Worst Jokes Ever
"Better lock 'em doors and turn the lights down low... Better turn 'em on, just stubbed my f***ing toe!"
My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.
Why did the orphan become a criminal? It wants to be wanted.
Dark humor is like a cancer, it's funnier when a kid gets it.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
The chicken next to him farted.
How does Stephen Hawking take a shit? He logs out.
Russia and Ukraine are running a marathon. Who do you think won? Russia did. Russia gave Ukraine a migraine.
I saw this kid on the street wearing a rag. I said, "Are you an orphan?" He said, "What gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."
What is the difference between a kid's dad and his cancer?
The cancer came back.
You wanna hear a suicide joke? Nvm, it didn't make it.
What’s an orphan's favorite Marvel film?
Spider-Man: Far From Home.
Why doesn't the Sun go to college? Because it has a million degrees.
Your forehead is so big, your entire face is on your chin.
What do girls and noodles have in common?
They both wiggle when you eat them.
What does an orphan call a kidnapping?
A surprise adoption.
Little Johnny's dad was driving him to school when they came up on a couple in a convertible. It was apparent that they were arguing. You could then see the woman pull out a knife. Seconds later, his dad saw a penis land in the windshield. Worried little Johnny will see it, he quickly turned on the wipers and brushed it off.
"What was that, Dad?" asked lil Johnny. "Oh, just a bug," said his father. With a confused look on lil Johnny's face, he then says, "That bug sure had a big dick, didn't he?"
I like my couches like my women... Old, used, and big enough to fit 3 men.
At a date:
He: "I work with animals every day."
Me: "Oh, how sweet! What do you do?"
He: "I'm a butcher."
If a deaf kid swears in sign language, does his mom wash his hands with soap?
Why did the family get mad at the boy for eating at the funeral? While trying to season his food, he mistook his cremated grandfather for salt.