Worst Jokes Ever
When I ask my dad if I got adopted, he said, "Not yet, no one wants you."
What was Michael Jackson's favorite word to say to parents and tabloids? "Leave me alone."
Down syndrome kid: Stop being greedy with the Legos! Me: Stop being greedy with the chromosomes!
What do you call a porn star that always goes back for more?
Craven Morehead.
Guys, my sister's pregnant!
I'm finally a dad!
I was digging a hole in the garden until I found some coins! I was about to tell my mum when I remembered I was digging a hole in the garden.
What's the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
One of them you'll see in a while, and the other one you'll see later.
Where does a girl with one leg work?
IHOP.
What does a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus have in common? They're both thinking; "Oh sh*t, my mom's gonna kill me!"
You know if you go to Wal-Mart, and go to the milk section, you might just find your dads.
My friends were worried that I was making suicide jokes so much, so I said, "Don't worry, you won't have to hear them much longer."
What's the difference between an apple and a child?
The apple gets picked.
Why was the orphan so successful? Because once someone told him "go big or go home," and he only had one option.
Where do you find a dog with no arms or legs?
Where you left it.
All my jokes are cries for help.
INCLUDING THIS ONE.
What is the difference between a baby and a canoe?
I would never put a canoe in my garage.
What's the last thing that went through John F Kennedy's head?
A bullet.
If you're ever bored, try scaring the sh*t out of an Asian to see their eyes open for the first time.
Why are women like KFC?
After you've finished with the thigh and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
I was blessed with a 9 inch penis.
The priest is in jail now.