Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the orphan become a prostitute?
Because they needed someone to call "daddy".
What is the favorite dish in Africa? The empty one.
I started an emo salsa band. We're called Hispanic at the Disco.
Why do trees never call emo kids?
The emos always hang up on them.
Q: Why did the cat get a ticket?
A: He was caught littering.
My girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile. That’s a big word for a six-year-old.
Black holes and horny black women have 1 thing in common, they suck everything in sight.
My girlfriend died in Tokyo during a tsunami. I was sad, but my friend told me, "Don't worry, there are plenty more in the ocean."
What feature does an orphan's phone not have?
A home button.
Me having a good day. Going on a walk on a peaceful day.
My depression: hey, what's up!
Me: go away.
My depression: well how rude.
Me: 🙄.
My depression: remember that one time......
Me: no, don't even.
My depression: that we.....
Me: nope.
My depression: *says really fast*: said that one stupid joke that wasn't funny and everybody just stared at you, and then you spilled water all over yourself and it looked like you peed yourself. And you went home and cried yourself to sleep just like you do every single night.
Me: 😳😶😟.
My depression: 😉 don't worry I'll always be here for you.
If you're going to be a smart ass, you have to be smart, or you're just an ass.
Today in 3rd grade English, the teacher asked the kids a question, "What turns on when you take your clothes off?"
Little Elsa blushed and screamed, "You can't ask that!"
The English teacher repeats the question and Elsa screams, "I'll tell my parents on you and get you fired!"
Finally, Little Tim raises his hand, "The shower, ma'am."
The English teacher clapped her hands, "Good job, Tim, and as for you Elsa, you do not have the body for that."
Teacher: Your bag is heavy, what's in there?
Weird Kid: Magazines.
Why does an orphan go to church? So they can call someone father and be loved.
What's the difference between a priest and SpongeBob?
SpongeBob asks if you're ready first.
Yo mama is so fat, when she nocliped into the backrooms, she was in level 0 and level 999 at the same time.
What does PEMDAS stand for?
Please End My Depression And Suffering.
How do you know when Helen Keller is home?
Answer: When you hear somebody falling down the stairs!
What do you call it when Panera Bread has bread?
Panera Bread.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.