Worst Jokes Ever
It's not rape if they can't say no. Duct tape.
In school, we learned that squirrels stick their nuts in trees. So, just like my uncle Dave...
Are you a toaster? Because I want to take a bath with you.
I'm shocked that Kanye West never tried to get Carrie Underwood's number after Carrie starred in a pro-Aryan ad for Almay.
My friend and I were joking about a kid in a wheelchair, and another kid came up and said to the wheelchair kid, "You should stand up for yourself."
The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.
Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.”
The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.”
Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”
The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.”
Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him.
Johnny said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!”
The teacher sat down and cried.
What do you do when you finish a magazine at school? Put another one in and continue!
What was the one word that could have saved Princess Diana's life?
Taxi.
Why was Sally at the hospital after her parents left? Because they put her up for adoption.
What do emos like to do when they're sad?
They play violin on their wrists.
Aunt: Stop telling the kids Santa isn't real.
Me: Stop telling them their dad is going to get milk.
How do you fit a baby in a bowl? ... A blender... and how do you get it out?
Tortilla chips.
Why is the bottom of the sea so dark?
Because Black people can’t swim.
😥This is offensive, sorry: What did the king say to his royal steed? "You gonna start the dishwasher or what?"
How does a gay man trick a heterosexual man that is homophobic into giving him a brojob?
The gay man puts mustard on his dick and then puts his dick inside a glory hole.
Why did piglet go to the bathroom?
To search for Poo.
It's better being depressed and suicidal than being happy, know why? Happiness never lasts forever.
I should be ashamed of myself for making all these jokes at the expense of the disabled! After all, they can't even stand up for themselves.
Where did Kobe go after the helicopter crashed? Everywhere.
I told my teacher, "I’m failing life." She said, "That’s not on the syllabus."