Worst Jokes Ever
A blonde woman with a coach ticket sits in first class on a flight to South America.
A flight attendant asks her to move, but she replies, "I'm blonde and beautiful, and I'm staying here!" The flight attendant tells the pilot, who also tries to move her, but she gives the same answer.
Finally, the co-pilot says, "I've got this, I speak blonde." He whispers in her ear, and she immediately gets up and moves to coach. The others ask what he said. He replies, "I told her first class isn't going to South America."
A Swiss, a Japanese, and a Chinese... they are me, they are Weidi Weidi? Don't make it! The Chinese are not! The Swiss man throws his watch, drinks a focus detector in 5 liters. First to arrive, he drinks uga's seenzal KEEN FINEZ Mans GANKG DAY UNF.
Below, to be noted, question: "How do DESCEL DESCELL????" Quite simply: "We Swiss Habin Eben."
A German, a Japanese, and a Chinese person meet for a diving competition.
The German can stay underwater for 3 minutes, the Japanese for 30 minutes, and the Chinese for 3 years. The German and the Japanese return first. Finally, the Chinese person comes back up. The Chinese person says: "De chinai gar ne dum, de yo bot rum farin antin met dam!"
Eskimos are fishing in their igloos. Winter is just around the corner. An Eskimo asks: "Who's bothering me now?"
When he opened the door, he saw the Creator. The Creator said: "Give me your way, I've been hungry lately."
"No, my fish is my fish," the Eskimo replied. "Yes!"
The Eskimo picks up a stone and throws it, then continues looking for fish. After Summer, Hunter, and Winter pass, the Eskimo asks: "Who is interrupting me now?" He opens the door and there is a bag in front of him. He asks, "Why?"
What’s the difference between a woman and a mosquito?
A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it.
Children are like pills.
The smaller they are, the easier they are to take.
Why do Chinese people never play baseball?
Because they always eat the bat.
What do you call a closet with two lesbians inside?
A liquor cabinet.
What do you call a terrorist in a bath?
A bath bomb.
Why were the Twin Towers mad during 9/11?
They ordered pepperoni pizza, but instead got plane.
What's the difference between a boomerang and a Black father?
A boomerang comes back.
My girlfriend called me a pedophile.
And I said, "That's a big word for a 5-year-old!"
Where do short people disappear on the first of December?
Santa's Workshop.
Why don't terrorists like Walmart?
They prefer a Target.
Why is America so bad at playing chess?
They lost two towers.
Why can't Stephen Hawking win any arguments?
Because he can't stand up for himself.
I watched an episode of Law & Order Special Victims Unit. It turns out it's about rape. I thought it was going to be about crimes on a short bus or something.
What's an emo's favorite type of necklace? The kind that attaches to a ceiling beam.
President Chumples memorialised Charlie Kirk by saying, "He had a real shot at being president."
That's not a joke. The fat fuck actually said that after pan face got shot.
What Disney movie does the church make little girls watch?
Snow White and the Seven Deadly Sins.