Worst Jokes Ever
I was playing football with my friends, and I got tackled and got a penalty. Suddenly, the ground started shaking, and Penaldo emerged from the mud. He took the penalty, but since it wasn't Andorra, he missed. Shame on you, Penaldo!
One day I was jogging through the park and I saw this lady sitting next to a pond in a wheelchair with no legs and arms and said "Why are you crying" she said she had never been hugged I gave her a hug and jogged away.The next day i saw her again and asked her the same question she said "I've never been kissed" I gave her a kiss and went, The third day i asked her thrice and she said I've never been fucked I picked her up from her wheelchair and throwed her in the pond and said your fucked now She didn't make it:)
Doctor: I've got good news and bad news.
Patient: What's the good news?
Doctor: I've got you flowers.
Patient: Awww, What's the bad news?
Doctor: They're for your grave.
When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat children into the fire.
The more suicidal people there are, the less suicidal people there are.
I used to be into necrophilia. Until that rotten cunt split on me...
Pedophiles are fucking immature assholes.
Not done yet.
Now they are.
Why do pedophiles never win a race?
Because they are always coming in a little behind.
I'm Tall.
Funny thing happened today, my dad came home from work which is weird cause he’s a suicide bomber.
My fifth wife asked me to help her dig in the garden. Here we go again.
If a school shooter walks into a classroom and shoots an autistic kid, what does the kid say? "Why do I look like Swiss cheese?"
What’s the best part about having sex with twenty-six year olds?
There’s twenty of them.
Yo mamma is so dumb that she smokes to burn calories!
I got a handjob from a blind woman the other day. She said, "It's the biggest thing I ever had in my hand." I said, "No love, you're just pulling my leg."
What's the difference between a snow woman and snow man?
Snowballs.
I told my friend ten puns to see what one made him laugh. No pun in ten did.
"Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death"?
Maybe in infidel America but.... it is #1 in the Glorious Iran.
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When do astronauts eat?
At launch time!
I took my 5 year old son to ride some roller coasters. I think he didn’t like it because I challenged him to a no hands contest.
He said, "But I don’t have any." He wanted to know what dark humor is. Now he knows what it is and what it feels like.