Worst Jokes Ever
What is a glory hole at the adult book store used for?
Campaign contributions to the Republican Party.
What do you call a sheep on steroids? A woolly mammoth.
Why don't Indians play soccer?
Because every time they get a corner, they build a shop on it.
What is a necrophiliac's favorite band?
Coldplay.
My doctor is a very attractive woman; gorgeous face, nice boobs, smoking hot body. She said to me, “You are in your 50’s now, you have GOT to stop masturbating.” I asked why. She replied, “Because I’m trying to examine you, ya’ pervert!!!”
I named my daughter Kennedy so when I talked about how her brain was shot out of her head, people just thought I paid really close attention in history.
Curry.
Yo mama so fat, I stood next to her and lost cell phone reception.
Little Johnny was sitting in class, and he was behind a girl called Sally. The teacher asks the class, "Who created the Earth?" And Little Johnny pokes Sally in the back with his sharpened pencil, and she jumps and says, "MY GOD!" And the teacher says, "Yes, Sally, God did create the Earth." Sally sits down.
Then, the teacher asks, "Where do you go after you live a good life?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally again, and she jumps up and says, "HEAVENS TO BETSY!" And the teacher says, "Yes Sally. You will go to heaven after you live a good life." Sally sits down, knowing full well Little Johnny was poking her. Sally gave Little Johnny an angry glare, and she turns around.
And then, the teacher asks the class, "What did Eve say to Adam after their 77th child?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally HARDER this time in the back, and Sally jumps, turns around and says, "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I swear I'm gonna lose it!" And the teacher faints.
What do you call a gay threesome?
A Sloppy Joe.
What do you call an orphan family tree?
A tree stump.
Spell 'Imap' and say 'ness' at the end.
I ate too many temmie flakes... I guess I got a TEMMIE ACHE!!!!
I wasn't planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.
Roses are dead, violets are dead. I am a bad gardener.
What do a school shooter and a lightbulb have in common? They both light up the classroom. 🤡💀
How does a blind person know when a skydive has finished?
The dog lead went slack.
What do you call a sad cup of coffee?
Answer: Depresso.
It's no surprise Donald Trump moved to Florida. That's where the oranges are.
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The "p" is silent.