Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Mario

  • Do not be racist; be like Mario. He's an Italian plumber, who was made by the Japanese, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew!

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  • Name

  • Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jill's candy. Jack got a shock and a mouth full of cock because Jill's real name is Randy.

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  • Penis

  • Husband: "I bet you can't say something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time."

    Wife: "You have the biggest penis out of all your friends."

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  • Touchdown

  • Q: Why did the young boy ask his parents to take him to the Cowboys’ AT&T Stadium during the tornado warning?

    A: He said, “There’s never a touchdown there.”

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  • Titanic

  • What do the Titanic and the Montréal Canadiens have in common? They both sank to the bottom of the Atlantic.

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  • Nun

  • Three nuns are on their way up to heaven after having been involved in a terrible minibus crash on the Italian Alps that killed them and the driver (he went the other direction!).

    As they're approaching the Pearly Gates to be interviewed by St. Peter, they are requested by an attendant to form a single line and wait. Sister Agnes is first, Sister Bernadette behind her and Sister Carmel on the end.

    Finally, St. Peter approaches the nuns to determine their worthiness for entry to Heaven.

    He says to the first nun: "Sister Agnes, have you ever seen the penis of a man?"

    Sister Agnes bursts into tears and says: "Yes, St. Peter, I have, but please don't let this prevent me from entering the Kingdom of Heaven."

    St. Peter says: "Never fear, my child. Say a thousand Hail Marys and then go over to that font of Holy Water and wash your eyes out, then you shall enter the Kingdom of Heaven."

    Sister Carmel sees what's going on and taps Sister Bernadette on the shoulder, somewhat urgently.

    "Pssst - hey Bernie"!, she says.

    Sister Bernadette asks: "What is it?" A little annoyed.

    Sister Carmel says: "Do you mind if we swap places"?

    Sister Bernadette replies: "What for"?

    Sister Carmel says: "Well, I wouldn't mind gargling before you stick your ass in there!"

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