Worst Jokes Ever
You know how to get 10,000 followers? Run through Africa with a bottle of water.
I love rap!
At baseball practice...
"Hey John, did you bring the bucket of balls?"
"No, but I got two right here."
Why can't blind people eat fish?
Because it's sea food.
Why can't an orphan be gay? Because they don't have anyone to call "daddy."
So this guy is talking to his buddy about his flying lessons. "My first time in the air, my instructor informed me that he was an 8th degree black belt and homosexual, and if I don't succumb to his sexual advances I would have to jump out of the plane," and his buddy says, "Well, did you jump?" The guy says, "Yeah, a little at first."
Why don’t old people have sex?
When was the last time you tried pulling apart a grilled cheese that old?
What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?
He got so many plastic surgeries that they melted him down into legos and let kids play with him for a change.
What do you call a depressed emo? Dead.
What do you call your angry French aunt?
A crossaunt.
One day at school, Little Johnny and his friends were asked to do a sheet of paper which said, “Put a matching word from the word bank into the slot in the sentence that makes it make sense.” But when the teacher marked Little Johnny's papers, she asked why he put the word "bank" in every slot. And he says, “Well teacher, you said to put a word from the word bank and that's one word! So I had no choice but to put down that word!”
In memory of Michael Jackson, Vienna Beef, as well as various places, is introducing the Jackson Dog. A 50 year old sausage between a 9 year old bun.
What is the Titanic's favorite mint?
Icebreakers.
What do tomatoes 🍅 learn to do in a race?
Ketchup!
What happened to the frog that partied illegally?
He got TOAD away!
Yo mama so old when she farts, dust comes out.
What do you call an emo a cappella group?
Self harmony.
A duck walks into a bar. The duck says to the bartender, "Hey bartender, got any bread?" The bartender says, "No." Then the duck says, "Hey bartender, got any bread?" The bartender says, "NO!" The duck says, "Hey bartender, got any bread?" The bartender says, "No, and if you say that one more time I will nail your bill to this bar!" The duck says, "Hey bartender, got any nails?" The bartender says, "No." The duck says, "Well then, bartender, got any bread?"
Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some marijuana. Jack got high and slapped her thigh and said "you know you wanna". Jill said yes, pulled down her dress, and then they had some fun. Silly Jill forgot the pill and now they have a son.
What did Michael Jackson say before he died, as far as his childhood? "This is it."