Worst Jokes Ever
Titanic: "And I'm nominating everyone on board for the Ice Bucket challenge!"
Your hairline is like the universe. It's still waiting to be discovered.
So I was at home, and I went to take a shower, and I accidentally walked in on my brother having sex with some girl. So I left. A couple minutes later, I needed my headphones to listen to music, so I asked my mom where she was. She told me she was in the shower. Our house only has one bathroom. Sweet home Alabama.
These two cannibals are sitting by the campfire having dinner. One says, "I can't stand my mother-in-law." The other says, "So, just eat the potatoes."
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
Because they bought a pepperoni pizza, but they got plane.
When Stephen Hawking was feeling hungry, he used to call in to his local PC World for a megabyte and some microchips.
What did the skeleton say to the other? "Wow, that song, 'Spooky Scary Skeletons,' really does send chills down my spine!"
Stop making 9/11 jokes, my father died in a plane crash.
Best pilot in Saudi Arabia.
Why is it a bad idea to eat a clock? Because it's so time-consuming.
I have a pen, I have an Apple, um, Apple pen.
The Taliban had a plane, the US had a building boom, 9/11.
What is burned dark and glued to the wall?
A bad electrician.
What's the difference between a school bus and my Dad's van?
School buses usually don't have screaming and crying children.
In America, planes hit the Twin Towers. In Soviet Russia, Twin Towers hit planes.
I asked my date to meet me at the gym today. She didn't show up. That's when I knew we weren't gonna work out.
Osama Bin Laden, Josef Stalin, and Hitler are robbing a bank, who do the cops shoot first?
A black guy.
What’s the most expensive haircut?
Chemotherapy.
A man walks to the window and opens it and pulls out his phone and takes a photo. "One more picture and I'll jump." He takes another photo and shuts the window. "I can't jump, you're not supposed to throw trash out the window."
Error code 404. "Will to live" not found.
Smileandtalk.exe has stopped working.
My mom wanted me to build her a shed for her useless things, then she told me to go live in it.
Next time at Walmart, I'm going to scan my wrist. They are basically barcodes.