Worst Jokes Ever
Whenever my grandparents apologize, I say "forgive and forget". They are really obedient.
What do Spiderman and an orphan have in common? They both have no way home.
How do you make any salad into a caesar salad?
Stab it twenty-three times.
what do you call a drunken sailer?
arrested.
Who says white people can't jump?
Have you seen the 911 footage?
Yesterday in my dream I ate a ten pound marshmallow, when I woke up, my pillow was gone.
I gave a blind kid a gun, telling him it was a hair drier.
What's the difference between me and a registered sex offender?
I am not registered.
What type of people think rape jokes are funny?
Only the coolest people in the world! I fucking love you guys 😂
We need more women in the military! They can bleed for weeks and still not die!
I wasn't cut out for running today, but those cops came out of nowhere.
Lil Jimmy: Hey doc.
Doctor: Hi, sorry but I can’t see you anymore.
Lil Jimmy: Why?
Doctor: Because, Lil Jimmy, I’m a family doctor, you're an orphan.
Lil Jimmy: 👁👄👁🖕
What do you call someone in a wheelchair being pushed by a cannibal?
A to-go order.
What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common? They both like fairies sitting on them.
How do emos propose?
"Would you like to join my family tree?"
"What does the word 'gay' mean?" asked a son of his father.
"It means 'happy'," replied the father.
"Oh," contested the son, "so you are gay then?"
"No, son, I have a wife."
What's a pedophile's favorite part of a hockey game? Before the first period starts.
Why are orphans only able to have iPhone X's? Because it doesn't have a home button.
I swear, in America, one school shooter can take good care of hundreds of kids, but hundreds of soldiers can't even win a war. Might as well send all your school shooters over there.
Why did the woman throw her bills out the window? She wanted to send them via airmail.