Worst Jokes Ever

I was in an argument with a "friend" at school. He said, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."

...so I threw a dictionary at him.

Stephen Hawking walked into a bar. Just kidding :(

When the school shooter breaks into the classroom, and you look at your friend because it's the kid you predicted.

911 jokes usually go over my head.

Then it hits me.

Q: What’s a koala's favorite drink?

A: Coca Koala.

How do you throw a surprise party at a hospital?

Bring a strobe light into the epilepsy ward.

Your mom is so fat when you printed the picture, it would not stop printing! 😂🤣

What do you call a family picture for an orphan?

A selfie.

Necrophilia in Alabama is fun for the whole family, even grandma.

According to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected.

When I get suicidal, everyone worries. I don't know why because that is when I'm the happiest, thinking about death.

One dark stormy night when I was 8 years old, I woke up in the middle of the night busting to pee. Half asleep, I walked down the stairs and toward the bathroom and heard a strange whirring sound that sounded like a ghost. When I opened the door, I felt a strange cool breeze and the light came on automatically, and the ghostly sound stopped. Terrified, I did what I had to and went back to bed.

The next 3 nights, the same thing happened, and finally, I decided I had to tell my mom no matter how hard to believe it sounded. The next night I woke up, I went into my parents' room and woke my mom up and said, "You have to come with me and see this, it's really important." Half asleep, she murmured, "Oh, what is it? Can't it wait until the morning?" I pleaded, "No, you have to come see, our bathroom is haunted by a ghost. When I go in the middle of the night, I can hear a ghost sound. Then when I open the door, I feel the cold as it swoops through me, and the light comes on automatically." She yawned and said, "Oh, so that's who's been peeing in the refrigerator."

How do terrorists feed their children?

Here comes the airplane.

My grandpa said, "You kids rely on too much electronics." I said, well we will see about that. *unplugging life support* me: *oops*

Other girls want a guy who is 6ft, but does me being 6ft under count?

Yo mama so fat, even Bob the Builder said, "We can't fix that!"

What's the most played game in Africa? Hunger Games.

What's the best way to catch a fish? Ask someone to throw it to you.

The broccoli says, "I look like a small tree." The mushroom says, "I look like an umbrella." The walnut says, "I look like a brain." And the banana says, "Can we please change the subject?"

What's the difference between my dad and my stepdad?

My stepdad beat my ass before he left.