Worst Jokes Ever
A grasshopper walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender says, "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper looks confused and says, "Oh really? You have a drink named 'Bob'??"
What do Polish people in Poland use chop sticks for?
tweezers.
You know those paper families you cut out?
Well, I put one of those in an orphanage.
What do Colorado and Saudi Arabia have in common?
It's legal to get stoned.
Yo mama so fat when she jumped in the water, the whales started singing "We are a family, even though you fatter than me."
Like if you have a dad.
The best joke in the world is me.
Don't say that you're not a joke. Jokes have meanings.
My dad’s nickname for me is ‘Tiger’.
Now, my wrists look like a tiger.
How does a turkey drive a car? He wings it.
I want to thank all the sidewalks out there for keeping me off the street.
I arrived at work and saw a kid crying. I walked up to the kid and asked, "Hey, where are your parents?" and the kid just cried more. God, I love working at an orphanage.
In honor of Michael Jackson, Vienna Beef, as well as other establishments, are introducing the Jackson dog. It's a 50 year old sausage between two 7 year old buns, with everything on it.
Yo mama's so fat, when she skips a meal, the stock market drops.
Comment and join Dumbledore's army in the community to give someone you hate permanent bad luck.
Yo mama is so fat, she has her own personal gravity.
How did Donald Trump win Alabama twice?
By declaring that he has a crush on his daughter!
How much semen can a gay man hold? A buttload.
what happens when the president turns emo?
the great depression.
Little Johnny was walking down an alley and saw a lamp. After he rubbed it, a genie came out and said, "You have 10 seconds to have one wish." Little Johnny says he wants to pee alcohol. The genie grants his wish. He tells his family, and his sister doesn't believe it. After having a drink, she says, "We should have this every night!" Little Johnny gets two cups every night, one for him and his sister. He does the same thing for four nights. Eventually, he ran out of cups and has one left. He gives it to himself, and his sister asks, "Where's my cup?" Little Johnny replied, "You're drinking out of the bottle tonight."
What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is a refreshing summertime snack; the other one is a watermelon.