Worst Jokes Ever

A robber held up a depressed kid at gun point.

The depressed kid took the gun, and said, "I'll do it myself."

I was going to make a pun about math, but my answers never add up.

You're so skinny that the professor thought you were the skeleton.

What do you call a cow with no toes?

Lac-toes intolerant.

Playing soccer in a wheelchair is basically Rocket League in real life.

In his dream, some people gave the Hodja nine gold coins, but Hodja wanted ten. So he refused them. Suddenly, he awoke and saw that his hands were empty. So, he quickly closed his eyes again and said, "It's okay, I'll take the nine coins."

What time is it when you can drive a house? Time to get a wheelchair.

Can February march? -- No, but April may.

What do Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?

They both come while you’re asleep.

I ran over three disabled kids.

"Cripple kill."

Yo mama so fat, when she took a picture of herself, her phone ran out of storage.

Little Johnny went to the doctor to get an infection checked on his penis. As the doctor examined it, he asked, "Lil Johnny how did you get an infection on your penis?" Johnny replied, "Well, the damn neighbor Sally's braces are too sharp."

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.

"But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"Because," he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

Wife: "Hi honey, I'm pregnant."

Husband: "Hi pregnant, I'm dad."

Wife: "No, you're not...."

Whenever I see a dog video, I just take a second to press paws.

Where did Janet go during the bombing? Everywhere.

I was blessed with a 9-inch dick. Fair to say that priest is in jail now.

You know those paper families you cut out?

Well, I put one of those in an orphanage.

Why do people come on here just to say that we should not be making these jokes? They literally look this shit up just to complain.

What is big and bouncy and walks on stilts?