Worst Jokes Ever
If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.
What did one fish say to the other?
Keep your mouth shut and you'll never get caught.
Chuck Norris uses elevators only in case of fire.
When you send nudes to your Roblox gf and your uncle’s phone sounds with a text tone...
Why don’t you act like your hairline and kindly take several steps back?
My girlfriend is like treasure to me.
You need a shovel to find her.
What kind of bees eat brains?
Zombees.
My heart says to stop because it hurts.
Bro, chill. It's really not that deep.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
My asian neighbors dinner.
When his dick is really, really small, but you pretend it is so big it hurts so you don’t make him feel bad 'cause he is a nice guy.
How do you know if a Black woman is pregnant?
Stick a chicken wing up there.
So, I was on the phone with a scam caller. He said he knew where I lived and would kill my children and wife. Jokes on him, I already did.
Yo mama so fat that when I banged her in the jacuzzi, there was a level 8 tsunami.
Nutted in her braces, now my kids are behind bars.
What do Princess Diana and a landmine have in common? Both are easy to lay. Both costly and time-consuming to get rid of.
What did Saint Peter say to Diana when she got to the pearly gates? "Wipe that Merc off your face."
Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.
Just noticed something: all celebrities die badly except for Elvis. He had a relief after Taco Bell.
Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up. Class: *no one stands up* Teacher: Oh c'mon. I know someone over here is dumb. *waves her finger around the left side of the room* Little Johnny: *stands up* Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you're dumb? Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you're standing alone.
Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One of them turns to the other and says, "I can't believe I blew forty bucks in there."
I have the best life coach ever, because he taught me to not care. He did it so well that he died last week, and I still don’t care.