Worst Jokes Ever

I seriously don't get why people in Alabama are angered that Mexican immigrants are taking their jobs. I mean, it's not like they are preventing your son from giving you a big, fat blow job.

What country do French Fries come from? Grease.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Chicken.

You can't say Hitler was a bad person. He did kill Hitler after all.

What's the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him?

It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.

A teacher in Scunthorpe asks a class what their favorite football team is, saying, "Raise your hand if it is Scunthorpe." Every student but one raised their hand. The teacher asks, "Why don't you support Scunthorpe?" The child answers, "My parents support Grimsby, and so do I." The teacher comes back with, "Why are you copying your parents? What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad a druggie?" The child answers, "Then I'd support Scunthorpe like you dirty bastards!"

I have depression, and am suicidal. Nobody knows though, let's joke about that lol.

I was going to buy a pocket calculator. But then I thought, who cares how many pockets I have?

Chuck Norris once put a plastic bag on his head, and the bag suffocated to death.

Where do feminists go when they die? "Hell's Kitchen."

A teacher is doing an experiment about taste. She tells each student to line up so she can give them each a lifesaver, so they can tell her what flavor it is. She gives Suzy a pineapple one. Suzy tries it, says the flavor, and then goes and sits back down. That is the same for everyone, then it is Jhonny's turn. The teacher hands him a honey flavor one. Jhonny chews it for a while, then says,

"Teacher, I don't know what it is.". The teacher tries to give him a hint and says, "it's what your parents call each other when you are asleep". Immediately the boy behind Jhonny screams, "Spit it out Jhonny, it's an asshole!!!"

Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70?

Because when she gets to 69 there's a frog in her throat.

Knock knock. Who's there? Apaches. Apaches who? Apaches on your eye.

A little boy decided to burn a house down. The father put his arm around his wife, tears in his eyes, saying, "That's arson."

What’s the difference between an orphan and a tomato?

The tomato gets picked.

As siblings, we always joke about being adopted. It stops being funny when you're playing in your parents' room and find both of your adoption papers. : )

joe: Are your mom and dad nice?

zozo: Well, they were until I murdered them over a bottle of Pringles.

joe: Oh, so you are an orphan and a murderer.

Why does Michael Jackson like 44-year-olds? There's 4 of them.

What do you call a digital hamburger? Processed meat.

There are only 2 genders: if you have a dick, or a pussy.