Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Quote

  • Ruin a quote by attributing it to the wrong person.

    "Don't cry because it is over. Smile because it happened." -Adolf Hitler, 1945.

  • 1
  • Anal Sex

  • Patient: “Doctor, my bottom hurts.”

    Doctor: “Can you tell me exactly where it hurts?”

    Patient: “Right around the entrance.”

    Doctor: “As long as you call it the entrance, it will hurt.”

  • 0
  • Depression

  • Doctor: What makes you feel depressed?

    Me: I used to work at the World Trade Center, before the plane hit.

    Doctor: A lot of people fell to pieces after that.

  • 0
  • Letter

  • Someone told me that you can let out all your anger by writing letters about everyone you hate and then burning them... But I was just wondering... should I keep the letters?

  • 17
  • Horse

  • Little Johnny and his dad were going to buy a horse.

    Dad: Rubbing on the horse’s chest and butt.

    Little Johnny: What are you doing?

    Dad: Checking to see if the horse is healthy so I can buy it.

    Little Johnny: Oh well, I think the mall man wants to buy mom.

  • 2
  • Johnny

  • So, Johnny was working at a deli. A woman walks up and asks, "Do you have any salad?" Johnny says, "No." She asks, "What about carrots?" Again, Johnny says, "No." She says, "What about bananas?" Johnny says, "Tell ya what, spell out 'lad' in salad." She spells, "L A D." Johnny replies, "Spell 'rot' in carrot." She spells, "R O T." Johnny says, "Now spell 'fuck' in vegetables or fruits." She says, "There is no 'fuck' in vegetables or fruits." Johnny exclaims, "That's what I've been trying to tell you!"

  • 7
  • Cellar

  • What does a kid and wine have in common?

    Shit, I forgot, but they're both locked in my cellar right now.

  • 0
  • Cow

  • A couple of cows were smoking a joint and playing cards...

    The steaks were pretty high.

  • 0
  • Missing child

  • Me: Brings in missing child.

    Police: OMG this kid has been missing for 3 months. Here is your reward.

    Me: Oh, cool.

    NEXT DAY

    Me: Brings in 8 other kids.

    Police :0 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • 4
  • Mexico

  • Why does Mexico not have a good athletics team? Because anyone who can run or jump is already over the wall.

  • 0