Worst Jokes Ever
- Yo mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow dress, people yell "Taxi!"
- Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to climb Mountain Dew.
- Yo mama is so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.
- Yo mama is so old, she knew Burger King when he was still a prince.
- Yo mama is so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention.
How do parents punish their blind kids?
They re-arrange the furniture.
Q. What do you give a sick lemon?
A. Lemon-aid.
Your hairline's so messed up that even Martin Luther King Jr. couldn't have a dream about it.
Why can't the USA and England play chess?
USA has no towers and England has no queen.
How do you verify a rape claim? You make it true.
So, I was sitting with my little brother and talking about our dreams. "What do you wanna be when you grow up?" I asked him. He answered, "A doctor!" I wanted to tease him so I said, "I wouldn't be treated by a doctor like you." I was hoping he would get mad or something, but instead, he calmly replied, "Brother, I said doctor. Not a vet."
A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
Never tell an orphan about a family matter; they wouldn't understand.
At my funeral, take the bouquet off the coffin and throw it into the crowd to see who's next.
What does a cannibal call people in water?
Sea food.
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.
What does a pizza delivery man and a gynecologist have in common?
They can both smell it, but they can’t eat it.
Daughter: "I know this is weird, but I feel like someone is watching me when I am sleeping."
Father: "Sorry."
What do you call a group of emos?
Suicide Squad.
Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face, and he asks her, "Why are you rubbing that stuff on your face, mother?"
His mother replies, "To make myself beautiful, Johnny."
A few minutes later, she starts rubbing the cream off with a tissue. Johnny says to her, "What is the matter? Are you giving up?"
How is being gay like a geology class? You can lick all the rocks you want.
Does anyone still look at this? If you do, tell me if I should make more jokes :)
Johnny is very attached to his parents. He asks to take a shower with her when she gets in. He looks down and asks, "What's that?" The mother replies, "That's my garage." He looks up and asks, "What are those?" The mother responds, "Those are my headlights."
He then goes and takes a shower with his dad. He looks down, "Daddy, what's that?" The dad replies, "That's my car." He goes to sleep that night and wakes up because of a bad dream. He goes and tells his mother and she says, "You can lay with me." He falls fast asleep then wakes up once more because of falling off the bed. He gets back up and gets under the covers. Then he feels the bed moving. He looks under the covers to investigate and sees them going at it. He then yells, "Mommy, turn on you're headlights, Daddy's parking his car in you're garage!" *THUD*
A kid asks his dad why his name is Experience. The dad says, "That's what we give our mistakes."