Worst Jokes Ever
What's in common with Michael Jackson and a phone?
Kids play with both of them.
Did you hear about the cheetah who robbed a bank? He ran away so fast he almost got away with it, but he was spotted.
Mother, father, and a son. Father purchased a robot that can detect lies. The robot slaps when you lie.
During dinner time: Father: Son, what have you done today? Son: I watched Netflix, Dad. Robot: Stood up and slapped the son! Son: Okay! Okay! I watched porn, Dad. Dad: What? You watched porn? You are only 14! I never knew porn till I was 18 years of age. Robot: Stood up and slapped the Dad! Mother: started to laugh and said, "Sure he is your son!" Robot: Stood up and slapped the mother!
Define abnormal life.
Waking up every day living a sane life!
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn't have the guts to do it.
These murder jokes are just KILLING me!
My ceiling isn't the best... But it's up there!
Q: What did the elephant say to the naked man?
A: How do you breathe through that little thing?
I once fought with a man in a wheelchair.
He couldn't stand a chance.
Why did the little girl's ice cream melt?
She was on fire.
My sister argued with me that you can't make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face when I drove pasta!
Dyslexic man walks into a bra.
Yo mama so fat when she stepped on the scale it said, "To be continued."
My dad died the other day, but I was able to hear his last words: "Son, are you still holding the ladder?"
I'm 24 and I was with a Chinese lady, and she kept screaming, "I'm too young!" Like, I don't know what that name is.
What is the one thing cripples can't do? ... Stand-up comedy.
I'm doing a charity bungee jump for the local disabled.
It's called "spastics on elastics."
What do you call a special police officer?
Officer down!
They'll never do reverse cowgirl because you never turn your back on family.
When you realize you forgot to mop your room, you hear footsteps.