Worst Jokes Ever
Sign outside a hair salon: "We'll color your hair or dye trying."
What's better than seeing a baby swing around on a clothesline at 60km/h? Stopping it with a cricket bat.
Titanic, doing the polar plunge before it was cool.
When a family friend passed away, my granddaughter took her three-year-old son to visit the widow. As they approached the front door, she whispered to the boy, “Make sure to tell her how sorry you are.” He whispered back, “Why? I didn’t kill him.”
Ever heard of a rape victim with Alzheimer's?
Yeah, neither have they.
Today a child asked if I was an angel. I asked why, and he said, "Mommy says that angels have marks on their wrists because they don't want to be in this world."
If you’re forced to have it as a child, you won’t like it as an adult.
I guess Hitler was forced to have vegetables when he was younger.
Why does the United States have such a good military? Because they learn to dodge bullets in school.
(sorry in advance this joke is brutal)
What has 12 heads and 24 eyes?
The bin at the back of the abortion clinic.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?... one gets picked.
Did you know Cobain had dandruff? Yep. They found his head and shoulders all over the back of his couch.
I got kicked out of a library today because I put a book about women's rights in the fantasy section.
Why did Michael Jackson go to jail? He was feeling a little Randy.
Underground Fruit Association of N&C (UGFA)?
We’re bananas!
Never invest in funerals. It's a dying industry.
Why do horses eat with their mouth open?
Because they have bad stable manners.
Broccoli is like anal sex. If you're forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult.
What is the difference between an orphan and a criminal?
Criminals are wanted.
Tell a woman she’s beautiful a hundred times, and she won’t believe you.
Tell a woman she’s fat once, and she will remember it for the rest of her life.
How can you surprise someone who is blind?
Leave a plunger in the toilet.