Worst Jokes Ever
what's the difference between my hand and my blade? my hand isn't sharp.
If you want to see my foes, bring a shovel and bring a map and a getaway car just in case we get caught.
Why are there no Walmarts in Palestine?
There are Targets everywhere.
Me: Are you an orphan?
Boy: Yeah, what gave me away?
Me: ....ur parents.
The weirdest thing happened yesterday. My dad came back from work... He’s a suicide bomber.
What’s similar between the twin towers and Kobe Bryant?
They both can crash down.
I think my family is racist.
I brought a black girl home, and my wife went crazy and told me to pack my bags, and my kids were upset.
Location is in London by the way.
One day a fatass came home and told his friend that he lost money.
His friend: "Oh for once you lost some pounds!"
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bull dozer.
Why are orphans good at being a criminal?
Because they're not wanted.
Why does OSHA require women to wear panties?
Because every manhole needs a cover.
Two men walk into a bar. You'd think the second one would've seen it.
What did the racist serial killer say to the cop?
“Wait, you’re getting paid?”
A rapist walks into a school and asks if they had 5 year olds in the school, and the teacher replies, "Are you that same person who took Jimmy?"
The man replies, "Yes," and the teacher says, "Take Susie too; she's being a little bitch."
What's the difference between calling someone dad or daddy? How you come from his balls.
What is a cannibal's favorite restaurant?
Five Guys.
What do you call a skunk falling from the sky?
A stink bomb!
What did the orphan get for Christmas?
Lego figures from his friend, but they ran away too.
You wanna know how to get rid of potential scam callers?
Next time you get a call from them, just answer the phone and say, "Pizza Hut abortion clinic, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce, how may I help you?"
I went to the principal's office because I gave a deaf kid ear pods for his birthday.