Worst Jokes Ever

A Chinese man and an Indian man are in a car. Who’s driving?

The driving instructor.

Depressed person: *chokes on food* *involuntary coughs untill they can breathe* "AWWW I failed the race!!"

If being near immortal was a normal thing i bet wanting to die wouuld've been too

Really feeling suicidal is basically having a mental breakdown, but realizing you have nothing nice and sharp to use

Why did the suicidal person cross the road?

To slow down traffic!

Life with depression is like a cheeseburger.

It's not good without the cheese.

I thought about learning skydiving without having to afford gear. But the highest place I got is my apartment window.

When you're asked to tell a crazy story, but the first thing that comes up to your mind is a suicide attempt:

"Oh, I don't remember anything in particular. 😅😀"

Would a depressed person enjoy a cat scratch? After all, it's a free slice.

Is skin picking self-harm?

Cause I'm red all over without a razor.

Isn't it ironic that the actually nice people tend to be suicidal?

Think about it: suicide exists to make sure bad people bother each other instead.

DEPRESSION SPEEDRUN starter-kit:

* Parental issues * Money problems * Genetic likeliness * Horrible friends * Annoying neighbors/classmates * School * Being alive * Actually being a good person for once * Giving a f#ck * War-ridden area * All future options kinda suck

I don't get people who treat you like shit and cross your boundaries, then are surprised when you have depression.

It's because of them after all. 🥰✨️

Everyone: "Wow, you're so nice and perfect! Your life must be great!"

*Reality of having depression* Me: "Oh yeah, I guess. 😀"

Depressed caller: "I'm done with everything!"

Responder: "Please hang on!"

Don't cum in the sink!

Sink in the cum!

My science teacher asked me what is found inside cells.

I guess "blacks" wasn't the right answer.

The penis has a sad life. His hair is always a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor is an asshole, his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him.

He also stands up for kids who can't defend themselves.

An electrician walks into a green house. He sees a red room. He wonders why it's red because Kurt Cobain and his shotgun were sitting there.

What has four legs and works at McDonald's?

The remaining members of Nirvana.