Worst Jokes Ever
Jeffrey Epstein was a disgusting person, but he could tie a good hangman's knot.
If a skinny person wants to gain weight, does that make them a trans fat?
Why did the cow want to cross the road?
To watch a mooooovie!!
Michael J. Fox's wife doesn't need a vibrator; she has her husband.
Slept in my Little Shop of Horrors T-shirt, woke up and could suddenly see more.
All those people who are called Garry are gay And all of Belgium is very happy about it
I talk with a friend about something and there comes Quandangle, things with his shoes, and I'm just like, "Bro, what the heeeeel?"
I go in the duck park, I make it myself there cozy with Rayman and fruit dwarves.
Why should you lose your virginity to an autistic person?
Because virginity needs to be lost with someone special.
Your mama's so crazy, she cooks her chicken drumsticks in raspberries and milk.
Your mama's so crazy, she thought Mike Tyson had some boots and cats up his sleeve.
Slept in my Rocky Horror T-shirt, woke up and seen blue skies through the tears in my eyes.
Why do Chinese people need glasses to see better?
All they need to do is open their eyes.
Why do dictators always eat without leaving anything on the plate?
Because they can't leave a piece (peace).
Why is Ireland so gay?
Because the Brits stole all their women.
What are the first four letters of the alphabet?
Mum: (noticing the child's hair is too long) "You need a haircut."
Brother: (winning a game on PlayStation) "Yes! Get in!"
Uncle: (making plans) "We're gonna go and see The Bodyguard."
Aunt: (singing a song from the show after overhearing the conversation) "I have nothing, nothing, nothing... if I don't have you."
Next day...
Student: I know the alphabet.
Teacher: OK, go on.
Student: "You need a haircut."
Teacher: How dare you make comments like this! Do you want to go to the headteacher?
Student: "Yes! Get in!"
Teacher: What do you think you're going to be doing?
Student: "We're gonna go and see The Bodyguard."
*In headteacher's office*
Headteacher: Now, I hear you were very rude to the literacy teacher earlier. What do you have to say for yourself?
Student: "I have nothing, nothing, nothing... if I don't have you."
All these Avengers and you're still marvellous.
A Liverpool fan walks into a bar and holds onto the furniture because they feel unsteady...
"You'll never walk alone!"
All these showstoppers and technical challenges and I still can't get your signature.
All these bows and arrows and I'd still give more of Jeremy Renner's work a shot.