Worst Jokes Ever

Why did the girl rage badly when she got an D- on her essay?

Because the teacher said she missed all her periods.

Your forehead is so big that teachers use it as a whiteboard.

My pregnant wife said we were gonna name the kid Digiorno. She wouldn't tell me why until she got an abortion and told me, "It's not delivery, it's Digiorno."

I asked an emo, "Do they get jealous when their phone dies?"

Why did Billy fall off his bike?

Because his dad threw a chair at him.

I know what you did with your mom last night, the orphan. Nah, jit trippin', you thought I had one?

Why didn't Sally get home from work?

She got hit by a bus.

Me: why are Americans so good at rubix cubing? Friend: why? Me: they have a history of separating colors.

Are you a pirate? Because I have a lot of seamen waiting for you 😉

What is the difference between a feminist and a vegetarian? A vegetarian doesn't eat meat for moral, religious, or health reasons. However, a feminist doesn't act like a bitch for moral, religious, or health reasons.

How's Donald Trump going to get rid of all the Mexicans? -- Juan by Juan.

Whoever stole my Microsoft Office account, I'll make you pay. You have my word!

So yesterday, I was at an orphanage, harassing children by twerking at them.

They burst into tears.

I was worried that they would call their mom, well... um... I got away.

Brian has a crush on a cute girl, Sally, from school, so he goes and tells his dad about her, and he says, "Sorry, son, you can't like her; she is your sister." So Brian is okay with it, and he starts to like another girl, Madison, and he goes up to his dad and says, "I have a crush on this girl, Madison," and again the dad goes, "Oh, sorry, son, you can't like any girl in school; they are all your sisters." So he goes crying to his mom and says, "Dad said I can't like any girl because they are all my sisters," and the mom goes, "Oh, it's okay; you can like any girl you want because he is not your dad."

Some people say I like heights; others say I'm a daredevil.

In reality, I like killing myself.

i raped a dog. When asked how her experience was, she said ruff

Why do orphans go to church?

So they have someone to call father.

My wife is like a mirror.

I can never look at it.

I started selling landmines disguised as prayer mats.

Prophets are through the roof!

The colors red, white, and blue are the colors of freedom. Until they are flashing behind you.