Worst Jokes Ever
Why does Peter Pan always fly? Because he Neverlands.
Suicide is just freedom, life is just full of pain... Sometimes if you're gone maybe somebody might notice. Feels like life is a maze and the only way to leave is the exit. Nobody notices your pain, your suffering, and that you try your best though everyone notices your mistakes. Life just feels like everyone hates you. Life for me is just faking smiles, I'm not sure how everyone lives such a good life.
Bully: "Nobody loves you."
Me: "Aww, it must have hurt when your mom told you that."
Incest.
When "slow down and apply more lube bro" REALLY means slow down and apply more lube bro.
Never tell an orphan about a family matter; they wouldn't understand.
Friend: "You are so ugly." Me: "You can't be talking, you give Freddy Krueger nightmares."
What do you get when I get mixed with coffee?
De-presso.
What is different about priests and acne?
Acne waits until you're 13 to cum on your face.
I got my COVID test today, it says 50. What does that mean? Also, my IQ test came back positive.
What's a ninja's favorite type of shoes?
Sneakers.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and touched Jill's thigh and said, "I know you wanna." Jill said yes, took off her dress, and then they had some fun. But silly Jill forgot her pills, and now they have a son.
I've just started reading my first ever Braille horror story, and I think that something scary is about to happen. I can feel it.
Where did JFK go in his car? I am not sure of his intentional destination, but he did go everywhere.
How do you embarrass an archaeologist? You give him a tampon and ask what period it's from.
Women are like blackjack. I’m trying for 21, but I always hit on 14.
Me: Man, I wish my clothes were emo.
Friend: Why?
Me: So they would hang themselves.
Nike isn't helpful for suicidal people. You can't tell them to "Just Do It."
What movie do all orphans find relatable?
Spiderman: No Way Home.
"I'm sorry" and "my bad" mean the same thing, unless you're at a funeral.
Like if you have a boyfriend, girlfriend, or husband, or wife, or a crush.