Worst Jokes Ever
Why didn't the Asian get a high five? Because Logan Paul left him hanging.
What’s a hairdresser’s favorite roast? Flat iron roast.
Do you want to know how to make a Smurf? CHOKE A MIDGET!
A limbless criminal has just been identified. Police say the suspect is armed and on the run.
Where do fish keep their money?
In a riverbank!
What is the difference between butter and a blonde? - Butter is difficult to spread.
I was sitting in a bar one day and two really large women came in, talking in an interesting accent. So I said, "Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?" One of them snarled at me, "It's Wales, Dumbo!" So I corrected myself, "My apologies, so are you two whales from Ireland?"
Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face, and he asks her, "Why are you rubbing that stuff on your face, mother?"
His mother replies, "To make myself beautiful, Johnny."
A few minutes later, she starts rubbing the cream off with a tissue. Johnny says to her, "What is the matter? Are you giving up?"
A guy starts chatting to a pretty woman at a party.
Seeing that she didn't back off, he asked her name. "Carmen," she replied. "That's a nice name," he said, warming up the conversation. "Who named you, your mother?"
"No, I named myself," she answered.
"Oh, that's interesting. Why Carmen?"
"Because I like cars, and I like men," she said, looking directly into his eyes. "So what's your name?" she asked.
‘BJ Titsngolf’
"Hotel Rwanda" has a high score on Rotten Tomatoes, but their Yelp reviews are terrible.
What do orphans call family pictures?
A selfie.
Why did the orphan get an iPhone X for his birthday?
Because it has no home button.
What's the difference between a good TV show and a gay man?
One makes your day and one makes your whole week.
Why do orphans like Batman? They are 50% like him.
A girl and her brother are walking in their garden. POV: Brother. Sister: "Why are you cutting those flowers?"
Brother: "Because they're beautiful!"
Sister: "I thought you said you cut yourself because you aren't."
Brother:......
How many feminists do you need to change a light bulb?
One. She puts the bulb up and waits for the world to revolve around her.
...just kidding-
- none. They can't change anything.
What is an orphan's favorite period? Homeroom.
Serial murderer Ed Gein was famed for raping, killing, and skinning his victims.
When he was asked why he did it, he responded, "You don't know someone until you walk around in their skin."
Just noticed something: all celebrities die badly except for Elvis. He had a relief after Taco Bell.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn’t matter, it won’t come to you.