Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin mobile.
How do you confuse Helen Keller? You rearrange the furniture and glue doorknobs to the walls.
The cemetery sure is overcrowded today.
I guess people are dying to get in.
Two fish are in a tank. One says, "You man the guns, I'll drive!"
How to tell your kid he's adopted:
Son, I'm a virgin.
A couple is sitting down, holding hands, and having a picnic after their wedding when the husband's friend walks over and says,
"Jenny and Jonathan sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes abrupt, tragic miscarriage! Then comes blame. Then comes despair, two hearts damaged, beyond repair. Johnathan leaves Jenny, and writes on the tree: D-I-V-O-R-C-E."
What is the similarity between a joke and food? Some people just don't get them!
Segma says, "32!"
Ligma Says, "And?"
Segma says, "Anding deez balls to your mouth."
In my free time, I like to help blind people.
Verb, not adjective.
You know what’s impossible?
Steven Walking.
What movie does an orphan hate?
- No Way Home.
A depressed man buys a gun for suicide, but then thinks, "maybe I shouldn't be doing this," and asks a friend for help. He returns with a rope.
Yo mama so ugly when her parents had a gender reveal party the balloon came out green.
I recently became the coach of an orphanage baseball team.
Because I hate dealing with parents.
Doctor: I diagnose you with obesity.
Patient: It runs in the family.
Doctor: Nothing can run in your family.
Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.
The reason that girls are not allowed in boys' treehouses is because girls can't keep their mouths shut about boys taking turns sucking each other's hotdogs.
What store does an orphan hate?
Family Tree.
Two atoms are walking down the street, and they run into each other. One says to the other, "Are you all right?" "No, I lost an electron!" "Are you sure?" "Yeah, I’m positive!"
A boy with Down Syndrome was talking with his mom.
“Mom, why did God make me like this?” he said.
“It’s because God made you special,” she said.
“Just kidding, I was only talking about your needs.”