Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

One day, a snail got robbed by two turtles. Once the cops arrived and asked what had happened, the snail said, "I don't know, it all happened too fast!"

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  • When the school shooter throws a smoke bomb into the classroom, and the autistic kid thinks it's a dance party.

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  • What do friends and trees have in common? They both fall down when you hit them with an axe.

    A man walks to the window and opens it and pulls out his phone and takes a photo. "One more picture and I'll jump." He takes another photo and shuts the window. "I can't jump, you're not supposed to throw trash out the window."

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  • I was sitting next to this really hot Thai girl on the bus, and all I could think to myself was, "Don't get an erection, don't get an erection..." But she did.

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  • A depressed man buys a gun for suicide, but then thinks, "maybe I shouldn't be doing this," and asks a friend for help. He returns with a rope.

    Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jill's candy.

    But Jack got a shock and a mouth full of cock because Jill's real name is Randy.

    Christopher's Mom said, "One man's trash is another man's treasure."

    Turns out Christopher was adopted.

    I was sitting with my little brother when he was about four-ish. He was starting to really like to identify objects for some reason, so he was showing me his toys. He grabbed his toy Mator truck and then pointed to the wheels, saying, “These are wheels.” I said, “Good job, yes they are.” Then he pointed to the bumper and said, “This is a bumper.” Again, I congratulated him. Then, he grabbed the toy’s wire with the hook at the end and said, “And this is a hooker.” I died laughing.

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