Worst Jokes Ever
I stole one's balls.
What is easier to pick up the heavier it gets?
Women.
Why was the math book so sad? Because it was filled with problems.
If a midget with down syndrome shows up late for work, is it okay to say she's a little tardy?
What do you call a group of black people in a shed?
Antique farm equipment.
Once I tried to tell my friend a joke about dead people... but it went six feet underground...
What has 50 legs but can't walk?
25 disabled kids.
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor? Dark humor would be saying, "ten babies in one trashcan." Morbid humor would be saying, "one baby in ten trashcans."
What do Princess Diana and a landmine have in common? Both are easy to lay. Both costly and time-consuming to get rid of.
What did Saint Peter say to Diana when she got to the pearly gates? "Wipe that Merc off your face."
Grandpa: "Sonny, let me tell you something. There's only one damn thing in this whole world worse than Alzheimer's."
Boy: "What's that?"
Grandpa: "What's what?"
MVP means: “Most Valuable Player.”
In Chuck Norris' case: “Most Vaginas Penetrated”.
What do you say to a girl with two black eyes?
Nothing, you told her twice.
What are the two hottest cities in the world? Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
Why are most firefighters men? Because they like to find hot places and leave them wet.
John Lennon: "What a nice view."
John walked outside.
He got shot.
:skull:
Why cant asian parents have a white child? Cuz 2 wongs dont make a white
Royal aka ZEPHYR gets cucked daily by Tyrone.
ZEPHYR watches Tyrone give his wife the genes he could never give her. What a loser.
Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up. Class: *no one stands up* Teacher: Oh c'mon. I know someone over here is dumb. *waves her finger around the left side of the room* Little Johnny: *stands up* Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you're dumb? Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you're standing alone.
Ever heard of a rape victim with Alzheimer's?
Yeah, neither have they.
I was at a funeral for some kids in a school shooting. I don’t understand why everyone was so sad, so I asked a lady, "what’s so sad?" and she said, "What do you think was running through these kid’s head before they died?" I replied, "probably a bullet." She gasped and said, "do you have any idea how insensitive that is? What do you think is running through their parent’s heads?" I said "probably all the money they're losing from this funeral."