Worst Jokes Ever
If you push someone that's bullying, if you kill someone that's murder, if there is no evidence it's nothing.
My son asked me what dark humor was, so I told him, "see that kid in the wheelchair, ask him to stand." He said, "But Dad I'm blind." Exactly.
You're so scary that even your hairline ran away.
Why can’t orphans go on school field trips?
Parent Signature: ______
You'll end up DEAD if you don't stop COFFIN!!!
There are only 2 things I hate in this world:
1. People who are intolerant of other people's cultures. 2. The French.
How many times does Ariana Grande knock at the door?
She doesn’t, she just uses 7 rings.
What's a lesbian's favorite type of food?
Finger-food.
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user?
Fast food.
Billy: *spits out food*
Mom: BILLY! We swallow what we have in our mouths.
Dad: *looks at mom*
Mom: Shut up.
If you get it, you get it.
"Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too."
If someone burns to death, do they get a discount at the crematorium?
My therapist once said, "time heals all wounds." So I stabbed him. Now we wait...
How much work does a skeleton get done?
A SKELE-TON!
Did you hear the scores of the African basketball game?
It was Eight-Nothing.
Son: Dad, Dad, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG!!!!!!!
Dad: What's wrong? Are you OK?!
Son: Mia asked me out on a date on February 30th!
Dad: 'Cause there's no February 30th?
Once a woman suspected that her husband was fucking their daughter at night. So she made a plan. That night, she gave her daughter sleeping pills and told her husband that you go to sleep, I have a headache and I will sleep on the sofa in the drawing room today. After everyone slept, she picked up her sleeping daughter and laid her on the sofa and went to her bed and lay down. After an hour, the door of the room opened and one man entered the room and jumped on the bed and fucked her intensely for 2 hours. Then she turned on the light with the bed switch and said, "You definitely didn't expect me." "I definitely didn't expect you, MOM! But you are more delicious than sister"! Her son replied in surprise!
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What is the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
Why did the blind man fall down the well?
He couldn't see that well.