Worst Jokes Ever

Sir, I mustache you a question...

Ah, never mind, I'll just shave it for later.

What’s an orphan's favorite Marvel film?

Spider-Man: Far From Home.

Dark humor is like water. Some people get it, some people don't.

What show does an orphan hate? Family Feud.

A grandfather is on his rocking chair. His grandson comes to him and asks him to croak, to which the grandfather responds with a "no". His granddaughter then comes along and asks him to croak, to which the grandfather responds, "Why do you keep asking me to croak?" The granddaughter replies, "Because Dad says if you do, we get to go to Disneyland."

I'll never forget my grandfather's last words: "STOP SHAKING THE LADDER, YOU LITTLE CUNT!"

How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just Juan.

I called the suicide hotline in Saudi Arabia. They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

The population in Ireland's capital started rapidly growing. In fact, it's Dublin!

I got in trouble in school for leaving the depressed kid hanging.

What were the terrorists on 9/11 thinking?

"We can't go over it." "Can't go under it." "We have to go through it!"

Why does Spider-Man only have 11 months?

He lost May.

There are a lot of things that explode... like cars, boats, the Twin Towers.

when Ted Bundy found out he was getting the death penalty, he was pretty shocked...

It's the season of giving, so I'll be giving up!

I met this girl at a bar and started doing her from behind. Everything was great until she turned and said, "My turn!"

I will always remember my grandpa's last words: "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"

People claim that Trump has Russian ties. That’s not true, just some crazy conspiracy theorists. All of Trump's ties are made in China.

Sketchy dude: If you push this button you get 100 million dollars but 100 million people would die.

Me: If I push it more than once do I get more money?

Sketchy dude: Yes, but more people die.

Me: *rapidly pushes button* This is how you solve world hunger.

Sketchy dude: ... wtf, you're insane.

Me: ...

I wish I didn't have depression because all my friends have "BBC Bitch be crazy" disease.