Worst Jokes Ever
Why are we depressed? Is it because of that bully in your school, or because you have acne? How about when you listen to your sad song playlist? Maybe it's because you have no friends? Or is it the fact your anime girlfriend is fake? T^T
So who did it? the I.S.S. teacher said.
1 hour before:
So let me get...
Random person: Wait, what? You BROKE UP WITH HER!
Me: I SWEAR, JHONNY, THIS IS THE 3RD TIME YOU BUTT INTO MY CONVERSATION! SO... HERE... YOU... GO! *punches*
What's the cheapest kind of meat you can buy?
Deer balls. They're under a buck.
A nun walked into a bar with her clothes on inside out. The bartender asked her about it, and she replied, "It's a bad habit."
Remember: Alcohol doesn't solve your problems, but neither does milk or water.
Why was Mrs. Claus upset?
Because Santa only comes once a year.
So yesterday, I was at an orphanage, harassing children by twerking at them.
They burst into tears.
I was worried that they would call their mom, well... um... I got away.
An orphanage got robbed yesterday. Let's just say that's the second worst thing to happen to those orphans. At least they didn't end up like their parents.
Why do Americans suck at chess?.......... They already lost two towers.
A programmer and his wife.
She says, "We're out of bread. Please go to the grocery store and buy one. And if they've got eggs, get six."
After a while, he's back with six loaves of bread.
The wife asks, "Why did you buy 6 loaves of bread?"
He replies, "They had eggs."
If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb up to the top of your ego and jump to your IQ.
Michael Jackson was working on a cover of a popular Elton John song when he died...
His version was to be called "Don't Let Your Son Go Down on Me"...
What do you call a Dino stripper?
A dinowhore.
Why do orphans play Sims?
Because they can make themselves a family.
I pushed the kid in the wheelchair down the hill, but before I did, I set his wheels on fire and called him "hot wheels."
What do you call a midget psychic that has escaped from prison?
A small medium at large.
Call me a worn-out sweater because I’m hanging on by a thread.
That’s about to become a rope around my neck.
what is it called when an illegal immigrant is getting raped?
alien vs predator
Why does Santa have three gardens?
So he can Hoe Hoe Hoe!
If I went to Walmart, I would be able to scan my own wrists because they're barcodes too.