Worst Jokes Ever
What did the Hiroshima survivor say about the day Little Boy dropped? "It was a blast!"
If Chuck Norris was a Spartan in the movie 300, the movie would be called 1.
A guy is on trial for leading a mob to gang rape a woman he'd taken out for a date. His defense is that he was helping her live out a fantasy.
The DA is furious and asks him WTF gave him that idea. He said, "After the date I took her back to her house, pulled out my dick, and tried to hand it to her. She told me, 'You've gotta be fucking kidding me. Seriously, go get some help!'"
Guess why orphans can't be gay? Cause they have no one to call Daddy.
Why do Priests like playing the violin? They get to finger A minor.
Why are there only 363 days in an orphan's calendar? They don't have Father's or Mother's Day.
Why was JFK stupid? He only had half a brain.
Last night I burned down an orphanage.
There was one survivor who said I would regret it. I said, "What are you gonna do, tell your parents?"
Incest. A game the whole family can play.
Yo mama so ugly, when she went to unlock her phone with her face, it said, "disconnected."
You're so poor you wash paper plates.
How do you get an emo kid to jump?
A bridge.
Max likes his girls like he likes his wine. 7 years old and locked in his basement.
Q: What comes before 47?
A: AK
A man gets an email from his doctor.
"Sorry for the delay on getting your prescription, it'll be at your house tomorrow."
The man thinks to himself, "Oh shit! Then what have I been taking?"
Teacher: What does a pig give you?
Little Johnny: Bacon.
Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?
Little Johnny: Wool.
Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?
Little Johnny: Homework and says "leave motherf*cker".
The woman saw a cute lookin' cop. She had pulled up right next to him and said, "Hey, can I get your number?" He said, "Yeah, it's 911," and drove off.
What do you say to a fat Asian?
You got more chins than a Chinese phone book.
The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza. They got plane.
What's a Parkinson's victim's least favorite song?
Taylor Swift - "Shake it Off".