Worst Jokes Ever
If Uranus is so gross, why do they take HD photos of it?
The twin towers were basically Angry Birds but in real life.
Bully: "Nobody loves you."
Me: "Aww, it must have hurt when your mom told you that."
How do you fuck a cow?
Find the nearest Karen.
I parked in a disabled space today...
...and a traffic warden shouted to me, “Oi, what's your disability?” I said “Tourettes! Now fuck off!”
I entered ten puns into a contest to see which one would win.
No pun in ten did.
I was at a funeral for some kids in a school shooting. I don’t understand why everyone was so sad, so I asked a lady, "what’s so sad?" and she said, "What do you think was running through these kid’s head before they died?" I replied, "probably a bullet." She gasped and said, "do you have any idea how insensitive that is? What do you think is running through their parent’s heads?" I said "probably all the money they're losing from this funeral."
Why can't Stephen Hawking be a Rocket League car? Because he can't jump for an aerial.
What was Frankenstein's second job? -- He was a bodybuilder.
Things to kids:
Dragapult: "Ooh, look! Some ammo."
A Good Parent: "My baby!"
Michael Jackson: (HeeHee)
I would make a Paul Walker joke, but it would crash and burn.
You: "Captain, where is this plane going?"
Captain: "New York, 175 Greenwich Street."
I looked in the mirror yesterday. I still have nightmares...
Son: Mom, what is dark humor?
Mom: Son, do you see that man trying to tie his shoe with no hands?
Son: Mother, you know I'm blind and can't see!!
Mom: Exactly!
What school does a depressed middle school kid go to?
KMS.
What do french fries 🍟 do when they meet?
They ketchup.
What do you call an orphan if every other orphan gets picked?
Someone: Ugly?
Me: No, trick question, they are still an orphan.
The Toaster: The best bath bomb!
Why do cow milking stools only have three legs?
Because the cow has the udder!
If at first you don't succeed,
Maybe Russian Roulette isn't for you.