Worst Jokes Ever
I told someone some jokes, y'know? "Fruit Ninja," "barcode legs," "French puppet thigh wrings." And she was like saying that's not cool and stuff. So she reported me, and it was like:
The counselor: "So I've heard you've been making sh jokes?" Me: "You say it like it's a bad thing." Her: "It is." Me: "Chill bro, it ain't that deep. Don't worry I'll end it :)"
Q: How do you know when an Asian broke into your house?
A: You can't find your dog.
I wanna be a Christmas decoration cause they always do be hanging.
What school subject does an orphan love?
PE because they actually get picked.
In Soviet Russia, gay sex gets you arrested.
In America, getting arrested gets you gay sex.
A man crashed his new expensive car into a tree. He now knew how the Mercedes bends.
Why can't Michael Jackson go within 500m of a school zone?
Because he's dead.
Why did the orphan get an iPhone X for his birthday?
Because it has no home button.
Why does JD Vance not need a conviction?
His running mate has 34 of them!
Two cows standing in a paddock, one says, "Moo." The other turns to him and says, "I was just going to say that!"
A cow went into a pride of lions' territory.
Since that moment, he knew his life was on the stake.
You travel to the past into the era where Julius Caesar is still alive. He thinks you may be from the future to bring him good news. He asks you, "How do I die?"
You reply with: "Surrounded by friends."
Q: What did the iceberg say to the Titanic?
A: I'd hit that.
What is the best cure for aging?
Suicide.
A retard won a break-dancing competition. All he did was go to get a drink.
Q: What did the cannibal shout when his friend fell on the floor?
A: "FIVE SECOND RULE!"
Roses are red, pussies are wet, when it goes in he gets upset. She said it's too small, so that's all. But later that day, he wanted to say, "Every time I play, no one complains, so she was just lying." She started flying, went out of her seat, the skirt went up, the greatest of them all. Everyone said, "Fly away big chunky balls."
THIS IS A RHYME
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said you know you wanna.
Jill said yes as he grabbed her dress,
and they had a little fun.
Jill forgot her pills so now they have a son.
A girl and her brother are walking in their garden. POV: Brother. Sister: "Why are you cutting those flowers?"
Brother: "Because they're beautiful!"
Sister: "I thought you said you cut yourself because you aren't."
Brother:......
My ex got into a bad accident recently. I told the doctors the wrong blood type. Now she will really know what rejection feels like.