Worst Jokes Ever
What's the second to last letter in the alphabet? Y. Cause I wanted to know.
Person 1: Goodness, when is Michael Jackson going to stop eating these white chocolate truffles? He is already making a goddamn mess on his bed eating a few of them.
Person 2: Well, he cannot resist the little white balls.
My friend was feeling low today, so I went up to her and said, "You know, I would hang in there if I was you, swaying through life." I don't think she likes me now.
What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?
I don't know, he hasn't opened it yet.
What do you take care of after a car crash?
The witnesses.
Why can't Asians play baseball?
Because they ate all the bats!
I have 206 bones in my body, but when I look at you, I have 207.
Someone said to stop hurting myself, but I'm still trying to cut my arms off.
My grandpa said, "You kids rely on too much electronics." I said, well we will see about that. *unplugging life support* me: *oops*
My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer. I'm not too worried, I think she's joking.
Yo mama's so ugly that even Hello Kitty had to say goodbye.
Me telling my parents I'm depressed: my parents, "No, you're just a little stressed and want attention, am I right?" My depression worsening, me: "Yeah, you're totally right mom..." Me in my head making a plan to commit suicide.....
How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just sit in the dark and bitch.
All rape can be prevented. It's just a matter of semantics.
What is the difference between a whore and an onion?
You don't cry when you chop a whore.
What do you call a banana eating a banana?
Canabananalism.
Why don't women parachute naked?
That annoying whistling sound on the way down.
What did the wind say to the palm tree? "Hold onto your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job."
Why was Tickle Me Elmo upset when he left the factory?
Because they only gave him one test tickle.
I was walking down the street and I punched a white guy, then I was arrested for assault. The next day after I got out, I punched a black guy and I was arrested for impersonating a police officer.