Worst Jokes Ever
If you are going to make fun of someone, make fun of orphans. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
Double whammy.
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer, it never gets old.
What's the difference between a Catholic hospital and Michael Jackson's Children's Hospital?
No seriously, what is it?
What did the receptionist at the sperm bank say when you were leaving? "Thanks for coming!" 馃槈馃槈
Russian, American, and Polish stood by the lake shore.
Russian ran ahead to dive and yelled "vodka" and the lake changed into vodka.
Polish ran ahead to dive and yelled "beer" and the lake changed into beer.
American ran to dive, slipped, and said, "oh shit."
What do you call an orange on a small stick?
Donald Trump.
What's worse than depression & suicide?
Easy: LIVING. Everyday you wish you were dead but then reality hits you in the face that you're still alive and have to suffer living.
Pretend or not pretend, we have to decide everyday even if we don't pretend no one will notice :) no one ever does :). Living is the problem to everything. We get depression cuz of it and so much. Why can't we just die :)?
What is a gun that Africa doesn't have? A water gun.
Well, you know what they say about cliffhangers...
What did the rapist say to his victim?
"Go ahead, call the police. We will see who comes first."
What's red, 6 inches long, and makes my girlfriend cry when I feed it to her?
Her miscarriage.
I have a short TRUE story of how I found out my brother was gay and did "it" with his best friend.
When my brother was 12-13 years old, he fucked his best friend and I saw it. I was like 4-5 years old, UNDERSTANDING what "it" stood for at the time. All I heard was "ahh" and "mmm". The only thing that traumatized me the most was when my brother moaned "daddy". I was so traumatized that I told my mother about it, she rolled her eyes and said, "He's probably playing a game with Evan". BULLSHIT... NO YOU DUMBASS. He was playing the game "SEX", more like "GAY SEX".
I even told my father and he said, "I don't understand what you're trying to say". I told him DIRECTLY that I heard my brother say "daddy" to his damn best friend!
I actually got so curious, I opened the door and saw them doing "69". I was blank white after I saw it. I will NEVER forget that he did "it" with his own best friend.. NEVER forget about it.
(just a btw, I still have the image stuck in my head and never forget how YOUNG he was..)
(He ain't no virgin anymore I guess lmfao.)
(MORE STORIES COMING SOON =D)
What's the laziest mountain?
Mount Ever-rest.
What do you do when your cat's not home?
Answer: You play with your neighbor's pussy.
I said to Google, "How do I kill someone?" Then I got https://www.wired.com/story/dark-web-bitcoin-murder-cottage-grove in the front. Before you click it, it says, "If you want to kill someone, we are the right guys." How the f*** did this get in Google?
Violence against women is funny :)
Your family tree looks like a circle 馃拃馃拃馃拃
I got jealous of the zebras. Sorry, I鈥檒l cut it out. I wanted to practice for my med school test.
Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.
What do you call a dead pine tree? A Nevergreen!
I visited the 9/11 memorial, that was bomb just like the towers.