Worst Jokes Ever
Russian, American, and Polish stood by the lake shore.
Russian ran ahead to dive and yelled "vodka" and the lake changed into vodka.
Polish ran ahead to dive and yelled "beer" and the lake changed into beer.
American ran to dive, slipped, and said, "oh shit."
What do you call 4 Mexicans stuck in quick sand?
Quatro Sinco.
Kid: But, Mom, I don't want to see Grandma.
Mom: Shut up and keep digging.
You're so poor, when you kicked a can, a man asked, "Are you moving?"
What do you call a white girl that can run faster than her brothers?
The redneck virgin.
Nutted in her braces, now my kids are behind bars.
I have sex daily, I mean dyslexia, fuck!
I ate a time machine once, it was very time-consuming. Especially when I went back four seconds.
Why do the Japanese hate Christmas?
Because the last time a Fat Man came down the chimney, they lost half their population.
I cry a lot for someone who isn’t even properly hydrated.
I told myself the other night after a long night at the bar that I should stop drinking.
But why should I listen to a drunk who talks to himself?
You know how 6 is afraid of 7 because 7 8 9? Well, 10 is afraid because he was in the middle of 9/11.
If there is a hair, the meat is ruined.
Americans when they think they have the best offensive British jokes: "we threw your tea in the ocean." 💀
British people making offensive jokes about America: "our towers didn’t explode."😎
Q: Why did the young boy ask his parents to take him to the Cowboys’ AT&T Stadium during the tornado warning?
A: He said, “There’s never a touchdown there.”
How to complement a depressed person: "I like your cuts, g."
Dear Autocorrect, I never wanted to spell the word "bigger".
What’s a kidnapper's favorite shoe brand?
White vans.
Where does the keyboard go to dinner? The space bar.
My dog kept chasing people on a bike. Eventually, it got so bad I had to take his bike away.