Worst Jokes Ever
Why did Michael Jackson get away with it? Because he's a smooth criminal.
A woman comes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, I think I have cancer." The doctor checks it out. "It’s all in your head," the doctor says. "Phew," said the woman. "A bunch of tumors, all in your head."
So, I went out to eat the other day, and the waitress came up to me and asked if I wanted a glass of water. I said, "Yes ma'am." She said, "Oh honey, you don't have to call me ma'am, I'm not that old." I said, "Okay, thanks bitch."
Why don’t orphans work as computer repair technicians? Because they can’t find the motherboard.
Where does a girl with one leg work?
IHOP.
Yeah, Asians have squinty eyes, but that's because they have had the displeasure of seeing so many ugly obese Americans in one place.
My life.
Tell me when you get it.
Why did the coffee file a police report?
Because it got mugged.
I've just been fired from the clock-making factory after all those extra hours I put in.
Did you know the people in the twin towers were great readers?
Yeah, they went through 80 stories in seconds.
A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, "Do you have any last requests?"
"Yes," replies the murderer, "Can you please hold my hand?"
Trying to make a baby talk is like trying to negotiate with North Korea.
Do you want to know the most racist game? Chess. You wanna know why? Because they never let black go first. I wonder why... lmao.
Why is Helen Keller's child blind too? She always fed it with a fork!
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period?
She can taste the blood off her son’s cock!
What do you call a cross between a gorilla and a monkey? -- A cross.
People told Kobe to fly high. Look what happened.
I used to have confidence issues because of my learning disability.
Until someone told me I put the sexy in dyslexia.
A wild Iceberg appears. Go Titanic! Titanic uses Headbutt. The attack misses. Titanic faints.
You: "Captain, where is this plane going?"
Captain: "New York, 175 Greenwich Street."