Worst Jokes Ever
I rode to the bottle shop on my bike yesterday. I bought a whole bottle of wine and put it in the basket on the front of my bike.
Then I thought, if I fell off my bike on the way back home, it would smash and shatter. So I drank all the wine and threw away the bottle.
It was a good idea, because I fell off my bike about four times on the way back.
What did the dime say to the penny? At least I have more cents than you.
Why did the tamale go to the hospital?
Tamalito.
What's Joe Biden's favorite arcade game?
Space Invaders.
What do squirrels and men have in common?
They always want a nut.
Look in the mirror. There's a joke for you.
What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
"If we don’t get some support people will think we are ball sacks..."
I never wanted to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.
But when I got home, all the signs were there.
I won the lottery for a million dollars today, so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity.
I now have $999,999.75.
When I see lovers' names carved on a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.
Chuck Norris can make 5 minute frosting in 4 minutes.
What’s the difference between a clock and an orphan's parents?
The clock actually comes back around.
Once I saw Donald Trump and an orange and couldn’t tell the difference 😂
See, morbid humor is just like water, not everyone gets it.
What does a cigar and a hamster have in common?
Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
Chuck Norris would have died a couple of years ago, but death hasn't built up the courage to tell him.
What did the salad say to pineapple?
"Lettuce be friends."
Knock knock. Who's there? Parents. Parents who? That's what an orphan would say.
My mom told me it's not healthy to stay in my room all day... but the only places I'm allowed to go to are my room and downstairs.
Why did Wi-Fi and the computer get married?
Because they had a connection.