Worst Jokes Ever
What's got 6 legs, 3 arms, and 3 heads?
The finish line at the Boston marathon.
Why did the vegetable cross the road? He didn't, he just sat there.
Why can't orphans have babies?
Because they have no one to call daddy.
Why did the orphan rob the bank?
He wanted to be wanted.
What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One’s a Goodyear. The other’s a great year.
Your hairline's so far back that five hour energy became a five day depression.
The teacher asks her class, "What is sex?" and Little Jonny stands up and says, "Sex is the temptation caused by the sensation when a boy sticks his location into a girl's destination. Did you get my explanation or do you need a demonstration?" and the teacher fainted.
A son tells his father, "I have an imaginary girlfriend."
The father sighs and says, "You know, you could do better."
"Thanks Dad," the son says.
The father shakes his head and goes, "I was talking to your girlfriend."
when you don't have a phone to play Fruit Ninja and improvise.
"I met a girl and she's 28."
"Now I'm the coolest guy in all of 8th grade."
- AJR
Why can't college students take exams at the zoo?
Too many cheetahs!
So, a guy walks into a bar, and he tells the bartender, "After this last drink, I'm going to the roof to kill myself." A guy sitting next to him says, "I wouldn't do that if I were you." in which the man replies, "Oh yeah?" So, they both take their shots and go up to the roof. The guy says, "You're not gonna die, watch this!" He jumps off the roof and comes back up. The man rubs his eyes and tells him to go it again. He comes down and comes back up. The man says, "Cool, let me try!" and he jumps down only to kill himself. The guy goes back to the bar, and the bartender says, "Superman, you're an asshole."
What does a robot do at the end of a one night stand? -- He nuts and bolts.
What is the difference between me and a knife?
The knife has a point.
Is it just me, or do you kids have imaginations?
I have a fish that can breakdance!
Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.
What sucks about disabled people?
They can't stand up for themselves.
What's bigger than the Milky Way?
Michael Jackson's nose.
My mom asked me if I was okay, so I replied, "I will be," and jumped out the window!
What made you suddenly lose interest in someone you were pursuing?
When I found out they liked me back. Not interested in someone with poor judgment.