Worst Jokes Ever

How did Stephen Hawking die?

They unplugged the wifi.

Covid 19 stopped mass shootings faster than the Government.

What is Stephen Hawking's favorite song?

Head, shoulders, screws, and bolts.

Me: spreading positivity.

Everyone else at the HIV testing center.

What do you call a united cow?

United Steaks.

What did the orphan say to the crippled man?

I suffer from crippling depression.

Yo mama is so fat Thanos snapped twice.

Did you hear about the guy who got fired for having sex with his clients?

He was a great veterinarian.

Yo mama so fat, One Punch Man had to punch 3 times.

Your hairline goes so far back it remembers the big band.

I am an actual police officer (Not gonna mention with which department in case they actually check this site) and tbh I find these jokes funny as fuck, carry on boys.

A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house. He got the outside.

When the school shooter is about to leave the room, then the autistic kid says, "Goodbye!"

I can see my future in your forehead.

What's the number one pick up line at a gay bar?

"May I push your stool in?"

A black lady goes inside the drug store and asks the pharmacist, "Do you carry tampons?" Then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "Do you want the mini pads or the maxi pads?"

And then the black lady asks the pharmacist, "What is the difference?"

And then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "What is your flow like?"

And then the black lady tells the pharmacist, "Linoleum."

What did the Chinese girl say when she had a baby?

"Sum ting wong."

What do friends and trees have in common? They both fall down when you hit them with an axe.

What's the difference between Stephen and a car? A car loses oil, Stephen loses the ability to walk.

What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? I can't peanut butter my dick up your ass.