Worst Jokes Ever

I want to die like my grandpa, with a blindfold and a wet sponge on his head.

Why do orphans love chips?

Because every bag of chips is family size.

Why were the Twin Towers mad? They ordered pizza, but all they got was plane.

Are you a knife? Because damn, I want you inside of me ;)

When his dick is really, really small, but you pretend it is so big it hurts so you don’t make him feel bad 'cause he is a nice guy.

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

I am still trying to figure out why paying the COVID doctors a compliment is so offensive. They even kicked me out, and all I said was to stay positive...

Roses are red, violets are blue, you have a big forehead, and your hairline recedes too.

A dyslexic man walked into a bra.

If laughter is the best medicine, shouldn't we go up to disabled people and laugh at them?

A man and woman were having sex. After they were done, the man asks the woman, "Are you a nurse?" The woman answers, "Yes. How did you know?" The man replies, "Because you took care of me so well." Then the woman asks the man, "Are you an anesthesiologist?" He says proudly, "Yes. How do you know?" The woman answers, "Because I didn't feel a thing."

Why go across the street when you can just go down the hall, lol?

My best friend looked at my arms and said, "Stop, sh*t, it's bad," then turns right around and says, "You look like a tiger."

So from here on out I am now Finn, the self-harming tiger.

Yo momma is so fat, when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number."

Want to hear a joke about milk? No, it's too cheesy.

Humanity.

What did the rope say to my depressed ass?

~ Hey, you wanna hang?

I like my wine how I like my women: 7 years old, and locked up in my basement.

Are you a pirate? Because I have a lot of seamen waiting for you 😉

Losing weight is a piece of cake. Just don't pick it up.