Worst Jokes Ever
Are you a Samsung Galaxy Note 7? Because I want to explode in you!
This is the real reason why the chicken crossed the road.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To visit his grandmother at KFC.
Why can't Michael Jackson go within 500m of a school zone?
Because he's dead.
How do you cut ancient Rome in half?
With a pair of Caesars.
What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum?
A meltdown.
Why are Americans bad chess players?
They lost 2 towers.
I asked my friend if he would take a bullet for the last person he slept with.
He said hell yeah, I'd do anything for my sister!
A brunette, a red-head, and a blonde are being chased by bandits. They are chased to the edge of a cliff and a genie appears.
"I will help you escape," says the genie, "say what you wish to turn into, and you will become that thing."
The brunette jumps off the cliff and says "Hawk." She turns into a hawk and flies away. The red-head says "Falcon." She turns into a falcon and flies away. Now the blonde is alone and the bandits are getting closer. She makes her decision and backs up, then runs toward the cliff. And...she trips and says "Crap."
The End
Man to woman: "Would you sleep with me for one million dollars?"
Woman: "Sure."
Man: "How about for ten dollars?"
Woman: "What do you think I am?"
Man: "We’ve already established what you are. All we’re doing is negotiating price."
You know what I saw today?
Everything I looked at.
A: Why are you so sad?
B: I was watching porn, and all of a sudden my wife opened the door.
A: Ok, I see, but is that really such a big deal?
B: I mean, she opened the door in the movie.
If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb up to the top of your ego and jump to your IQ.
Say what you want about Hitler, he wasn't all that bad. After all, he killed Hitler.
Does anyone still look at this? If you do, tell me if I should make more jokes :)
My granddad killed Hitler.
Y'know that foundation called "Autism Speaks"? No, it screeches.
What's the difference between sand and a dildo? Sand has never gone up my ass.
Radiohead had to remake "Fake Plastic Trees" after encountering Carrie Underwood in real life for the first time.
Your mom is like a penny: two-faced, flat, and always in someone's pants.
My mom tells me and my sister to stop fighting. "Mom! You and Dad need to stop!"