Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a dead pine tree? A Nevergreen!
My wife told me I was immature. I just told her to get out of my pillow fort.
Why did I walk across the road?
To get hit by a car.
Guy spills milk on me. I say, "It's okay, we all make mistakes sometimes, but apparently your mom made a big one."
🧀: C’mon tomato!
🍅: I’m trying to ketchup.
🧀: You’re a mile away.
🍅: I am a tomato! It’s not that easy for me to ketchup.
What do you call a boy Panera Bread?
Panera Balls.
What does a cow say when he remembers something?
"I have deja moo!"
What's the difference between Tyler and a rooster? A rooster says, "cock-a-doodle-doo," Tyler says, "any cock will do."
I am glass! People see right through me.
What's better than seeing a baby swing around on a clothesline at 60km/h? Stopping it with a cricket bat.
What are the basic ingredients when a cannibal makes a sandwich?
2 slices of Brad.
Ruin a quote by attributing it to the wrong person.
"Don't cry because it is over. Smile because it happened." -Adolf Hitler, 1945.
Why do orphans cause trouble at school?
So the teachers will call their parents.
Why did the rapist go after the mute? It would be a silent attack.
Stephen Hawking didn’t die.
His charger broke.
What do Catholic priests and JCPenny's have in common?
Little boys' pants half off.
I took a pole today. 100% of the people in the tent were unhappy that it collapsed.
I'm reading this book in braille right now, and I know something's gonna happen, I can just feel it.
In Soviet Russia, gay sex gets you arrested.
In America, getting arrested gets you gay sex.
Q: What's a pedophile's favorite thing about Halloween?
A: Free delivery.