Worst Jokes Ever
What's a similarity between blondes and a vacuum cleaner?
You have to turn them on before they start to suck.
Bippity Boppity, I'm gonna shoot you off my property!
So, you're into pronouns? Let me she/them titties.
I dated a furry once.
The relationship didn't work out, she was a cheetah.
I was at the bar with a friend, and he said to me, "Veronica, I just stopped a rape." The bartender overheard him and had a puzzled look on his face, because he never moved. He then said, "I saw this girl walk into the bathroom, and I decided not to go."
What’s the best part about having sex with twenty-six year olds?
There’s twenty of them.
What talks high pitched and can't fly?
A gay man in Iran.
I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift, but I couldn't find a manual.
I woke up one night and it was really dark in my room. Then my TV started to float out the window. I said, "Drop it, nig-"
What's the difference between a dead baby and a sandwich?
I don't put my dick in a sandwich before I eat it.
Have you heard about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
What do you call a grown up with your sister? Your best friend.
What's got 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet?
The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marrahwanah.
Jack got high, slapped her thigh, and then they had some fun.
Jill forgot to take her pills, and now they have a son.
Next time I'm at a restaurant, and they ask what I want to drink, I'm going to say "bleach".
Why do orphans become hookers?
They can call someone daddy.
What do you call a Russian man with three balls?
'Whodya nikabollokov'
What's a furry's favorite news network?
Fox!
Little girls are like basic math. If they're under 13, you do them in your head.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.