Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Hospital

  • Whenever I work late at the hospital, I help the patients sleep.

    There isn't a snooze button on the beeping things, and it can be quite annoying, making it hard for the patients to sleep, so I unplug them.

  • 3
  • Bathroom

  • Miss Drake, can I go to the bathroom? I need to piss.

    "Billy, we don't say piss. We say urinate. Do you understand?"

    "Yes, Miss Drake."

    "Very well. Now use the word urinate in a sentence."

    "Miss Drake, urinate, but if you had any tits you'd be a ten."

  • 0
  • Life Support

  • My grandpa said I was too reliant on technology when he saw me on my phone. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.

  • 0
  • Wife

  • My wife went to Niagara Falls and fell. She broke every bone in her body.

    One year later, she recovered. She slipped on an orange peel and died.

  • 0
  • Robot

  • You know when you sign up for something and it says "I'm not a robot"? I guess he never had the chance to tick that.

  • 0
  • Fortune

  • Robin Hood [hands over stolen fortune]: here you are, my poor friend.

    Friend: Wow thanks, I'm rich!

    Robin [narrows eyes]: You're what?

  • 1
  • Fighter

  • I was playing Mortal Kombat with my friend when he picked the fighter Pristiano Penaldo. I won and the voice didn't say "Finish him," so I couldn't do a fatality.

    I was confused, but I understood that the game didn't let me finish him because he is already finished.

  • 0
  • Mom

  • What does your mom and a slinky have in common?

    They aren't much to look at, but you can't help but crack a smile when you see them tumbling down the stairs.

  • 2