Worst Jokes Ever
What is the difference between a feminist and a gorilla? One of them is fat and hairy, while the other one has a functional brain (the gorilla, of course).
What are the big mouths of feminists good for? Portable urinal for men.
Welcome back to the hide and seek world championship! Osama Bin Laden vs. Anne Frank!
If you’re waiting for the waiter at a restaurant, aren’t you the waiter?
I'm starting to wish my grass was emo.
Why?
So it would cut itself.
The other day my friend messaged me saying, "bro I have two pieces of bad news for you." I told him to combine them. He replied with, "your girlfriend is cheating on both of us."
Two pedophiles talking to each other:
"Do you got two fives for one ten?"
At a date:
He: "I work with animals every day."
Me: "Oh, how sweet! What do you do?"
He: "I'm a butcher."
Q. What’s white, sticky, and better to spit than to swallow?
A. Toothpaste.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Spell.
Spell who?
W. H. O.
Somebody asked me, "What's that on your arm?" I just said, "My cats got OCD."
My uncle died on September 11. He was the greatest pilot in all of Saudi Arabia.
Your hairline and my grandpa go way back.
My fifth wife asked me to help her dig in the garden. Here we go again.
Jim and Allyn are 2 mates in the Air Force. They were paired up for a training exercise. They got up into the air and Jim said, "Okay Allyn, your helmet can control the missile when launched from the jet. Go ahead and test fire a missile and aim it at anything you want." Allyn fired the missile and had his eyes set on an abandoned building. Jim then said, "I also forgot, watch out for friendly fire." Allyn said "What?" as he looked over at Jim.
How does a crazy person get to the woods?
He takes the psychopath.
What do you call a retard with a boner? A slowpoke.
Today was the worst day of my life. My ex got hit by a school bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
Yo mama so fat, she was the iceberg that sank the Titanic.
My Asian girlfriend has a weird name. As I gave her anal, she was yelling "I'm too young."