Worst Jokes Ever
Why make a joke when I wake up and look at myself?
If you think about it, taking candy from a baby is good because candy is bad for babies.
Why does Michael Jackson like Doge Miner? He thinks it's about minors dressed in doge costumes.
What's the difference between a shooter and a bullied autistic kid? It depends on who's shooting.
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
Must be more than 9 because my basement is still dark.
What were Steven Hawking's last words?
Error 404 File Not Found.
My kids are so ungrateful. I got them a new dishwasher and they just won't stop complaining about their mom.
I took my mother-in-law out yesterday morning.
Damn, I love being a sniper.
How many men does it take to open a bottle of beer?
A: None, it should be opened by the time she brings it.
I wanted to see if she was anorexic, so I threw a Funyun at her to see if she'd use it as a hula hoop or inhale it.
Did you ever receive an anonymous blowjob from another male under the handicapped stall inside the public men's restroom at a rest area and did you have an orgasm and was it the best orgasm that you ever had?
Hot women with big boobs work at Hooters, but where does a handicap woman work?
IHOP.
Scientists have proven that there are two things in the air that have been known to cause women to get pregnant: their legs.
What's the last thing emos feel before they die? Rope burn.
What did one piece of toilet paper say to the other? "I feel really wiped."
For all the talk of Donald Trump loving America, most of his lovers are imported from Eastern Europe.
Why do black people only have nightmares?
Because we shot the last one that had a dream.
I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you're "being a respectful friend." Do it at home and you're "destroying evidence." Anybody relate?
Why do gay men like the filling in Hostess Twinkies?
It reminds them of cum. 😋 😍 😏 😜
The other day at school we had to write down our hero and what we would do if they walked into our house. I got off easy because my hero is Stephen Hawking.