Worst Jokes Ever
What is a prostitute's favorite form of traffic control?
Speed humps.
Yo mama so fat, Thanos had to snap twice.
Once my friend was saying something dumb, and I was like, "I Campbell-eve you just said that."
My wife told me to be more in touch with my feminine side. So, I crashed the car, then didn't talk to her for the rest of the day for no reason.
I just finished my fourth round of baby back ribs. For some reason, everyone else at the abortion center is staring at me.
What if soy milk is just regular milk trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
The more people who like to eat Tide Pods, the less idiots we have in the world. 😁
1273. Depression got the best of me. I'm gonna cry in my room now.
What does my arm have in common with paper?
They both can be cut.
A wife asked her husband why he cheated on her. His reply was, “She was just lying there naked on the table, what was I supposed to do?” The wife replies, “Change the damn diaper, you idiot.”
Why do people hate abortion jokes?
It leaves you with an empty feeling inside.
What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A candy baa.
Your hairline is like the universe, still waiting to be discovered.
What's the similarity between a broken pencil and my life?
They're both pointless.
I had problems milking my cow one morning. It was an udder failure.
I named my dog Syndrome, so when he sits on my couch I say, “Get down, Syndrome!”
What kind of fish comes out at night?
A starfish.
How many orphans does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they don't even got a home.
What's the difference between an ugly monster and you?
Nothing.
What do you call an orphan who grows up and becomes a priest?
Father Les.