Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a Roman with hair in his teeth? A "glad-he-ate-her".
April Fools' joke: Go to an orphanage and say your parents came back.
What's the best thing about abortion jokes? They never get old.
An Asian went to bed at 9:00, woke up at 6. People say he's still sleeping.
What record did Obama prove during his presidency?
No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he'll still be in government housing.
I can go to Walmart and scan my wrists. It'll say "antidepressants." ✨
Me and my stepmom went into the forest.
I think I hid the body pretty well, but now I have to hide the gun.
What is the Titanic's favorite mint?
Icebreakers.
Yo mama so fat that when I banged her in the jacuzzi, there was a level 8 tsunami.
When I was watching my daughter at the park earlier, another parent asked a man, "Which one is yours?" and he replied, "I'm still choosing." She looked horrified.
A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.
Me: I kiss my mom on the lips.
Friend: Uh, I guess that's somewhat nor-
Me: Lower lips.
Friend: I gotta go.
If a heterosexual man wanted his dick sucked, what would a feminist say to him that a gay man would never say to him?
"Not now, I have a headache."
"Lemme clap your girl's booty cheeks, daddy papi."
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
One if you throw it hard enough.
When they say you live by the sword, you die by the sword, not in Paul Walker's case. He lived by the car, died by a tree. Well, I guess the car was stumped.
What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
You take your boots off before jumping on a trampoline.
If Asians are bad at driving, then was Pearl Harbor an accident?
When the quiet kid has an argument with the school shooter, and you didn't get to pull out the AK.
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.