Worst Jokes Ever
Q. How much cum does a gay guy have?
A. A butt load.
"Mixed vegetables is just special ed class, change my mind."
Jack and Jill went up the hill to find their dad again.
Freddie Mercury was on top of the music world. That's only the 2nd thing he was a top in.
Why did the pirate kids ride the short bus to school?
Because they were retarrrrrrrrrded.
I once ate a watch. It was time consuming.
Everyone laughs when a bully teases someone, but no one laughs when that person commits suicide.
I’m old enough to remember innocent times when the worst headline was plane hijackers flying into buildings.
"When is the best time to commit suicide?"
Ate a Glock in the morning.
What does an orphan and a military man not have in common? Neither gets to go back home.
What's the difference between a baby and garlic bread? I feel bad when I drop garlic bread.
Why can't orphans watch "The Simpsons"?
Because they don't know who's Homer.
After a lord comes back from vacation, he meets the gardener at the gates of his park.
Lord: "Has something happened while I was gone?"
Gardener: "Ah, nothing much, I just broke a shovel while I was burying your dog."
Lord: "My dog died?!"
Gardener: "Yes, it choked on the smoke when your mansion burnt down."
Lord: "My mansion?! How?!"
Gardener: "Well, your wife was distraught and dropped a candle on the curtains."
Lord: "Why was she so distraught?"
Gardener: "She received the news of your daughter being kidnapped."
Lord: "My daughter! Don't you have any positive news for me?!"
Gardener: "Oh right! Your cancer test results!"
What kind of shoes do kidnappers wear?
White vans.
I kicked a soccer ball at the kid in the wheelchair. Now we're playing Rocket League.
What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.
Closer kin, deeper in!
What do you call an Asian prostitute?
Suck Mi Dong.
I was going to log a pun about trees, but you wooden understand it.
What do you call a roach in milk?
A roach con leche. 😂