Worst Jokes Ever
You're so short, when you were born, the doctor couldn't tell if you were a boy, a girl, or a Jimmy Dean pork sausage.
Donald Trump wants to ban the sale of pre-shredded cheese.
He wants to make America grate again.
Your hairline receded like the girls did after the party.
Teacher: Kids, what does a chicken give you?
Students: Eggs.
Teacher: Very good. Now, what does the pig give you?
Kids: Bacon.
Teacher: Excellent. Now, what does the fat cow give you?
Kids: Homework.
Scientists have proven that there are two things in the air that have been known to cause women to get pregnant: their legs.
I cried when my dad was chopping onions. Onions was a good dog.
Violets are blue, roses are red.
Last night your mom was giving me head.
iran
I thought it was polite to open the door for a lady, but she just screamed and flew out of the plane.
Hi guys!
A man walks into a pharmacy and buys multiple containers of Tylenol, and the clerk asks why he's buying all of these. He replies with, "I'm playing 1 pill eat 100."
Little Johnny walked into the bathroom while his dad was taking a dump. As soon as Little Johnny walked in, his dad let out a big FART! Little Johnny said, “WHAT WAS THAT?” His dad said, “That was the sound of the north wind.” The next day his teacher asked the class, “What’s the direction of the north wind?” Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher called on him and he said, “TEACH IT’S MY DADDY’S BOOTY!”
You're so poor you wash paper plates.
Why did the United Nations stop the french government from using the guillotine in public?
because the french government was using the guillotine in public on newborn baby boys for circumcision.
Are you suicide? Because you are always on my mind.
What is Stephen Hawking best at in basketball?
dribbling.
Why can't an orphan be gay?
They have no one to call daddy.
Two boys were arguing in class one day when the teacher walked into the classroom.
The teacher asked them, "Why are you arguing?"
One of the boys replied, "We found a ten dollar bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie."
"You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher. "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was."
The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.
What do you not want to do when it comes to giving an emo a job?
Showing them the ropes.
I got jealous when my phone dies.