Worst Jokes Ever

How many kids does it take to change a light bulb? Well, it's not 53, 'cause my basement's still dark.

If you're depressed and you're crying, like this joke.

There are people who are beautiful, and then there are people whom I won't rape.

Astronomers got tired of watching the moon rotate around the earth for 24 hours, so they just called it a "day".

What do Rihanna and a DJ have in common?

They know how to get a beat down.

Girls are like math; if they're under ten, then you use your fingers.

How do you name an Asian child?

Ring the doorbell.

Why does the blonde stand in a corner when she's cold?

Because it's 90 degrees.

Getting hurt is a bone-breaking experience. It's such a spine-tingling event!

Article 1: the Titanic is practically unsinkable.

Article 4: the Titanic sank.

What's the difference between Donald Trump and a dirty diaper?

Answer: none, they're both self-absorbed and full of sh*t!

Two atoms are walking down the street, and they run into each other. One says to the other, "Are you all right?" "No, I lost an electron!" "Are you sure?" "Yeah, I’m positive!"

When I grow up, I wanna be like Lil Peep... Dead.

You're so short, when you were born, the doctor couldn't tell if you were a boy, a girl, or a Jimmy Dean pork sausage.

There was a kid named Buttitches, and his teacher was taking attendance. Then the teacher asked, "What is your name?" And he answered, "Buttitches." Then the teacher asked again, "What's your name?" and he replied, "Buttitches." Then a student yelled out, "JUST SCRATCH YOUR ASS ALREADY!"

Girlfriend: "One day I will marry and a lot of men will be sad that day."

Boyfriend: "Wow, how many men do you plan to marry?"

God said, "Let there be light." Chuck Norris said, "You have to say please first."

Why did Adolf Hitler like nuts? He only had one.

What do you call a race car driver with Down syndrome? Down shift.

If I'm racist to everybody, am I even racist?