Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a blonde in the freezer?
Her parents named her Cindy, so we should probably continue to call her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.
"Dude, can you believe Republicans are opposed to homosexuality, women's rights, and immigration, yet they are silent when it comes to incest and child molestation?"
"Well, I'm not surprised. Republicans have to win the Alabama vote, or else."
What's the difference between $1 million and baby teeth?
I don't have $1 million in my wallet.
What's the difference between Stephen and a car? A car loses oil, Stephen loses the ability to walk.
An American and an Asian walk into a bar. What are your names? the bartender asks. The American says, "William Matthews." The Asian says, "Same Ting."
What is the difference between an old chest and a kid? One doesn't cry when you drop it in the basement.
Keep the planet clean. It's not Uranus.
Girl: "...I like you... do you like me back?"
Me: "Nope."
Girl: *is depressed* "Oh okay...."
Me: "You never said \"love\"".
Girl: "Oh! well do you love me?"
Me: "Frick no."
Why did the orphan become a criminal? It wants to be wanted.
How to fall down stairs.
Step 1. Step 2. Step 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.
What's an astronaut's favorite candy? A Milky Way!
What’s the only long-lasting thing from China?
Covid.
What did the skeleton say to the other? "Wow, that song, 'Spooky Scary Skeletons,' really does send chills down my spine!"
The last joke about the dad was a joke. Don't take it seriously. Can't believe that people actually think that was true.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
What do ghosts put on their bagels 🥯?
Scream Cheese 😱.
I was about to say an African joke, but it was too dry.
Why is Santa's sack so big?
He only comes once a year.
OTHERS (MOTIVATED): If I had FLYING as a SUPERPOWER, FALLING would be the BEGINNING STAGE.
ME (DEPRESSED): OK, GOOD IDEA! LETS FALL OFF THE CLIFF AND FLY TO HEAVEN!!
Are you a pirate? Because I have a lot of seamen waiting for you 😉