Worst Jokes Ever

Two police officers crash their car into a tree. After a moment of silence, one of them says, "Wow, that's got to be the fastest we've ever gotten to an accident site."

Why don't Mexicans cross the border in groups of 3? Cause the sign says "No Trespassing."

Stephen Hawking would be a bad Pokemon.

He'd always be paralyzed, and his only move would be tackle!

My life is a lot like a game of Black Jack.

I always hit on 16, then get busted.

Why was the emo kid sad? Because his bar code expired.

What's harder than steel? Michael Jackson at a playground.

What did the green light say to the red light? - Don't look, I'm changing!

How do you make a pool table laugh? Tickle its balls.

If the minions serve whoever is the biggest bad, then who did they serve 1930-1945?

So, we all know that old kids' joke: why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9. Well, why was 10 scared? Because he was in the middle of 9 11.

A priest and a nun are traveling across the desert on a camel, and when all of a sudden the camel dies. They’re in the middle of the desert with no hope of rescue when that night the priest thinks to himself that he can’t die a virgin. He looks over at the nun and pulls out his penis. The nun says, "Father, what is that?" He says, "This, sister, is the wand of life." The nun says, "Good, now go stick it in that camel's ass and let’s get the hell out of here!"

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

Because he died.

Broke my toenail yesterday. I'm now presenting you puns/jokes:

1. "Yeah, I broke my toenail, wanna see phoTOES?" 2. "I'm tired of bandaging my toe! Oh. My. GAUZE."

Your forehead's so big, when you were being born, the doctors thought you had no face.

Was invited to the inauguration of an I-pad.

We were all ready to begin the event. I was supposed to cut the ribbons, but before I could do that, Penaldo jumped outta nowhere and shouted, "I DON'T WANT I-PAD, I ONLY WANT TO STATPAD!"

Shame on Penaldo for ruining the event! 😡

I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, they got excited and asked if I could drive a plane.

A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant.

After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing diapers!”

She replies: “Oh my god! Am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?”

To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”

The Arabian Sea is in which state?

Liquid.

Yo mama so fat that when she sits down, the earth falls out of the Solar System.

Is it normal my emo cousin's hobby is tying himself to train tracks?