Worst Jokes Ever
I pushed a disabled kid in a fire, then called him "hot wheels."
What did the fish get on his math test?
A sea plus.
Why did the deer cross the road? Its friend deered it to!
Roses are red, peanuts are tan. I am joining the Ku Klux Klan.
Your teeth are so spread out my mom can drive her car through the gap in your teeth.
What's the difference between a paycheck and your penis?
You don't have to beg your wife to blow up the paycheck.
Person 1: You are the dumbest person in the class.
Person 2: Well, you're the second. Maybe, but at least I'm not the dumbest.
Person 2: I know how to fix that!
... Next day person commits suicide...
I own a gun with Nazi rounds and shot a guy who broke into my house. He said, “Did you just shoot me with a Nazi round?” and I replied, “Do you mean Nein millimeter?”
Yo mama so fat that Will Smith could slap her from a mile away.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot wheels.
Why are there so many scars and cuts on your arm?
Because it's a battlefield.
Why couldn’t most people remember 9/11?
Because it flew over their heads.
What do you call a fish with no eye?
A ffsshh.
Every zodiac sign has a hairstyle except for Cancer.
I saw my wife at the dam yesterday, which sucks because I wanted her to flow further down.
People claim that Trump has Russian ties.
FAKE NEWS!
All of Trump's ties are made in China.
What did the Chinese couple name their retarded baby?
Sum Ting Wong.
Hookers are like drive-thrus; you tell them what you want, pay for your stuff, and leave.
Last Halloween, I went dressed as a woman. When I rang the doorbell, an elderly woman opened it, and I made a grunting noise and knocked the bowl of candy out of her hands.
She immediately called the police and told them exactly what happened. The officer pulled me aside and asked me a few questions. First, he asked if my parents were here, and I said nothing. Concerned by my answer, he then asked if I was okay, so I said nothing. He asked me what my name was, and I responded, "Hellen Keller."
What do you call a school shooting survivor who grows up to be a prostitute on the West Coast?
A Sandy Hooker