Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

My wife wanted a present that could go from zero to 80 very quickly.

So I got her a new set of bathroom scales.

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  • To the guy asking what joy I find in suicide jokes, the answer is simple. I make suicide jokes to cope with my crippling depression. Must be working, cause I'm still here.

    Q: Why did the pervert cross the road?

    A: Couldn't get his dick out of the chicken.

    I saw a cute coworker and had sex in the back till I realized it is a family business.

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  • Every male is expected to pass their driver's test. Paul Walker clearly failed his.

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  • Time for a story: There are 500 bricks on a plane, one falls off. How many are left? 499.

    What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator? Open fridge, put in elephant, close fridge.

    What are the 4 steps to putting a giraffe in a fridge? Open fridge, take out elephant, put in giraffe, close fridge.

    The lion king is having a birthday party. All the animals attend except one, who is it? Giraffe, he's stuck in the fridge.

    Sally wants to cross an alligator infested river. There is no bridge and the only way she can get across is by swimming. She swims across safely, how? The alligators where at the birthday party.

    Sally dies anyway. How? She got hit in the head by a flying brick.

    I saw a sign the other day that said "Maximum penalty for smoking is £1,000."

    But that's not right. Surely the maximum penalty for smoking is Death.

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  • What is gay - curious 🤔 😳

    👬 👬 a gay man that is curious about experiencing sex with a 👨 👩 👨 bisexual man.

    👨 👨 👩 🚲 🚲 🚲 does it cycle now?

    🚲 🚲 🚲

    😢 😔 sorry for your luck 🍯 honey it sucks 😪 😞 😒 to be you.

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  • What's the difference between Michael Jackson and acne? Acne doesn't come on a 5-year-old's face.

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  • People say that life is short.

    I say... life is the longest thing we ever do.