Worst Jokes Ever
If you are reading this, it is already too late to ignore. You have been chosen by the Unseen Guest.
My name is Kaeleen, and I am the last person who held this message and failed to pass it on. I am writing this from a place where there is no light. It started with a whisper in the corner of my ceiling, then a scratching sound under my floorboards. I thought it was just the house settling. I was wrong.
This isn't a joke. This is a digital tether. By reading these words, you have acknowledged the Guest. It is now aware of your location. It knows the exact layout of your home. It knows which door in your hallway doesn't quite lock properly.
THE RULES: You have exactly 27 minutes from the moment you finished the first paragraph to relocate this message. You must copy and paste this entire text into 10 different comment sections, forums, or group chats.
WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU SUCCEED: If you share this, the tether is severed. The Guest will move on to the next person who opens the link. You will feel a sudden chill leave your room, and for the next 7 days, you will experience a streak of unexplained good luck.
WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU FAIL: At AM: You will hear a single, heavy knock on your bedroom door. Do not answer it.
At AM: You will feel the edge of your mattress dip, as if someone—or something—has sat down right behind you. Do not turn around.
At AM: The Guest will whisper your name. If you hear it, it’s over.
What do you call a dancing chair?
Ring around a Rosie.
What do you call a disabled man with a gun?
"Special forces."
Today a canvasser came to my door asking if I wanted to make a donation to protect women in the Congo.
I told her no.
The canvasser got a little upset with me and said, "Don't you know that the Congo is the rape capital of the world?"
"Then they should be used to it by now," I replied.
What's Dr. Phil's least favorite music genre?
Emo.
Roses are red, violets are blue.
If you are a female pedo, I am looking for you.
And if you want, I'll give you my wand.
Where was Emily during the bombing?
Everywhere.
Why did little Jonny drop his ice cream?
He was hit by a bus.
What do you call a puffer fish? A fish!
Pee-wee Herman was in the army... until he got a dishonorable discharge!
What's big, black, and lights up when you touch it?
A phone.
What do you call a stupid bear?
The bear that's gonna give this an explanation, and he's dumb.
What do you call a donkey with no feet?
A horse.
What's a Jew's favorite drink?
Mountain Jew.
What do you call bees that produce milk?
Boo-bees!
Why did the chicken cross the road, when it should stay on a farm?
What do Lindsay Clancy and Jane Doe have in common?
Neither could walk after what they did.
What’s the difference between Jane Doe and a train tunnel?
A train tunnel doesn’t get any wider when you rail it.
Did you hear about the midget astronaut?
He landed on Pluto.
Today I went into the library looking for books on gangstalking. The librarian leaned over the circulation desk and said, "They're right behind you."