Worst Jokes Ever
I named my dog "5 miles" so I could say I ran five miles today. I ran over 5 miles.
What is the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl?
You need to drop the bomb twice on her before she gets it.
what do you call an emo person who's not depressed?
dead.
They say I'll mess up my insides, but I don't have any.
"Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled. "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella.
Hi, I was a feminist until I realised that:
A. Feminism is just a pile of dumb shit.
B. That men are actually treated unequally.
SO
we should all say sorry to the boys for pissing them off.
My dad has the heart of a soldier, and a restraining order from the soldier's family.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
Whatever happened to the emo? (wrong answer only)
Dear disabled people, Just go into the settings and enable it.
Did you hear about the fortune telling dwarf that escaped from prison?
Reports say there's a small medium at large!
What’s the German word for BRA? Keep two from floppin'.
Everyone's always saying they're so worried about America's big button, the one that controls all the nuclear power. I'm not worried about that... I'm worried about the idiot on the end of it.
Why wasn't Michael Jackson admitted to college? He refused to declare a major; he only wanted to do minors.
If dust mites are found in dust, bedbugs are found in beds, where are cockroaches found in?
Why did the United Nations stop the french government from using the guillotine in public?
because the french government was using the guillotine in public on newborn baby boys for circumcision.
Confucius says, "Man who walks through airport door sideways with erection, is going to Bangkok."
What store does an orphan hate?
Family Tree.
My principal called my mom at school and said, "You should teach your son well." After coming back home, at first she taught me sex!
One day I was jogging through the park and I saw this lady sitting next to a pond in a wheelchair with no legs and arms and said "Why are you crying" she said she had never been hugged I gave her a hug and jogged away.The next day i saw her again and asked her the same question she said "I've never been kissed" I gave her a kiss and went, The third day i asked her thrice and she said I've never been fucked I picked her up from her wheelchair and throwed her in the pond and said your fucked now She didn't make it:)