Worst Jokes Ever

What's the difference between eggs and you? Eggs get laid, you don't.

There was a costume party on Halloween. Everyone was there except one guy. Many people asked his brother where he was. His reply was, "Oh, he wanted to be our dad for Halloween."

What’s the difference between hungry and horny?

Where you put the cucumber 🥒

What do you call a kid in a wheelchair that you push in a fire? Hot Wheels.

What does a gay man that is a dumb blonde and who is a prostitute do after he sucks cock?

Spit out the feathers.

An apple and an emo kid fall off a tree at the same time. Who hits the ground first?

The apple, because the emo kid got caught by the rope.

A little boy got the homework that he had to learn the four first letters of the alphabet. He went to his mother, who was knitting and had hurt herself. He asked her what the first letter of the alphabet was, and she said a swear word. He went to his brother, who was playing with a Superman, and asked what the second letter of the alphabet was, and he answered "SUPERMAN!!!". Then he went to his little sister, and asked what the third letter of the alphabet was, and given the fact that she was playing with Barbies, she said, "in the Barbie Dream House!" Then he went to his father who was watching a soccer game, and his team just scored, so when he asked what the fourth letter of the alphabet was, he said, "Olé Olé Olé!!!". The next day at school, the teacher asked the little boy what the first four letters of the alphabet were. He said the swear word. "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, YOUNG MAN!!!", the teacher boomed. "Superman", the boy replied. "WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!?!?!", the teacher continued. "In the Barbie Dream House" "GO TO THE PRINCIPALS OFFICE!!!" "OLÉ OLÉ OLÉ OLÉ!", the boy chanted on his was down the hall.

Pick a number, syckkkkkkk, that’s the wrong number.

I got kicked out of a hospital once. I told all the COVID patients to stay positive.

I got kicked out of Social Studies class when my teacher made us watch a women's rights documentary. When he asked us what the genre of the film was, I put my hand up and said "Fiction."

What's the difference between $1 million and baby teeth?

I don't have $1 million in my wallet.

Guys, we need to stop making jokes about orphans. Their parents might get upset. Oh, wait... never mind.

What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?

"I'm still standing, yeah, yeah, yeah!" (from Elton John)

A woman walks into a doctor's office. She schedules an appointment and sits down in the waiting room. When it's her turn to talk to the doctor, she describes all of her symptoms, and they're unlike anything he's heard before. The doctor runs a few tests and steps out of the room. He comes back later, and says, "Well, I have good news and bad news." The woman says, "I'll hear the good news first please." The doctor replies, "The good news is we're naming a disease after you!"

Having an abortion will make you so tired... it literally sucks the life out of you.

I only believe in 12.5% of everything the Bible says.

Which makes me an eighth-theist.

Yo mama is so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.

Why did the farmer name his pig Ink?

Because he kept on running out of the pen.

Man, choking on sugar seems like the sweetest way to die.

I made a website that helps orphans. Sadly, it doesn't have a homepage.