
Worst Jokes Ever
Son: Dad? Why is mommy no longer with us?
Dad: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Son: Why?
Dad: To get to the other side, but your mother only made it about halfway.
Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run too if your name was dgergbbfdnbj.
A bartender says, “We don’t serve time travelers in here!”
A time traveler walks into a bar.
What is an orphan's favorite movie?
Home Alone.
The teacher is asking you a question.
Teacher: "If your biggest dream came true, what would you be?"
Me: "Dead."
Man walks into a bar and sees a bear serving drinks... Sits down looking astonished. The bear says, "what's the matter you never saw a bear serving drinks?" The man says, "it's not that, I just never thought the moose would sell the place."
Enough with the Nazi jokes.
They make me führeious!
If you are ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
Don't be stupid, feminists can't change anything.
What is the difference between an illegal immigrant and E.T.?
E.T. eventually went home!
I screamed "Jenga" today in class while watching a 9/11 documentary.
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
Virgin mobile.
One day, I was sitting on my couch watching YouTube when I heard a knock on the door. I opened the door, and to my surprise, it was my dad. I haven't seen him in 16 years, so I let him in. I noticed he had a gallon of milk in his hand, and he went to the kitchen and put the milk in the fridge.
Then he walked towards me and said, "Oh no! I forgot the cereal!" Then he walked out the door and drove away. I never saw him again.
In 2011, Stephen Hawking said there is no God. In 2018, God said there is no Steve Hawking.
God creating bees.
God: "Put a needle on their butt."
Angel: "Come on, God, wha-"
God: "Make its puke delicious."
Angel: "WTF"
Did you hear about the fortune telling dwarf that escaped from prison?
Reports say there's a small medium at large!
What's Saudi Arabia's highest rated sitcom? -- How I bought your mother.
Alyas' dad died, that's comedy. Something not funny is like BLM.
What is a government mandate?
When Obama and Biden go out to dinner together.
What do you call a bunny with a bent dick?
Fucks funny.