Worst Jokes Ever
Why does Michael Jackson do positions with kids in photos? Because they won’t do the same for him.
What do you call a musician 👩🎤 who drinks soda and sings 🎤 at the same time?
A popsinger.
What does my arm have in common with paper?
They both can be cut.
What does BLM stand for?
Bisexual Lives Matter.
2,996 kill streak, boom!
What do lesbians and turtles have in common? They both choke on plastic.
The only time rape jokes are okay; is when they aren't forced.
What do orphans call family pictures?
A selfie.
My fondest childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather. That is, until my mom took the urn away from me.
Why do orphans hate going to Costco? Because they need a parent to get samples.
When I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, they got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
When the cannibal was late for dinner, he got the cold shoulder.
So, an Irish man is walking his poodle, and his buddy comes running up to him saying there’s a new pub in town and they’re giving out free pints.
So the man picks up his dog and runs like hell to the bar. But the bar owner stops him and says, "Sorry, you can’t go in." The Irish man says, "Why can’t I go in?" "Well, you have a dog, sir, and that sign over there says no dogs allowed. You’re going to have to leave him outside." Well, the Irish man thinks quick and says, "I’m blind; it’s a seeing eye dog." The owner says, "That’s ridiculous. A seeing eye dog would be a German shepherd or golden Labrador or something like that." The Irish man says, "Well, what kind of dog did they give me??"😂
A drunk man walked out of a bar and kept falling flat on his face. He wondered why this was until his wife spoke to him:
Wife: "Why is your face all bloody?"
Husband: "I was so drunk that I couldn't stand up, so I kept falling on my face!"
Wife: "Idiot. You left your wheelchair at the bar!"
911 jokes usually go over my head.
Then it hits me.
What is the difference between Catholics and Lutherans?
Catholics are registered sex offenders.
What was the last thing going through the minds of the 9/11 jumpers?
Their ankles.
A black lady goes inside the drug store and asks the pharmacist, "Do you carry tampons?" Then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "Do you want the mini pads or the maxi pads?"
And then the black lady asks the pharmacist, "What is the difference?"
And then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "What is your flow like?"
And then the black lady tells the pharmacist, "Linoleum."
What is a retard's favorite race? The grand autismo.
What cookies did the orphans never try?
Home made cookies!