Worst Jokes Ever
I hate child murderers, they're always so high-pitched.
Why does Peter Pan always fly? Because he Neverlands.
My undergrad was killer. It was murder in the first degree.
Q: What's the difference between me and cancer?
A: My dad didn't beat cancer...
What are the similarities between an orphan and a newborn plant?
Both their parents were separated.
If Germany is the father land, and Russia is the mother land, would WWII just be domestic violence?
What did the nut chasing the other nut say? "I'mma cashew!"
I am a big fan of whiteboards. I find them quite re-markable.
What should you do if the dishwasher breaks?
Kick her.
Why is Helen Keller's child blind too? She always fed it with a fork!
Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff?
Tequila.
What’s the difference between a woman with PMS and a terrorist?
You can negotiate with a terrorist.
Yo mama is so skinny, she can dodge raindrops.
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
Because she's a woman.
I'll never forget my brother's last words: "Why is there a revolver in your hand?"
Why did the emo kid not cross the road?
He was waiting for a car.
How did the Germans conquer Poland so fast? They marched in backwards and the Polish people thought they were leaving.
I SH so much, even when I die and become a ghost, you can see red stripes floating around the room.
What was the pedophile charged with when he was arrested? A minor offense.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples are actually picked.