Worst Jokes Ever
My Grandmother died last month. The thing that bugs me to this day, I couldn't understand her last words... through the pillow.
When I was a child, my parents told me my uncle was 'sleeping with the fishes.' At first, I thought he bought a water bed, but I then discovered he was killed and buried at sea.
My sister gives her hamster to my brother since she thinks I'm irresponsible, so I throw it out the window.
A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks, "Where'd you get that lovely thing?"
"Africa," the parrot replied.
Why go across the street when you can just go down the hall, lol?
Roses are red. Violets are blue. We're gonna make love because I'm stronger than you.
Imagine Michael Jackson having kids? Would they come out Black or white or plastic?
Where's a cannibal's favorite place to eat?
Chili's, because they got them baby back ribs.
The other day I started watching Game of Thrones.
I told my friend about it. Told him all about the violence, murder, decapitation, gore, sex, gay sex, midget sex, prostitution, rape, paedophilia, incest, and inbreeding... And he was like: "Oh, so you're still on the first episode then?"
Neo-Confederates all claim to be about "heritage" not "hate". Well, if your heritage consists of Kelly Clarkson, riding on siblings, and treating Donald Trump as if he's the second coming, then it really sucks to be you.
What is the best part about Alabama prostitutes?
Family comes first.
I told the emo girl to stop playing fruit ninja on her wrists.
Q: What do you call a shed full of black fellas?
A: Retired Farming Machinery.
What's the difference between drugs and kids?
I don't sell drugs.
Orphans go to church to call someone father.
What do you call a bunch of depressed kids with AK47s?
Suicide squad. 😂😂😂
Girls are just like rocks; the flat ones get skipped.
Why do mermaids wear seashells?
They are too big for “B” shells, and too small for “D” shells.
Why are Indians so good at football?
Each time they get a corner, they open a shop.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Because dad never came back with the milk.