Worst Jokes Ever
What did the Indian boy say to his mother as he left for school? -- "Mumbai!"
Why do people think Jesus is going to come back? He wasn’t nailed to a fucking boomerang!
I made a website for orphans.
It doesn't have a home page.
Why did Helen Keller's cat run away? I would run away if my name was jufhvfhvurhkso.
To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket, "You can hide but you can't run."
What’s worse than nailing 10 babies to 1 tree?
Nailing 1 baby to 10 trees.
Everyone: So, wait, let me get this straight. Feminists want to cancel Father's Day because it is offensive to single mothers.
Feminists: Correct.
Everyone: Then what the f*** is the point of Mother's Day?
Why do we tell actors to break a leg?
So they can get in the cast!
Why are most firefighters men? Because they like to find hot places and leave them wet.
Teacher: Where's your homework?
Student: At home...
Teacher: What's it doing there?
Student: Having a better time than me.
What do you call a sex offender attending church? A priest.
I started debating whether or not suicide is a good option. Self-harm just hasn’t been cutting it lately.
To whoever you are, you are loved.
If you watch "Jaws" backward, it will be a heartwarming story about a shark who gives arms and legs to disabled people.
They say they found water on Mars. Mars 1, Africa 0.
My kids are so ungrateful. I got them a new dishwasher and they just won't stop complaining about their mom.
How do you know if there's a vegan in the room?
Wait 2 minutes and they'll tell you.
What's the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese girl?
You gotta drop the bomb twice before she gets it.
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What has four legs and one arm?
A Rottweiler in a children’s playground.
Why can't an orphan go to a field trip?
Parent's signature: ___________