Worst Jokes Ever

How do you win an argument against an emo?

Kick the chair!

Why are there only 363 days in an orphan's calendar? They don't have Father's or Mother's Day.

Son: Can I go to my friend's mum? Mum: No! Son: Dad was right, I am a son of a bitch! Mum: Bad news, but you're adopted!!

Actually, Iron Man is female.

Stormtrooper: What should we do with this coffee?

Palpatine: Brew it!

I will always remember my grandpa's last words. "Shit, the ladder is falling!"

Roses are red, don’t touch the toys, these are what the priests use to lure in the boys.

Did you hear about the cannibal who passed his brother in the woods?

Fat people are the reason we have double doors.

What do you call a group of transgender women? Ex-Men.

I can make 9/11 jokes, but every time I do, they crash and burn.

Roses are red, Violets are red, Sunflowers are red,

HOLY SHIT, MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

It's always fun to take anti-depressants, you either choose to take one, or the whole bottle.

There are people who are beautiful, and then there are people whom I won't rape.

What do you call depressed coffee?

Despresso ;)

Helen Keller walked into a bar, and a table, and chairs.

What do you call a depressed emo? Dead.

Everyone's always saying they're so worried about America's big button, the one that controls all the nuclear power. I'm not worried about that... I'm worried about the idiot on the end of it.

I have just started a sexual relationship with a blind woman. It's very rewarding, but quite challenging.

Took me ages to get her husband's voice right.

The worst part about church is that you're constantly switching between sitting, standing, and kneeling. I mean, why can't the priest just pick a position and f**k me already!