Worst Jokes Ever

Little Johnny and his teacher were telling each other jokes and riddles. His teacher asked, "Three birds were sitting on a wire, a hunter shot one. How many are left?" Little Johnny replied, "None, because the sound would scare the other two away." His teacher said, "No, but I like the way you think!"

Little Johnny replied, "Alright, now I have one for you. What goes in dry and hard and comes out soft and hard?" His teacher was shocked and said, "Little Johnny!" He replied, "It's gum! But I like the way you think!"

I found out what DNA stands for. It's the National Dyslexic's Association.

What do you call a person with Down syndrome in a bathtub?

Vegetable soup.

What did Hitler get for his birthday?

A G.I. Jew and an Easy Bake Oven.

What’s the difference between dark jokes and cotton?

Some people don’t pick it.

Don't do suicide shit. Nearly killed me, tbh. 🙏🙏🙏🙏

My grandpa told me I was too dependent on devices. I told him he was a hypocrite and unplugged him from his life support.

What's the same with shoes and slaves?

When they get loose, you tie them up.

My mom wanted me to build her a shed for her useless things, then she told me to go live in it.

Why wasn't the infant's entire body found?

Because the limbs are scattered around 43°17.7355’N, 113°58.4205’W.

I'm still not sure how I'm not in jail or have been fined for littering. When I was born, I was born in a hospital trash can, therefore making me a literal piece of trash. That being said, any time I'm out in public, I'm a piece of litter.

Why don’t midgets fight? They walk away to be the bigger man.

I tried to come up with a funny pun about squirrels, but all my ideas were nuts.

Do you get jealous of your clothes when they hang from the line?

They always say you are what you eat! So I’d be nothing. That sounds about right.

Why was the orphan so successful? Because once someone told him "go big or go home," and he only had one option.

Stephen Hawking once stood up to bow down to Chuck Norris.

After a suicide joke say, "Don't leave me hanging, or I'll cut it out."

Guys, this is so wrong. I'm an orphan and this extremely offends me. I'm telling my parents, um.......

Friends: "You wanna hang with us?"

Me: "No, I wanna hang myself."

You learn from the best.