Worst Jokes Ever
I got mad at my sister's boyfriend, so I fucked his girl.
BLM British Lives Matter.
Q: What was the name of Michael Jackson's last book?
A: The ins and outs of child rearing.
Me: Calls 9-1-1.
Operator: 9/11, what’s your emergency?
Me: *hangs up*
I'm going to draw a picture. A picture with a twist. I'll draw it with a razor blade. I'll draw it on my wrist.
How to fall down stairs.
Step 1. Step 2. Step 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.
What's a dying person's least favorite app? TikTok.
What do you call a Muslim sleepover?
Osamas in Pajamas.
How many babies do you need to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
When two wheelchairs hit each other, is it a fender bender?
I started a band called 999 megabytes... we still haven't gotten a gig.
If you jump off a bridge while crying, it's suicide, but if you jump off a bridge while screaming "parkour," it's a failed stunt.
What school does a depressed middle school kid go to?
KMS.
My sister is pregnant, I'm gonna be a dad.
Yeah, you can call me daddy, son.
What do you call a bunch of Paki's jumping off a cliff?
Chocolate drops.
What is a reverse exorcism? It is when the Devil tries to pull a priest out of a child.
What type of tape do kidnappers use?
Abduct-Tape.
Fennec users lmao.
At school, Little Johnny’s classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it’s very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth.” Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out.
Johnny’s mother greets him at home, and he tells her, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don’t tell your father.” Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, “I know the whole truth.” The father promptly hands him $40 and says, “Please don’t say a word to your mother.”
Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, “I know the whole truth.” The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, “Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!”
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
Virgin mobile.