Worst Jokes Ever
A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on how to commit suicide.
The librarian says, “No, you won’t bring it back.”
Did you hear about the guy who died of a Viagra overdose?
They couldn’t close his casket.
My girlfriend called me a "pedophile", and I said, "That's a big word for a 5-year-old."
A beautiful woman is on the ledge of a bridge about to commit suicide.
A homeless man walks by her and says, "What are you doing?"
She says, "I'm going to jump!"
The homeless man says, "If you're going to kill yourself, do you wanna have sex with me first?"
The woman replies, "No way, creep! Never that!"
The homeless man doesn't seem bothered and says, "That's fine, I'll just wait 'til you're at the bottom."
What is Helen Keller's favorite color? Black.
"You the bomb!" No, "you the bomb!" A compliment in America, an argument in Afghanistan.
What makes sad people jump? A bridge.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she went trick or treating on Halloween 2016, the clowns thought she was their supreme leader.
Why are priests called father? Because it's too sus to call them daddy!
A necrophiliac woman goes over to her friend's house after hooking up.
"Was it hung?" her friend asks.
"No, he was shot."
A missile hit a hospital earlier this morning. Fortunately, no one was injured - but 100 were killed.
I told my new girlfriend that my mother is deaf.
So she would have to speak loudly and slowly.
I told my mother that my new girlfriend is disabled. Now we wait.
Carrie Underwood and ChatGPT are not the same. ChatGPT is able to create a soul.
what do you call a white person having a seizure?
a vanilla shake.
While undressing a woman, she told me she has AIDS. I told her she can't catch it twice, but she still kept screaming.
Why did the tamale go to the hospital?
Tamalito.
My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. I said, "No, wait! I can change."
What do you call disabled people that follow politics?
A special interest group.
What is Helen Keller's favorite color?
Velcro.
I hate child murderers, they're always so high-pitched.