Worst Jokes Ever

What time is bedtime at Michael Jackson’s house?

When the big hand touches the little hand.

What did the dick say to the condom?

Cover me, I'm going in. 😚😏

Welcome to Morgan's Morgue and Pizzeria where yesterday's loss is today's sauce!

Your forehead is so big that you dream in 4K.

What's the difference between a battery and my wife? The battery has a positive side.

Q. What walks through alleys and has a hole in it?

A. Batman's parents.

Why do you call a priest a father? Because calling them daddy would be too sus.

What's got 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet?

The finish line at the Boston Marathon.

You walk into a McDonald's and you ask for some extra mayo, and they put too much on there.

I say I didn't order a "McCumshot."

I got kicked out of the library for putting a book about women's rights in the fantasy section.

If there is a hair, the meat is ruined.

So my mom sent a text saying, "I'm gonna need help carrying groceries when I get back." That was 3 months ago.

Husband: "I think I might take a picture of your breasts and frame it."

Wife: "I think I'll take a picture of your penis and enlarge it."

I made a website to adopt orphans. But there is no home page.

When a cookie 🍪 wins a race, what will the crowd say?

“Chip Chip Hooray!”

How to get quick cash:

Step 1: Kill a child's parents.

Step 2: Do foster care for them.

Step 3: Get paid for doing foster care.

How did the black woman name her 4 babies?

Tyrone, Tyrone, Tyrone, and Tyrone.

How did she differentiate them?

She called them by their last names.

How do we know that Princess Diana had dandruff?

Because they found her head and shoulders in the glovebox.

A few kids were talking about how big their houses were. Kids were pointing to huge houses and huge apartments. One little boy said, "Bet I have the biggest home." To everyone's surprise, he pointed right towards the massive orphanage.

This is not even a joke, it's a serious question... Is eating ass considered cannibalism?