Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call someone in a wheelchair during a California fire?
A steamed vegetable.
Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in.
Don't break someone's heart. They only have one.
Break someone's bones. They have 206 of them.
Stephen Hawking walked into a bar...
Stop making 9/11 jokes, my father died in a plane crash.
Best pilot in Saudi Arabia.
What are some other names for rape? There’s the classic “struggle snuggle,” but then there’s my personal favorite “fuck fight”.
Suicidal people are groundbreaking.
I got in touch with my inner self today, it's the last time I use 1-ply toilet roll.
I’d make fun of transgender women, but that’s low hanging fruit.
Why'd the orphan cross the road? He was told his parents were on the other side.
Guys, we shouldn't make jokes about 9/11. My dad was a victim.
He was the best pilot in Arab.
I nailed my Jewish girlfriend so hard, she turned Christian.
Son: "Dad, are we pyromaniacs?"
Dad: "Yes, we arson."
What's the difference between a school bus and my Dad's van?
School buses usually don't have screaming and crying children.
The optimist thinks the glass is half full. The pessimist thinks the glass is half empty. The feminist thinks the glass is raping them.
Christopher's Mom said, "One man's trash is another man's treasure."
Turns out Christopher was adopted.
The CEO of IKEA was just elected Prime Minister in Sweden.
He should have his cabinet together by the end of the weekend.
bully: "Your life's a joke."
me: "My life's not a joke, jokes have meaning."
Your mom's so fat, when she sat on Walmart, she lowered the prices!
Why are there more female history teachers than male?
Because women like to bring up the past.