Worst Jokes Ever
My girlfriend treats me like God. -- She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.
When your mom tries to hit you with the belt but misses and hits herself... #victoryroyale
What’s the worst thing to do at a funeral?
The corpse.
I like my women how I like my wine: 12 years old and locked in a cellar.
A prisoner was told how he'll be executed. Needless to say, he was shocked.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Yo mum." "Yo mum who?" "Yo mum is watching you wank right now."
People in 1912: "Titanic is unstoppable, even God couldn't sink this ship."
God: "Bet, where are my icebergs?"
Guy spills milk on me. I say, "It's okay, we all make mistakes sometimes, but apparently your mom made a big one."
Shit! My neighborhood barber just got arrested for selling drugs! I've been his customer for 4 years, but I had no idea he was a barber.
I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well, it was more of a wrap.
Underground Fruit Association of N&C (UGFA)?
We’re bananas!
What did Hellen Keller do when she fell in a hole?
She screamed until her hands got tired.
Why do midgets laugh when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
Some people can juggle chainsaws. Chuck Norris can juggle people juggling chainsaws.
Why should you always give an emo a high five in the hallway? You can’t leave them hanging.
What do you call it when you baptize a Mexican? Bean dip!
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They can’t find home.
My mom told me that drugs are my enemies... But Jesus said to love my enemies.
The twin towers are like water bottles.
It's all right if you knock them down as long as you pick up the mess.
My friend called me a dick earlier. I said, "You are what you eat." He then proceeded to run away from me.