I only believe in 12.5% of everything the Bible says. -- Which makes me an eighth theist.
I am right 95 percent of the time, who cares about that other 7 percent?
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
90 percent of women kiss with their eyes closed, which is why it's so difficult to identify a rapist
I only believe in 12.5% of the bible. I'm an EIGTHeyist
You look like the 0.01 percent of germs the lysol didn't kill.
Me: hey friend!
Friend: yes?
Me: What is the missing sense? Seeing, Smelling, _, Tasting, Hearing.
Friend: Touch
Me: what do u spawn on Minecraft always (jk only 99.99pursent)
Friend: Grass
Me: And you get?
Friend: Touch grass
If you drink hand sanitizer does it only kill 99.9% of you?...........💀
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97 percent of women.
Bob: What is the percent of people who are depressed. Me: If your only counting me. 100%
A woman goes into labor with her child. The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of child birth to the father. He asks if it is ok to use the new device. The couple agrees and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. The man feels nothing. They then bump it up to 20%. He still feels nothing. They keep doing this until they have the machine up to 100%. The man still felt nothing so they go home happy, until they find the milkman dead on the porch.
By the way my Grandma told me this one
Yesterday on the school bus my freind infront of me said she was 41% irish and 15% Mexican then my freind siting next to me said “wow almost half leprechaun” then I said “yeah and 15 percent wall climber”
Today we need to teach our teens about having safe sex while using contraceptives. condoms 99 percent effective birth controll 99 percent effective ect just be like me and use underage 7 year olds works 100 percent of the time ( only cost 20 years in jail ;)
Setting: Funeral Home
Customer: Yes I was considering what would be the best option for cheap cremation but I feel that's silly to ask.
Funeral Director: Oh! We do have these nice urns over hear at a discounted 75 percent off. Customer: Okay? What's the catch. That's almost 300 dollars off?
Funeral Director: I assure you these are top of the line urns and will keep your loved ones remains secure and dry. Customer: Okay?
Funeral Director: Yep these have only been used once so it's is absolutely worth the purchase.
By: MiniMemorials.com
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I found a book called How to Solve 50% of Your Problems. So I bought 2.
my cousinn called me ugly well im pritty shure 90% of her looks could be wiped away with a kleanex
🤔 💭 🙃 What comment did the United States Senator Kamla Harris make when one of her 64% blue dog democrat constituents called her incompetent? Sometimes I sits and thinks, and sometimes I just sits!!
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
