Worst Jokes Ever
How did Stephen Hawking die? He lost Wi-Fi connection.
How does NASA organize a party? -- They planet.
What's a fish's least favorite instrument?
A ClariNET!
My family is like treasure. You need a shovel and a map to find them.
I think my family is racist.
I brought a black girl home, and my wife went crazy and told me to pack my bags, and my kids were upset.
I put someone in a wheelchair into the fire and called him "hot wheels."
What did the rope say to me?
"Hey there man, you wanna hang later?"
Yo mama so stupid, she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.
Seat belts are like the condom for cars.
I got kicked out of the hospital because I told all the COVID-19 patients to stay positive.
I told my friend that we should dress up as P. Diddy and Drake for Halloween and ask parents if their kid wants to come over for a sleepover.
A man goes into heaven and there he meets Jesus. He asks Jesus what that broken clock is there for. Jesus says, "That is Mother Teresa's clock, it has never moved because she has never lied." "There is Abraham Lincoln's clock. He has lied twice so it has moved twice." "Where is Donald Trump's?" asks the man. Jesus answers, "It is in my office, I am using it as a ceiling fan."
A Sunday school teacher asked her children on the way to service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."
What's the difference between Ironman and Ironwoman? One is a superhero and the other is a simple command.
Why is Helen Keller's child blind too? She always fed it with a fork!
I went up to the blind kid and punched him and said bet you didn't see that coming
I tried to adopt an orphan. The card got declined harder than the child did.
Son: Dad? Why is mommy no longer with us?
Dad: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Son: Why?
Dad: To get to the other side, but your mother only made it about halfway.
My grandfather says I'm too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
Why can't orphans work at S.C Johnson?
Because it is a family company. š š