Worst Jokes Ever
I won't reply to every joke today because I want to say thanks to everyone for making funny jokes here. Every time I have a bad day (almost everyday), I always go here and read relatable jokes. It makes me happy and it's making me less anxious. I am really stressed with my school work and everything; I feel that I'm being left alone. Everyone compares me to others and all I can do is listen. I don't get enough sleep because of it... Reading these jokes entertains me and makes me laugh so hard.
I apologize for my grammar.
Today I got a lecture from my mother, and congratulated her. Why?
Because she managed not to damage me in a physical fashion.
I once told a chemistry joke... sadly, it got no reaction.
What do a shopping cart and a wheelchair have in common? They both carry vegetables.
I can't find out where Stephen Hawking is from, I just can't place his accent.
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas?
Gloves........ just kidding, he hasn’t opened it yet.
If you were driving when all of a sudden a young kid and an old man run right in front of you, what do you hit?
The brakes, you sick bastard.
What's similar between a blind kid and an orphan?
They both can't see their parents.
What college can Stephen Hawking not attend?
"Stand" Ford University. :3
When the quiet kid has an argument with the school shooter, and you didn't get to pull out the AK.
Dark humor is like food, some just don't get it.
You wanna know how to get rid of potential scam callers?
Next time you get a call from them, just answer the phone and say, "Pizza Hut abortion clinic, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce, how may I help you?"
What do astronauts eat off of? A satellite dish.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A lick-a-lot-of-puss!
America.
Why do we tell actors to "break a leg"?
Because every scene has a cast!
Hi, if you are suffering with depression and want to talk about it, please do so in the comments, and just know you are NOT alone.
What do girls and noodles have in common?
They both wiggle when you eat them.
These three men wanted to start a band. One had the idea to call them the Rolling Stones, one wanted to call them the Veggies, the other said, "Let's be the Cripples," as they all rolled away.
What’s one good thing about pedophiles?
They drive slow in school zones.