Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Oven

    • Roses are red, eggs come in a dozen, do I need to revive Hitler to teach you how to use a goddamn oven?

  • 1

    • Mario

    • Don't be racist! BE LIKE MARIO!

    He's an Italian plumber, created by the Japanese, who speaks English, and looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew.

  • 11

    • Abortion

    • My pregnant wife said we were gonna name the kid Digiorno. She wouldn't tell me why until she got an abortion and told me, "It's not delivery, it's Digiorno."

  • 1

    • Hopscotch

    • So there's a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says, "Step on a crack and you break your mother's back." The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother's back breaking.

    The little girl's father looks in terror, she then says, "Step on a line and you break your father's spine." The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out "OW MY SPINE!" The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.

  • 6

    • Man

    • What do you call physically handicapped, homophobic, heterosexual men and women in wheelchairs?

    Mixed nuts.

  • 5

    • Baby

    • A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you."

  • 5