Worst Jokes Ever
So there I was, having a fantastic time going down on my nan.
When suddenly I got a nasty taste in my mouth.
"Wait a minute," I said. This distinctly tastes like horse semen.
Then it clicked.
"Ah, so that's how you died."
What's the difference between a child and a book?
One doesn't scream when you snap its neck.
What's the difference between Freddie Mercury and Princess Diana?
Freddie lived long enough to be a Queen.
What’s loud, red and goes at 200mph?
Paul Walker’s Porsche.
Little Johnny's dad was driving him to school when they came up on a couple in a convertible. It was apparent that they were arguing. You could then see the woman pull out a knife. Seconds later, his dad saw a penis land in the windshield. Worried little Johnny will see it, he quickly turned on the wipers and brushed it off.
"What was that, Dad?" asked lil Johnny. "Oh, just a bug," said his father. With a confused look on lil Johnny's face, he then says, "That bug sure had a big dick, didn't he?"
Most people are scared of clowns. That's why everyone runs away from you.
Why did Paul Walker cross the road?
He wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
Johnny Depp, Michael Jackson, and Marilyn Manson all walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Why don't you take a seat, right over there?" Turns out the bartender was Chris Hansen himself.
Chuck Norris would have died a couple of years ago, but death hasn't built up the courage to tell him.
I tried to make vegetable soup today, but the wheelchair didn't fit in the pot.
Mom: You will make me kill myself.
Me who has cut first: I'll kill myself ✨first✨!
I am reading a horror book in braille.
Something bad is going to happen. I CAN FEEL IT!
Alabama.
Every time there's a family reunion, a baby is born 9 months later.
My poem, roses are red, violets are blue. I will die very soon. 🔪
Your breath is so bad that when Santa came to your house for your present, he brought toothpaste.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? He ran out of data.
In my spare time I help blind children. -- I mean the verb, not the adjective.
My friend died from an allergic reaction. He gave me an EpiPen while he was dying, so now I have something to remember him from.
Why don’t mountains catch colds?
They wear snow caps.
What is the most popular game at the orphanage?
Need For Speed: Most Wanted.