Worst Jokes Ever
John Cena once insulted Chuck Norris. That's why we can't see him anymore.
What do you call a rich Asian?
Cha-ching!
Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys? He was playing by ear.
"I bought my little sister a trampoline for her birthday, but all she wants to do is sit in her wheelchair and cry."
Heterosexual sodomy is like religion. If you were forced to accept it when you were younger, you probably would not like it when you become an adult.
An infinite amount of mathematicians walked into a bar. The first ordered a pint, the second ordered a half pint, the third ordered a fourth-pint, etc. The Bartender eventually walked up and gave them two pints and said: "You mathematicians don't know your limits."
Someone: PLEASE EAT! I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE!
Me: *Trying to remember how long it would take me to die of starvation because I've already googled it and given up because it takes too long.*
Me: Na, yeah, I still have 19 days left.
Me: Would you like to be the sun in my life?
Her: Awww... Yes!!!
Me: Good, then stay 92.96 million miles away from me.
Your forehead is so big your inner thoughts echo.
Why did Sally get to go to Hawaii for free?
She washed up on the beach.
I hate myself.
People keep telling me they hope Kenny never has kids.
I don't think that's a worry. His mom is much too old to get pregnant.
What's green and smells like ham?
Kermit the frog's fingers.
You are walking through the woods when you cross a woman who has been raped and beheaded. What is the first thing you do?
Check your map, youāre obviously going in circles.
What is worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies.
What's worse than that? The one at the bottom is still alive.
What is worse still? It has to eat its way out.
What's worse than that? It went back for seconds.
God creating bees.
God: "Put a needle on their butt."
Angel: "Come on, God, wha-"
God: "Make its puke delicious."
Angel: "WTF"
What kind of games do they play in Africa? The hunger games.
I am right 95 percent of the time, who cares about that other 5 percent?
What do you call a rich Chinese man? Ching Ching.
What do you get when you insert human DNA into a goat? Banned from the petting zoo!