Worst Jokes Ever
I heard that to slow the growth of fire, you use a flame retardant.
So I threw my stupid son in the flames when my house caught on fire!
Your mama so fat, when she asked for a water bed they put a blanket over the Pacific Ocean.
What do you call a Mexican midget?
A paragraph, because he’s not a full Esé.
Why was 6 afraid to go camping with 7?
Because 7 wanted to bring two knives for survival, but 6 secretly knew that 7 hated him, and didn’t have benign intentions.
Read this out loud to yourself and it’ll make sense. ;)
Why won't Trump be subject to impeachment?
Answer: Because Republicans in Congress insist that every baby be brought to full term!
What's the difference between snow men and snow women?
Snow balls.
I had sex with my boss's daughter.
I didn't get fired. I'm self-employed.
When your friend asks why you don't smile, then you look at them and realize no one is there because you have no friends. #my life
Do you like Wendy's? When deez nutz are in your mouth.
Feel my shirt...it's boyfriend material.
Give a man a plane ticket and he'll fly for a day. Push a man from a plane and he'll fly for the rest of his life.
What's the difference between a school bus and my Dad's van?
School buses usually don't have screaming and crying children.
My friend: "Ess, stop with the self-harm jokes it's not funny."
Me: "C'mon it's not that deep."
There are two types of people in Alabama: the orphans and the incests.
You know what the worst thing about gang rape is?
Having to wait your turn.
Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
I like my couches like my women... Old, used, and big enough to fit 3 men.
I'm telling my kids that in 2020 I survived world war 3, the zombie apocalypse, the invasion of the murder hornets, and the second American revolution.
What's black and screams?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron.
A man walks into a bar with his pet octopus and proudly claims the animal can play any musical instrument. The bartender pulls out a guitar from behind the bar and gives it to the octopus, which plays an amazing solo. Just then a Scotsman walks into the bar with a set of bagpipes. The octopus grabs the instrument and wrestles around with it on the ground, flailing about, making a horrible sound. The bartender says, "Hey, looks like he can't play that!" and the octopus says, "Play it? As soon as I get it's pajamas off, I'm gonna fuck it!"