Worst Jokes Ever
Why was 10 so scared?
He was in the middle of 9/11.
What’s the best thing about dating an orphan?
You don’t need parental consent.
“Wanna smoke, kids?” is an offer to do drugs.
“Wanna smoke kids?” is an offer to kill.
What's funny is that I am typing this in the middle of a document... WAIT JENGA!!!!!!!
Why does the Democratic party want the Republican party to breed rabbits?
Because Democrats are tired of paying for raisins at the grocery store.
During the Wintery Wackiness Wars!
A Soviet Sergeant, stationed stilly near a sloped summit with his silly soldiers!
Then a shout sails from the tippy-top: "A Finnish fighter's fantastic force fractures a hundred heroic Honchos!"
The Kommandant's kerfuffle commences, commanding a caravan of one hundred comrades to conquer the crest!
Nifty navigation notes nil, the nasty news nabs many! After an Hour, hush descends. The high voice hollers, "A Finnish fighter's fantastic force fractures a thousand heroic Honchos!"
Kommander fumes, forcing a further flurry, flinging one thousand fine fellows skyward!
Nearly two hours now and the noisy nuisance ceases, then the shouting starts: "A Finnish fighter's fantastic force fractures ten thousand heroic Honchos!"
The Kommandant kaput! Ten thousand troopers take the trek, taking tanks, trundling skyward, to take the terrain!
Four fearsome, fretful hours then a soldier in tatters comes tumbling, talking: "Stop sending up soldiers, sir! There's two Finns fighting fiercely!"
A young man was crossing the road when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I will turn into a beautiful princess." The man took the frog, smiled at it, and put it in his wallet.
The frog called out again, "If you kiss me and I turn into a princess, I will live with you for a week and do everything you want." The young man took the frog out, smiled, and put it back.
Then the frog called out, "Okay, okay! I will be with you and do whatever you want forever!" The young man laughed and put it back in his wallet.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is wrong with you? I'm offering to be a beautiful princess! Why won't you kiss me?"
The young man said, "Listen, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is pretty cool."
Three children play hide and seek. Their names are Silence, Anger, and Parent. Anger counts. Parent hides in the trash. Silence is at the police station.
A policeman looks at Silence and asks: "What is your name?" Silence replies: "Silence." Terrified, the policeman asks: "Where are your parents?" Silence then replies: "Parent is in the trash!" The policeman then asks indignantly: "Are you looking for Trouble?" Silence replies: "No, in fact, Anger finds me."
You're in One Piece because they're looking for your hairline.
Q. What's the difference between a baby and a bale of straw?
A. I got arrested last time I speared a baby with a pitchfork.
How do you make a baby survive a fall of over 300 metres?
I don't know. I've dropped dozens off the Empire State Building and none have lived.
What do you call a seven who's not feeling well? A sick seven
Where did Sally go after stepping onto the minefield? Everywhere
Getting a girlfriend is just like parking a car; usually all the good ones are taken, so you just gotta stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices.
How many babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
More than 10, since my basement's still dark.
What's the difference between a terrorist training camp and an orphanage?
I don't know, I just fly the drone.
What's the difference between my father and acne?
Acne waited for me to be a teenager before coming on my face.
What's better than winning the Paralympics wheelchair race?
Walking.
I bought a belt made of clocks.
It was a waist of time.
Grandma: "Y’know, I used to be in this wheelchair cause of back pain. But ever since I met Spence, the pain went to my legs. At least my back is fixed!"
You built like you in the 1980's!
You're built like a Windows touchscreen!