Worst Jokes Ever
What was Michael Jackson's favorite word to say to parents and tabloids? "Leave me alone."
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have no one to call daddy.
Chuck Norris can pick an apple from an orange tree and make the best lemonade you've ever tasted.
What’s the difference between depression and your ex?
Depression fucks you harder.
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when you push them down the stairs.
Why do cemeteries have fences around them? People are dying to get in.
Helen Keller walked into a bar.
Then a table.
Then a chair.
Son: “Dad, did you get the results of the DNA test back?”
Dad: “Call me George.”
Life is like a penis: simple, soft, relaxed, and hanging free, until a woman comes around and makes it hard.
Teacher: I was an orphan once.
Student: Oof.
Teacher: Who are we missing?
Student: Your parents.
I bought a guh on the weekend.
(what's a guh?)
GUHZZLE DEEZ NUTS! 🥜 🔩 🌰
What song did the Titanic victims listen to as they died?
Ice, Ice Baby!!
A: Why are you so sad?
B: I was watching porn, and all of a sudden my wife opened the door.
A: Ok, I see, but is that really such a big deal?
B: I mean, she opened the door in the movie.
What is the most popular fish in the ocean? "A starfish."
My penis was in the Guinness Book of World Records. -- Then the librarian told me to take it out.
What did the dick say to the condom?
Cover me, I'm going in. 😚😏
Bully: "Nobody loves you."
Me: "Aww, it must have hurt when your mom told you that."
What's the only part of a vegetable you cannot eat?
Wheelchair.
Why do orphans wanna be a criminal?
So that they can be wanted.
Titanic, doing the polar plunge before it was cool.