Worst Jokes Ever
How can a prostitute make more money than a drug dealer?
She can clean her crack and sell it again.
How does Hellen Keller drive?
With one hand on the wheel and the other on the road.
How much does it cost a pirate to pierce his ears?
A buccaneer.
Little Timmy wanted to take a shower with his dad. His dad said, "Don't look down." Timmy looked down. Timmy said, "What's that?" Timmy's dad said, "That's Mr. Wiggles." Timmy wanted to take a shower with his mom. Timmy's mom said, "Don't look down." Timmy looked down. Timmy said, "What's that?" Timmy's mom said, "That's my garden." Timmy's mom said, "Don't look up." Timmy looked up. Timmy said, "What are those?" Timmy's mom said, "Those are her headlights." Timmy wanted to sleep with his parents. His parents said, "Don't look under the covers." Timmy looked under the covers. Timmy yelled, "MOMMY, MOMMY, MR. WIGGLES IS ATTACKING YOUR GARDEN! TURN ON YOUR HEADLIGHTS!"
There's two types of emo people:
1. People that cut side to side.
2. And people that cut up and down.
The most efficient is up and down.
What do you call an old black person? Farming antique.
As a child, my mother always told me she was going horse riding. My whole life changed when I found out she was under the horse.
What's the difference between a joke and the Twin Towers? People don't laugh at my jokes.
Today was a bad day. First, my ex got hit by a bus. Then I lost my job as a bus driver.
One depressed kid goes to high-five a tree, but the tree just left him hanging.
My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.
Why did Steven Hawking have no friends?
He couldn’t stand anyone...
My mom asks, "How did you do this?" Me: "Naw, I did it with a fork. WHAT D'YA THINK?-"
Brojobs are like air. It's not important until you don't have any.
Why did the emo leave the bar?
Because it was happy hour.
Welcome to Morgan's Morgue and Pizzeria where yesterday's loss is today's sauce!
How do you create the world's quickest human pyramid?
Turn on the gas chamber.
What do the Twin Towers and gender have in common? There used to be two of them, but now it's a sensitive topic.
What kind of bees make milk?
BooBees.
What movie do orphans relate to the most?
Spider-Man: No Way Home