Worst Jokes Ever

Why do orphans hate the color black? Because it reminds them of their dark history.

YOOO, does anyone need an ark? I know a guy!

Bin Laden promised 76 virgins to Al-Qaeda.

Instead, there was one 76-year-old virgin.

I asked a kid at my work where his parents were. He started crying. Man, I don't know what I did. I'll ask another kid at the orphanage.

Me: Good night, everyone.

My friends and family: Night.

Me: *gets in coffin*

My family: *stares at my friends* You aren't going to do something?!?

My friends: *to my family* Nope, this is normal.

I bought a book for my blind friend.

What's the difference between drugs and children? I don't sell drugs.

I was wondering why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

I went to visit my friend's sick grandpa. He was lying in a hospital bed connected to a lot of tubes. When I approached him, he kept repeating "Nǐ cǎizhe wǒ de yǎngqì guǎn."

Suddenly, right in front of me, he passed. Later that night, I translated his last words, and they were, "You're standing on my oxygen tube."

What do you call a funny cow?

A cowmedian.

Welcome to the abortion clinic. You make 'em, we scrape 'em. No fetus can beat us.

What do you call an Indian in a Lamborghini?

CURRY in a hurry.

My relatives always teased me during weddings, saying, "You'll be next!"

But they stopped when I did the same to them during funerals.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Well, it depends on how hard you throw them.

What did the fish say before he hit the wall? -- "Oh, dam."

What's the best way to catch a fish? Ask someone to throw it to you.

The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza. They got plane.

I like my women how I like my wine.

Aged 9 years and lives in the basement.

What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common? They both let little kids sit on their lap.

Friend: How dark IS your humor?

Me: It started an organization against cops.