Worst Jokes Ever
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
Depresso espresso.
What's blue and doesn't weigh much?
Light blue.
I wanted to see if she was anorexic, so I threw a Funyun at her to see if she'd use it as a hula hoop or inhale it.
Why can't orphans play online games? Because they don't have parents to sign them up.
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas?
Gloves........ just kidding, he hasn’t opened it yet.
Why can't orphans go on school field trips?
Parent Signature: _______
What’s red and very rare?
A baby in a blender.
What joke do you tell an orphan?
Knock knock...
Who's there?
Not your parents.
I got arrested on suspicion of attempted rape all because I was carrying some cable ties, a bit of tape and a piece of cloth. It's such a joke, I hadn't even bought the chloroform yet.
What is Hitler's favorite book? "Hitler and the chamber of secrets."
Knock knock?
Who's there?
Willis.
Willis who?
Willis dick fit in yo mouth?!
A lion, Johnny Depp, and a hockey player from Nashville all have one thing in common.
They're all Predators!
Doctor: What makes you feel depressed?
Me: Seeing others happy.
Doctor: Ok, so what makes you happy?
Me: Seeing stupid people in misery or agony.
Doctor: Well, that's rather sadistic.
Me: Well, statistically one in two doctors have fingered a child...
Doctor: Do you want your prescription or shall I book you an endoscopy?
Me: There's nothing hidden inside me, I'm empty "smug face".
Why did the Chinese woman hang up? Because she Wang the Wong number.
What's the difference between my dad and a hooker?
Hookers come back.
What do you call terrible milk?
Udder Bullshit.
How do you circumcise a redneck? Kick his sister in the jaw.
What is an orphan's favorite quote in Star Wars?
"I am your father."
What do you do if you see someone raping your girlfriend? Help out. There is no way she can fight both of you. Then, find the poor man a lawyer.
I was beefing with a dude in a wheelchair, so I took his wheelchair and threw it across the street and told him, "Walk it off, you will be fine."