Worst Jokes Ever
I made a website for orphans.
It doesn't have a home page.
What do orphans call their parents?
Unicorns because they don’t exist.
My wife said if I don't get off the computer, she's gonna slam my head into the keyboard, but I think I'll ajlkfsdhnvkwr;anhf.
A patient walked into a psychiatrist's office last week wrapped in nothing but Saran Wrap. The psychiatrist said, "I can clearly see your nuts."
Someone stole my toilet, and the police have nothing to go on.
People in 1912: "Titanic is unstoppable, even God couldn't sink this ship."
God: "Bet, where are my icebergs?"
What's a skeleton's favorite food?
Spare ribs.
What’s the difference between a man and a margarita?
A margarita hits the spot every time.
What do you call a Mexican that lost his car?
Carlos.
Why can't two Chinese people have a white kid?
Two wongs don't make a white.
And God said to John, "Come forth, and you shall be granted eternal life."
But John came fifth and won a toaster.
How much pussy does a priest get? None.
What's the difference between a rooster and a prostitute?
The rooster says... "cock-a-doodle-doo." The prostitute says... "any cock will do."
Your career might be in the north, but it's going south :)
Alzheimer's protesters march chanting. "What do we want? Better treatment... When do we want it? ...Want what?"
What is the difference in having a granny fetish and necrophilia? A few weeks.
They found water on Mars. Mars:1 Africa:0
What do you get when you put a suicide bomber in a wheel chair? An RC-XD.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? Orphans don't get picked.
A deaf couple wants to know when to have sex.
The wife says, "If you want to have sex, squeeze my tits once. If you don't want to have sex, squeeze my tits twice."
The husband says, "OK, if you want to have sex, pull my dick once. If you don't want to have sex, pull my dick 437 times."
What's the difference between life and a rape joke?
Life fucks you until you stop breathing, a rape joke fucks you until it's not funny anymore.
I was walking down the street when I thought I smelled my ex's perfume. Turns out, I was standing in front of a fish market.