Worst Jokes Ever

Don't drop the soup.

What's the difference between Jane Doe and a field?

A field gets harvested in the fall, while Jane Doe gets plowed.

I was tickling my son’s feet yesterday, and my wife said, "Wait until he’s born."

My friend is a proud liberal, and she is about open minds, but she hates white men unless they’re gay and black men unless they’re conservatives. She hated slavery, but she’s for the party for keeping it.

What're the only things that never come out of a Chi Phi frat house?

A virgin and unsnorted ketamine.

What has two wings and an arrow?

A Chinese telephone: "Wing wing, arrow!"

Cornell has announced that they will be banning frat parties in the wake of the "Cornell 7" case. With this new policy, students will be forced to conduct all ketamine-fueled orgies in their dorms, which may limit these activities to just 6 men each.

Students across America have been spotted playing a parody of the horror game Five Nights at Freddy’s called “7 Hours at Chi Phi”.

Wanna know why your pussy reminds me of a garbage bag?

Because you fill it, stretch it out, and let it stink for weeks.

Why can't gay men be handymen?

Because they'll be caulk fighting on the job.

Now that I think about it, Jane Doe's story actually makes complete sense. If I were dumb enough to show up blackout drunk for a threesome at a frat party, it'd probably also take me 20 days of regret to realize that being raped is a way better look than a gang-bang straight off of Pornhub.

What do Jane Doe and a cheap discount store have in common?

When the shop's open late, inventory management shuts down, but we all know there's probably some sausages in there.

What do women and wine bottles have in common?

They both have a hole you can plug and unplug.

New degree plans announced by Cornell University:

- Frat Studies, includes classes in acquiring ketamine and arranging threesomes with your homeboy and some random girl.

- Sorority Studies, includes classes in oral sex, binge drinking, and bullshitting after the fact.

- Consent Theory, teaches the new generation that "Yes" means "No" and your problems can all be solved by regretting your own poor decision-making (the shop's still open btw).

Yo mama so fat, when she is on her period, she floods the entire town with her blood.

I got my math test back today. I am Asian and raised in an Asian household, so I was worried about what I was going to get.

I got a 95%.

I'm having warm dinner tonight!

P.S. True story, lol.

My sister was getting something from the basement, and seeing rats, she said: "Rats are so disgusting and ugly."

I turned to her, "Sis, self-hate is not okay."

What do you get when you add one whole and one whole?

Two holes, dummy!

I feel sorry that your hairline deployed from war with your forehead.

What do a track meet and a frat house have in common?

They both have something getting ran through by eight men while it just sits there.