Worst Jokes Ever
I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage.
I lost the case.
When deaf people see someone yawning, do they think they're screaming?
What's the best response to a girl saying, 'What's up?'
'If I tell you, will you sit on it?'
Q: What do you call 6 gay men in the army?
A: Rainbow Six Siege.
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user?
Fast food.
What is the difference between a whore and an onion?
You don't cry when you chop a whore.
Tomorrow is Christmas, and I'm giving myself a present that I can't wait to open. It's my wrist. (Yes, this was inspired by a Fall Out Boy song.)
What's a pirate's favorite letter?
(People will then say "r")
Arrr, you think it be "r" but really it's the "C" that they love.
What's a pirate's least favorite letter?
Dear sir,
You are being investigated for downloading illegal copyrighted material, and your internet will be cut off.
What's the best thing about fucking twenty-one year olds?
That there's twenty of them hoo hoo hee hooo harr haar dee harr harr
They say they'll stay, but I left first.
Hey, what is the difference between a painting and a wife?
Only the wife was hung up.
I knocked on Stephen Hawking's door, but nobody answered...
All I got was "error 404 page not found."
What do you call a Muslim sleepover?
Osamas in Pajamas.
Sunday was a sad day, but yesterday was a sadder day.
A man sees a small boy begging for money. He walks up to him and asks him if he is an orphan.
The boy asks, "What gave me away?"
The man responds, "Your parents."
A woman gets rid of polish with chemicals and no one bats an eye The Germans got rid of polish with chemicals and everyone lost their mind
In preschool, I confessed my love to my crush, and she rejected me. As heartbroken as I was, I sucked it up and went back to teaching.
Why do you call a priest a father? Because calling them daddy would be too sus.
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
Because they ordered pepperoni pizza and they got plain!
Why did Yoda go to jail for rape?
He doesn't get consent; he just uses the force.