Worst Jokes Ever
Sometimes my battery life has the same recognition as me :(
What food does a cheetah eat?
Fast food.
What does a pregnant teen and an aborted child have in common?
They both say, “My mom's gonna kill me!”
The optimist thinks the glass is half full. The pessimist thinks the glass is half empty. The feminist thinks the glass is raping them.
What do you call a retard in a house fire?
Flame Retardant.
What do you call a tall terrorist? Labomb James.
What do you call a camel stranded in the desert of Arabia?
A Shawarmano Cameldo!
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas?
Gloves........ just kidding, he hasn’t opened it yet.
What's red and green and goes 100 miles per hour? A frog in a blender.
"I hate going to weddings, because the old lady next to you always whispers in your ear, 'You're next.' So I started doing the same to them at funerals, 'You're next.'"
Kid: But, Mom, I don't want to see Grandma.
Mom: Shut up and keep digging.
If I were a party, then anxiety must be the cousin depression felt obligated to bring to the party, and insomnia the little annoying sibling.
A Karen is so stupid, she can't even cross the hairline!
Why is reverse cowgirl banned in Alabama? Because you should never turn your back on family.
Why is reverse cowgirl illegal in Alabama? Because you should never turn your back on family.
I really hate waiting to die... It's taking a lifetime.
When you hit a speed bump in a school zone and remember, there are no speed bumps.
I wish my hair was depressed.
Cause then it would cut itself.
What do you get when you cross a road with a stalker?
Raped.
Why doesn't Barbie ever get pregnant? Because Ken comes in a different box!