Worst Jokes Ever
Crucifixion was the first T-pose.
A priest was driving down the road when a cop pulled him over.
The cop asked him if he had anything to drink. The priest said just water.
The cop said, "Then why can I smell wine?"
The priest said, "Good Lord, it happened again!"
What's the difference between you and a fridge? The fridge doesn't moan when I put my meat in.
I was once friends with a schizophrenic emo. He tried high-fiving a tree, but it only left him hanging.
When is it bedtime in the Jacksons' house?
When the big hand 🖐 meets the little 🤚.
Bf: What do you think about our love?
Gf: Count the stars in the sky.
Bf: Aww, it's infinity.
Gf: Nope, just a waste of time.
Question: Why did the blonde get excited after finishing a puzzle in 5 months?
Answer: The box said 3-5 years!
Flat earthers are completely wrong. If the earth was flat, I would have yeeted myself off the edge years ago!
What do you call a physically handicapped heterosexual man that is in a wheelchair and German?
A physically handicapped promiscuous heterosexual man that is German.
Decisions taken by world leaders often have great significance during a crisis.
The Americans, in particular, are suffering many losses during the current global pandemic. Remember, in the 1980's they had Ronald Reagan, Johnny Cash, and Bob Hope.
In 2020 they have Donald Trump, no Cash, and no Hope!
Nice! Angry Birds really has improved.
Scientists found water on Mars, mars-1 africa-0.
Today is the day of 9/11, and we were in class making jokes, and somebody said, "That's sad." I was like, "Why?" And they said, "Today is the day the towers went down." I said, "Just like I did on your mum last night."
Did the people of England see a "game over" sign in the sky when the queen died?
What happens when an asian with an erection bumps into a wall? he breaks his nose
I am throwing a party in space. Can you help me planet?
Roses are not always red, Violets are violet, not blue. Irises are never red, Petunias can be kinda blue.
What does this tell us 'cept you can't trust a poet to tell the truth.
A woman is on the edge of a bridge, about to commit suicide, when a strange man comes up to her.
"Tell me, why do you wish to end your life?" he asks in a booming but gentle voice.
"My children died last year in a car crash, I'm battling depression, my husband left me, and I lost my job," she sobs. "I don't wish to live anymore."
The man mulls this over, and proclaims, "I will solve all your problems, as I am a wizard and possess unfathomable abilities. However, you must grant me a blowjob first."
The delighted woman readily agrees, takes him below the bridge, and fulfills his request. After they're done, he asks, "How old are you?"
"37," she replies, wiping her mouth.
"You're 37 and you still believe in wizards?"
How do you know it’s a gay guy’s birthday?
Depends how hard they blow out the candles.
Wife: "I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?"
Husband: "You have perfect eyesight."