Worst Jokes Ever
A blonde, redhead, and brunette are all sitting in a hospital's waiting room for ultrasounds.
After a while, the brunette giggles while rubbing her belly. Both the blonde and redhead look over at her and ask, "What's with the giggling?"
The brunette replies, "I'm having a boy!"
The blonde and the redhead ask, "How do you know?"
"Because he was on top!" The brunette replies again.
The three go back to conversing, and then the redhead starts to giggle while rubbing her belly.
"What's with the giggling?" The blonde and brunette ask.
"I'm having a girl!" The redhead replies.
"Well, how do you know?" The blonde and brunette ask again.
"I was on top!"
All of a sudden, the blonde bursts into tears.
"Oh, honey! What's wrong?" The redhead and brunette ask.
"I'm having puppies!"
My therapist told me, "Time to heal all wounds," so I shot him in the nuts.
Now we wait...
An old lady in the bank told me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
You look nice, and you seem like good fun, so if I give you this flower, will you finger my bum?
What did the two crewmates say when they were hanging on a rope? Polus up!
Why can't England play chess? Because they lost their queen!
If only they had more mosquito nets in Africa, we could prevent millions of mosquitos dying needlessly of AIDS...
My girlfriend told me to stop playing Pokemon as it was childish.
I started thrashing about and roared, “You don’t have enough badges to control me!”
A woman walks into a supermarket and sees a blind man swinging a dog around in the air. So, the woman walks up to him and asks, "What are you doing?" The man says, "Just having a look around."
Mom, mom, I'm holding my little brother's hand..... Little Johnny, good! But he's not born yet.
Q: Do you know why black people have nightmares?
A: Because we shot the last one who had a dream.
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his wife?
He wiped.
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor? Dark humor would be 10 babies in one trashcan. Morbid humor would be one baby in ten trashcans.
Guys, we should stop making jokes about orphans. Their parents will get mad. Oh.... Wait... Continue.
What does a cannibal and a spider have in common?
Both have eight legs.
What's Thanos' favorite game?
Half-life.
What’s the difference between orphans and blind children?
None. Neither can see their parents.
How did the farmer find his lost cow? He tractor down.
What song do orphans hate the most? "We are family."
My only friend who actually cares: "Stop making suicide jokes, I’m really concerned!"
Me: Okay, I’ll cut it out.