Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? - In case he got a hole in one.
Sometimes, stairs get me down.
What do you call it when you baptize a Mexican? Bean dip!
So, I heard the CEO gave her daughter a really good spot in the company.
Everyone is mad, but I think it just goes to show that it pays to sleep with your boss.
My girlfriend told me the dishwasher was leaking, so I brought home some tampons.
Dark Humor is like a child with cancer. It never gets old.
What did the kid with no arms get for Christmas?
A pair of gloves!
Nah, I’m not that mean, he’s still trying to open his presents.
I make science puns, but only periodically.
If a person shoots a person about to commit suicide, is it making it less painful, or is it murder?
What road goes all the way to the sky? A highway.
What do teen mothers and their unborn babies have in common?
They're both thinking "Oh my God, my mom's gonna kill me!"
Do you know why most men are impressive cooks?
Because with two eggs and a sausage, they can keep women full for 9 months.
Don't pick flat chests because they will turn their backs on you twice.
Doctor: "What's your zodiac sign?"
Patient: "Cancer?"
Doctor: "What a coincidence."
"What happened to your arm?" "Oh, uh... I became a gacha emo."
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his wife changed the WiFi password.
What did Donald Trump serve to Justin Trudeau at a state dinner?
Poutine with Russian dressing!
I called a Suicide Helpline, but they didn't help me commit suicide.
Tbh they really left me hanging there.
An American and an Asian walk into a bar. What are your names? the bartender asks. The American says, "William Matthews." The Asian says, "Same Ting."
If a midget walks up to you and tells you your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment?