Worst Jokes Ever
Blue Takis?
REALLY CRAPPY JOKE ALERT!!! Oh Quin, how was eating that tight butt? Must be nasty. I heard you met from rear ending him.
I was raped by a group of mimes. They did unspeakable things to me.
I was going to make a chemistry joke. But it looks like I won’t get a reaction :)
I am Michael Jackson, and my pronouns are HeHee.
What kind of exercise do lazy people do?
Diddly-squats.
Wanna hear a joke?
Feminism.
Why did the orphan go to church?
Because they need a father.
Dad's secretary left her position, he told me I could take it if I want it. He also told me the job pays well but there is a lot to catch up on. He kept me under the pump all week.
Who is the man behind all lives matter?
Michael Jackson.
When I'm bored, I text a random number, "I hid the body... now what?"
Why was ten scared?
Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she took a bath, the water jumped out.
Do gay midgets come out of the cabinet?
Why did the doorbell have a good sense of humor?
Because it got everybody's pokes!
You are the reason double doors were invented.
Christopher and Tony were tempted for a beer, but they only had 2 dollars each.
Christopher got an idea and ran away to the butcher to see if he could get something good. He came back with a sausage. So they went to a pub and ordered 2 beers and 2 whiskeys.
"Are you crazy?!" said Tony to Christopher. "We don't have any money!"
"Take it easy now," said Christopher. "I have a plan."
When they finished drinking everything up, Christopher put the sausage through his own zipper and begged Tony to bend on his knees and take the sausage with his mouth.
The bartender saw what they did and threw them out without even paying. So Christopher and Tony kept doing the same thing pub after pub after pub.
After the 10th pub, Tony said: "I can't do this anymore. I am drunk, and my knees are in too much pain to even handle the walk."
"How do you think I feel?" said Christopher, exhausted. "I dropped the sausage in the 3rd pub!"
Dude,
if you stab a cereal box, will that make you a cereal killer?
Guys, this is so wrong. I'm an orphan and this extremely offends me. I'm telling my parents, um.......
A guy was on trial for murder, and if convicted, would get the electric chair. His brother found out that a redneck was on the jury and figured he would be the one to bribe. He told the redneck that he would be paid $10,000 if he could convince the rest of the jury to reduce the charge to manslaughter.
The jury was out an entire week and returned with a verdict of manslaughter.
After the trial, the brother went to the redneck's house, told him what a great job he had done, and paid him the $10,000.
The redneck replied that it wasn't easy to convince the rest of the jury to change the charge to manslaughter. They all thought he was not guilty and wanted to let him go.