When we take a family photo, you are the background.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find Homeplate.
ISIS recently brought out their own shampoo: HEAD AND SOLDIERS.
Your hairline is so far gone that you could build a runway.
What do you call a Greek necrophiliac?
Con Fuckacarcass.
Your hairline is so far back that it looks like Putin's tanks steamrolled through.
How to escape your black school teacher in detention?
(Easy)
Turn off the lights!
I don't like them white, pale, always talking about death EMO kids!
Sorry, I meant CHEMO kids.
Q. What do you call a biracial kid in a vegetative state?
A. A mixed vegetable.
Q. What do you call a rich person who is in a vegetative state?
A. A loaded potato.
Yo momma's so fat, her shirt size has more X's than Taylor Swift.
What shows do orphans dream of?
Full House or Fuller House.
If your parachute fails midair, remember, you have the rest of your life to fix it.
If a man and a woman need a marriage license to get married, does a lesbian couple need a liquor license to get married?
Why did Santa stop at three ho's?
Ms. Claus caught him.
Go to soyjak.party for the funniest memes and soyjaks.
I was going to make a bulimia joke, but suddenly it just felt so empty.
Tonight, I picked up an anorexic prostitute.
It was really easy because she was only about 90 pounds.
109 countries can't be wrong. Watch Europa: The Last Battle.
Obese is the N-word for fat people.
