Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

How many Microsoft programmers does it take to change a light bulb? - None, they declare darkness to be the new standard.

How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Infinite because feminists can't solve problems.

  • 8

    • Little Johnny and his teacher were telling each other jokes and riddles. His teacher asked, "Three birds were sitting on a wire, a hunter shot one. How many are left?" Little Johnny replied, "None, because the sound would scare the other two away." His teacher said, "No, but I like the way you think!"

    Little Johnny replied, "Alright, now I have one for you. What goes in dry and hard and comes out soft and hard?" His teacher was shocked and said, "Little Johnny!" He replied, "It's gum! But I like the way you think!"

  • 3

    • What's the difference between a white and a black fairytale? White begins with, "Once upon a time..." Black begins with, "Y'all motherf...s ain't gonna believe this sh.."

  • 2

    • What are some other names for rape? There’s the classic “struggle snuggle,” but then there’s my personal favorite “fuck fight”.

  • 5

    • I don't understand why people get offended by incest jokes; they're so family friendly.

  • 1

    • My grandpa told me I was too dependent on devices. I told him he was a hypocrite and unplugged him from his life support.

    I used to suffer from depression but through hard work, persistence, and never giving up..\n\nI now suffer from anxiety AND depression :\

    Friends: "You wanna hang with us?"

    Me: "No, I wanna hang myself."

    You learn from the best.

    I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday.

    He said it was the most violent book he’s ever read.

    My friend was feeling low today, so I went up to her and said, "You know, I would hang in there if I was you, swaying through life." I don't think she likes me now.

    What do a relationship and suicidal thought have in common? They’ll both end soon.