Worst Jokes Ever
What do the twin towers and my ex-girlfriend have in common? They both went down on my dad.
Necrophilia in Alabama is fun for the whole family, even grandma.
What do Drake and math have in common? They’re both hard for kids.
Me: (pointing up in the air) "Everybody listen up, this is a robbery!"
Girl: "Dude, this is a library."
Me: "Oh." (screwing on a silencer)
Guys, we shouldn't make jokes about 9/11. My dad was a victim.
He was the best pilot in Arab.
Remember what one of my gay friends told me: it's only cannibalism if you swallow.
Teacher: Who here has thought about committing suicide?
Half of the class: *raises hand*
Teacher: ...
The half of the class: *Starts talking about how they were thinking of doing it*
There is a lot of difference between a man and a woman saying, "I went through a whole box of tissues watching that movie."
What did the Indian boy say to his mother as he left for school? -- "Mumbai!"
BlessedBrian's autobiography would be titled "The Adventure of Watching Paint Dry."
What do you call a dog that tells time?
A watchdog.
What is a ghost's favorite cake?
I scream cake!
Why isn’t there a pregnant Barbie doll?
Ken came in a different box.
Could a parking garage also be called a broom closet?
Little Sally found out that she had hair on her private area and went up to her mom and asked, "Mom, I have hair on my privates, what is it?"
"Oh honey, that's your monkey," the mom says.
So little Sally runs up to her big sister and says, "My monkey has hair on it!" So the sister replies with a laugh, "You think that's cool? My monkey is already eating bananas!"
Mother, “Johnny, if you keep being this naughty, you’ll get kids who will be very naughty to you!”
Johnny, “Oh mom, you just betrayed yourself there, didn’t you?”
So a guy named Nathaniel just came home, and when he enters his sister’s room, he sees her f***ing a piece of broccoli. And Nathaniel says, “Abbie, what’s wrong with you? I was going to eat that later, and now it smells like broccoli!”
What do jokesters eat for breakfast? Pun-cakes.
What the difference between a priest and acne
Acne waits till your 13 to cum on your face
My dad always told me I should sing tenor. Ten or twelve miles away.