Worst Jokes Ever
How do you trick a Catholic priest into using the glory hole at an adult bookstore? Tell him it is a confessional booth.
What kind of fish comes out at night?
A starfish.
What do you call Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan.
When meeting her parents doesn't require you to leave the house.
What do you call shaving a crazy sheep? -- Shear madness.
A blind guy walks into a bar.
A man walks into a bar. He takes a seat and asks the barman if he wanted to hear a blonde joke. The barman replies, "Before you tell this joke, I want to tell you something. See the woman over there? She is a black belt in karate, she's blonde. See the bouncer over there? He is also a blonde. See the chick over there with that pool cue? She is also blonde. Also, I have a shotgun behind the bar. I'm blonde. So do you still want to tell your joke?" He replies, "F**k that. I ain't explaining the joke 4 times."
I told a diabetic boy to have sweet dreams, and he died the next morning.
I was asked at school to draw a line across the paper, but instead I showed them my wrists.
Why did Stephen Hawking go to hell?
Because he couldn’t climb up the stairs to heaven.
When your sad don’t feel down about yourself break someone’s leg and laugh.
My first high-school football game was a lot like my first time having sex...
I was bloody and sore at the end, but at least my dad came.
what do you call a lazy gay?
someone who comes straight out of the closet, and goes straight to the couch.
MVP means: “Most Valuable Player.”
In Chuck Norris' case: “Most Vaginas Penetrated”.
I am a big fan of whiteboards. I find them quite re-markable.
I tried to high-five my emo friend, but he just left me hanging.
My wife said I didn’t listen to a single thing she says.
What a weird way to start a conversation!
They said I was depressed, I should make an effort to do what I love.
I had to pay a hooker for twelve hours work.
... I felt nothing, but it was nice, being with someone who felt the same.
A man walked into a library. He asked the librarian, "Have you got a book on how to commit suicide?" The librarian replied, "No, you'd never bring it back!"
What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
Spareribs!