Worst Jokes Ever
I am a registered sex offender. I'm just playing, I'm not registered yet.
I have a stepladder. My real ladder left for milk and never came back.
Last night, I had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it was just a Fanta sea!
Wanna hear a joke about the Flash?
"Never mind, it's too fast."
What do you call a white guy with a 10 inch cock?
Asleep. Because that motherfucker's dreaming.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said, "I know you wanna." Jack undressed, and she pulled up her dress so they could have some fun. But stupid Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
A Christian Missionary walks up to some people and says, "Come! Meet Jesus!"
One of the guys takes out a knife and says, "You first."
My son is so ungrateful. I bought him a trampoline and all he does is sit in his wheelchair and cry all day.
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? That's a silly question. Feminists can't change anything.
Jimmy does stand up comedy. He says, "What do you call an orangutan?"
Jake replies, "YOU!" Then everyone, including the teacher, laughs. Jimmy cries.
LOL
How do you know you've found a priest? When little Timmy is glued to his crotch.
What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
Spareribs!
What is the difference between an orphan and Pikachu?
"Pikachu, I choose you!"
If Stephen Hawking was so fucking smart, why hasn't he learned to walk yet?
Today in 3rd grade English, the teacher asked the kids a question, "What turns on when you take your clothes off?"
Little Elsa blushed and screamed, "You can't ask that!"
The English teacher repeats the question and Elsa screams, "I'll tell my parents on you and get you fired!"
Finally, Little Tim raises his hand, "The shower, ma'am."
The English teacher clapped her hands, "Good job, Tim, and as for you Elsa, you do not have the body for that."
What do you call a Sikh man standing on a rope? Balan Singh.
Yo mama's feet are so fat, she had to wear a sock on each toe.
Little Johnny went on a camping trip. All the tents were taken, so he shared with the teacher. So Little Johnny says: "Can I play with your bellybutton? My mom always lets me when we camp." So the teacher says: "Sure." 5 minutes later the teacher says: "Woah, woah, woah that's not my bellybutton!" Little Johnny says: "Woah, woah, woah, that's not my finger."
My wife left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what she's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!
Why was the astronaut washing her hands?
She was getting ready to eat launch.