Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the coffee file a police report? -- Because it was mugged.
where do suicide bombers go when they die? everywhere!
My favorite joke: My life.
What's the best thing about fucking twenty-one year olds?
That there's twenty of them hoo hoo hee hooo harr haar dee harr harr
Did you hear the joke about the butter?
What is it?
I can’t tell you, you’ll spread it.
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood on her son’s dick.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.
What's so great about dead baby jokes? They never get old.
You wanna know what I want for Christmas? My dad to come back with the milk he said he was gonna get.
How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
You give them a Sandy Hook.
What does a cow watch?
MooTube.
What's a rapist's fav position?
Missionary in a dark corner.
How do you know if spaghetti is a boy or a girl? It's meatballs.
Do your buses run on time?
No, they run on diesel.
If you are going to make fun of someone, make fun of orphans. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
Double whammy.
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer, it never gets old.
Q: What do you get when you cross a cow and a smurf?
A: Blue cheese.
Me: Happy birthday! I got you a Rubix cube! Friend: I hate you. Me: Why? Friend: I'm color blind.
One day I told my wife that she drew her eyebrows too high.
She looked surprised.
A man receives a phone call from his doctor.
The doctor says, "I have some good news and some bad news."
The man says, "OK, give me the good news first."
The doctor says, "The good news is, you have 24 hours to live."
The man replies, "Oh no! If that's the good news, then what's the bad news?"
The doctor says, "The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday."
What is black and white and is dead?
My Chemical Romance.
what do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
a family photo.