Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

To be the perfect German, you need to be as thin as Göring, as tall as Goebbels, and as blonde as Hitler.

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  • If somebody cuts their leg off and hits you with it, would they be kicking or hitting you?

    I was on the Oregon trail with my friend's brother, Carl. He got cholera, so we threw him off the wagon. When we came back, he was having a seizure and pooping uncontrollably. It was pretty cholerious.

    What do the initials NOW stand for?

    (A.) National Organization For Women

    (B.) National Organization of Whores

    (C.) All the above

    Answer:

    Since the initials NOW can stand for anything, the correct answer is all the above.

    Why did the Xbox player cross the road? To render in the buildings.

    Nike isn't helpful for suicidal people. You can't tell them to "Just Do It."

    The wine taster at an old vineyard died. A homeless guy, looking ragged and dirty, came to apply. He persuaded the manager to give him a try.

    The guy was given a glass of wine. He swirled, smelled, sipped, and spit. “It's a red wine, Merlot, three years old, grown on the South Slope and matured in oak barrels,” he said. "Impressive," said the manager.

    The man is given another. “Still a red wine, Cabernet, eight years old, from the Northeast slope, stored in steel vats.”

    The manager was amazed. He winked at his secretary. The secretary understood and brought out a glass of urine. The drunkard tasted it and said, “It's a blond, 27 years old, three months pregnant, and if I don't get this job, I'll tell who the father is!”

    A girl and boy are in bed after sex. The boy goes, “I can’t believe they got together after all that shit.” The girl says, “Who?” The boy goes, “My ass cheeks.”

    Why is it so hard to choose between buying a Subaru or a Volvo? Because you’re deciding whether you want to look like a rapist or a pedophile.