3.14% of sailors are...
π-rates.
Percent Jokes
9 out of 10 Americans are stupid... I'm so glad I'm in the 1%.
I told my friend that if he ever wants 50% off something at a store, just to take me with him and scan my wrist.
I only believe in 12.5% of everything the Bible says.
Which makes me an eighth-theist.
I am right 95 percent of the time, who cares about that other 5 percent?
Ninety percent of your beauty can be removed with a Kleenex.
Oh, were you talking to me? I thought you only talked behind my back.
Hold still, I am trying to imagine you with a personality.
I only believe in 12.5% of the bible. I'm an EIGTHeyist.
Why should you be friends with emos? Because you get to scan their bar code for 20% off, and when it expires, they get rid of themselves.
90 percent of women kiss with their eyes closed, which is why it's so difficult to identify a rapist.
What is an orphan's favorite movie? Hint, not Home Alone. It's actually Batman, 'cause they are 50% the same as him.
You look like the 0.01 percent of germs the Lysol didn't kill.
Want to save 50% on your Chinese?
Just ask before you pay.
I'm 50% human, so that 50% stupid is 100% you.
Me: Hey friend!
Friend: Yes?
Me: What is the missing sense? Seeing, smelling, _, tasting, hearing.
Friend: Touch.
Me: What do you spawn on Minecraft always? (jk only 99.99%)
Friend: Grass.
Me: And you get?
Friend: Touch grass.
Scan my wrist for 75% off!
If you drink hand sanitizer, does it only kill 99.9% of you?...........💀
Your life literally is as valuable as a summer ant. I'm just gonna stomp you, you're gonna keep coming back, I'm gonna seal up all my cracks, you're gonna keep coming back, why? Cause you keep smelling the syrup, you worthless bitchass nlgga! You're gonna stay on my dick until you die. You serve no purpose in life, your purpose in life is to be on my stream sucking on my dick daily. Your purpose in life is to be in that chat blowing a dick daily. Your life is nothing, you serve ZERO purpose. You should kill yourself, NOW! And give somebody else a piece of that oxygen and ozone layer that's covered up so we can breathe inside this blue trapped bubble. Cause what are you here for? To worship me? Kill yourself! I mean that with a hundred percent with a thousand percent.
Did you know that..
Studies show 9 in 10 Americans do not have basic math skills.
Oh, thank god I'm in that 1%.
97 percent of women...
90% of women don't like men in pink shirts. Ironically, 90% of men in pink shirts don't like women.