Worst Jokes Ever

I had a horse named Mayo, and sometimes Mayonnaise.

Did you know Cobain had dandruff? Yep. They found his head and shoulders all over the back of his couch.

Which is Ronaldo's favorite son, Matteo or Cristiano Junior?

Neither. His favorite is San Marino, perfect for stat-padding with tap-ins and penalties!

I asked a kid at my work where his parents were. He started crying. Man, I don't know what I did. I'll ask another kid at the orphanage.

Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and leg?

He's all right.

I don't think I'm allergic to this.

Suicide is just freedom, life is just full of pain... Sometimes if you're gone maybe somebody might notice. Feels like life is a maze and the only way to leave is the exit. Nobody notices your pain, your suffering, and that you try your best though everyone notices your mistakes. Life just feels like everyone hates you. Life for me is just faking smiles, I'm not sure how everyone lives such a good life.

My dad died the other day, but I was able to hear his last words: "Son, are you still holding the ladder?"

I got in a car crash with a dwarf one day. He came storming out, and glared at me. I lowered my window and called out, "So, I'm guessing you're not happy?"

Why is there air conditioning in hospitals? To keep the vegetables cool and fresh.

What did the mute man tell the blind man?

Nothing.

A man got in a bad car accident. He was at risk of losing his arm. The doctors had to perform complicated surgery on his arm. The man's wife visited after the surgery. The doctor came up to her and said:

"I have good news and bad news."

The wife said: "What's the good news?"

"We managed to save his arm."

"What's the bad news?"

"We couldn't save the rest of him."

What’s the difference between an orphan and cotton? One gets picked.

If I die, delete my search history.

Have you ever tried North Korean food?

Neither have the North Koreans.

What's worse than a dead baby?

A pile of dead babies. What's worse than that? The one on the bottom is alive. And what's worst than that is, the baby has to eat its way out.

An orphan's first word would be "orphan keeper."

Got a PS5 for my little brother yesterday, best trade I'd ever done.

I asked my mom where babies come from. She said I came from the adoption center.

Little Johnny was playing with dick when his teacher walked in the room. She asked him what he was doing, he said Im doing my homework. The teacher saw how big his cock was and asked him to have sex with her. He willingly did so. Little johnny was already 25 so it didn't matter. The only thing was that he was homeschooled.