Worst Jokes Ever

What is the biggest disrespect to send a box of tea bags to Africa?

Mom: I'm getting you a dog!

Me: OMG REALLY?!

Mom: Yeah, what gender do you want?

Me:...

Me: Bitch, please.

Life's too short to want it.

Dark humor is like food, some just don't get it.

What's worse than a baby in a trash can?

A trash can in a baby.

My husband told me to make him a sandwich. I was looking online for some comebacks. Someone online said, "You better come back with a goddamn sandwich!"

You are so ugly, Hello Kitty had to say bye-bye.

The moment when she tells you: "I'm a virgin. Be gentle!" And you tell her, "Don't worry, I used to work with kids."

Where did Suzy go after getting lost on a minefield?

"Everywhere."

What's a school shooter's favorite flower?

Columbine.

What's the difference between a grape, an apple, and an arm? You don't slice a grape.

I wish I didn't have depression because all my friends have "BBC Bitch be crazy" disease.

What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?

Oral sex will make your whole day. Anal sex will make your hole weak.

What are the similarities between an orphan and a newborn plant?

Both their parents were separated.

I asked my rigger buddy if he could tie me up later, he said, "I'm a frayed knot."

What happens when an asian with an erection bumps into a wall? he breaks his nose

Why don’t midgets fight? They walk away to be the bigger man.

What do you call a psychic midget in trouble with the law?

A small medium at large.

Your forehead is so huge, you don't have dreams, you have movies. Follow me on Instagram: _zer0x3.

Donald Trump was golfing with Barack Obama. The Donald said, "Listen Barack, I'm getting older and I'm having trouble sexually satisfying my young wife. I know that you black guys are supposed to be magic in bed. Can you give me a few pointers?" Barack gave Donald a few ideas and that night Donald made love to his wife. He did everything he was told. He started out slowly entering his wife gently then finished hard. Melania came quickly screaming. "Oh Donald, You fuck just like Barack Obama."