Worst Jokes Ever
What do the Twin Towers and gender have in common? There used to be two of them, but now it's a sensitive topic.
My friend group is pretty diverse. I'm Japanese, one friend is Filipino, one is American, one is Italian, and the last one is German.
Out of everyone in the friend group, the Filipino and the American were the quickest to feel uncomfortable when I asked, "Who wants to go on a march with me?"
Why is Johnson's baby shampoo the best lubricant for anal sex?
- No more tears.
I asked my rigger buddy if he could tie me up later, he said, "I'm a frayed knot."
What do an ice cream cone and a Ukrainian orphanage have in common?
Children scream when they melt.
Why are obese jokes so offensive?
Because fat people have enough on their plate.
Yo' mama is so fat, her cereal bowl comes with a lifeguard.
My dad is like my depression, you need a suicide letter to find him.
My grandad said I'm too reliant on technology, so I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to do it in the water. Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.
Asked my dad what LGBT stands for.
He started with "Lettuce? Bacon. Tomato. What's the 'g' for?" Obviously, I had to reply with "Garnish."
Last week I told my psychiatrist, "I keep thinking about suicide," and he told me from now on I have to pay in advance.
What is the difference between a washing machine and a hooker?
I can put a load in the washing machine without it following me.
Crush: "How much do you love me?"
Me: "Well, look at the stars outside."
Crush: "But it's morning."
Me: "Exactly."
Why can't all guys be more like Kenny? He doesn't get all upset when his mom isn't in the mood.
Why do gay kids always fail exams ? Becuz they can't think straight
Me: Wanna hear a joke about my chin?
Friend: Nah, dude. It'll be too long.
Bf: What do you think about our love?
Gf: Count the stars in the sky.
Bf: Aww, it's infinity.
Gf: Nope, just a waste of time.
The time when Michael Jackson came in his pajamas during the trial. Whether or not it was because he saw a 7-year-old boy has yet to be determined.
A woman can fake an orgasm for the sake of a relationship.
A man can fake a relationship for the sake of an orgasm.