Worst Jokes Ever
Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone?
He got hit by a train.
Remember, kids: the school shooter can't get you if YOU are the shooter.
I called the suicide hotline, and he suggested I draw on myself to distract myself.
I replied I'd get ink poisoning.
Wouldn't recommend, the police came.
What does a necrophiliac get at a wedding?
Mourning wood.
What's a joke that an orphan has never heard before?
A dad joke.
Once i was walking along the beach and there was a girl with no arms or legs there, i walked by and she said excuse me, will you touch me ive never been touched before, i was like okay so i touched her, i kept on walking along and there was the same girl, she said sir will you kiss me, i went alright so i went up and kissed her, i thought that was weird but anyway i kept walking along and there she was again, she said sir will you fuck me? I went okay so i picked her up and threw her in the ocean and went YOUR FUCKED NOW
Michael Jackson has done something no one has ever done before. I'm not talking about his record sales or tickets sold.
I'm talking about being born a black man and dying a white woman. Incredible!
I popped some fireworks and told my Vietnamese grandfather that World War 3 started.
The little camel asks his mother: "Mum, why do we have these big humps?"
"Because in these humps there is some water, and in the hot desert we can drink."
"And Mum, why do we have this large fur?"
"Because the desert at night is so cold, and then we don’t feel cold."
"And Mum, why do we got these big hoofs?"
"Because the desert sand is hot, and the hoofs save us from the hot sand."
"But Mum, what the fuck are we doing here in the national zoo?"
What does the starship Enterprise & toilet paper have in common?
Answer: They both circle Ur-Anus looking for Kling-Ons!
What makes sad people jump? A bridge.
What happens when you cross a rhetorical question with a joke?
I will remember my biker buddy's last words: "Why did you cut in front of me?"
Two skeleton brothers are talking.
1st bro: "Hey, get up! You and do some exercise! You are so heavy, you weigh a ton!"
2nd bro: "A skele-TON :)"
Grandma: Young people your age are married by now, why aren’t you?
Me: Old people your age are dead right now, why aren’t you?
Why did the Columbine High School basketball team lose the big game?
Because they lost their two best shooters...
What do friends and trees have in common? They both fall down when you hit them with an axe.
What did the kid with no arms get for Christmas?
A pair of gloves!
Nah, I’m not that mean, he’s still trying to open his presents.
Why do I only date orphans?
Because they never have daddy issues.
My mom told me to take out the trash, but I couldn't find you.