Worst Jokes Ever
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims. They went through 80 stories in seconds.
We need more women in the military! They can bleed for weeks and still not die!
I don't understand why people get offended by incest jokes; they're so family friendly.
What do you call an orphan family tree?
A tree stump.
Q. What do you give a sick lemon?
A. Lemon-aid.
Yo mama's so stupid she got locked in Mattress World and slept on the floor.
It was mealtime on a small airline and the flight attendant asked the passenger if he would like dinner.
"What are my choices?" he asked.
"Yes or No," she replied.
Cremation:
My last hope for a smoking hot body.
I seriously don't get why people in Alabama are angered that Mexican immigrants are taking their jobs. I mean, it's not like they are preventing your son from giving you a big, fat blow job.
What do you do when an orphan takes a family photo?
A selfie.
Why don't Asian kids believe in Santa Claus?
Because they're the ones who made the toys.
what is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
I was gonna tell a self harm joke, but realized it would cause too much pain.
What's the difference between a school and an ISIS military base? Don't ask me, I only fly the drone.
Whenever I have a one night stand, I always use protection.
A fake name and a fake phone number.
Got into a fight last night. We both had blades. He cut me deep. I thought I was gone, but he forgot to keep the water running.
Weird thing was that we were in the fight of our lives in the restroom and that guy kinda looked like me.
What do you call dynamite on steroids? - High Explosive.
My favorite quote will always be, "Sketchy candy is better than no candy."
- One of the thousands of missing children.
What is the similarity between a sloth and a depressed kid?
They both hang from trees.
What do you call Mexicans in a band trying to be a white band?
"Juan Direction."