Waiter Jokes

If you’re waiting for the waiter at a restaurant, aren’t you the waiter?

What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? SPARERIBS

Jesus and his disciples walk into a restaurant.

Jesus: "A table for 26, please." Headwaiter: "But there's only... 13 of you?" Jesus: "Yeah, we're all going to sit on the same side."

What did the autistic kid order at a restaurant?

A disorder

"Waiter, my steak is too skinny." "It's a strip steak, sir." "At these prices, it should not only strip, but sing and dance too!"

boss: you're fired

me: *turns in my gun and my badge*

boss: you're a waiter where did you get those

"Oh, waiter! Waiter!"

"Yes, sir?"

"Do you have frog's legs?"

"Why, yes."

"Good. Now hop along and get me a steak!"

I took my girlfriend to a Chinese Restaraunt. One hour after ordering, I went to ask the chef what is going on. That was until I heard barking from the kitchen.

An old man walks to a busy restaurant. He tells the waiter what he wants and asks her, "Can I have a discount, I served in the war?" The waitress says, "Of course, and would you like that meal with sauce?" "Nein," said the old man.

Me (an adult) with my girl going to a nice restaurant, I asked the waiter, "People under 12 eat free, right?" The waiter confirmed that yes, people under 12 eat free, then my girlfriend said, "But I'm 13."

Man: How do you prepare your chicken? Waiter: Nothing special, we just tell them they’re going to die.

This bunny named Mason came up to a bar and ordered a beer and a burger. he sits at a table and the waiter brought a huge burger. Mason: heh. good thing i eat like a horse. He looks up at the waiter. Waiter: you are a nasty little bunny, aren't you? Mason screamed and ran away as the waiter chased him.... she was a HORSE.

You are so fat that the waiter said to you everytime: 'sorry for your weight' instead of 'sorry for the wait'

a man goes to a restaurant and asks for some chili the waiter said "sorry sir this is a Asian restaurant". So he stretches his eyes and says "oh herro can i get some chiri".

When ordering food at a new restaurant, my wife asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken.“Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”