Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Psycho

  • I love how in horror movies the person calls out, "Hello," as if the psycho will answer, "Hey, what's up? I'm in the kitchen. Want a sandwich?"

  • 18
  • Wheelchair

  • A man sees a crying woman by a pond. She is in a wheelchair and has no arms or legs.

    He asks her why she is crying, and she answers that she has never been hugged. Feeling pity, he hugs her, then jogs away.

    The next day, he finds her crying again, and she says she has never been kissed. The man kisses her and jogs away again.

    On the third day, the man sees her crying and asks her thrice. She tells him she has never been fucked. The man picks her up and throws her in the pond, telling her, "You're fucked now!"

  • 1
  • Cockroach

  • My mom has a policy where if you kill a butterfly, no butter for a week, and if you kill a grub, no grub for a week.

    She killed a cockroach today. I have some bad news for her.

  • 3
  • Dog

  • My girlfriend's dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one.

    It just made her more upset. She screamed at me, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"

  • 10
  • Wife

  • I thought my wife was joking when she said she was gonna leave me because I wouldn’t stop singing “I'm a believer,” but then I saw her face.

  • 2
  • Hospital

  • What's the difference between a Catholic hospital and Michael Jackson's Children's Hospital?

    No seriously, what is it?

  • 1
  • Shooting

  • I recently learned that it's politically incorrect to talk about taking part in a school shooting.

    Apparently the term "school photos" is more acceptable.

  • 0
  • Basement

  • What is the difference between a preschool and my basement?

    Little kids leave preschool.

  • 9