Worst Jokes Ever
I remember when I was a kid, I thought the world used to be colorless.
I was kinda right. They used to not let colors in a lot of areas.
Two blondes fell in a hole and one asked, "It's dark in here, isn't it?" and the other one says, "I don't know, I can't see."
Why don’t cheetahs get married?
They always cheat on each other.
A salesman rings the doorbell and Little Johnny answers. Salesman: “Can I see your dad?” Johnny: “No, he’s in the shower.” Salesman: “What about your mother? Can I see her?” Johnny: “Nope. She’s in the shower, too.” Salesman: “Do you think they’ll be out soon?” Johnny: “Doubt it. When my dad asked me for the Vaseline, I gave him super glue instead.”
After an intense workout, I finally have the body I've always dreamed of.
It's in my basement.
What do you call an orange on a small stick?
Donald Trump.
Your mama is so fat that when she wears yellow, kids run after her thinking they missed the school bus.
I woke up this morning thinking it was gonna be a great day. But then I realized I was still alive.
All of these jokes are so dark, I'm surprised cops haven't shot them.
Where did Sally go during the bombing?
Everywhere.
Never break a girl's/boy's/someone's heart. They only have one of them.
Break their bones instead. They have 206 of them.
How do you get bubblegum out of your hair? Cancer.
Two priests walk into a store, and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester, and the priests both say, "I’ll do it!"
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
They can never make it home.
Wacko Jacko bleached his skin, lit his head on fire, slept in a chamber, abused his pet monkey, built an amusement park in his own backyard, had toys as decor for his home, slept with little boys, raped little boys. Jacko was Florida Man before Florida Man.
What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? I can't peanut butter my dick up your ass.
Why did the emo kid hate the nun? (Cuz nun of them were emo.)
I was blessed with a 9-inch dick. Fair to say that priest is in jail now.
Why was the stadium so hot?
Because all the fans left!
I can count the number of times I've been to Chernobyl on one hand. -- It's seven.