Worst Jokes Ever
Why is the B so cool? Because itβs in between A and C.
Can I get a HOYA?
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
She had no arms.
Why couldn't she get up?
She had no friends.
Knock Knock (Who's there?)
Not Sally...
I showed my girlfriend my taser. She was stunned.
My girlfriend's dog died, so I got her a new one in replacement, and she went off on me and yelled,
"What am I supposed to do with 2 dead dogs in my house?!"
Even a psychopath is sympathetic when an onion self-harms!
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter, he won't come anyway.
Why are gay people bad at hide and seek?
Because they're always coming out of the closet.
"I told my black friend a joke. I told him he needs to lighten up!"
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high, grabbed her thigh, and said, "You know you wanna." Jill said yes and pulled up her dress, and then they had some fun, but silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a daughter.
Haha, I fucked you over!
Why are priests called father? Because it's too sus to call them daddy!
I'm doing a charity bungee jump for the local disabled.
It's called "spastics on elastics."
Me: I bombed the 2 tests yesterday.
Friend: What were the tests about?
Me: Japan.
Why are people mass buying toilet paper because of the coronavirus?
When someone sneezes, everyone shits their pants.
Today I saw a little boy wearing rags sitting on a curb. I said, "Awww, are you an orphan?" He said, "Yes, what gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."
What do you call a running chicken?
Scared.
Where was Moses when the lights went out? - In the dark!
What do you call Amber Heard crying during the lawsuit?
A DEPPression.
(If you are a fan of either Johnny Depp or Amber Heard, you might get the joke).
What's the difference between a baby and a baked potato?
About 140 calories.
Why is it that when I'm in school doing PE, it's fine for someone to say "boys against girls", but the moment I say "blacks against whites" I'm the bad guy?