Worst Jokes Ever
I named my dog "5 miles" so I could say I ran five miles today. I ran over 5 miles.
Woman: What’s a good comeback for my sexist husband when he tells me to go make him a sandwich?
Husband: I know! How about you COMEBACK with a goddamn sandwich?
What did the fish get on his math test?
A sea plus.
Q: What comes before 47?
A: AK
What gang was Stephen Hawking in? The Crips.
Why are orphans so good at tennis?
Because that’s the only love they get.
My teacher said he is gonna call my dad, I can't wait to meet him! 🥰🥰🥰
What do you call terrorists in a wheelchair?
An RCXD.
What does the "f" stand for in orphan?
Family.
In some places in the world, you can't get an abortion even after rape. That's so fucked up.
You serve your time, you get out, and you STILL have to pay child support. What a nightmare.
Who did Michael Jackson want to be like? The man in the mirror.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common: they should both be changed regularly... and for the same reason.
Trump and Biden didn’t get the memo.
Two girls have a sleepover.
Karen: Let's go to bed.
Lauren: Fine, but it's early.
*Karen wakes up and exits room*
*Lauren hears noise*
Mikey: You're so much better than my girlfriend, Karen.
Lauren: *laughs*
Lauren: *remembers her boyfriend is Karen's brother, Mikey*
It must not be a good suicide story if you can tell it.
What's the difference between a rubber and Michael Jackson? Nothing, kids touch them both.
Why were the twin towers actually twins?
Their birth and death date are the same!
Roses are red, violets are blue. I'm stroking my dick and thinking of you.
I wanna die.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples are actually picked.
What is one thing blind people and orphans have in common?
They both can't see their parents.