
Worst Jokes Ever
I kicked a ball into someone. Now I got a red card.
My wife thinks I'm immature, so I told her to get out of my fort.
Once I went to watch a match in Portugal. It was between Penaldo and his kids. The referee was Georgiana (his wife). Mpaypal and Igayspeed were also there. The match began, and his kids scored two goals in the first 10 minutes. Then, when the match was about to end, Penaldo got angry and asked his wife for penalties. His wife declined, and he tortured and beat her up and took 10 penalties (missed 7 of them) but won 3-2. Shame on you, Penaldo! 馃槨馃槨馃槨
Why do black people only have nightmares?
Because the last one that had a dream got shot.
When the depressed kid runs out of eyeliner, so he says "fruit ninja" with his wrists.
A teacher asked his students a math question.
"You have one dollar. Your parents give you five dollars. How much money do you have?"
After some thinking, about half the class raised their hands. The teacher called on a little girl in the front.
"One dollar!" she said.
Doctor: I diagnose you with obesity.
Patient: It runs in the family.
Doctor: Nothing can run in your family.
Guess why orphans can't be gay? Cause they have no one to call Daddy.
When the teacher calls on you and asks you how many people did Hitler kill?
"One, he killed himself."
Me: Hey, are your parents home?
Orphan: (crying) Stop calling here!
When is a car not a car? When it turns into a driveway. 馃
So, Johnny was working at a deli. A woman walks up and asks, "Do you have any salad?" Johnny says, "No." She asks, "What about carrots?" Again, Johnny says, "No." She says, "What about bananas?" Johnny says, "Tell ya what, spell out 'lad' in salad." She spells, "L A D." Johnny replies, "Spell 'rot' in carrot." She spells, "R O T." Johnny says, "Now spell 'fuck' in vegetables or fruits." She says, "There is no 'fuck' in vegetables or fruits." Johnny exclaims, "That's what I've been trying to tell you!"
Where does a girl with one leg work?
IHOP.
What do you call a blind German?
A notsee.
Say what you will of pedophiles, but you can't ignore their problem with immature ejaculation.
What did the blind kid get for his birthday?
I don't know, he still didn't look.
What's the best part about having sex with 28 year olds? There are 20 of them.
Roses are red, pussies are wet, when it goes in he gets upset. She said it's too small, so that's all. But later that day, he wanted to say, "Every time I play, no one complains, so she was just lying." She started flying, went out of her seat, the skirt went up, the greatest of them all. Everyone said, "Fly away big chunky balls."
Why did Hitler turn to genocide after a failed career as an artist?
He never learned to mix the colors.
I got a job as a pencil sharpener. I would tell you about it, but you wouldn't get the point.