Worst Jokes Ever
Ever heard of a rape victim with Alzheimers? Yeah, neither have they.
How do you make holy water?
You take normal water and boil the hell out of it.
What do you call pasta that’s made by a skeleton? A CREEPYpasta! (It’s my first one, lol)
What is an orphan's favorite Roblox game?
Adopt Me.
My girlfriend treats me like God. -- She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.
I feel bad for shopping carts. They're always being pushed around.
Did you know the people in the twin towers were great readers?
Yeah, they went through 80 stories in seconds.
How do you circumcise a redneck? Kick his sister in the jaw.
I just went on a date with a woman in a wheelchair.
I stood her up, which made her fall for me. At first it was a drag, but now we’re rolling.
Once an orphan got a girlfriend. He regretted it. She left him too.
Nice! Angry Birds really has improved.
What's your favorite color of the alphabet? True or false?
What is yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of kids.
Little Johnny's dad was driving him to school when they came up on a couple in a convertible. It was apparent that they were arguing. You could then see the woman pull out a knife. Seconds later, his dad saw a penis land in the windshield. Worried little Johnny will see it, he quickly turned on the wipers and brushed it off.
"What was that, Dad?" asked lil Johnny. "Oh, just a bug," said his father. With a confused look on lil Johnny's face, he then says, "That bug sure had a big dick, didn't he?"
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?
One's made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with, the other one carries your shopping.
How do you turn a baby into a dog?
Douse it in gasoline, light a match, *WOOF*!
Why does the queen move more than a king on the chessboard?
Because it looks like a kitchen floor.
An orphan made an Instagram. He did not know what that symbol was on the bottom left hand corner.
Donald Trump wants to ban the sale of pre-shredded cheese.
He wants to make America grate again.
Did you know that McDonald's made a Michael Jackson burger? It’s a 50-year-old piece of meat in a 12-year-old bun.