Worst Jokes Ever
It's the season of giving, so I'll be giving up!
How to kill a blind person.
Give them a gun and tell them it's a hairdryer.
I'm jealous of your heart because it's pumping in you and I'm not.
Dark humor is like parents. Not everyone gets it.
I never wanted to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.
But when I got home, all the signs were there.
Your mama is so ugly, she tried summoning Candyman, but he refused to come!
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
"But why?" they asked, as they moved off.
"Because," he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."
I'm not saying I hate you, but if you got hit by a bus, I'd be driving that bus.
Why did the library book go to the doctor?
It needed to be checked out.
I told my friend that if he ever wants 50% off something at a store, just to take me with him and scan my wrist.
Sleep, but make it forever.
How did the retard get hurt raking the leaves?
Fell out of the tree.
What's red and green and goes 100 miles per hour? A frog in a blender.
What did the trans woman say after finally telling her parents about her surgeries?
“It felt really good to get that off my chest.”
What's the difference between apples and orphans? Apples actually get picked.
I made a website for orphans, but sadly it didn't have a home page.
So, some ants in a colony go to war. They want some more troops and know that there are ants that went to wars as well. They call them war-ants.
They start barging into homes to search for more war-ants. They barge into a home, and the lady-ant goes, "Hey, why are you here? Can you please leave?" One of the ants replies with, "I'm sorry, but unless you have a war-ant, we have to keep searching your house."
You see a kid on the side of the street crying, so you go up to them and say, "Where are your parents?" The kid says, "What are parents?"
Who is the man behind all lives matter?
Michael Jackson.
Why did Mia Khalifa become so famous?
Because she blew up.
Friend: “What's that on your arm?”
Me: “Oh, nothing. Just decided I wanted to cosplay a tiger.”