Worst Jokes Ever
Me: Hey, do you want to see my grandma?
Friend: Yeah, sure.
Me: *pulls out gun*
I tried to take a picture of some fog. I mist.
I'm starting a new charity where homosexuals help the extremely handicapped.
I'm calling it "Fruits and Vegetables".
Where do you find a turtle with no legs? Right where you left it.
I’m giving in my two week resignation to life... it’s not you ... it’s me!!!
Three children play hide and seek. Their names are Silence, Anger, and Parent. Anger counts. Parent hides in the trash. Silence is at the police station.
A policeman looks at Silence and asks: "What is your name?" Silence replies: "Silence." Terrified, the policeman asks: "Where are your parents?" Silence then replies: "Parent is in the trash!" The policeman then asks indignantly: "Are you looking for Trouble?" Silence replies: "No, in fact, Anger finds me."
Expectation: "Brr, I’m cold!" "Here brother! I’ll give you my jacket, I don’t want you to be cold!"
Reality: "Brr, I’m cold!" "Well, damn bro, I can’t control the weather."
Knock knock. Who's there? Parents. Parents who? That's what an orphan would say.
Why didn't the toilet paper make it across the road?
It got stuck in a crack.
What do astronauts eat off of? A satellite dish.
What's in a Michael Jackson hotdog?
A 50-year-old piece of meat.
A 12-year-old bun.
If you want to SH but not in the sell farm way, come ooon.. do you even know what does that means?..
What does an Al Qaeda terrorist and a flexible man have in common?
They can blow themselves up.
Can you imagine the last thing that went through the minds of 911 victims?
Well, probably their kneecaps.
Bully: I'm going to hurt you so bad.
You: Well... your IQ is the same amount of teeth I'm about to knock out, so... you're so dumb that you can't even do that.
And your IQ is 5.
Chuck Norris was shot with a gun. The bullet was critically injured.
What do JFK’s killer and a prostitute have in common?
“They both blow heads.”
Your hairline goes all the way back to when Burger King was a Burger Prince.
I entered 10 puns into a pun contest, hoping one would win, but no pun in ten did.
There was a kidnapping, but he woke up.