Worst Jokes Ever
My mother was so sad after my grandpa's death, she went into the bathroom with my uncle, and I could hear their moans of sorrow. She then surprised me later on, saying that she was pregnant.
What's the worst thing about committing suicide? You can only do it once.
What's the only regret you would have when you eventually kill yourself? It wasn't sooner.
Children in the dark make mistakes.
Mistakes in the dark make children.
Why was the orphan's first phone an iPhone X? Because it didn't have a home button.
I hate Russian dolls. They're so full of themselves.
Do you know how to make an orphan's hands bleed?
Tell them to clap until their parents come home.
Why are mountains so funny? -- Because they are hill areas.
I went over to a crying child and said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working at an orphanage!
So there I was, fucking my sister, and she shouts, "God, you fuck like Dad!" I then said, "Damn, that’s what Mom said."
What does a light bulb and a school shooter have in common?
They both light up the room.
A limbless man sat on the side of a lake everyday. He had no hands or legs.
One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay.
He replied, "No." The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?" The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever." So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked. "No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before." The woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?" The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fucked."
The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"
My teacher said, "I'm gonna leave soon, I don't want to be here anymore!" So I shot her.
What do you call a bee’s love?
Honey.
what do you call a white person having a seizure?
a vanilla shake.
McDonald's and the Twin Towers are alike. McDonald's has a drive-through, and the Twin Towers had a fly-through.
Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have its perks... You get to scan their wrists for discounts!
Why can't an orphan sign up for adoption websites?
Parental Login: __________
Yo mama so ugly, when she was born, the doctor tried to put her back in.
Why couldn't the orphan buy chips?
They were all family sized.
When the speedbump in a school zone screams, so you go faster.