Worst Jokes Ever

I feel sorry that your hairline deployed from war with your forehead.

What do a track meet and a frat house have in common?

They both have something getting ran through by eight men while it just sits there.

I hear scientists have been experimenting with a new diet at Cornell University: just straight meat for 7 hours a night, all night long, with a side of alcohol to keep the shop open.

I hear Cornell produces very dedicated farmers; they’ll plow a field all night long no matter how much resistance she gives ’em.

What’s the difference between Jane Doe and a roller coaster?

You can ride both on Ketamine, but only one will get you on the news.

TODAY'S BRAIN CELL COUNT:

2, and both are competing for 5th place.

OKAYYYY guys, today we're going to make DIY bath bombs. I bet y'all already have the first ingredient right here in your kitchen:

*looks at toaster*

That last brain cell must've been your dad, because it left without you knowing.

My field trip at school earlier:

Little Timmy (angrily): "I WANT MY IPAD!"

Ms. Melina: "We can have it at school if you turn your day around."

Little Timmy: "BUT I WANT IT RIGHT F**KING NOW!"

Ms. Melina: "But we're heading back to school."

Little Timmy: "B**TCH, I HATE SCHOOL! I’M GOING HOME!"

Little Timmy *starts banging the bus window*

Little Timmy: "THAT’S IT, I F**KING HATE SCHOOL! I’M GOING TO CANADA!"

Ms. Melina: "TIMMY, STOP IT! THE SCHOOL IS GONNA MAKE YOU PAY FOR THAT WINDOW IF YOU BREAK IT!"

Me: "Let’s just tell his family to move to Shadow Bay anyways because Red Oaks would be so f**king good for him."

*Window breaks*

Ms. Melina: "STOP THAT RIGHT F**KING NOW!"

Little Timmy: "BUT JEFFY AND JUNIOR ARE PICKING ME UP AND TAKING ME TO F**KING CANADA RIGHT NOW! LEAVE ME THE F**K ALONE!"

Ms. Melina: "THAT’S IT TIMMY, YOU'RE SO F**KING BUSTED! I’M CALLING MS. ALEJANDRA RIGHT NOW!"

The end.

Autistic students are the best, hands down!

People think I'm racist but I'm really not.

I hate everyone equally.

Someone who spends three days in Jara Hotel is as calm as an empty apartment. But I think it hurts. The room is not good. The bathroom is very safe. It might be fun for hours, but it's still good. The bathroom is a child's room, so it is impossible to convert it into a child's room.

The booth I bought was great and perfect for the Weimar location. I really like this breakfast, it doesn't seem too rich or complicated. To be clear, but the first day is different kind of bread I give at a small but beautiful point.

I was also overprotected, this is true, as I had seen other visitors on the day of arrival. Service wars are always big. Greetings from RL-Pfalz. Small hotels are difficult.

Decent sausages, average price, good car and seats... nothing.

Did you just kill the last brain cell you have? Or are you just plain stupid?

What do dogs and lesbian women have in common?

They're both lickers and called a bitch.

Dogs are better relationship partners than you. Wanna know why? They're loyal, patient, love unconditionally, smart. Traits you clearly lack, you cheating ass bitch.

I'd rather kiss a cactus than kiss you. Wanna know why?

Because at least I'd feel something with the cactus than I ever could with you.

You're so ugly that you make Caitlyn Jenner cry.

Your sense of humor is like being a short bus kid: it's retarded.

Your face is so greasy that the USA is gonna invade you!