Worst Jokes Ever
I read a book on anti-gravity...
It was impossible to put down.
What starts with a P and ends in S? (hint: men have it and women want it). Pockets.
My family is like treasure. You need a shovel and a map to find them.
What's an orphan's favorite movie? Spiderman: No Way Home.
What kind of family pictures do orphans take?
Selfies!!
Did you know that Germany came up with sparkling water?
Who else would think of adding gas?
How do you avoid getting raped? Never say no.
Why were the people in the Twin Towers such good readers?
They went through 110 stories in 10 seconds.
Man: "Is your body from McDonald's?"
Woman: "Why, because you're loving it?"
Man: "No, because it's fat and greasy."
Little Johnny was staying at his grandparents' house, and he asked his grandpa, "Can I have a cigarette?" His grandpa said, "Well, can your dick touch your asshole?" He said, "No." "Then that's your answer." A little bit later, Little Johnny asked for a beer. His grandpa said, "Well, can your dick touch your asshole?" He said, "I already said no." "Well, that's your answer." Later, he was complaining to his grandma, and she gave him cookies. His grandpa came up to him and said, "Can I have a cookie?" Little Johnny said, "Well, can your dick touch your asshole?" His grandpa said, "Well, yes, it can." And Little Johnny said, "Well, go fuck yourself, old man, because these are my cookies."
What do you call a black person with a gun? Black ops.
That awkward moment you try to relate to Batman by killing your parents.
My favorite joke: My life.
What was the last thought Jesus had before he died?
"Man, I could really use a crowbar right about now."
There was a plane crash. The pilot's names were Captain Sum Ting Wong, Wi Tu Lo, Ho Lee Fuk, and Bang Ding Ow.
What shoes do pedophiles wear? White vans.
How do pedophiles fit in? They force it to go in.
How do you make a 16 mm hole into a 40 mm hole? A pedophile comes in.
What did Santa say when he was passing over some hookers? "Ho ho ho!"
What's the difference between a nun and a woman in a bathtub?
One's got hope in her soul, the other's got soap in her hole.
I took a pole today. 100% of the people in the tent were unhappy that it collapsed.
Q: What’s the difference between me and you?
A: I’m not wasting my time reading this joke.
Q: Why did the orphan get an iPhone X for their birthday?
A: 'Cause it don't have a home button.