Worst Jokes Ever
it was just a prank bro.
One day I told my wife that she drew her eyebrows too high.
She looked surprised.
Yo mama so fat, when she took a picture of herself, her phone ran out of storage.
How does the man on the moon cut his hair?
Eclipses it!
What's worse than a dead baby?
A pile of dead babies.
What's worse than that?
The baby at the bottom of the pile is still alive.
What's worse than that?
The baby at the bottom of pile is eating its way out.
This one kid never stands up for the pledge of allegiance, and I'm tired of it.
Today, I push him out of his wheelchair.
I identify as kilometers per second because I want to km/s.
Someone in London is stabbed every two minutes. Poor guy.
Yo mama so stupid she threw a Mother's Day party at an orphanage.
Why couldn't the Japanese man give a high five?
Because Logan Paul left him hanging.
What's great about an emo pizza?
It cuts itself. Yay!
How do you circumcise a redneck?
You kick his sister in the jaw.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag? One's made of plastic and dangerous for kids to play with, and the other carries groceries.
Pinocchio goes to the doctor for a checkup. When he gets there, the doctor asks him, "Do you have cancer?" Pinocchio replies, "That was very straight up, but no, I’m pretty sure I don’t have cancer." After saying this, his nose grew.
What do LGBTQ folk and folk with scoliosis have in common?
None of them are straight.
I’d tell a sodium and hydrogen pun, but NaH.
I'll never forget my sister's last words. "Is it edible?"
Q: What did one emo kid say to the other emo kid?
A: Wanna hang out?
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.
I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.
What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.
Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.
What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We Are Family.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms.
What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin.
Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.
Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.
I had a good time with friends!