
Worst Jokes Ever
Why do orphans get to watch rated R movies? Because their parents can't stop them.
So there's a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says, "Step on a crack and you break your mother's back." The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother's back breaking.
The little girl's father looks in terror, she then says, "Step on a line and you break your father's spine." The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out "OW MY SPINE!" The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.
What do you call a gang of emo kids?
Suicide Squad.
What happens when Rick Astley is getting an erection whilst singing "Never Gonna Give You Up"?
You get PRICKrolled.
I was at a funeral for some kids in a school shooting. I don't understand why everyone was so sad, so I asked a lady, "what's so sad?" and she said "What do you think was running through these kid's heads before they died?" I replied "probably a bullet". She gasped and said "do you have any idea how insensitive that is? What do you think is running through their parent's heads?" I said "probably all the money they're losing from this funeral."
Sometimes I feel ugly, then I think of my sister and get over it.
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 20 people, then it exploded.
How do you name a disabled Asian?
Throw the wheelchair down the stairs.
He sing, he dance, he he.
Serial murderer Ed Gein was famed for raping, killing, and skinning his victims.
When he was asked why he did it, he responded, "You don't know someone until you walk around in their skin."
Yo mama's so fat that she doesn't need the internet because she is already worldwide.
So, I was on the phone with a scam caller. He said he knew where I lived and would kill my children and wife. Jokes on him, I already did.
I don't like 9/11 jokes; they have a tendency to crash and burn.
Fun fact: Most of the black holes in the universe are found in Africa!
Flat earthers are completely wrong. If the earth was flat, I would have yeeted myself off the edge years ago!
When Bubba's condom broke, he spent a lot of sleepless nights wondering if he was going to be an uncle or a dad.
What is the day parents stopped fearing for their little boys? June 25, dead pedo day.
What did the plane say to the tower?
"Give me a kiss."
Q. What's an orphan's favorite South Park episode?
A. The anti-Family Guy episode.
What's the difference between yo mama and a fat ugly pig? - I never fucked that fat ugly pig...