Worst Jokes Ever
What do you get when you cross a road with a stalker?
Raped.
Yo mama is so fat, that when I unfollowed her on Instagram, my phone got 1 GB of storage.
Why do the twin towers and my mom have in common? They fell over.
This boy in my high school choir class had a decently big forehead, so I leaned in and said, "You know, if you painted an H on your forehead, maybe Kobe would've landed."
What do you call a decapitated politician?
A severed head of state.
Q. What movie represents an orphan's life?
A. Spiderman: No Way Home.
Do people even like me, C. A. S. N. O. V. A.?
How to get a girl in three steps:
Step 1: grab a pillow.
Step 2: grab a blanket.
Step 3: keep dreaming.
Yo mama so ugly she made happy meals cry.
If an orphan takes a selfie, isn't it basically a family portrait?
If you don’t like mowing your lawn, just get emo grass! It cuts itself!
I always keep anti-fungal spray with me... because I don't want to share my girlfriend with anyone.
Why do priests play Geometry Dash? Cuz they can beat Demons.
Business Interview With Depression Inside my brain...
Me: So... You're new? Depression: (I don't know who he is yet) mHMMMmmm! Me: Well what are your skills? Depression: Oh, taking control and leading... You know... Me: What are you trying out for? Depression: Oh, Vice Leader of Negative Thoughts. Me: Well we do need someone over there- for somewhat reason nobody wanted that job... Me: How did you know about us? Depression: Oh- I knew because of Anxiety, you know, we're friends! Me: Interesting... (Still has no idea about Anxiety and it's problemos) Me: Well I think you're signed up! I'll give you the job! Depression: tHaNKS :)
AND THATS HOW MY LIFE GOT DESTROYED :]
A German went to France for a holiday, and here is the scene. French border staff asked, "Occupation?" The German replied, "No, no, no, just visiting."
9 out of 10 Americans are stupid... I'm so glad I'm in the 1%.
When do astronauts eat?
At launch time!
What’s the difference between a Ferrari and ten 6-year-olds?
I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.
What's the difference between a silver medal and a priest?
They both came in a little behind.
Screw sister from a mister or brother from another mother. We besties from another testie.