Worst Jokes Ever
3.14% of sailors are...
π-rates.
If you don't like my suicidal jokes, sorry man, didn't know it cut that deep.
What did the rope say to me?
"Hey there man, you wanna hang later?"
What's grosser than gross? A truckload of dead babies.
What's grosser than that? A live one at the bottom.
What's grosser than that? When he eats his way out.
Grosser than that? When he goes back for more.
What’s black, white, and red all over? A nun on her period.
Things I would have missed if my attempt in 2018 worked...
My attempts in 2019, 2020, and 2021!
Why can't orphans play poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.
Chuck Norris knows Victoria's Secret.
People trying to stop me from being depressed: “Just cheer up!”
Me: “WOW, I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT!”
What is worse than 16 babies in 16 dumpsters? One baby in 16 dumpsters.
In the average room, there are about 2,894,638 items that Chuck Norris can use to kill you, including the room itself.
Did you hear that Alicia wrecked her Lexus?
It's really a shame. She had to give her dad 3 months worth of blowjobs before he'd pay for it.
How do you make holy water?
You take normal water and boil the hell out of it.
I got my son a trampoline for his birthday. The ungrateful cunt sat in his wheelchair all day.
Why does the United States have such a good military? Because they learn to dodge bullets in school.
Your hairline looks like the McDonald's sign M.
What's an orphan's favorite Spiderman movie?
"Spiderman: No Way Home."
What do you call it when a boxer cums? Busting a nut.
When Santa asks you what you want for Christmas, then says "ho ho ho," say, "Yes, please."
I'm friends with only 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know why.