Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
The cabinet had sleeping pills.
What sucks about disabled people?
They can't stand up for themselves.
A depressed kid takes a drink of water and someone takes it and takes a drink. "Oh come on, the train stopped, the rope broke, I couldn't get on the building, the gun was empty, the knife was dull, the bridge was too low, and the cliff was nonexistent, and now you took the poison!"
Q. What movie represents an orphan's life?
A. Spiderman: No Way Home.
I would tell a 9/11 joke, but they usually crash and burn.
What is the one thing wrong with Asian pet stores?...
There is always a kitchen in the back.
I was talking to a beaver about my life. I don't think he really gave a dam about it at all.
Seriously, who wants fucking Annoying Orange as president?
Why did the sperm cross the road?
Because I put the wrong socks on this morning.
What do you call it when Hitler abuses his wife?
Adolf Hit Her.
Yo mama so fat, when she took a picture of herself, her phone ran out of storage.
What's the laziest mountain?
Mount Ever-rest.
Guys, help! I need advice to confess to my crush. I'm being for real right now, guys, help!
Roses are red, your cities are gone, I am Thomas the thermonuclear bomb.
What do you call a nose without a body? -- Nobody knows.
Q: If George Washington was alive today, what would he do?
A: Scratch mercilessly at the coffin walls, while screaming at the top of his lungs!
My best friend got ligma. (Ah, did he? Sorry bro.) LIGMA BALLS!
Why is sex like math?
You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.
What do you do if you see someone raping your girlfriend? Help out. There is no way she can fight both of you. Then, find the poor man a lawyer.
A man tried to shoot Adolf Hitler, but missed. Then Adolf replied, "Oh shoot, I did nazi that coming!"