Thanks you.
Waiter: "Here you go, one medium-rare steak."
Me: "I like it well done."
Waiter: "Thanks, that means a lot!"
Why did the duck not enjoy his restaurant date?
Because he didn't want to see the bill.
I went to a restaurant and a waiter took my order. She had two black eyes, so I ordered real slow.
Because obviously she doesn’t listen.
