Worst Jokes Ever
My dad is like Hurricane Katrina. I haven’t seen either since 2005.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun? Special Forces.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite drink?
Milk, because his parents never came back with it.
Why can't a t-rex clap?
Because it's dead.
I named my daughter Kennedy so when I talked about how her brain was shot out of her head, people just thought I paid really close attention in history.
Why do orphans hate milk? Cause their family is still shopping for it!
When is it acceptable to hit a dwarf?
When he dances with your wife and says her hair smells nice...
Your mom is so ugly. When she goes to the dentist, they make her face down.
Hell hates freezers, England, and soccer.
What's the difference between an emo and my clothes?
My clothes don't hang themselves.
Carrie Underwood and ChatGPT are not the same. ChatGPT is able to create a soul.
What's an Emo's favorite drink?
Water, JK it's cyanide.
Olivia Rodrigo
A blind man walks into a woman's bar and asks the person next to him if she would like to hear a blonde joke. The woman says, "Before you tell your joke, you should know the bartender is blonde and has a shotgun, the bouncer is blonde and has a baseball bat, the two playing music are blonde and have pistols. Do you still want to tell that joke, cowboy?" He thought for a second and said, "Not if I have to explain it five times."
Why does Michael Jackson wear a white glove?
So he won't bite his fingers when he eats a tootsie roll.
How do we know that the ocean is friendly? It waves.
Confucius say, female pilot who fly upside down have crack up.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? He ran out of data.
A man walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist, "May I have a bottle of arsenic, please?" She is shocked. "Why would you want something like that?" The man calmly tells her, "I want to poison my unfaithful wife and her lover." The pharmacist is now horrified. She said, "I can not possibly give you that. It is completely illegal and I would lose my license and be prosecuted for conspiracy and murder!" At this point the man hands the pharmacist a photo of his unfaithful wife having sex with the pharmacist's husband. She examines it then looks up at him. "Oh. I didn't know you had a prescription."
My daughter is the most adorable little girl in the world. She's got my sister's eyes.