Worst Jokes Ever
What is black and sits at the top of the stairs? -- Steven Hawking after a house fire.
Depression is like having anxiety, but with more voices.
Billy: *spits out food*
Mom: BILLY! We swallow what we have in our mouths.
Dad: *looks at mom*
Mom: Shut up.
If you get it, you get it.
I made a website for orphans.
It doesn't have a home page.
When Elsa said, "Let it go," you took it too seriously and let go of your hairline.
Why do orphans like getting kidnapped? Because someone actually wants them. 🤣
Who can drink 20 liters of fuel without dying? A jerrycan.
Michael Jackson has done something no one has ever done before. I'm not talking about his record sales or tickets sold.
I'm talking about being born a black man and dying a white woman. Incredible!
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn't have the guts to do it.
You know how in Pinocchio the French puppets have the thigh rings?
Well, I got them too! Only red and thinner.
I offered to share a meal with a homeless person once, but he said, "Piss off and buy your own!"
Little Johnny went to school and right before class started, he pulled down his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." After that, his teacher told him to put on his pants and go to the office. The principal asked him what he did, so he pulled down his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." Then the principal called his mom. The mom got there and took little Johnny home.
They got in the car, and his mother asked, "Johnny, what did you do this time?" So Johnny pulled his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." Once they got home, his dad was off work and heard that Johnny was coming home early from school. Once again he asked Johnny what he did. Johnny pulled down his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." After that, his dad was surprised, so his dad pulled down his pants and said, "Big whale, big whale."
Why is prostitution illegal?
Because when it comes to screwing people and taking their money, the government doesn't want anyone outperforming them.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'd get in the van if I were you...
To whomever stole my anti-depression pills, I hope you're happy now.
What is the one thing cripples can't do? ... Stand-up comedy.
A guy barges into a psychiatrist’s office and screams, “Doctor! I have suicidal tendencies! What do I do?!”
The doctor calmly answers, “Pay me in advance.”
I would tell you a joke about unemployed people, but they don’t really work.
What do most 50-year-old men put inside their cars?
Children.
Once my dad left to get milk, then I realized we own a cow.