Worst Jokes Ever
What does Michael Jackson and an ant have in common? They are both innocent.
What do friends and trees have in common? They both fall down when you hit them with an axe.
Why did Mary fall off the swings?
She got hit by a refrigerator.
Do you know Mike Hawk? No, who is he? Mike Hawk in your MOUTH!
A doctor is telling three women what they are addicted to.
He says to the first one, "You are addicted to money, you named your daughter Penny."
He says to the second one, "You are addicted to food, you named your daughter Candy."
Then the third one whispers to her son, "Come on, Dick, let's go."
Nike isn't helpful for suicidal people. You can't tell them to "Just Do It."
Why does a heterosexual man swallow the sperm of another man after he has given him a brojob?
Because of the cream filling inside, just like the individually wrapped cakes of Hostess Twinkies.
My friend just got a new house. He told me to make myself at home, so I threw him out. I hate visitors.
You know how 7 ate 9? Why was 10 scared? It's because he was in the middle of 9/11. 🤣
How does a blind person know when a skydive has finished?
The dog lead went slack.
Uranus, ur-anus, your anus. Anus is what's in between your two buttocks.
A vampire walks into a bar and orders a cup of hot water. The bartender asks, "I thought you guys only drink blood?"
The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "I'm making tea."
How do you trick a Catholic priest into using the glory hole at an adult bookstore? Tell him it is a confessional booth.
My son asked me how I'm so clean, "inside out." I told him because of bleach. The next day, I found him drinking the bleach.
Hi, I'm new.
Your mamma's so ugly, even the toaster wouldn't get in the bathtub with her.
What pizza did the Twin Towers order?
A plain one.
Apple made a new product for Chinese people called the iOpener.
What do you call Adolf Hitler in a pool? Adolfin.
Why did the astronaut return to Earth?
She went on her launch break! 🚀🥪😋