Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call an apple that fell out of the tree?
An orphan.
Obama, Trump, and Clinton are on the Titanic. The ship hits the iceberg and is going down.
Obama: "This is terrible! We've got to do something -- save the women and children!"
Trump: "Screw the women and children!"
Clinton: "Do you think we have time...?"
What do Catholic priests and JCPenny's have in common?
Little boys' pants half off.
The joke is my life.
Why does a Mexican want to learn math?
To study perimeter.
The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza. They got plane.
Why can't Asians play baseball?
Because they ate all the bats!
Why did Adolf Hitler like nuts? He only had one.
What’s the most played song in Africa?
Have you ever seen the rain?
Me and my girlfriend were planning on having sex, but I said me and my little brother share a bunk bed and he’s on the bottom. She said tell him we’re making sandwiches so we came up with a plan. "Tomato" means harder and "cheese" means faster. So we were having sex and she was screaming, "Tomato, tomato, tomato, cheese, cheese, cheese," then my little brother said, "Can y’all stop making sandwiches? You're getting mayonnaise all over my bed."
Why were the Twin Towers mad? Because when they spawned in a Minecraft world, all they got was plains.
Pedophiles are fucking immature assholes.
Not done yet.
Now they are.
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when I push my autistic brother down the stairs.
Why can't skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.
Is it just me, or are magnets really attractive?
What’s the worst thing about having a daughter with cancer?
You can’t pull on her hair when you’re raping her.
What did Donald Trump serve Justin Trudeau at the state dinner?
Poutine in traditional Russian dressing!
You are so ugly, Hello Kitty had to say bye-bye.
What starts off fun and ends in bankruptcy?
UNPROTECTED SEX.
Why was the staircase so sad?
Because everyone walks on them.