Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Mom

  • What's the difference between your mom and a laundromat washer?

    The washer doesn't take loads for free.

  • 0
  • Misunderstanding

  • When a family friend passed away, my granddaughter took her three-year-old son to visit the widow. As they approached the front door, she whispered to the boy, “Make sure to tell her how sorry you are.”

    He whispered back, “Why? I didn’t kill him.”

  • 0
  • Difference

  • What's the difference between a dad and the Twin Towers? The Twin Towers went black and never came back, and the dad was black and just didn't come back.

  • 1
  • Blonde

  • How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    5

    4 to turn the table, and 1 to hold the bulb.

  • 0
  • Mayonnaise

  • Jesus took bread and said, "This is my flesh!" Then he took wine and said, "This is my blood!" Then he took mayonnaise, and Peter said, "Holy shit, now we gotta stop him!"

  • 1
  • Bus Driver

  • So little Johnny was on the bus, and the bus driver already hated him. So he started to talk to himself JUST loud enough for the bus driver to hear.

    "If my dad was a bull, and my mom was a cow, that would make me... a little bull!"

    "If my dad was a rooster, and my mom was a hen, that would make me... a little rooster!"

    And by this point, the bus driver was fed up with him, so he said:

    "Ok little Johnny, I got one for you: If your dad was a drunk, and your mom was a whore, what would that make you?"

    Little Johnny smiled and said: "A bus driver!"

  • 6
  • Bone

  • Tibia honest, it takes a lot of spine to memorize all the bones in the skeletal system. I mean, there's a skele-ton of em! You gotta be boned up for the skeletal system exam, buddy chum pal. Now that was a humerus ribtickling skelepun. Besides, if ya don't know all of the bones in the skeletal system, get boned, fucking numbskull. Did those tickle your funny bone? Now I've been working down to the bone typing these puns, kid. Now if you hate all these, I won't be bothered, I got thick skin! But first, lemme take a skelfie in the skelevator playing my trom-bone. Now, I gotta go to Grillby's. They got a discount on spare-ribs. Bone-voyage, my homeslice breadslice dawg.

  • 6