Worst Jokes Ever
I knocked on Stephen Hawking's door, but nobody answered...
All I got was "error 404 page not found."
what was Juice WRLD before he was famous?
Answer: alive.
What is the difference between a Rubik’s cube and a penis? I don’t know, but they both get harder the more you play with them.
Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?
He only comes once a year.
What happens when a skeleton does not laugh at your pun?
Looks like someone's funny bone is broken. 😁
What do you call a fight between an illegal immigrant and a pedophile? Alien vs Predator.
What website should you go to to look up LSD dealers?
TripAdvisor.com
I found this game, it's like flappy bird: https://terrorist.group/
What did the Mexican man say when his house fell on him?
"Get off me homes."
Why don’t witches wear underwear?
To get a better grip on their broom.
Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!
Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage!
Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!
Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!
What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”
How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder!
What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!
Can some hot depressed suicidal guy give me his number so we can cry about being depressed and wanting to die?
What's the twin towers' favorite football team?
New York Jets.
A priest was driving down the road when a cop pulled him over.
The cop asked him if he had anything to drink. The priest said just water.
The cop said, "Then why can I smell wine?"
The priest said, "Good Lord, it happened again!"
Yo mama is so fat, she takes her selfies in panoramic mode.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
What is an orphan's family portrait called?
A self-portrait.
Five little monkeys jumping on the bed,
One fell off and bumped his head.
The momma called the doctor and the doctor said...
“We’re calling Child Protective Services.”
Why do orphans play GTA?
So they can feel wanted.
I took my mother-in-law out yesterday morning.
Damn, I love being a sniper.