Worst Jokes Ever
What happens when a clock is hungry?
It goes back four seconds.
What's the favorite Spiderman film for orphans?
Homecoming.
What is the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
I take off my boots when I jump on a trampoline.
Dark jokes are like water; some people just don't get it.
All jokes are funny with the correct delivery. Except for abortion jokes, there is no delivery.
Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one asks for a glass of H2O. The second one asks for a glass of H2O, too. The second one dies. Why?
The average human male walks for five miles, but the gas station is ten miles away. So why does it take fifteen years for my dad to buy cigarettes?
"Just say no to drugs!"
Well, if I'm talking to my drugs, I probably already said yes.
How to get quick cash:
Step 1: Kill a child's parents.
Step 2: Do foster care for them.
Step 3: Get paid for doing foster care.
Joker gives Batman a phone.
Thomas: "Uhh, son, we need to talk... about the uhh, dressing up."
Martha: "Hello dearie, Brucie, is it ok if you visit me when you go to Joker's house?"
A cement mixer has collided with a prison van. Motorists are asked to look out for 16 hardened criminals.
Apparently, describing the beautiful city of Hiroshima as "The bomb" is not okay.
Why did the skunk 𦨠sleep π€ under a car?
Because he wanted to wake up oily.
A is for apple, B is for dyslexiaβoh wait, no! Thatβs D!
What's a paedophile's favorite footwear?
White Vans.
Yo mama is so fat, she has her own personal gravity.
Roses are red, shit is brown, Get that dick out my ass so we can go to town.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
A duck walks into a bar. The duck says to the bartender, "Hey bartender, got any bread?" The bartender says, "No." Then the duck says, "Hey bartender, got any bread?" The bartender says, "NO!" The duck says, "Hey bartender, got any bread?" The bartender says, "No, and if you say that one more time I will nail your bill to this bar!" The duck says, "Hey bartender, got any nails?" The bartender says, "No." The duck says, "Well then, bartender, got any bread?"
I guess that corn is a-maize-ing.