Worst Jokes Ever

Have you heard about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.

What's got 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet?

The finish line at the Boston Marathon.

Next time I'm at a restaurant, and they ask what I want to drink, I'm going to say "bleach".

What do you call a grown up with your sister? Your best friend.

What do you call a Russian man with three balls?

'Whodya nikabollokov'

Why do orphans become hookers?

They can call someone daddy.

What's a furry's favorite news network?

Fox!

Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.

Your forehead is so huge, you don't have dreams, you have movies. Follow me on Instagram: _zer0x3.

Down Syndrome is already a joke.

If gay means happy, then I am now straight.

What is Michael Jackson's favorite planet? Uranus.

Just because she weighed as much as two women... Doesn't mean you had a threesome.

Yo girl... do you like squirrels, because I'm about to nut in your hole.

I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes.

The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked away with her cardboard box.

What did the octopus say to the other? "Let’s hold hands by hands by hands by hands by hands by hands by hands by hands."

I asked my Dad the other day, "At what age is it okay to have sex with girls?"

He replied, "When they leave school, son, they are legal."

Apparently, 3:15 p.m. is not what he meant.

I’m a cashier at a grocery store, and when I’m bored, I draw on my hands with a pen. Well, this guy walks up to me and says, “You know, I got mental illnesses from drawing on myself.”

And so, without thinking, I said, “Well, I’ve already got those, so I think I’m fine...” 😳 He looked concerned. Oops lol.

I was going to make a pun about math, but my answers never add up.

If a school shooter walks into a classroom and shoots an autistic kid, what does the kid say? "Why do I look like Swiss cheese?"