Worst Jokes Ever
A pedophile is chatting on the internet: "On a scale of one to ten, how old are you?"
Guys, this is so wrong. I'm an orphan and this extremely offends me. I'm telling my parents, um.......
I wanted another piece of pizza... but she said I could only have One Piece.
Chuck Norris was a kamikaze pilot. 12 times.
Do not be racist; be like Mario. He's an Italian plumber, who was made by the Japanese, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew!
The F in orphans stands for family...
My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair.
But I knew she'd come crawling back to me.
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jill's candy. Jack got a shock and a mouth full of cock because Jill's real name is Randy.
I wish my dad was home. I haven’t seen him since the shot of 2008.
Husband: "I bet you can't say something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time."
Wife: "You have the biggest penis out of all your friends."
I like my wine how I like my women: 7 years old, and locked up in my basement.
God: “Steven, join us.”
Sees the staircase to Heaven.
Steven: “Ahh, fu-”
Two wrongs don't make a right. Take your parents as an example.
What is big, annoying, and full of blubber?
90% of America's population.
What is the richest planet?
Saturn 🪐- It has many rings.
Q: Why did the young boy ask his parents to take him to the Cowboys’ AT&T Stadium during the tornado warning?
A: He said, “There’s never a touchdown there.”
Why do lawyers use Viagra? To grow taller.
What do the Titanic and the Montréal Canadiens have in common? They both sank to the bottom of the Atlantic.
What do you call a party planned by Bill Cosby and Jeffrey Epstein?
A high school pill party.
Three nuns are on their way up to heaven after having been involved in a terrible minibus crash on the Italian Alps that killed them and the driver (he went the other direction!).
As they're approaching the Pearly Gates to be interviewed by St. Peter, they are requested by an attendant to form a single line and wait. Sister Agnes is first, Sister Bernadette behind her and Sister Carmel on the end.
Finally, St. Peter approaches the nuns to determine their worthiness for entry to Heaven.
He says to the first nun: "Sister Agnes, have you ever seen the penis of a man?"
Sister Agnes bursts into tears and says: "Yes, St. Peter, I have, but please don't let this prevent me from entering the Kingdom of Heaven."
St. Peter says: "Never fear, my child. Say a thousand Hail Marys and then go over to that font of Holy Water and wash your eyes out, then you shall enter the Kingdom of Heaven."
Sister Carmel sees what's going on and taps Sister Bernadette on the shoulder, somewhat urgently.
"Pssst - hey Bernie"!, she says.
Sister Bernadette asks: "What is it?" A little annoyed.
Sister Carmel says: "Do you mind if we swap places"?
Sister Bernadette replies: "What for"?
Sister Carmel says: "Well, I wouldn't mind gargling before you stick your ass in there!"