Worst Jokes Ever
Why are vaginas and the Mariana Trench similar? Lots of seamen go missing there.
My friend says to me: "What rhymes with orange?" I said: "No it doesn't."
What's one of the worst motivational things to say to a suicidal person?
“Hang in there!”
Your hairline looks like someone tried to erase it using Microsoft Paint.
What's the hardest part about being a paedophile?
Trying to fit in.
What do you call a non-binary person that is lactose intolerant?
Non-buy dairy.
My dad is like my virginity. I lost him at 12.
What kind of shoes do kidnappers wear?
White vans.
How do you know when you should tell a heterosexual woman to stop sucking your dick?
When there is blood coming out of your dick instead of sperm.
I got them red Gucci bracelets.
I got arrested on suspicion of attempted rape all because I was carrying some cable ties, a bit of tape and a piece of cloth. It's such a joke, I hadn't even bought the chloroform yet.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why?
To get to the idiot's house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
Where does a girl with one leg work?
IHOP.
Someone: When you suffer from depression and someone tells you to cheer up.
Me: My, what a great idea! Why didn't I think of that? ;)
When I get naked in the shower, it gets turned on.
What's black, white, and red all over?
A nun that fell down the stairs.
What's black, white, and laughing?
The nun that pushed her.
lowkey "discharge" is an ugly word. I prefer créme de la meow meow.
Why can't dinosaurs clap? Because they're dead.
A wild Iceberg appears! Titanic uses ram! It is not very effective. (Titanic sinks.)
"This morning, I came out my front door to see my neighbor frantically trying to scrub off the word "PEDO" that had been spray-painted on his front window."
"What's been going on, John?" I asked.
"Fucking kids," came his mumbled reply.
The dirty bastard!