Worst Jokes Ever
On a scale of 1-10, how old was Michael Jackson’s last boyfriend?
What does a necrophiliac get at a wedding?
Mourning wood.
What was the last thing to go through the heads of the 9/11 jumpers?
Their ankles.
Why do Nazis not wear necklaces, rings, and bracelets? Because they hate jewelry.
Whenever you're mad, just punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
How do you give a redneck a circumcision? Kick his sister in the jaw.
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 is a registered 6 offender.
Are you a bowling ball? Because I want to stick 3 fingers in you.
So I didn't want my mom going through my laptop, so I put a touch screen on it where you just have to tap the screen to unlock it. Jokes on her, she doesn't have any fingers.
F is for friends who don't talk to you.
U is for Ur alone.
N is for never having any plans at all, all you do is sit at home.
Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys? He was playing by ear.
Why don't you ever see hippos hiding in trees? Because they are really good at it.
So we were working with a new client at work, and my boss farts. He said, "A little gas never killed anyone."
A depressed man buys a gun for suicide, but then thinks, "maybe I shouldn't be doing this," and asks a friend for help. He returns with a rope.
Question: Why did Donald Trump convert to Judaism?
Answer: Because he heard that Vladimir Putin likes to drink vodka with "Orange Jews"!
Me: Wanna hear a joke about my chin?
Friend: Nah, dude. It'll be too long.
Blue: The ocean is a place where the creatures live.
Black: NIGHTMARES LIVE!
Blue: It has many pretty things and it will-
Black: KILL YA TO DEATH! Especially if you are on Titanic! So let that sink in. PUN INTENDED!
I've been hit by several things in my life.
Sadly, never a car.
why are people in japan so slim? because the last time a fatman came, they lost half their population.
Things to kids:
Dragapult: "Ooh, look! Some ammo."
A Good Parent: "My baby!"
Michael Jackson: (HeeHee)