Worst Jokes Ever
It isn't rap music if it isn't about rape.
Crush: "How much do you love me?"
Me: "Well, look at the stars outside."
Crush: "But it's morning."
Me: "Exactly."
What do you get when you have 10 chicken nuggets and little Jimmy tries to take one?
10 chicken nuggets and a dead little Jimmy.
Yo girl... do you like squirrels, because I'm about to nut in your hole.
What did the dime say to the penny? At least I have more cents than you.
"When is the best time to commit suicide?"
Ate a Glock in the morning.
What do you call a dog that tells time?
A watchdog.
I have no father. Like if you relate.
Police: Where do you live? Child: With my parents.
Police: Where do your parents live? Child: With me.
Police: Where do you all live? Child: Together.
Police: Where is your house? Child: Next to my neighbor's house.
Police: Where is your neighbor's house? Child: If I tell you, would you believe me?
Police: Yes. Now tell me. Child: Next to my house.
Police: ... Child: 😊
Police: *Proceeds to beat the life out of the child*
Did you hear about the dyslexic couple who were struggling to have sex? They kept doing the 96 positions.
My girlfriend told me she used to be a Christian. I asked her why she isn't anymore and she said she liked the name Christina better.
What do you call a skeleton with no friends? Bonely.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to climb Mt. Dew.
What is the speed limit for sex? 68, because if you go any faster, you’ll have to turn around.
Why don't Chinese children believe in Santa?
Because they're the ones making the toys.
What did the make-a-wish kid say to the staff? "I don't wanna go to Disneyland, I wanna live longer."
Once you go Asian, you can solve the equation.
What do you call a deaf animal?
Anything, it can't hear you.
Did you hear about the lesbian midget? She probably came out of the cabinet.
I don’t like making jokes about 9/11. My grandad died in it, he was the greatest pilot I ever knew.