Worst Jokes Ever
A girl and her brother are walking in their garden. POV: Brother. Sister: "Why are you cutting those flowers?"
Brother: "Because they're beautiful!"
Sister: "I thought you said you cut yourself because you aren't."
Brother:......
Say what you want about pedophiles, but at least they drive slow through school zones.
Knock knock. Who's there? Cows go. Cows go who? No silly, cows go moo!
I just got kicked out of the fucking library for putting the women's rights in the fiction section.
Riddle me this, Batman, what's long, round, and has cum in the middle?
Batman: A dick.
Riddler: NO NO NOOO! It's a cucumber!
What is the difference between a baby and a canoe?
I would never put a canoe in my garage.
A high school student and his best friend were rushing to class after his best friend caused them both to be late. His best friend asked, "Would you like to hear a joke?" "Sure," he replied. "What do you and your sister have in common?" "I don't know." "Because of me you're both late for your next period."
What do you call a fish with no eye?
A ffsshh.
What happens if an Asian with an erection walks into a wall?
He breaks his nose.
A cop stopped a guy for speeding. He said, "Do you know how fast you were going?" "I was trying to keep up with traffic," the guy replied. The cop said, "But there is no traffic." And the guy answered, "That's how far behind I am."
Baptism, a chance for the priest to bathe you.
Mickey Mouse is speaking with a divorce attorney...
...and the attorney says, "I'm sorry Mickey, I've gone over all of Minnie's medical history and I find no evidence of mental illness."
To which Mickey replies, "I didn't say she's crazy! I said she's fucking Goofy!"
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas?
Gloves........ just kidding, he hasn’t opened it yet.
Waitress: You wanna box for your leftovers?
Me: No, but I'll arm wrestle you for the check.
Quiet kid: "I'm home!"
Parents: "What did you learn at school today?"
Quiet kid: "I've learned that I've had enough!"
Never break a girl's/boy's/someone's heart. They only have one of them.
Break their bones instead. They have 206 of them.
My dad is like my virginity. I lost him at 12.
Dark humor is like food, some just don't get it.
Shit! My neighborhood barber just got arrested for selling drugs! I've been his customer for 4 years, but I had no idea he was a barber.
Where did Lucy go during the bombing? Everywhere.