Worst Jokes Ever
Why was Michael Jackson so loved? He touched so many children in so many special ways.
Two cows are out grazing in the field. One cow says to the other cow, "Aren't you worried about this mad cow disease that's been going around?" The other cow replied, "Why would I be worried about mad cow disease? I'm a rabbit!"
What's the difference between your birth and 9/11?
One was planned.
Why did orphans want to commit a crime?
Because they wanted to see what it feels like to be wanted.
9/11 victims are the best readers.
They went through hundreds of stories in a few seconds.
Did you know Cobain had dandruff? Yep. They found his head and shoulders all over the back of his couch.
The S in America stands for safe.
Why are the twin towers mad?
They ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plain.
I never knew how to use a boomerang, until it hit me.
How do you make any salad into a caesar salad?
Stab it twenty-three times.
Murder is the same as suicide, except the other person is doing it for you.
Why were the people in the Twin Towers sad?
They ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.
My girlfriend's dog died, so I got her a new one in replacement, and she went off on me and yelled,
"What am I supposed to do with 2 dead dogs in my house?!"
A couple is on their first date.
Man: How do you feel about sex?
Woman: I like it infrequently.
Man: I see. Is that one word or two?
Is Stephen Hawking under warranty? If so, can I bring him back to Currys PC World?
What do you call pasta thatβs made by a skeleton? A CREEPYpasta! (Itβs my first one, lol)
I heard that cataracts are the third leading cause of blindness...
... the first two being politics and religion.
What did the mother cow say to the baby cow?
"It's pasture bed time."
Why is sex like math?
You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray thereβs no multiplying.
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack can eat her candy. He got sick when he got a mouthful of dick and realized her name was Randy.