Worst Jokes Ever
Your forehead’s so big it got sponsored by GAP.
If your wife has boxes and boxes ending up at your front door from her online shopping habit, tell her that you’ve only had one box through the marriage and that she should be happy.
What do you call a fight at a dementia unit?
A Sundown Smackdown.
What’s the difference between a woman and a mosquito?
A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it.
Children are like pills.
The smaller they are, the easier they are to take.
Why do Chinese people never play baseball?
Because they always eat the bat.
What do you call a closet with two lesbians inside?
A liquor cabinet.
What do you call a terrorist in a bath?
A bath bomb.
Why were the Twin Towers mad during 9/11?
They ordered pepperoni pizza, but instead got plane.
What's the difference between a boomerang and a Black father?
A boomerang comes back.
My girlfriend called me a pedophile.
And I said, "That's a big word for a 5-year-old!"
Where do short people disappear on the first of December?
Santa's Workshop.
Why don't terrorists like Walmart?
They prefer a Target.
Why is America so bad at playing chess?
They lost two towers.
Why can't Stephen Hawking win any arguments?
Because he can't stand up for himself.
I watched an episode of Law & Order Special Victims Unit. It turns out it's about rape. I thought it was going to be about crimes on a short bus or something.
What's an emo's favorite type of necklace? The kind that attaches to a ceiling beam.
President Chumples memorialised Charlie Kirk by saying, "He had a real shot at being president."
That's not a joke. The fat fuck actually said that after pan face got shot.
What Disney movie does the church make little girls watch?
Snow White and the Seven Deadly Sins.
What is the definition of suspicion? A: A nun doing squats in a cucumber field.