Worst Jokes Ever

What's a skeleton's favorite plant? A bone-zai tree. But if they don't like that one, how about a s-pine tree?

Two pedophiles talking to each other:

"Do you got two fives for one ten?"

What's the similarity between a Christmas ornament and a person?

They both hang...

Kelly Clarkson wants to be Rosie O'Donnell so badly. Too bad Kelly is the "Queen of Incest" and not the "Queen of Nice".

(And Kelly came from a sundown town in the Deep South, and not from Long Island.)

How do you get an emo out of a tree?

Cut the rope.

How do you get Wacko Jacko to screw a lightbulb?

Tell Jacko that the bulb is a 6-year-old boy.

Me: "Comment if you love yourself and give me a reason."

Friends: comments give reason.

Me: "Notice how I commented nothing."

Day later:

Mom: Let me see your TikTok.

Me: Shows her the video.

Mom: calls suicide.

JK, she just beat me for posting a video on her.

Yo mama so stupid, she tried to climb Mt. Dew.

I like Cheetos.

So, I heard Bounty, the maker of paper towels, has decided to get into the Male Enhancement business...

...their new slogan?

The Quicker Pecker Upper.

What do skeletons say before they begin dining?

Bone-appetit!

What is the Twin Towers' least favorite song? "I'm Still Standing."

When the teacher calls on you and asks you how many people did Hitler kill?

"One, he killed himself."

A man walks into a bar with an alligator and a stick. He walks up to the bartender and offers to put on a show for the bar's patrons in exchange for a drink. The bartender agrees, so he pulls down his pants, sticks his dick in the alligator's mouth, and starts whacking it with the stick. After he's done and gets his drink, he asks if anyone else would like a go.

A lady gets up and says yes, she would like a go, asks that he doesn't hit her with the stick.

My friend was a victim of a school shooting once, but he couldn't tell if they were in the library because of the suppressor on his AR.

Chuck Norris can make 5 minute frosting in 4 minutes.

Some trans "woman" came up to me and told me to act my age so I told him to act his gender

Curry.

I saw a little kid crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. God, I love working at an orphanage.

Yesterday I wanted to look up the term "procrastination".

I swear, I'll do it tomorrow.