Worst Jokes Ever
Why do priests appreciate educated children?
They don't spit.
The teacher asked her class to use "definitely" in a sentence. Little Johnny raised his hand to answer, yet the teacher passed him and went on to Kevin. "The sky is definitely blue." "Very good Kevin, but the sky can also be blue or black," the teacher replied.
Little Johnny raised his hand again as high as he could, yet the teacher passed right over him and picked Annie from the back of the room. "The grass is definitely green." "Very good Annie, but it can also be brown." Little Johnny was waving his hand like crazy seeking her attention. Finally, she called on him. "Mine's more of a question, but do farts have lumps in them?" "Why no, Johnny, why would you ask such a question?" She questioned. "Well, if they don't have lumps in them, then I definitely just shit myself."
Leave a like down below if you think Stephen Hawking should stand for the National Anthem.
There is nothing funnier than my life. (Evan 2020)
Why are the Chinese bad at baseball? Because they already ate the bat!
I'm going to hang myself in the bathroom at school and put a note telling kids that I'm a piñata.
What's the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag?
The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman?
A Kinder Surprise egg.
I remember the first time I went to one of Luis Fonsi's concerts...
I wanted to commit DEATHpacito so badly.
When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say, “This boy always had a fat ass.”
I ate a time machine once, it was very time-consuming. Especially when I went back four seconds.
I am disabled and I find these jokes appropriately hilarious.
I slept like a log last night... woke up in the fireplace.
Yo mama's so old, when she was a girl, rainbows were black and white.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
A man walks into a bar and notices a steak hanging from the ceiling. When he asks the bartender about it, the bartender says, "If you can jump up and hit it, drinks are on the house for the night, but if you miss, everyone's drinks are on your tab for the next two hours. Do you want to try?" The man decided not to take the risk. He thought the steaks were too high.
Why don't black lives matter anymore?
Because a harvester is more efficient at picking crops than slaves.
How can you tell if your wife is dead? -- The sex is the same, but the dishes start piling up.
What do you call a Muslim who owns 6 goats? -- A pimp.
Jack and Jill went up the hill each with $20. Jill came down with $40. Fucking whore!!!!