Worst Jokes Ever
There's a kid named Little Johnny who would always cuss. Well, one day, he was sitting in class and the teacher said, "Let's play a game." So the game was she calls out a letter and someone raises her hand and tells her a word that begins with that letter. The teacher says "A". Little Johnny raises his hand and the teacher thinks to herself, "Well, he might say something like a**." So the teacher calls on Sally. Sally says "apple". The teacher says "B". Little Johnny raises his hand. The teacher thought, "No, he might say something like b!tch." So the teacher goes all the way to R. The teacher says "R". Little Johnny raises his hand and says, "Me, me, please, I really know one." Then the teacher thinks to herself, "Well, there's no cuss word that starts with R," so she said, "Okay, Johnny, give me a word that starts with R." Little Johnny says, "A rat!" and the teacher, very pleased, says, "Very good, Johnny. What type of rat?" Little Johnny says, "A big gosh damn mother freaker."
Sorry, I had to edit some word, but y'all know what I meant.
Why did the scarecrow get promoted?
He was out-standing.
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? -- Because he can't do stand up.
I did so much research that I got bone-tired from doing this, tibia honest. You probably didn't find that humerus. I got a skeleton of these puns. I guess I could learn a femur puns. I was wondering if the creators of this site could talus how they come up with puns or maybe give some advice? I'm only 14 years old.
Why was the orphan's first phone an iPhone X? Because it didn't have a home button.
What unit of measurement is used on farms? Barn yards.
What do you call a blind German shepherd?
A Nazi.
What is the most dangerous mountain? Kilimanjaro.
What do you call a deaf animal?
Anything, it can't hear you.
What's the difference between a black and a white fairy tale? White begins, "Once upon a time..." Black begins, "Y'all mutherfuckers ain't gonna believe dis shit."
What is italian sausage?
The dick of a gay italian.
If Stephen Hawking is dying, where do I take him, Currys PC World, or a hospital?
Titanic: "And I'm nominating everyone on board for the Ice Bucket challenge!"
One depressed kid goes to high-five a tree, but the tree just left him hanging.
I love murder shows... wish me luck cause I'm kinda hoping to be on one one day.
What do painters and prostitutes have in common?
They're both paid for a good finish.
I was watching my son play at the park, and a lady asked me, "Which one is yours?" And for fun, I said, "I don't know, I'm still choosing."
What's a rapist's fav position?
Missionary in a dark corner.
How many people do you need to change a lightbulb?
Three. The first holds the ladder, the second one holds the lightbulb, and the third one spins the ladder.
I lost at Kahoot, so I had to ka-shoot.