Worst Jokes Ever
What is an orphan's favorite quote in Star Wars?
"I am your father."
Where was Moses when the lights went out? - In the dark!
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter, he won't come anyway.
Have you ever walked past Steven Hawking's house?
No, neither has he.
Why does Bill Clinton wear boxers? -- To keep his ankles warm.
How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles?
You nail its other hand to the ground.
So, is a homosexual in a coma a fruit or a vegetable?
When your girlfriend has an abortion, it's kinda like dodging your own bullets.
I got introduced to a dwarf at a nudist colony the other day.
When we shook, the pleasure was all mine.
My doctor said I only have 1 year to live, so I killed him. Got sentenced to life in prison, problem solved!
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to take Snoop Dogg for a walk.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to put Vin Diesel in her gas tank.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to mop the floor with Taylor Swift.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to ring Kristen Bell.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to skim Dwayne Johnson across a lake.
What do you call a bunch of Paki's jumping off a cliff?
Chocolate drops.
My mom said I need Jesus in my life, so I drunk up the holy water ;}
Joe mama is so fat, Dora can't explore her.
What starts with “M” and ends with “arriage”?
Miscarriage.
I was on the Oregon trail with my friend's brother, Carl. He got cholera, so we threw him off the wagon. When we came back, he was having a seizure and pooping uncontrollably. It was pretty cholerious.
Why can't you kill a depressed person?
Because they are already dead inside.
Sometimes, stairs get me down.
I entered 10 puns into a pun contest, hoping one would win, but no pun in ten did.
What do you call a whore with a runny nose?
...Full!