Worst Jokes Ever
Q: How can you tell that a pedophile likes music?
A: He rapes D minor.
Q: What has two wings and a halo?
A: An Asian phone call, "Wing, Wing, Halo?"
Are you an orphanage?
Why?
Because I wanna put my kids in you.
I came home from school one day and told my cat a kid at school said I was an idiot and told me to go kick rocks, so I did, except I kicked him, not the rocks, and I called him the idiot for not moving out of the way.
I'll never forget my brother's last words: "Why is there a revolver in your hand?"
Why is the bible like a penis You get it forced down your throat by a priest
My girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile. That’s a big word for a six-year-old.
How long does it take for 5 babies to die in the microwave?
I don't know, I can't count while I masturbate...
I couldn't imagine being Abe Lincoln, that would be mind-blowing!
Why does the military recruit orphans?
Because homing missiles don’t target them.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high, grabbed her thigh, and said, "You know you wanna." Jill said yes and pulled up her dress, and then they had some fun, but silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a daughter.
Haha, I fucked you over!
What do maths and 9/11 have in common?
They both prove two parallel lines can be intercepted by a plane.
I can hear the whole world booing me.
Two men ran into a bar. You would have thought after the first one hit it, the second one would have seen it.
My girlfriend asked me if we could have anal sex, and I said, "What's that?" She said, "I fuck her ass." I said, "Oh, my uncle calls that shhhhh."
Your hairline is so bad even your gay friend is straighter than it.
My boss had the heart of a child.
In a jar. On his desk.
If you ever get mad, just hit an orphan.
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
I decided to visit Saudi Arabia with my girlfriend.
She and I learned they celebrate Pride month by throwing stones.
What’s the difference between a nose and an orphan? A nose gets picked more.