Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Vampire

  • Three vampires walk into a bar. The first one orders a Bloody Mary. The second orders a Bloody Mary. The bartender turns to the third and asks, “A Bloody Mary?”

    The vampire shakes his head. “Hot water for me.”

    “Hot water?”

    “I found a tampon out back and want to make tea.”

  • 1
  • Friend

  • When me and my friend went to the market, my friend tried to scan my arm, and I asked her what she was doing. She answered, "Oh, I had to buy you so I don't steal you."

  • 1
  • Emo

  • What's the most common thing between Hitler and an emo?

    Hitler knows when to kill himself!

  • 2
  • Bellybutton

  • Little Johnny went on a camping trip. All the tents were taken, so he shared with the teacher. So Little Johnny says: "Can I play with your bellybutton? My mom always lets me when we camp." So the teacher says: "Sure." 5 minutes later the teacher says: "Woah, woah, woah that's not my bellybutton!" Little Johnny says: "Woah, woah, woah, that's not my finger."

    Neighbor

  • Father and mother are making love in the bedroom. Mother is on top of father. Suddenly, the son enters the bedroom. Everyone is embarrassed, of course.

    The next morning, the mother takes the little boy aside and says, "I'll tell you about what you saw yesterday. You know, Dad has a big belly, and that's why Mom sometimes sits on top of that belly to push it flat." The little boy says, "But Mama, that does not make any difference." "Oh no?" the mom asks. "No," says the little boy, "When you go to work, the neighbor comes, and she puts herself on her knees for Dad, and she blows his belly up again!"

  • 2
  • Hooker

  • What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?

    A hooker can wash her crack, then sell it again.

  • 1
  • School

  • Dad: What did you learn in school today?

    Timmy: Not enough, I guess, 'cause I gotta go back tomorrow.

  • 0