Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a Trump Supporter?
A piece of $hit!
What did the make-a-wish kid say to the staff? "I don't wanna go to Disneyland, I wanna live longer."
I like turtles.
What does my arm have in common with paper?
They both can be cut.
What is the difference between butter and a blonde? - Butter is difficult to spread.
An old man walks to a busy restaurant. He tells the waiter what he wants and asks her, "Can I have a discount? I served in the war."
The waitress says, "Of course, and would you like that meal with sauce?"
"Nein," said the old man.
I'm shocked that Kanye West never tried to get Carrie Underwood's number after Carrie starred in a pro-Aryan ad for Almay.
Scientists say I'm made up of 75% of water.
But after jumping in the ocean, it's 100%, just like my depression.
"Why is it that orphans only play tennis?""That's the only love they can get..."
Mother, father, and a son. Father purchased a robot that can detect lies. The robot slaps when you lie.
During dinner time: Father: Son, what have you done today? Son: I watched Netflix, Dad. Robot: Stood up and slapped the son! Son: Okay! Okay! I watched porn, Dad. Dad: What? You watched porn? You are only 14! I never knew porn till I was 18 years of age. Robot: Stood up and slapped the Dad! Mother: started to laugh and said, "Sure he is your son!" Robot: Stood up and slapped the mother!
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
Don't be stupid, feminists can't change anything.
Why does the nurse need a red pen?
In case she has to draw blood.
What is a reversed exorcism?
It's when it's the demon who's telling the priest to get out of the child's body.
Why do they call my dick section 8?
Because all the hoes are on it.
Men vacuum in the same way that they have sex.
They just put it in and make some noise for 3 minutes before they collapse on the couch and think that their wife should be really happy.
Your forehead is so big, it's a $20 taxi ride from your hairline to your eyebrows.
I saw a dwarf scaling down a prison wall. I thought to myself, "That's a little condescending."
Why do Jews have big noses?
Because air is free...
I downloaded Fruit Ninja so I can cut fruit instead of myself.
I ran over some crippled kids. I told [them] to walk it off!