Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Death

24 views ·

Never attempt to foreshadow your own death, you may end up regretting it. You can chop me up and throw me in the fridge if I’m wrong.

Roast

95 views ·

1. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.

2. Oh, you’re talking to me? I thought you only talked behind my back.

3. My name must taste good because it’s always in your mouth.

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  • Orphan

    31 views ·

    How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

    Tell them to clap until their parents come home.

    Toenail

    27 views ·

    Broke my toenail yesterday. I'm now presenting you puns/jokes:

    1. "Yeah, I broke my toenail, wanna see phoTOES?" 2. "I'm tired of bandaging my toe! Oh. My. GAUZE."

    Man

    9 views ·

    What do you call a physically handicapped heterosexual man that is in a wheelchair and German?

    A physically handicapped promiscuous heterosexual man that is German.

    Irony

    169 views ·

    In a cruel twist of irony, Stephen Hawking's favorite song was "I've Got the Power."

  • 0
  • Brother

    11 views ·

    Kid: Mom! You lied to me!

    Mom: When?

    Kid: You told me that my little brother was an Angel!

    Mom: Sooo?

    Kid: Then why didn’t he fly when I threw him off the balcony?

    Mom: WHAT!!!??!!

    Depression

    22 views ·

    Someone: When you suffer from depression and someone tells you to cheer up.

    Me: My, what a great idea! Why didn't I think of that? ;)

    Wish

    58 views ·

    "This isn't the first time my husband's cheated on me, but you're my sister! You'd better have a better explanation than this magic lamp."

    "You know how you have to be specific making wishes? Well, I was really horny and asked the genie to have the world's biggest penis....ended up with a concert pianist that's seven foot tall. Nice guy. Next time I tried, I asked for the world's biggest cock, that was fun but the poor rooster died. So I asked for the world's biggest dick and that's how I ended up on top of your husband."

    Orphan

    4 views ·

    What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?

    The apple gets picked.