Worst Jokes Ever
A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks, "Where'd you get that lovely thing?"
"Africa," the parrot replied.
What do Joe Biden and Russia have in common?
Neither of them respect boundaries.
When his dick is really, really small, but you pretend it is so big it hurts so you don’t make him feel bad 'cause he is a nice guy.
How do you tell if someone is depressed?
The brains on the wall.
I went for a job interview today and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."
"Well, I'm your man," I replied. "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."
The way you talk is so slow that they put you in the movie Fast and Furious and changed the title to Slow and Serious!!!😂😂😭
I will never forget my grandfather's last words: “The fuck you doing with that knife?”
Why do orphans have water with cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
I never do dark jokes, but when I feel like it, I prefer orphan jokes, 'cause they're the safest option. I mean, what are they gonna do, call their parents?
Stephen Hawking didn’t die.
His charger broke.
What do depressed kids and sloths have in common? They both hang from trees.
What is a cup called when they show a ton of emotions?
Answer: Expresso! (KILL MEH)
Yo mama's so stupid, when I told her that she lost her mind, she went looking for it.
Don't let mistakes drag you down. My dad made one mistake, but it ended up fulfilling the 5-year plan of heat energy generation in less than a millisecond.
What is the difference between a rapist and a dictionary?
One of them knows the definition of no.
Dear Slim Shady,
balls.
There are some sounds that everyone loves... - Shoes on gravel. - Crackling of fire. - The snapping necks of those who think they can disrespect you. - Cats purring.
How many fingers am I holding up?
Said the suicide bomber, referring to the countdown.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a watermelon? One of them is fun to hit with a sledge hammer and the other one is just a watermelon.
What is a similarity between a pregnant 14-year-old and the fetus inside of her?
They both are thinking, "Shit! Mom is gonna kill me!"
Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn't last as long for fat people.