Worst Jokes Ever
What's sad and has no life? The person reading this.
How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles?
You nail its other hand to the ground.
Why do Nazis not wear necklaces, rings, and bracelets? Because they hate jewelry.
What did the Asian parents say when they had a disabled kid?
Sum ting wong.
Me traveling back in time to tell Americans there will be a big tsunami on 9/11/2001, and to survive it they have to climb the two tallest buildings in New York.
What's the difference between necrophilia and a choking fetish? 15 seconds.
I was on the Oregon trail with my friend's brother, Carl. He got cholera, so we threw him off the wagon. When we came back, he was having a seizure and pooping uncontrollably. It was pretty cholerious.
Why can't you kill a depressed person?
Because they are already dead inside.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to take Snoop Dogg for a walk.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to put Vin Diesel in her gas tank.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to mop the floor with Taylor Swift.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to ring Kristen Bell.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to skim Dwayne Johnson across a lake.
When your girlfriend has an abortion, it's kinda like dodging your own bullets.
My mom said I need Jesus in my life, so I drunk up the holy water ;}
Joe mama is so fat, Dora can't explore her.
There was a plane crash. The pilot's names were Captain Sum Ting Wong, Wi Tu Lo, Ho Lee Fuk, and Bang Ding Ow.
What starts with “M” and ends with “arriage”?
Miscarriage.
I got introduced to a dwarf at a nudist colony the other day.
When we shook, the pleasure was all mine.
Yo mama so fat that she needs two watches for two different time zones.
What's your favorite color of the alphabet? True or false?
I entered 10 puns into a pun contest, hoping one would win, but no pun in ten did.
What do you call a whore with a runny nose?
...Full!
My wife and I watched The Perfect Murder together. Excellent movie, but what disturbed me though was my wife constantly taking notes.