Worst Jokes Ever
The doctor told me I had aids. I said, "It's your fault, sister."
Why can't Stephen Hawking be a Rocket League car? Because he can't jump for an aerial.
A man is with his friend in a bar.
The friend, out of the blue, asks, "Hey, what's your body count?"
Nervous, the man looks away.
The friend then says, "I'm talking about sex."
The man then turns back and mumbles, "Oh... I thought you saw inside the basement..."
"Wait, wha..."
"What?"
I told kids to make a family tree. God, I love working at the orphanages.
Yo mama is so ugly she's the reason why Batman fights crime at night.
While undressing a woman, she told me she has AIDS. I told her she can't catch it twice, but she still kept screaming.
Two fish are in a tank. One says, "You man the guns, I'll drive!"
Why can't college students take exams at the zoo?
Too many cheetahs!
I was gonna tell a dead baby joke, but I decided to abort.
Bro's hair looks like Buzz Lightyear, going to infinity and beyond!
Roses are red, that much is true. But violets are purple, not fucking blue.
Whenever you're mad, just punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What do a fisherman and a prostitute have in common?
They're both hookers.
What starts with M and ends with carriage?
This joke never gets old, but then again neither does the baby.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
What did Donald Trump serve to Justin Trudeau at a state dinner?
Poutine with Russian dressing!
Why do Nazis not wear necklaces, rings, and bracelets? Because they hate jewelry.
I ran over three disabled kids.
"Cripple kill."
A war isn’t about who is right, it’s about who is left!
Man to woman: "Would you sleep with me for one million dollars?"
Woman: "Sure."
Man: "How about for ten dollars?"
Woman: "What do you think I am?"
Man: "We’ve already established what you are. All we’re doing is negotiating price."