Worst Jokes Ever
What’s the difference between a hoe and a rooster?
A rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo," and a hoe says, "Any cock will do."
An orphan was running down the road. A car pulled up and said, "Get in." So the orphan got in and said, "Where are we going?" The kidnapper said, "I'm taking you to my house." The orphan replied, "OML, ARE YOU ADOPTING ME!?"
Why does the blonde stand in a corner when she's cold?
Because it's 90 degrees.
How did the dude with epilepsy win the break dancing competition?
He saw flashing lights.
They say the first time doesn't work, third time's the charm. Ha, not!
If being ugly was a crime, you would get a life sentence.
Do midgets still start their childhood stories off with, "When I was little"?
I bought my son a fridge for Christmas. I can't wait to see his face light up when he opens it.
I heard that my crush got kicked in the balls and when I thought of it...
1 minute silence for those who still think thoughts can't kill you.
Why are so many Americans stupid? Because they shoot the ones that go to school.
Q: How do you know a wishing well works?
A: If your mother-in-law falls down it.
A limbless man sat on the side of a lake every day. He had no hands or legs.
One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay. He replied, "No."
The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?"
The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever."
So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked.
"No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before."
The woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?"
The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fucked."
The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"
Wanna know what is offensive? I don't know, ask feminist (sans undertale).
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell them to clap until their parents come home.
Why does Santa have such a big sack? He only comes once a year.
A pedophile was holding a bag of chocolates and then approached a little girl at the park.
"Hey little girl! If you give me a teeny-tiny kissy-kiss on the tip of my wee-wee, I'll give you a piece of my chocolate!"
The little girl replies, "If I suck your whole cock, can I have the whole bag?"
Roses are red. Violets are blue. A face like yours belongs in a zoo. Don't worry, I'll be there too. Not in the cage, but laughing at YOU!
Why are there a lot of whites in hockey?
It’s the only other job that involves beating something black other than being a cop.
My friend: You ever feel like life is pointless? *drives faster*
Me: Yea-
My friend: If you could die with one person, who would it be? *speeds up more*
Me: H-hey, you should slow down! Slow down, slow down! We're about to-