Worst Jokes Ever
What's an upside of being an orphan?
You'll never get grounded again.
A kid annoyed me the other day. I told him to shut up and go back to his parents. That's the last time I'm going to an orphanage.
What's got 6 legs, 3 arms, and 3 heads?
The finish line at the Boston marathon.
Gas is expensive nowadays.
In the 1940s, they got it for free.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?
One is made of plastic and bad for kids; the other one holds shopping.
Ever heard of the show "Naked and Afraid"? That's what I call hide-and-seek with my uncle.
Kid: Mom, what's dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Kid: But, mom, I'm blind!
Mom: Exactly.
Virginia is false advertising. Couldn't find many virgins there.
My family is like an apple tree. My sister is that ugly one that has to rot in.
I was tickling my step brother's balls, and then it hit me: why is he laughing?
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
A wild Iceberg appears! Titanic uses ram! It is not very effective. (Titanic sinks.)
How do you confuse a blonde? Put it in a circle and tell it to sit in the corner.
What's the difference between flat earthers and my grandfather? Flat earthers are more disconnected from reality than my grandfather is disconnected from his life support.
I had a goldfish that could break dance on the carpet... but only for, like, twenty seconds and only once.
Sans: Wow, seems you’re really working yourself... down to the bone!
Why can't a t-rex clap?
Because it's dead.
A nucleus walked into a bar. He asked the bartender, “How much for a drink?” The bartender replied, “For you, NO CHARGE!”
Which animal has the largest chest? A Z-bra.
My neck, my back, my crippling anxiety attacks.