Worst Jokes Ever
Two cows are out grazing in the field. One cow says to the other cow, "Aren't you worried about this mad cow disease that's been going around?" The other cow replied, "Why would I be worried about mad cow disease? I'm a rabbit!"
Why was ten scared?
Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
Why can't Mexicans play Uno?
Because they can't get a green card.
What do you call a burning church?
Holy smokes.
What did the north tower say to the south tower?
"You're too young to smoke."
What do you say to a depressed person on the ceiling?
Hang in there!
Where in hell is Lee Harvey Oswald now when we need him?
What did the Hiroshima survivor say about the day Little Boy dropped? "It was a blast!"
Q: What do Burger King and Michael Jackson have in common?
A: They put meat on five-year-old buns.
"Dad, how do stars die?" -- "Usually an overdose."
A priest and a rabbi run out of a burning church, and the priest says, "What about the children?" The rabbi says, "Fuck the children." And the priest says, "Do you think we'll have time?"
Q. What gets longer if pulled, fits snugly between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, chokes people when used incorrectly, and works well when jerked?
A. A seatbelt.
Someone asked me if I've ever tried to kill myself. I responded, "Absolutely. A few times actually. I'm just not very good at it."
What do the initials BIBLE stand for?
Bull In Book Lacking Evidence
Q: Why do Norwegian ships have bar codes on them?
A: So when they come into port they can Scan-Da-Navy-In!
How is the world like dirt?
Because we don't think twice about it.
What is a government mandate?
When Obama and Biden go out to dinner together.
Did you hear about the Mexican train hijacker?
They say he had locomotives.
What's the hardest part when making skimmed milk?
Throwing the cow across the lake.
All these jokes are plane wrong. My uncle died in 9/11. At least he died doing what he loved, flying planes.