Worst Jokes Ever
Why are American pilots better than Russian pilots?
Because they sure as hell don't drink on the job.
You remind me of a crispy KFC bucket.
Why?
Because you're always finger lickin' good!
Do you go to the gym? Because I sure could use a workout session with you tonight.
Can I be your tripod? Because I want to take a good look at you from all angles.
What do you call a mean cow?
Beef jerky.
Why did the heart go to jail? Because it had a cardiac arrest.
What do you call a blowjob that is given to a gay black male who has a big black cock by a homophobic heterosexual white male who is also a racist?
A brojob.
What do the initials NAACP stand for? National Association For The Advancement Of Colored Pedophiles.
Can I be the hammer to your nail? Just so I can pound you down to my wood?
Everyone has depression on SOME level, even our cells do apoptosis!
Btw: apoptosis is basically when a cell kills itself :)
What's an emo's favourite historical period?
The Great Depression.
What's the difference between me and Elliot Yamin?
I will not be waiting for you.
Are you a cardiologist? My heart is missing, can I have yours instead?
Excuse me, are you a chiropractor? Because I want to take a crack at taking you out to dinner.
They shouldn't have released the final seconds of the N722BD crash audio, it was like giving free porn to rapists.
Look on the bright side, women: nothing says you're beautiful like being raped by a complete stranger.
Timmy, Timmy, Timmy, Timmy, Timmy, Timmy?
TIMMY!
What is black on top and white on the bottom?
Rape.
Wanna hear a joke? School shootings.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? Because they don’t have a home to run to.