Worst Jokes Ever
Why are the Twin Towers afraid of hot tubs?
Because of the jets.
Q. What do you call a hooker in a vegetative state? A. A thot incapable of thought.
Remember: Alcohol doesn't solve your problems, but neither does milk or water.
What do you call autistic people with guns? Special forces.
Why do vegans hate sex?
They don't want to say they had a meat in 'em.
What do peanut butter and a prostitute's legs have in common?
They’re both easy to spread.
What do you call a lesbian with fat fingers? Well hung.
What kind of paper towel do they use in special education classrooms?
Downey.
What do teenage girls and happy meals have in common?
They both come with a toy.
What’s the difference between masturbation and brain damage?
After a few strokes, there’s no going back.
What’s the difference between a gay rooster and a straight rooster?
A straight rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-do!"
A gay rooster says, "Any cock will do!"
US Marine: Knock Knock!
Al Qaeda fighter: Who's there?
US Marine: (Kicks down door, throws grenade, opens fire) FREEDOM, MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!!
Kim Jong Il: Knock knock
Political Prisoner: Who's there?
Kim Jong Il: Boo
Political Prisoner: Boo who?
Kim Jong Il: Boo hoo? Don't cry just because I executed your wife and enslaved your children. You at least get to eat today, my friend.
What does a rubix cube and a dick have in common?
The more you play with them the harder they get.
Why do lesbians have the highest rate of domestic violence?
Because women are emotional and full of drama.
What do Somalians excel at in the United States?
Welfare Fraud
Why does the Marine Corps have the best uniforms?
Because the Navy wants their bitches to look nice.
What does Marine stand for?
My Ass Rides In Navy Equipment
What does Marine stand for?
Muscles Are Required Intelligence Not Expected
What does Army stand for?
Ain't Ready to be a Marine Yet.