Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Friend

  • I told my suicidal friends to stop posting suicidal memes. They said they will stop soon.

  • 1
  • Chess

  • Why doesn’t the US want to play chess with the UK?

    The US is already down 2 towers, and the UK has an unkillable queen.

  • 8
  • Citizen

  • Three citizens were going through an exam to become agents of the FBI. Their instructor handed the first guy a gun in a room with his wife and said he had to shoot her. He walked out in shame and said he couldn't do it. The second guy had the same scenario. He put the gun up, but couldn't pull the trigger, so he walked out in shame. The third guy was put in the same scenario. He walked out and told the instructor, "The gun wasn't loaded, I had to strangle the bitch."

  • 18
  • Orphan

  • What's the difference between orphans and girlfriends? I don't have 100 girlfriends locked in my basement.

  • 6
  • Feminist

  • How do you rape a feminist? Tell her you are a woman and she will let you do whatever. You won't even need to force it.

  • 1
  • Yo mama

  • Yo mama so stupid, she tried to take Snoop Dogg for a walk.

    Yo mama so stupid, she tried to put Vin Diesel in her gas tank.

    Yo mama so stupid, she tried to mop the floor with Taylor Swift.

    Yo mama so stupid, she tried to ring Kristen Bell.

    Yo mama so stupid, she tried to skim Dwayne Johnson across a lake.

  • 0
  • Skinny

  • Me: If a skinny person goes skinny dipping, then what do fat people do?

    My friend: Chunky dunks.

  • 6
  • Baby

  • What's worse than a dead baby?

    A pile of dead babies. What's worse than that? The one on the bottom is alive. And what's worst than that is, the baby has to eat its way out.

  • 11
  • Tattoo

  • I went to the tattoo shop and asked for a skull.

    A Jewish guy behind me said, "A skull? Back in my day, we could only get numbers!"

  • 1