Worst Jokes Ever
If a deaf person is missing fingers, is it a speech impediment or an accent?
Chuck Norris drove his parents to school.
Chuck Norris once won a race against Usain Bolt, running in the opposite direction around the track, blindfolded, on one foot.
What would you call a Spanish Notch?
El Notch-o.
What would you call a cat royal’s descendants?
A feline.
What does a Foreigner say when he comes to America?
"You're as cold as I.C.E. You're willing to sacrifice brown lives..."
I told my lesbian friends, "I wanna watch," so they bought me a Timex®.
It takes a licking and keeps on ticking.
What's the worst thing to say at a live birth?
"Hi guys, welcome to my unboxing video!"
My mom told me that her doctor told her personally that she had to keep herself isolated because she has a few new symptoms that are going around, and those symptoms are that she has big titties, a sweet pussy, and a great ass.
Why doesn’t Jesus trust humanity anymore?
Because he doesn’t wanna get double-crossed.
Why did the priest invent baptism?
To wash their sex toys.
What makes 2024 a terrifying year?
Pianos playing ragtime music keep falling out of the sky!
Who was in a creepy cult?
Best. Buy. Nights!
How does Shadow the Hedgehog make fruit punch?
He punches Sonic in the face for being fruity, knocking him unconscious!
Honorable mention, who lived and died this way as a checkout girl?
Luke Combs!
Why did Bill throw up?
He ate too many Big City Greens.
What's round, ticklish, and drove a fast car?
Hee hee, yee yee, hee-haw, hee!
I'm racist.
I don't like green cars.
What is a dog's favorite music?
Pup rock
Every one is talking about glory holes, so I decided to look into one.
I was doing renovations on a house and found a wall with a glory hole. I was going to remodel it, but it's load bearing. I asked a gay carpenter how to fix this, and he advised that I check out the studs first to make sure they were uncut.
Eventually, I gave up and just put my nuts through the hole. Now they're walnuts.