Worst Jokes Ever
Sup peoples?
A teenage boy decides to go see a hooker for the first time and asks his experienced uncle for some tips.
"Uncle, what should I do about the hooker name? Should I ask her real name or should I come up with a name for her myself?"
"Kid, I've been fucking hookers for 20 years and I didn't even know they had names."
So a woman was paranoid, so she had a dog to check to see if anything was wrong. She would always stick her hand under the bed, and if the dog licked her hand, then she was safe. One night, just before bed, she stuck her hand under the bed. She felt a lick, so she went to bed. In the middle of the night, she needed to go to the bathroom. So, she walked into the bathroom, and on the window, it said: "HUMANS CAN LICK TOO!" Then she was murdered.
What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person? "What's bringing you down?"
A skeleton walks into a bar. Orders a beer and a mop.
I regret my abortion.
I didn’t know child labor was an option.
What did the choir boy sing to the priest? Nothing, his mouth was full.
What's the difference between my car and a school bus? A school bus takes them back home.
I love it when candy canes are in mint condition.
So, a daughter asks her father, "Dad, what is your opinion on abortions?" Her father says, "Why don't you ask your sister?" The daughter responds, "But I don't have a sister... Oh."
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To die.
What do the Twin Towers and gender have in common? There used to be two of them, but now it's a sensitive topic.
Yo mama so stupid she threw a Mother's Day party at an orphanage.
Why can't orphans play at a McDonald's play place? They don't have parent supervision.
Why does an orphanage stay overnight at a school? Cause their parents won't pick them up.
Have you ever tried North Korean food?
Neither have the North Koreans.
Some people say I like heights; others say I'm a daredevil.
In reality, I like killing myself.
How do you help a constipated person?
You scare the shit out of them!
My battery lasted longer than your sad, depressing life.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marrahwanah.
Jack got high, slapped her thigh, and then they had some fun.
Jill forgot to take her pills, and now they have a son.