Worst Jokes Ever
A kid milks a cow and goes to school and tells his friends, "I milked a cow, and it took awhile for it to warm up." His brother came over and said, "We don't have cows, we have bulls."
You can't say Hitler was a bad person. He did kill Hitler after all.
I groomed 2 minors today.
I banged a German chick one time. I tried anal and asked her to rate the experience. She kept yelling "9! 9! 9!"
I learned my dad got into a car crash this morning.
And my driver's license got revoked too.
When you hear Michael Jackson talk about his "perfect 10," make sure you hide your 10-year-old son.
What did the nut chasing the other nut say? "I'mma cashew!"
How to make an orphan BLEED?
Step 1 - Tell them to clap until they actually have a loving family.
Step 2 - LAUGH EVILLY as they BLEED.
Step 3 - Tell them to kys.
Step 4 - Leave that mental asylum.
You look nice, and you seem like good fun, so if I give you this flower, will you finger my bum?
I told someone some jokes, y'know? "Fruit Ninja," "barcode legs," "French puppet thigh wrings." And she was like saying that's not cool and stuff. So she reported me, and it was like:
The counselor: "So I've heard you've been making sh jokes?" Me: "You say it like it's a bad thing." Her: "It is." Me: "Chill bro, it ain't that deep. Don't worry I'll end it :)"
You know the difference between me and a zebra? Me neither.
Why did the bee buzz off?
Because he had to bee somewhere.
Someone said to stop hurting myself, but I'm still trying to cut my arms off.
Where did Lucy go after the bombing?
Everywhere.
What noise does Stephen Hawking make when he dies? Windows shutting down theme tune.
Why don't orphans get offended by dark humor jokes?
It can't hit home.
What do bicycles and slaves have in common? They both use chains to work.
Did you fall from heaven? Because you really did a damage on your face.
Who’s there?
To.
To who?
No, “to whom.”
When I was in 4th grade, we wrote letters to kids in the hospital. I wrote: "It is a bumpy road but soon it will be a straight path." Not many people know I was talking about their heart monitor.