Worst Jokes Ever
What happened when the emo went through the self-checkout?
Two beeps went off.
What show does an orphan hate?
Family Guy.
Today, I learned that a group of piranhas can maul a small child down to the bone in under 20 seconds. Well, I lost my job at the aquarium today.
What are three things you can't give a black guy?
A fat lip, a black eye, and a job.
Why was Stephen Hawking's wife mad at him?
She caught him having an affair with his shoulder.
How to escape your black school teacher in detention?
(Easy)
Turn off the lights!
Why did the emo cross the road?
To not get to the other side.
Roses are red, violets are black, your mum's so fat she sold her son for 10 Big Macs.
When you're a terrorist and you have a stutter.
A a a a a a a a ala ala ala ala ala alaog alaogbar.
What is it called when an orphan takes a selfie?
A family photo.
Did you ever receive an anonymous blowjob from another male under the handicapped stall inside the public men's restroom at a rest area and did you have an orgasm and was it the best orgasm that you ever had?
Happiness is like food, not everyone gets it.
Why can't two Asians have a white kid?
Because two wongs don't make a white.
If you die a virgin, then where does your v-card go? Does it go with you to the grave, or does your mortician take it from you?
What's worse than 3 babies in one trashcan?
One baby in three trashcans.
A wild Iceberg appears! Titanic uses ram! It is not very effective. (Titanic sinks.)
What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?
- Carlos.
Little Johnny was playing outside and steps on a honeybee. His dad sees this and says, "I saw what you did and for that, you get no honey for two weeks." Johnny replies, "I don't care, I don't like honey anyway." About fifteen minutes later, Little Johnny is playing with the butterflies and rips the wings off of one. His dad bursts out and says, "I saw that, and for it you get no butter for a month." Little Johnny replies, "I don't care, I don't like butter anyway." Both Little Johnny and his dad go in for dinner. Johnny's mother sees a cockroach on the ground and steps on it. Little Johnny looks and smiles and says, "Do you want to tell her or should I?"
Hey, can't wait to meet you! So join the crippling depression family!!
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
Don't be stupid, feminists can't change anything.