Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Euphemism

67 views ·

Little Timmy wanted to take a shower with his dad. His dad said, "Don't look down." Timmy looked down. Timmy said, "What's that?" Timmy's dad said, "That's Mr. Wiggles." Timmy wanted to take a shower with his mom. Timmy's mom said, "Don't look down." Timmy looked down. Timmy said, "What's that?" Timmy's mom said, "That's my garden." Timmy's mom said, "Don't look up." Timmy looked up. Timmy said, "What are those?" Timmy's mom said, "Those are her headlights." Timmy wanted to sleep with his parents. His parents said, "Don't look under the covers." Timmy looked under the covers. Timmy yelled, "MOMMY, MOMMY, MR. WIGGLES IS ATTACKING YOUR GARDEN! TURN ON YOUR HEADLIGHTS!"

Depression

51 views ·

when someone says to cheer up: you, I never thought of that. :)

-> in reality, :( (sob)

depression is no game, and here in this world, we are here for each other, although at times it might not seem like it.

Keep strong, and you'll find the end of the tunnel, but ending the pain and being gone just spreads depression.

Calendar

6 views ·

Guy: "Can I tell you a joke?"

Spiderman: "Yes."

Guy: "You only have 11 months on your calendar."

Spiderman: "Why?"

Guy: *holds up knife* "Because I murdered May."

Octopus

14 views ·

What did the octopus say to the other? "Let’s hold hands by hands by hands by hands by hands by hands by hands by hands."

Bleach

22 views ·

My son asked me how I'm so clean, "inside out." I told him because of bleach. The next day, I found him drinking the bleach.

Rape

83 views ·

How do you get away with rape? Identify as transgender. Women can never be accused of rape, obviously

Hooker

46 views ·

I was sitting with my little brother when he was about four-ish. He was starting to really like to identify objects for some reason, so he was showing me his toys. He grabbed his toy Mator truck and then pointed to the wheels, saying, “These are wheels.” I said, “Good job, yes they are.” Then he pointed to the bumper and said, “This is a bumper.” Again, I congratulated him. Then, he grabbed the toy’s wire with the hook at the end and said, “And this is a hooker.” I died laughing.

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  • Donald Trump

    80 views ·

    Decisions taken by world leaders often have great significance during a crisis.

    The Americans, in particular, are suffering many losses during the current global pandemic. Remember, in the 1980's they had Ronald Reagan, Johnny Cash, and Bob Hope.

    In 2020 they have Donald Trump, no Cash, and no Hope!

    Heart

    26 views ·

    Despite my devilish attitude, I have the heart of a small boy.

    I keep it in a jar on my desk.

    Toe

    16 views ·

    "Better lock 'em doors and turn the lights down low... Better turn 'em on, just stubbed my f***ing toe!"