Worst Jokes Ever
A man comes home and finds his wife in bed with another guy. "What's going on here!?" he exclaims.
The wife replies, "See, I told you he was stupid."
Dear Autocorrect, I never wanted to spell the word "bigger".
Your hairline is so far back, Paw Patrol couldn't finish their mission.
What do you call a blind German?
A notsee.
Why are Indians such good actors?
Most of them are phone scammers.
Roses are red, I'm not a boaster.
Elon must've got rushed to the hospital after impregnating a toaster.
What was the Roman Empire cut in half by?
A pair of Caesars.
Every male is expected to pass their driver's test. Paul Walker clearly failed his.
Say what you want against pedophiles, but they slow down in school zones.
There's an outbreak of foot and mouth disease, it can affect pigs and cows.
I hope my teacher will be ok.
Black holes and horny black women have 1 thing in common, they suck everything in sight.
Oh, my fat joke offended you? Which one of your chins did I hurt?
Why can't a Muslim woman give head to an American cop?
She doesn't eat pigs.
What do apples and witches have in common? They both hang on trees.
What did the balls say to the dick?
Hey dick, how's it hanging?
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
My mind was blown when I saw all the people waving at me.
-JFK
To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket, "You can hide but you can't run."
Roses are red, lemons are sour.
Spread your legs and give me an hour.
Little Johnny walks in on his grandfather smoking a cigar.
“May I smoke a cigar?” asks Johnny.
The grandpa replies, “Well, does your dick touch your asshole?”
Johnny replied, “No,” and left the room.
The next day Johnny sees his grandpa getting into a car.
“Can I drive the car?” asks Johnny.
“Does your dick touch your asshole?”
“No.”
The day after that, Grandpa sees Johnny about to eat a cookie.
“Johnny, may I have some of your cookie?” asked the grandpa.
“Does your dick touch your asshole, grandpa?”
“Yep.”
“Then go fuck yourself, this is my cookie.”