Worst Jokes Ever
Why are cats bad storytellers? Because they only have one tail.
I'm so gay I could barely think straight.
Kid: Mum, how do you know someone is drunk?
Mum: See the four birds over there?
Kid: Huh, wait a minute.
Mum: A drunk person would see eight.
Kid: Mum, but there is only two.
What's a pedophile's favorite cooking ingredient?...... Fresh meat.
what's flat and great for cutting? me.
I asked my Dad the other day, "At what age is it okay to have sex with girls?"
He replied, "When they leave school, son, they are legal."
Apparently, 3:15 p.m. is not what he meant.
Horror movies don't scare me. 5 missed calls from my mum scares me.
I was having issues in my personal and professional life. I hated everyone. I was on the brink of a mental breakdown and depression. I decided to see a therapist about it. The therapist suggested that I should write letters to the people I hate and then burn them. I must admit I feel much better...
But now I don't know what to do with the letters.
What's the difference between your job and a dead hooker?
Your job still sucks.
I don't understand why in horror movies they make digging a grave look so easy. It usually takes me days.
The more suicidal people there are, the less suicidal people there are... Woah!
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.
What do you call a sneaky child molester?
Incogpedo.
A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders.
As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"
A Down syndrome kid asks for an ice cream. The man asks, "Do you want sauce on it?"
The kid says, "It doesn’t matter, I’m going to drop it anyway!" 😂😂😂
Flat Earther pickup line: "The Earth may be flat, but Uranus is round."
Asian pregnancy test: Stick a Rubik cube into vagina. Wait 30 seconds, if it's solved then there's a little Asian in there.
Yo mama so stupid, she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.
The daughter milked her dad. It turns out it wasn't milk...
Your mama so fat, when she asked for a water bed they put a blanket over the Pacific Ocean.