Worst Jokes Ever
Book on Michael Jackson: Issued black; returned white.
What's the difference between Johnny Depp and an Aussie bloke in Bali?
Both are expert drunks, but the Aussie is 100 times better kept. Johnny Depp, in contrast, looks like a demented leader of a violent drug cartel.
What is a briefcase?
A short lawsuit.
What do you call a Mexican that hung him self? a pinata
No one cares if you bully an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Why are Americans bad chess players?
They lost 2 towers.
What is an orphan's favorite game? Sims, so they can make a family to have.
Why is Donald Trump so jealous of Usain Bolt?
Because he successfully finished a race!
What's Juice WRLD's favorite place to shop at?
Answer: Forever 21.
Q: What's the best part about gardening?
A: Getting down and dirty with your hoes.
A teacher says, "If you have one dollar and your parents give you 5 dollars, how much do you have?"
Everyone raised their hands except for a little girl in the front, but the teacher called on her anyway.
The girl said, "My parents left me, so I would have one dollar."
These jokes are weak like the structure of the towers.
Sometimes I feel ugly, but then I think of my sister and I feel better.
what's the difference between a dog and a dad? The dog comes back.
Mom: "I gave you life and you should be able to wash dishes."
Me: "Why did you?"
Mom: "I was very drunk..."
Explains a lot...
When the Lego box says 6-99 years but you eat it in 20 minutes.
What’s one thing you can say at a funeral and during sex?
She was too young.
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? That's a silly question. Feminists can't change anything.
A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an expedition to the Amazon Forest. After a while, they get lost. As they are walking, suddenly the bushes jump up into the air and men with spears are there. One man says, "Hey, you're in our sacred land. So what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren't that crazy, so we will let you choose how you die."
The man from France said, "Bring me the poison."
The man from Britain said, "Bring me the gun."
And the man from New York said, "Bring me a fork."
The guy was confused with the fork but still brought the items and gave them to them.
The guy from France said, "For France!" And drank the poison and died.
The man from Britain said, "Long live the queen!" And shot himself and died.
And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said, "Make a canoe out of this, you fuckers!"
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.