Worst Jokes Ever
I tried being an emo, but I never got the hang of it.
What do bicycles and slaves have in common? They both use chains to work.
What is the difference between an illegal immigrant and E.T.?
E.T. eventually went home!
What did Stevie Wonder's mom do to punish him as a child?
She rearranged all the furniture.
Friend #1: "Yo guys, what's the most unfair game you've ever played? For me it's Fortnite."
Friend #2: "I'd have to say Monopoly."
Me: "The most unfair game you say? Life, definitely. Like, no one wins, it's a one-way game."
Friend #2: "Uhh...that's not exactly what he meant..."
Friend #1: *calls the suicide hotline*
What do the initials ACLU stand for?
🤔
American Communist Lawyers Union.
Why did the chicken go to KFC? ... To visit his family.
Why is Santa's sack so big?
Because he only cums once a year.
A Roman walks into a bar.
He holds up two fingers and says, "Give me five beers."
What falls to the ground first if an apple and an emo kid fall from a tree?
The apple because the rope caught the emo kid.
What’s the difference between emos and Hitler?
Hitler didn’t post on social media when he wanted to kill himself.
Trevor Bauer for President.
Susie was in her mother's room one night, as her mother was getting ready for bed. She had slipped off her blouse; her boobs, plum and perky. Susie had asked what are those and will I get them? Her mother had said they were boobs and she would grow some in a few years. Her mother told Susie to find her father and say goodnight.
So Susie left, headed down the hall to the bathroom where her father was showering. Susie knocked on the door, he said come in. He had moved the shower curtain over just a bit. Susie said she loved him, and then seen her father's dick. Shocked, Susie asked her father what that was and if she would get one. Her father said it was a dick, and he said Susie would get it after her mother went to bed.
where do suicide bombers go when they die? everywhere!
It is reported that when Churchill met Stalin at Yalta, they discussed their hobbies.
Churchill said: "I collect the jokes people tell me about me."
"That's a coincidence," said Stalin, "I collect the people who tell jokes about me."
What’s the worst thing about having a daughter with cancer?
You can’t pull on her hair when you’re raping her.
Jack and Jill went up the hill. So Jack could lick her candy.
But Jack got a shock and a mouthful of cock.
Because Jill's real name was Randy.
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"Father replied, "I don't know, son. I'm still paying."
What is the most dangerous mountain? Kilimanjaro.
To the guy who stole my depression medication,
I hope you're happy.