Worst Jokes Ever
Spell 'Imap' and say 'ness' at the end.
How do you name an Asian child?
Ring the doorbell.
I went to my boss's funeral and knelt down to his coffin and whispered, "Whose late now?"
What's the difference between a prostitute and a daredevil?
One has cunning stunts, whilst the other has a stunning...
brb makin' tic tac toe boards on myself.
I recently learned that it's politically incorrect to talk about taking part in a school shooting.
Apparently the term "school photos" is more acceptable.
What's the difference between a baby and an onion? I cry when I cut up onions.
What kind of bee can't fly?
A KOBE.
Today was the worst day of my life. My ex got hit by a school bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
Iran: We can beat the USA.
Japan is typing...
What’s pink, black and has 17 nipples?
A trash can behind the cancer ward.
Girl playing outside: "Step on a line and you break your mommy's spine." She then steps on a line and her mother keels over screaming.
Girl playing outside: "Step on a crack and you break daddy's back." She steps on a crack the mailman next door then keels over screaming.
The husband starts celebrating, gets in the car, and starts to drive away.
The son comes outside and steps on a crack.
The dad then dies in a car crash.
Why did the gym close down? -- It just didn't work out.
Why did the cat cross the road?
To make a catastrophy on the road.
Why do Indians have a red dot on their head?
Because they're recording.
How do you create the world's quickest human pyramid?
Turn on the gas chamber.
I used to be a banker but I lost interest.
Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She always ran away from the ball.
Why can’t bikes stand? Because they are two tired (Too tired).
What is a prostitute's favorite form of traffic control?
Speed humps.
I was watching my daughter play at the park. A woman came up to me and asked which one was mine. I said I was still choosing.
I've been trying to find jokes about gouging my eyes out, but I couldn't see any.