Worst Jokes Ever
What do you say to a depressed special kid?
“Why so down?”
Dinosaurs are like my dad. I never got to see either of them, and they are now extinct.
What's an orphan's favorite movie?
"Home Alone."
A good dog name is Syndrome. That way when it tries attacking, you can yell, "Down, Syndrome!"
An orphan's first word would be "orphan keeper."
Friends are like trees, they fall over if you hit them with an ax.
Why is America better than Japan at rapping?
Because we're better at dropping bombs.
- I think you're EGGcellent.
+ Wow... You really CRACK ME UP with that joke. I think you're a EGGxtraordinary comedian.
- Really? Are you done yet?.
+ Are you kidding? I have a DOZEN of them.
What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?
I don't know, he hasn't opened it yet.
Why can't Asians play cricket? They'll eat the bat.
Jesus and Moses come back to Earth.
Moses says, "Let's go down to the ocean and see if I can do what I used to when I was here before." So Moses raises his arms and motions to part the waters. Sure enough, he is able to part the waters just as before.
Jesus quips, "Close the water, I'm going to try to do what I used to when I was here last." So Jesus walks out on top of the water, then sinks to the bottom. He crawls out pulling seaweed off of him. Moses says, "Hey, it's not your fault, you didn't have those holes in your feet before."
What do ghosts put on their bagels 🥯?
Scream Cheese 😱.
What’s the difference between a Ferrari and ten 6-year-olds?
I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.
Your career might be in the north, but it's going south :)
How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb? It takes two, but don't ask me how they get inside.
The doctor told me I'm color blind...
Me: That's out of the purple!
A Mexican runs into a wall, what hits first?
His lawnmower.
I know why Asian's eyes are always closed. It's because Americans are so fat and ugly.
Look, I'm innocent. I was just going on vacation in NY, but my co-pilot said: "Hit it with your best shot."
How do you know that the U.S. sucks at chess?
They lost two towers.