Worst Jokes Ever
How do you get an emo out of a tree?
Just cut the rope.
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
Depresso expresso.
JK, it's bleach.
Have you ever tried North Korean food?
Neither have the North Koreans.
Where can you find some of the world's largest vegetables? -- In an American nursing home.
That moment when the emo kid hangs himself in a bathroom stall, and the autistic kid thinks it's a pinata.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Déjà Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull before.
Why does Waldo wear stripes?
'Cause he doesn't want to be spotted.
You know how in Pinocchio the French puppets have the thigh rings?
Well, I got them too! Only red and thinner.
What game do zombies like to play?
Corpse and Robbers.
I saw this really old guy with the Hitler stache, so I decided to start beating him up.
It was very weird when a camera crew came out with Harrison Ford and started yelling at me.
What is the best cure for aging?
Suicide.
Knott and Shott got into a gunfight. Knott was shot and Shott was not. Therefore, it was better to be Shott than Knott. But what if the shot Shott shot didn't hit Knott but Shott? Then the shot Shott shot shot Shott.
What do you call a Trump Supporter?
A piece of $hit!
I just found out I'm colorblind. News came out of the purple.
1273. Depression got the best of me. I'm gonna cry in my room now.
What did one fish say to the other?
Keep your mouth shut and you'll never get caught.
Jon said: What do you call a pregnant woman?
Mike said: I don’t know, what?
Jon said: Kinder surprise.
The maid asked her boss, the wife, for a raise, and the wife was upset.
The wife asked, "Why do you think you deserve a pay increase?"
Maid: "There are three reasons. The first is that I iron better than you."
Wife: "Who said that?"
Maid: "Your husband."
Wife: "Oh."
Maid: "The second reason is that I am a better cook than you."
Wife: "Who said that?"
Maid: "Your husband."
Wife: "Oh."
Maid: "The third reason is that I am better at sex than you."
Wife: "Did my husband say that as well?"
Maid: "No, the gardener did."
Wife: "So how much do you want?"
Two men walk into a bar. You'd think the second one would've seen it.