Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

What do Hostess Twinkies and the cock of a gay man have in common?

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  • I just finished my fourth round of baby back ribs. For some reason, everyone else at the abortion center is staring at me.

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  • Job Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in the next five years?

    Me: I'd say my biggest weakness is listening.

    A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while "the lights would turn off."

    Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers.

    However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent.

    She walked up to the bartender and asked, "May I please use the restroom?"

    The bartender replied, "OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf."

    "Well, in that case, I'll just look the other way," said the nun.

    So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant.

    After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause!

    She went to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don't understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?"

    "Well, now they know you're one of us," said the bartender, "Would you like a drink?"

    "No thank you, but, I still don't understand," said the puzzled nun.

    "You see," laughed the bartender, "every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out."

    Now, how about that drink?

    TEST QUESTION: what looks like half an apple?

    My cousin: the other half.

    What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag? One's made of plastic and dangerous for kids to play with, and the other carries groceries.

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  • So why don’t blind people go sky diving? It scares the hell out of their seeing eye dog.

    When does a blind person know when he’s about to hit the ground? The leash goes slack.

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  • Jesus and his disciples walk into a restaurant.

    Jesus: "A table for 26, please." Headwaiter: "But there's only... 13 of you?" Jesus: "Yeah, we're all going to sit on the same side."

    Getting hurt is a bone-breaking experience. It's such a spine-tingling event!

    In school, we learned that squirrels stick their nuts in trees. So, just like my uncle Dave...

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  • Why do bugs hate the internet?

    Because they always get caught.

    Get it? Inter-net?