Worst Jokes Ever
Roses are red, violets are blue.
YOU HAVE AN ARRANGED MARRIAGE WAITING FOR YOU...
My wife told me to be more in touch with my feminine side, so I crashed the car.
I'm reading this book in braille right now, and I know something's gonna happen, I can just feel it.
Why did the orange go blind? Because he was low on vitamin C.
If I were a history teacher, I’d make the two twins stand up and throw a paper airplane at them.
Why is reverse cowgirl banned in Alabama? Because you never turn your back on family.
Australian says to American: why do you have such bad gun laws?
American: Self defense.
Australian: Self defense against 50 innocent children?
So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods.
The boy turns to the man and says, "Hey mister, it's getting dark out, and I’m scared... Can we go back now?"
So the man says: "How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone!"
My mother was so sad after my grandpa's death, she went into the bathroom with my uncle, and I could hear their moans of sorrow. She then surprised me later on, saying that she was pregnant.
Why can't orphans work at S.C. Johnson? Cause it's a family company.
What do sex and food have in common?
My sister makes it better than my cousin.
How does a turkey drive a car? He wings it.
I just found out that there is a racist stereotype about Asians being bad drivers, which isn't true... but if it is, then maybe Pearl Harbor was just an accident.
Jesus takes his disciples to a bar.
"13 pints of water, please," he says to the barman.
"Oh, fuck, not you again," the barman replies.
"You boys are about to see something real special," says Jesus.
Yo mama so ugly, when she tried to enter an ugly contest, they said they didn't allow professionals.
Why do people in a wheelchair make bad jokes? Because they are bad at stand-up.
After getting in the White House, D. Trump gets a letter...
...from the Iranian president. He opens it and to his surprise there is a paper with a weird looking code on it:
370HSSV 0773H
All confused, Trump contacts the FBI and forwards the letter to them in hope they can figure out the meaning, but they weren't able to. Trump gets angry and sends the letter to both the CIA and NSA, and they also fail to figure out the meaning of the letter.
One of the agents suggests Trump ask for MI6's help, so he does and few minutes after a British agent sends a fax to his secretary:
"Tell your president he was holding the letter upside down."
A blind man had an argument with a man in a wheelchair. The man in a wheelchair made fun of him saying, "look, there's a spider." The blind man simply said, "Step on it."
What does BLM stand for?
Bisexual Lives Matter.
Who read the most words?
911 passengers, they read 12 stories in 9.10 seconds.