Worst Jokes Ever
I don't understand why, when I went to the shooting range today, the police came. Like, bro, I always go to elementary schools.
I caught my girlfriend cheating on me, with our dad.
What's an orphan's favorite part in the Wizard of Oz?
When Dorothy says, "There's no place like home."
People always told me to open doors for elders. So I opened the plane door 5,000 feet up in the air for a grandma.
Boner.
What's the difference between a cat and a banana? It's hard to peel a cat.
What do you call a born-again heteroflexible male that is a Christian nationalist who thinks he is bisexual when the LGBT community knows that he is bicurious and that he is on steroids and that the LGBT community knows that he is not telling the truth about that? He is a gay man that is in the closet. He should be forced out of the closet by gay men in the LGBT community by any means necessary if gay men in the LGBT community still want to defend the wall of separation of church and state by any means necessary.
When you go over a speed bump, but you remember that there are no speed bumps in the school zone.
Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with you parents soon." He said, "My parents died." I said, "I know...." I went for the cliffs.
If we can't see air, can fish see water?
What were Stephen's last words? “Battery low.”
Why don't oysters share their pearls?
Because they're shellfish!
Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go.
Why don't Mexicans cross the border in groups of 3? Cause the sign says "No Trespassing."
What website should you go to to look up LSD dealers?
TripAdvisor.com
My mother wanted to test my responsibility and wanted me to cook dinner for the family to help me understand how it feels to constantly cook for a whole family. So, me with my horrible humor, decided to make a giant joke for when dinner time came around, and so I just got four plates and set them in front of my family and I then said, "Here you are, a fine African meal." Then everybody looked at me in disappointment, and then I continued to say, "What? Poor taste?"
Your hairline is so bad that it makes Lebron's hairline look normal.
I piss on blind kids and tell them it's raining.
What's the only good thing about being an orphan?
All snacks are family sized!
There are five cows on a farm, one mamma cow and four baby calves. The first baby walks up to the mom and asks, "Momma, why is my name Rose?" The mommy cow replies, "Well honey, a rose petal fell on your head when you were born." The next calf comes up and asks, "Momma, why is my name Lily?" The mother replies, "Because honey, a lily petal fell on your head when you were born." The third baby comes up and asks, "Momma, why is my name Daisy?" The momma cow again replieds, "Well, when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head." The final baby walks over and says, "Huh Ruh Buh Duh!" The momma cow says, "Shut up, Cinderblock!"