Worst Jokes Ever
What's the definition of trust?
Two cannibals giving each other blowjobs.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
An orphan girl wanted a family so she was raped until pregnant. Problem solved.
DAD: I'm bringing your toys to the orphanage.
SON: Why?
DAD: You're going to need them.
What's the best way to cure the hiccups? Suicide.
A man is consoling his nine-year-old daughter after she had been sexually assaulted.
"You need to be more careful," he said as he wrapped his arm around her, "this time it was me, next time it could be a total stranger."
I bought some sneakers from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been trippin' all day.
What’s the difference between an emo and grass? The grass doesn’t cut itself :D
Kid sees their grandma taking pills and asks...
"Grandma, why do you need to take all those pills?"
"Well, Grandma needs to take the green medicine for her headaches, but the green pills give her diarrhea. So grandma needs to take the yellow pills for diarrhea, but those pills always make grandma very depressed. Because of her depression, grandma needs to take the black pills, but those always give her high blood pressure. To cure the high blood pressure, grandma has to take the red pills, but those make her always very horny. That's why grandpa has to take the blue pills."
We shouldn't joke about rape, because rape is no laughing matter...
Unless you're being raped by a clown.
Is Google a male or female?
Female because it doesn’t let you finish your sentences before making a suggestion.
I googled "How to start a wildfire." I got 48,500 matches.
Give a like if I have no friends.
What does one math book say to the other? -- "Don't bother me. I've got my own problems!"
Have you ever tried North Korean food?
Neither have the North Koreans.
What do you call a physically handicapped heterosexual man that is in a wheelchair and German?
A physically handicapped promiscuous heterosexual man that is German.
If we can't see air, can fish see water?
Me traveling back in time to tell Americans there will be a big tsunami on 9/11/2001, and to survive it they have to climb the two tallest buildings in New York.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter, he won't come anyway.
A son walks up to his dad and says, "Dad! I just had sex for the first time."
The dad goes, "Great! Wanna sit down and talk about it?"
The son says, "I can't sit right now, my butt is very sore."