Worst Jokes Ever
Wanna hear something bad? A pile of dead babies.
Wanna hear something worse? The one at the bottom is still alive.
Wanna hear something worse than that? He has to eat his way out.
Wanna hear something that's the worst? He comes back for seconds.
I was cutting the vegetables and my mom asked how I was so skillful.
Why don't feminists like to eat hotdogs? Because they remind them of men's dicks.
What did the Twin Towers' mom say when she fed them? "Open wide honey, here comes the airplane."
Your momma is so old she has been a waitress at the last supper.
Trump's medical records were just released. According to the brain scan, the left side of his brain has nothing right, while the right side has nothing left.
Friends are like trees, they fall over if you hit them with an ax.
How do emos propose?
"Would you like to join my family tree?"
Today, I had an exam in school. When I was done, I raised my hand and yelled, “Pisstiano Penaldo!”
My teacher smiled and took my paper. She knew I was finished.
There once was a street named Chuck Norris. They had to change the name because no one crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
How does a crazy person get to the woods?
He takes the psychopath.
I don't struggle with self-harm, I do it everyday.
Yo mamma so fat, when God said, "Let there be light," he was just asking her to get out the way.
Your mom said, "Can you get to the dick game?"
Life is like a penis. Long, free, flowing, and soft, until a woman comes and makes it hard. 😉
Three guys are in the woods, a really smart guy, an average guy, and a really dumb guy. They're bored, so the smart guy decides to go hunting. A little while later he comes back with a deer. The average guy asks, "How did you do that?" The really smart guy says, "I see deer tracks, I follow deer tracks, I see deer, I shoot deer." The average guy says, "I think I understand," and leaves. A little bit later he comes back with a raccoon. The really dumb guy goes *gasp*, "How did you do that!?" And the average looks at him funny and says, "Well, I see raccoon tracks, I follow raccoon tracks, I see raccoon, I shoot raccoon." The super dumb guy thinks for a second and says, "Oooohh, ok, I think I can do that..." and leaves.
Hours pass, and the guy finally returns, hurt, bloody, and horribly mangled. They run to help him. Finally, one of the guys asks him what happened. This is what he said: "I see train tracks, I follow train tracks, I see train, I shoot train. But train keep coming."
What starts with e, ends with e, and only contains one letter? -- An envelope.
What body part do pigs have that humans don’t have?
A hambone.
This one kid never stands up for the pledge of allegiance, and I'm tired of it.
Today, I push him out of his wheelchair.
How many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb? -- Just Juan.