Worst Jokes Ever
Why do orphans drink water with cereal?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call Helen Keller in a pitch black, sound proof room?
Unnecessary.
I would roast you, but the mirrors do when you look at them.
Science can fly you to the moon, but religion flies you into skyscrapers.
Suicidal people are groundbreaking.
What is a kidnapper’s favorite shoe?
White Vans.
How do you tell an Indian person from a Muslim?
Are you 7/11 or 9/11?
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? -- A stick.
After a lord comes back from vacation, he meets the gardener at the gates of his park.
Lord: "Has something happened while I was gone?"
Gardener: "Ah, nothing much, I just broke a shovel while I was burying your dog."
Lord: "My dog died?!"
Gardener: "Yes, it choked on the smoke when your mansion burnt down."
Lord: "My mansion?! How?!"
Gardener: "Well, your wife was distraught and dropped a candle on the curtains."
Lord: "Why was she so distraught?"
Gardener: "She received the news of your daughter being kidnapped."
Lord: "My daughter! Don't you have any positive news for me?!"
Gardener: "Oh right! Your cancer test results!"
What is a gun that Africa doesn't have? A water gun.
Where does Spider-Man keep his pictures?
On a website.
If you’re forced to have it as a child, you won’t like it as an adult.
I guess Hitler was forced to have vegetables when he was younger.
What’s the best part about having sex with twenty-six year olds?
There’s twenty of them.
Chuck Norris used to be an orphan.
Because some families were too scared of his bravery to adopt him.
What's harder than steel? Joe Biden at a playground.
Q: What does a dead prostitute and a swimming pool have in common?
A: They're both cold when you first get in, but warm up after a few strokes.
I like my people how I like my tea...
In a bag under water.
What is different about priests and acne?
Acne waits until you're 13 to cum on your face.
What do you call a communist pirate ship?
The USS Arrrrr.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't know why I am still alive for you.