Worst Jokes Ever
I used to have confidence issues because of my learning disability.
Until someone told me I put the sexy in dyslexia.
The day after Chuck Norris was born, he drove his mom home from the hospital.
What’s the last thing Tickle Me Elmo receives before leaving the factory?
Two test tickles.
The colors red, white, and blue are the colors of freedom. Until they are flashing behind you.
What do depressed kids and sloths have in common? They both hang from trees.
A Chinese drunk and a Jewish drunk are sitting together on a park bench.
After finishing his drink, the Jew takes his bottle and smashes it over the head of the Chinese drunk.
"What the hell was that for?" asks the Chinese man, rubbing his head.
"That was for Pearl Harbor!" replies the Jewish drunk.
"Pearl Harbor? That was the Japanese! I'm Chinese!" he exclaims in return.
"Eh, Chinese, Japanese, Korean... you're all the same to me," the Jewish man explains as he gets up to leave.
The next day, the two drunks are back on the same park bench. The Chinese drunk suddenly takes his bottle and smashes it over the head of the Jew.
"Why the hell did you do that?" the Jewish man stammers.
"That was for the Titanic!" explains the Chinese drunk.
"The Titanic? What are you talking about? No one attacked it, it sunk when it hit an iceberg!" the Jew replies.
"Eh, Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg... you're all the same to me," the Chinese drunk happily retorts.
POV: Someone stole Michael Jackson's baby: "He he stole my bab(y), he he."
I rate you 9 out of 10, because I'm the 1 you need.
I wasn't planning on going on a run, but those cops showed up out of nowhere.
A man was asked by his 21 years old daughter, "Dad, how do you give a blowjob to a man that has a big dick?"
Her father replied, "Honey, you should have watched me last night. It was inside my mouth. Does it cycle now?"
How come when women decide to kill their unborn baby it's a "choice"? But when I decide to drive my car into a playground full of children it's called "murder."
What is a pirate's favorite element?
Argon.
Children should never run with scissors, and lesbians should never scissor with the runs.
19 and 20 had a fight. 21.
They'll never do reverse cowgirl because you never turn your back on family.
What were Stephen's last words? “Battery low.”
Yesterday I was fucking my sister, and she said, "You fuck a lot like dad." I said, "Really? Mum said that too."
Your hairline's so bent, it goes west, east, north, and south!
What would MLK Junior be if he was white?.........Alive.
Nazis have marched in Melbourne. Are you sure Eric Clapton and Carrie Underwood are not touring in Australia?