Worst Jokes Ever
Warning, this is dark.
How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch? Give 'em a Sandy Hook.
I told the emo girl that I bet she's jealous of the hanging lights in the gym.
How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
Kick his sister in the jaw.
An Indian guy and an American guy in a wheelchair met in a bar for drinks.
The American guy got drunk and fell on the sidewalk.
The Indian guy got drunk and walked away.
What is a kidnapper's favorite shoe?
White Vans.
"Have you taken a bath?"
"No. Why, did one go missing?"
What do planets like to read? Comet books!
Shit! My neighborhood barber just got arrested for selling drugs! I've been his customer for 4 years, but I had no idea he was a barber.
Chuck Norris threw one Pokéball and caught 'em all.
After an explosion at a French cheese factory... all that was left was De Brie.
I was playing football and this guy comes to me, he was in a wheelchair.
We started playing rocket league.
I don't struggle with depression, I'm used to it.
To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket, "You can hide but you can't run."
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping up onions, which made me cry.
Onions was a good dog.
The bible says to love your neighbors as you love yourself.
So I treat everyone like garbage.
Me and my wife were out at dinner. Me being 48 and her being 19, people were screaming at us and calling me a creep. It really ruined our 10th anniversary.
What movie do orphans relate to the most?
Spider-Man: No Way Home
You'll end up DEAD if you don't stop COFFIN!!!
Knock, knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimer's has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.
You got a dig bick.
You read that wrong.
You read that wrong too.
Maybe you read that wrong as well.
You just went and back-checked.
You reread all of that.
You have a pet wussy.
You read that wrong...
You need mental help.