Worst Jokes Ever
My grandfather never threw anything away, bless him. He died in the war holding on to a hand grenade.
I told my mum the refrigerator was running, so she got dressed and ran after it...
Hi, if you are suffering with depression and want to talk about it, please do so in the comments, and just know you are NOT alone.
Pickup line; Hey mama, you school? Cuz I'd like to shoot some kids up in you.
What do you call a born-again heteroflexible male that is a Christian nationalist who thinks he is bisexual when the LGBT community knows that he is bicurious and that he is on steroids and that the LGBT community knows that he is not telling the truth about that? He is a gay man that is in the closet. He should be forced out of the closet by gay men in the LGBT community by any means necessary if gay men in the LGBT community still want to defend the wall of separation of church and state by any means necessary.
Q. What does Michael Jackson get his sex partners as a gift?
A. Crayons.
Proof that 9/11 isn't a government plot.
It worked.
What was the last thing to run through Osama bin Laden's mind? Probably a bullet.
Me: Are you an orphan?
Boy: Yeah, what gave me away?
Me: ....ur parents.
what's the difference between hitler and you?
one didn't keep posting on twitter about killing themselves.
I went to visit my friend's sick grandpa. He was lying in a hospital bed connected to a lot of tubes. When I approached him, he kept repeating "Nǐ cǎizhe wǒ de yǎngqì guǎn."
Suddenly, right in front of me, he passed. Later that night, I translated his last words, and they were, "You're standing on my oxygen tube."
What did the skeleton say before dinner? "Bone appetit." His whole family found that humerus.
Got a job at the library yesterday... It lasted fifteen minutes... Turns out books about women's rights don't belong in the fiction section.
What do you call a bee that lives in America? A USB.
Why is the USA so bad at chess?
Because they already lost two towers.
If a person in a wheelchair runs you over, can you call it a "hit and can't run"?
There was a cannibal who had a wife and eight kids.
What starts with e, ends with e, and only contains one letter? -- An envelope.
Q: Do you know why orphans rob banks?
A: Because it's a guarantee they'll be wanted afterwards.
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.