Worst Jokes Ever
Are you electricity? 'Cause I wanna get a bath with you ;)
I fell from the stairs the other day. It really "got me down."
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None, that's a hardware problem.
The lines on the pride flag look pretty straight to me!
What’s the difference between a bitch and a whore?
A whore sleeps with everyone at the party. A bitch sleeps with everyone at the party—except you.
What do you do when a woman is choking?
Back up a couple inches.
Today a child asked if I was an angel. I asked why, and he said, "Mommy says that angels have marks on their wrists because they don't want to be in this world."
Three blonde sisters die and are told by an angel that in order for them to go to heaven they have to pass all 100 steps. But each step has a joke, each joke gets funnier and funnier. And in order to pass them all, you can't laugh at any joke or else you go to hell. The blonde girls accept the offer.
So the angel begins telling them the jokes. One of the girls laughs at the 3rd step. The second blonde laughs halfway there. Finally, the last blonde was at the 100th step. The angel said, "This is the last step. If you laugh you will go straight to hell with your sisters and if you don't you can pass." The blonde agrees and the angel starts to tell the joke, "What do you ca..." Out of nowhere the blonde starts bursting out laughing. "Why are you laughing? I haven't even finished the joke yet!" The blonde replies, "I just got the first joke!"
What's the difference between life and death? Life hurts.
What did the HP say to a Dell?
Hello!
What were Steven Hawking's last words?
Error 404 File Not Found.
The colors red, white, and blue are the colors of freedom. Until they are flashing behind you.
I know five fat people, and you're three of them.
Remember kids, when you're angry, burn down an orphanage. Then they'll really be living the hard knock life.
What do you call a group of Emo kids?
Suicide Squad.
What jumps and never let's go?
An Emo kid.
I bet all Emos want to be like their biggest influencers some day.
Dead.
Why do Emos want to be the "Scene" these days?
The only thing I've "Scene" from them is their suicide rate climbing, it's starting to climb quicker than they did to get to the top of whatever they jumped off.
what do you call a drunken sailer?
arrested.
Why were the Twin Towers upset? They ordered Domino's but got jets.
What did one cell say to his sister when she stepped on his toe? Mitosis!
Robin's gay.
Why are Americans so bad at Clash of Clans? Because they already lost two towers.