Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call an orphan's family reunion?
Me time.
What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip off!
Yo mama so ugly, Itachi couldn't look at her to put her in a genjutsu.
Welcome to ____ pizzeria and abortion clinic where your loss is our sauce.
What did one buttcheek say to the other buttcheek?
"Together we can stop this shit."
Why are Americans so good at solving Rubik’s cubes?
Because they have a history of separating colors.
New Teacher: I was an orphan as a kid.
Students: Damn.
Teacher: Is anyone missing?
Students: Your parents!
You meet the guy who invented 0, what do you tell him? Thanks for nothing!
Congrats to George Floyd on 2 years sobriety.
I was making vegetable soup yesterday, but the wheelchair wouldn’t fit.
Why are orphans so bad at poker?
They don’t know what a full house is!
At school, Little Johnny's classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it's very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth."
Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Johnny's mother greets him at home, and he tells her, "I know the whole truth." His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father."
Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother."
Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth." The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!"
Why do orphans work boomerangs?
Because it's the only thing that comes back.
Yo mama's so ugly, she went into a strip club and got paid to keep her clothes on.
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning, and his dad was making a lot of mistakes. Suddenly, his dad screams "bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant, and his dad replied "aunts and uncles." Oh. Next thing he hears is "dicks and pussies!" Johnny asks, "What's that mean?" To which his dad replied, "Uh, coats and hats." Oh. Next thing he know, he sees his dad jumping around the bathroom yelling "fucking, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" "What does that mean, Dad?" And his dad yells, "Cut, Johnny, it means cut!!!!" Oh.
Next week is Thanksgiving, and the doorbell rings, and Johnny answers it and says, "Hey, bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, Dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey."
What has 50 legs but can't walk?
25 disabled kids.
How do cows laugh?
Moo-haha.
What makes sad people jump? A bridge.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in front of a door? Matt.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? Bob.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel.
These jokes are so dark they almost stole my bike.