Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

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You have no heart! CG. Yeah, yeah, nah.

Balenciagas, yeah, I don't gotta tie 'em. It's a party, man, you're not invited. Smoking this gas, got me flying. She told me that I'm perfect timing. I'm like, "Baby, why you lying?" I can't trust nobody else, that's why I always just keep to myself. I walk in the spot, they're like, "You are the man." Your shawty wants me; that bitch is a fan. She told me that she doesn't got a man. I don't even care; I focus on bands. I'm with Rio, yeah, we're heaven-sent. 27, yeah, we're making bands. Off the pixie dust, like Peter Pan. Shawty hits my phone when she lands.

Y-ah (Ay). Girl, what you see in me? Smoking this reefer, I'm making this greenery. Fucking your bitch, and she says that she's needing me. Don't wanna talk, let's just skip all that speaking, please. She's seen I'm running my bread, getting money. Hurting your feelings? Go cry to your mommy. Designer your outfit, but making no money. Said I'd fall off, but I'm up now, that's funny. Manipulate women 'cause bitches are so dummy. Shawty's so mad, and she says that I'm mean. Walk with a limp, yeah, I carry a beam. Talk all that shit, but you hide through a screen. You don't know. You don't know. You don't know. You don't know, okay.

I'm making money; your bitch is acting funny when she gets around me 'cause I got the cash. You said that you're from the hood, but you are from the suburbs. You already know that's cap. I was down bad for a minute, but now I'm going up and never coming in last. I'm in an SRT, yeah, I'm switching these lanes; you can never go too fast.

Balenciagas, yeah, I don't gotta tie 'em. It's a party, man, you're not invited. Smoking this gas, got me flying. She told me that I'm perfect timing. I'm like, "Baby, why you lying?" I can't trust nobody else, that's why I always just keep to myself. I walk in the spot, they're like, "You are the man." Your shawty wants me; that bitch is a fan. She told me that she doesn't got a man. I don't even care; I focus on bands. I'm with Rio, yeah, we're heaven-sent. 27, yeah, we're making bands. Off the pixie dust, like Peter Pan. Shawty hits my phone when she lands.

Two trailer park girls go 'round the outside; 'round the outside, 'round the outside.

Two trailer park girls go 'round the outside; 'round the outside, 'round the outside.

Guess who's back? Back again. Shady's back. Tell a friend. Guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back...

I've created a monster, 'cause nobody wants to see Marshall no more. They want Shady, I'm chopped liver. Well, if you want Shady, this is what I'll give ya: A little bit of weed mixed with some hard liquor. Some vodka that'll jump-start my heart quicker than a shock when I get shocked at the hospital by the doctor when I'm not cooperating, when I'm rocking the table while he's operating (hey!!). You waited this long, now stop debating, 'cause I'm back, I'm on the rag and ovulating. I know that you got a job, Ms. Cheney, but your husband's heart problem's complicating. So the FCC won't let me be, or let me be me, so let me see. They try to shut me down on MTV, but it feels so empty without me. So, come on and dip, rum on your lips. Fuck that, cum on your lips, and some on your tits. And get ready, 'cause this shit's about to get heavy. I just settled all my lawsuits. FUCK YOU, DEBBIE!

Now this looks like a job for me. So everybody, just follow me. 'Cause we need a little controversy, 'cause it feels so empty without me. I said this looks like a job for me. So everybody, just follow me. 'Cause we need a little controversy, 'cause it feels so empty without me.

Little hellions, kids feeling rebellious, embarrassed their parents still listen to Elvis. They start feeling like prisoners, helpless, 'til someone comes along on a mission and yells, "BITCH!!!"

A visionary, a vision of scary, could start a revolution, polluting the airwaves. A rebel, so just let me revel and bask in the fact that I got everyone kissing my ass. And it's a disaster, such a catastrophe for you to see so damn much of my ass. You asked for me? Well, I'm back, na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na. Fix your damn antenna, tune it in, and then I'm gonna enter in, in the front of your skin, like a splinter. The center of attention, back for the winter. I'm interesting, the best thing since wrestling. Investing in your kids' ears and nesting. Testing, attention, please. Feel the tension, as soon as someone mentions me. Here's my ten cents; my two cents is free. A nuisance. Who sent? You sent for me?

Now this looks like a job for me. So everybody, just follow me. 'Cause we need a little controversy, 'cause it feels so empty without me. I said this looks like a job for me. So everybody, just follow me. 'Cause we need a little controversy, 'cause it feels so empty without me.

A-tisket, a-tasket, I go tit for tat with anybody who's talking this shit, that shit. Chris Kirkpatrick, you can get your ass kicked worse than them little Limp Bizkit bastards. And Moby? You can get stomped by Obie. You thirty-six-year-old bald-headed fag, blow me. You don't know me, you're too old. Let go. It's over; nobody listens to techno. Now let's go; just give me the signal. I'll be there with a whole list full of new insults. I've been dope, suspenseful with a pencil, ever since Prince turned himself into a symbol. But sometimes the shit just seems everybody only wants to discuss me. So this must mean I'm disgusting. But it's just me; I'm just obscene. No, I'm not the first king of controversy. I am the worst thing since Elvis Presley to do black music so selfishly and used it to get myself wealthy. (Hey!!) There's a concept that works. Twenty million other white rappers emerge, but no matter how many fish in the sea, it'll be so empty without me.

Now this looks like a job for me. So everybody, just follow me. 'Cause we need a little controversy, 'cause it feels so empty without me. I said this looks like a job for me. So everybody, just follow me. 'Cause we need a little controversy, 'cause it feels so empty without me.

"Chem-hie-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la La-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la."

Kids!

Dishwasher

She said she wanted me to treat her like a dishwasher. So I loaded her up, ran her through a rough cycle, and left her wet and broken on the floor.

I'm new here. I'm 17, almost 18. I love to party, dance, and meet new friends.

What disease do you get from shoving a dirty, rusty piece of metal up your ass? Tetanus.

Why do old people swallow popcorn kernels?

To make their cremation more entertaining when they die.