Worst Jokes Ever
Where in hell is Lee Harvey Oswald now when we need him?
What is Bill Cosby's favorite poem? Roses are red, my cum is blue, I'll wait till your asleep to rape you.
Why did the guy's birthday party stink?
Because he was turning farty!
In Soviet Russia, gay sex gets you arrested.
In America, getting arrested gets you gay sex.
I'm a family doctor and I wish I could help but... you're an orphan.
Knock knock! Who's there? Deja. Deja who? Knock knock!
What's long and black? The line at KFC.
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to the Super Bowl game.
They had great seats right behind their team's bench.
After the game, the guy asked his girlfriend how she liked the experience.
"Oh, I really liked it!" she replied, "Especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, "What do you mean?"
She said, "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!' I’m like, hellooooo! It’s only 25 cents!"
What do the films The Sixth Sense and Titanic have in common?
Icy dead people.
There are a lot of things that explode... like cars, boats, the Twin Towers.
Why do strippers never care about things?
Because the last time they gave a fuck, it was for $20 an hour.
10 Fun Facts.
1. You can't wash your eyes with soap. 2. You can't count your hair. 3. You can't breathe through your nose with your tongue out. 4. You just tried number 3. 5. When you did number 3, you realized it's possible, only you look like a dog. 6. You're smiling right now because you were fooled. 7. You skipped number 5. 8. You just checked to see if there is a number 5. 9. Share this with your friends to have some fun too :-)
Why does the Norway navy have barcodes on the sides of their ships?
So when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.
What do you say to your sister when she's crying? -- "Are you having a crisis?"
ok this isn't a joke but it's funny.
Roses are red, nuts are brown, Skirts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin, when it's stiff, stick it in. It goes in dry, comes out wet, the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag, It's not what you think, it's a lipton tea bag.
Get your mind out of the gutter.
Why can't dinosaurs clap?
Because they're dead.
I’ll make a joke about homeless people, but they just don’t work.
If I'm still single by Christmas, Santa won't be the only one jumping off a roof.
After a surgery, a man claimed he couldn't feel his legs. I replied, "Of course not, I amputated your fucking arms!"
The Pope and Donald Trump are on stage in front of a huge crowd.
The Pope leaned towards Trump and said, “Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, like that of your followers, but go deep into their hearts and for the rest of their lives. Whenever they speak of this day, they will rejoice!”
Trump replies, “I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand? Show me!”
So the Pope slapped him.