Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call it when a drunk cowgirl falls off her stool at the bar?
A hoedown.
ADHD stands for Attention Deficit Hey Donut.
Baptism, a chance for the priest to bathe you.
I don't like 9/11 jokes, they tend to crash and burn.
What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a bicycle and a badly dressed man on a unicycle? Attire.
This isn't a joke, but I'm a survivor and use humor to cope. I find these extremely funny, so please leave the people writing these alone 😭
I either want to hang, stab, or shoot myself. I'm dying to choose.
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jill’s candy, but Jack had a shock with a mouth full of cock cause Jill’s real name was Randy.
With a tight cheeked fanny and shlong expandy, Jack’s face turned uncanny. Off he ranny to tell granny his best friend was a tranny.
I have 5 fingers and the middle one is for you
Why is the German blind?
Because he's a "not see."
What is the difference between Catholics and Lutherans?
Catholics are registered sex offenders.
Fun fact: Most of the black holes in the universe are found in Africa!
Fat chicks be like, "Am I fox pretty, bunny pretty, cat pretty, or deer pretty?" Like none, bitch, you elephant pretty. 😭😭😭
I have sex daily, I mean dyslexia, fuck!
When a clock goes forward, it's tic-tac, but when Rommel goes backwards, it's tactic!
Son: Hey Dad, what's an alcoholic?
Dad: Well son, do you see those 4 cars? An alcoholic would see 8.
Son: Dad, there are only 2 cars.
What is an orphan's family reunion called?
Me time.
Two Italian men get on a bus.
They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. They speak with an Italian accent.
The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
"Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more.
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."
I would make a Paul Walker joke, but it would crash and burn.
What does a killer say in the shower in the morning?
- Splish splash, I'm gonna slash...