Worst Jokes Ever
A German soldier is walking down the street during a hail storm when a lady suddenly falls over after being hit. He, along with a few others, walk over to her. One man asks, "What happened?" and the soldier replies, "Hail hit her."
What does a pregnant slave and a payless sale have in common?
Buy one, get one free.
What kind of beer is an orphan's favorite?
Foster's!
"_____ abortion clinic, you rape it, we scrape it.
_____ sperm bank, you spank it, we bank it."
Why did the orphan go to church?
Because they need a father.
Where do poor Italians live?
The spaghetto.
What's the best thing you can do if you're feeling lonely?
Watch a scary movie. You won't feel lonely anymore.
What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection?
Quarter pounder with cheese.
The colors red, white, and blue are the colors of freedom. Until they are flashing behind you.
What's the one thing me and the New Year's ball have in common?
It's not gonna be the only thing falling 50 stories this New Year's.
Why do orphans like getting kidnapped? Because someone actually wants them. 🤣
What's the difference between a priest and a rabbi? A rabbi cuts it off, a priest sucks it off.
Did you hear about the new sex doll they've invented for Muslims?
It blows itself up!!
I want to make a joke about Kobe, but it won't land well.
Two women, Jane and Emma, are in the afterlife waiting for judgement.
Emma turns to Jane and says, "I'm just curious, but how did you die?"
Jane replies with, "I burnt to death."
Emma, shocked, responds with, "That sounds horrible! What was it like?"
Jane answers with, "It first felt really hot and painful, but then I felt nothing. How did you die?"
Emma replies with, "Well, I believed my husband was cheating on me. I decided to leave work early one day to make sure he was loyal. I found him on the phone with his mother. I thought he was hiding something from me so I ran to the bedroom and found nothing. Then I sprinted to the kitchen and didn't find anything. I then jolted outside to the backyard and just found that he hadn't cleaned the pool. I was so tired from running that I fell over into the pool and drowned."
Jane retorts with, "Well if you checked the oven neither of us would be here right now."
How does a peadophile help a kid with maths? He adds the bed, divides the clothes, and multiplies with the whole classroom.
What are the big mouths of feminists good for? Portable urinal for men.
My principal called my mom at school and said, "You should teach your son well." After coming back home, at first she taught me sex!
What do you call a ghost's fart?
A spirit bomb.
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family photo.