Worst Jokes Ever
I never get school shooting jokes.
Maybe they're aimed at a younger audience.
Two baby seals walk into a club.
How did the gay girl die? Homicide.
What's black and white and black and white and black and white and red and black and white and white and black and red and red and black and red and white and black and red and red and red and red?
A penguin in a blender.
What do you call a retreat in war?
A backup plan.
Should I buy COVID-19 or wait until COVID-20 comes out?
My grandfather says I'm too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
I know why Asian's eyes are always closed. It's because Americans are so fat and ugly.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with 3 legs?
Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with 2 legs?
Your mom.
What has more brains than Kurt Cobain?
The wall behind him.
Can’t believe how ungrateful my dwarf next-door neighbor is. I saw him waiting at the bus stop earlier today and offered to give him a lift, but he told me to “fuck off.” In the end, I decided to just close my rucksack and walk away.
Why did Steven Hawking's snot not go to heaven?
Because there is no ramp to heaven.
what does BLM stand for?
Biden loves minors.
How do you make holy water?
You take normal water and boil the hell out of it.
What do you call a stalker stalking himself? A narcissist.
An artist is commissioned to create a painting celebrating Soviet-Polish friendship, to be called "Lenin in Poland." When the painting is unveiled at the Kremlin, there is a gasp from the invited guests.
The painting depicts Lenin's wife naked in bed with Leon Trotsky.
"But this is a travesty! Where is Lenin?" asks one of the guests.
"Lenin is in Poland," replies the painter.
What do you call a depressed tree?
A wood cutter.
Your mom said, "Can you get to the dick game?"
Life is like a dick, it just gets hard for no reason.
Bippity boppity, get the f*ck off my property.