Worst Jokes Ever
Q: What's the best part about gardening?
A: Getting down and dirty with your hoes.
Why did little Timmy drop his ice cream cone?
He got hit by a bus.
Q. What do you call a Mexican Jedi?
A. a PadaJuan.
Why is America bad at chess? We already lost two towers.
What do an orphan's father and Nemo have in common?
They are both nowhere to be found.
A drunk walks into a bar and says, "All lawyers are assholes!" A guy at the other end of the bar says, "I resent that!" The drunk says, "Why, are you a lawyer?" and the other guy says, "No, I'm an asshole!"
There's three kids: Little Drop, Little Feather, and Little Brick. Little Feather goes, "Mommy, why do you call me L'feather?" She answers, "Cuz a little feather fell over your head when you were born." L'Drop asks his mom, "Mommy, why do you call me L'drop?" She answers, "Cuz a little drop fell on your head when you were born." L'brick goes, "aafddkcasgbklcdahjkcbgtnhrfn."
Q: Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
A: Because their dad is shopping for the milk.
Welcome to Dave's Orphanage. "You make it, we take it."
I got arrested on suspicion of attempted rape all because I was carrying some cable ties, a bit of tape and a piece of cloth. It's such a joke, I hadn't even bought the chloroform yet.
What's the difference between a baby and garlic bread? I feel bad when I drop garlic bread.
My girlfriend and I played Russian Roulette once.
We had sex afterwards even though she lost.
Dear Autocorrect, I never wanted to spell the word "bigger".
Sign outside a hair salon: "We'll color your hair or dye trying."
A cock really has a sad life. He's hairs a mess, his neighbor's an arsehole, his best friend is a cunt.
I asked my North Korean friend, "what's it like to live in North Korea?" He responded, "can't complain."
How does Hellen Keller meet men?
She goes on blind dates.
If a midget with down syndrome shows up late for work, is it okay to say she's a little tardy?
What do a small pair of underpants and a small dance room have in common?
No ballroom.
I'll never forget my brother's last words: "Why is there a revolver in your hand?"