Waiter Jokes

in Puns

If you’re waiting for the waiter at a restaurant, aren’t you the waiter?

“Oh waiter! Waiter!”

“Yes sir?”

“Do you have frog’s legs?”

“Why yes”

“Good. Now hop along and get me a steak!”

in Steak

“Waiter, my steak is too skinny.” “It’s a strip steak, sir.” “At these prices, it should not only strip, but sing and dance too!”

in Fat

You are so fat that the waiter said to you everytime: ‘sorry for your weight’ instead of ‘sorry for the wait’

NotAKiller AreYouACop?

Me (an adult) with my girl going to a nice restaurant I asked the waiter “People under 12 eat free right” the water confirmed that yes people under 12 eat free, then my girlfriend said, "but I’m 13.

David the asian man

An old man walks to a busy restaurant, he tells the waiter what he wants and asks her, ‘can I have a discount, I served in the war’ the waitress says ‘Of course, and would you like that meal with sauce?’ ‘Nein’ said the old man.


A couple enters a Chinese restaurant. Took their seats. The waiter asked ‘Xiang Chi Shen Ma’ and the wife said ‘Chi Ji Ba’


A burgur walks into a bar and says: “Hi sir can I have a glass of water?” And the waiter says: “I’m sorry sir we don’t serve food here,”


a man goes to a restaurant and asks for some chili the waiter said “sorry sir this is a Asian restaurant”. So he stretches his eyes and says “oh herro can i get some chiri”.

in Fat

fat man coming in the store waiter oh god not again :| fat man : hi i would like 3 fries and 19 burgers waiter : sorry sir you will get the owners store out of stock on food can i get you a salad instead? fat man : oh sorry but im the owner and i have alot of stocks the for he record you should get yourself a my order your skinny af gurl you trading to be a stick or something?

in Puns

Why is a waiter good at math?.. Because it he knows his TABLES .🤣🤣


Waiter: can I have your order? Me: no it’s mine!

in Restaurant

A guy walks into a restaurant and orders Turtle soup . The waiter hollers “One Turtle Soup”. A moment later the guy calls the waiter over and says, I’ve changed my mind , I would like Pea Soup The waiter hollers “ Hold The Turtle and Make It Pea “

the edgelord
in Puns

so a mushroom walks in a bar and the waiter says “you cant be here”

and the mushroom says “why i’m a Fungi”

in Girlfriend

A 7-foot-tall man walks into a restaurant with his 4-foot-tall girlfriend; and the maitre d’ says to the waiter, “He must be nuts over her.”

do u know me?

why are the ppl that get ur order at restaurants called waiters,they don’t wait for the food we wait for the food they should be called note take they take notes for food


the deaf man said to the waiter. mmmm the waiter said no english than the deaf man signed’ f u’

in Animal

Went to my local Indian restaurant asked the waiter for a chicken tarka Masala the waiter said what’s that I said it’s the same as a tikka just a little otter


What does a waiter in a Chinese restaurant call a customer that won’t leave a tip?? A"plick".

in Steak

The waiter asked me how would you like your steak? I replied “as soon possible” !!!

Stevie B #5
in Ranch

Waiter says “Sir we ran out of ranch, so I had the boys in the back improvise. But don’t worry… It has even more zip & twang to it”

in Restaurant

The waiter comes and asks you for the check. Instead I give him a 20 dollar bill and say “Boy you Can Keep It”

in Puns

The waiter recommended the rug meal. She said it was delicious, but it’s a tassle to make.

Anonymous A
in Puns

one day me and my friend Howard the duck went into the bar,I ordered a drink,Howard told the waiter to put it on his… BILL