Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call an angry Texan?
A Confederate leader.
My sister told me a joke.
All she said was "my life."
I am an actual police officer (Not gonna mention with which department in case they actually check this site) and tbh I find these jokes funny as fuck, carry on boys.
When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room.
Why do we tell actors to "break a leg"?
Because every scene has a cast!
Why did Michael Jackson get away with it? Because he's a smooth criminal.
What's white, sticky, and better to spit out then to swallow?
Toothpaste.
What's worse than a dead baby?
A pile of dead babies. What's worse than that? The one on the bottom is alive. And what's worst than that is, the baby has to eat its way out.
Why did Helen Keller sign the n-word?
She thought she was black.
One day in class, little Johnny was mucking around, not listening to the teacher. After 5 minutes, the teacher caught him, finished what she was saying, and said, "Little Johnny, if you weren’t listening, what was the last thing I said?" And little Johnny replied back, "You said, 'What was the last thing I said?'"
Today someone was killed with a starter pistol. Police think it might be race related.
Most states:
"It's ok, it won't be awkward. We're still friends."
Alabama:
"She didn't wanna be my girlfriend anymore. But she said she'll still be my sister."
Why did Billy fall off his bike?
Because his dad threw a chair at him.
What do peanut butter and a prostitute's legs have in common?
They’re both easy to spread.
What do you call a dear with no eyes?
I have no eye deer!
You: “Knock knock.” Person: “Who’s there?” You: “Leaf.” Person: “Leaf who?” You: “Leaf this house!”
*Apple bottom jeans plays*
I called that Rape Advice Line earlier today. Unfortunately, it's only for victims.
A man opened a snail farm.
He said that it is a slow-moving business.
What store does an orphan hate?
Family Tree.
What does a dyslexic zombie eat? Brian's, hahahahaha!