Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

When I was little, I would pray to Jesus every night for him to get me a new bike. I learned one week in Sunday school that that's not how it works, so instead, I just stole one and asked him for forgiveness.

My teacher told me, "You have no idea how powerful this quote is." I looked at her and told her, "You don't know how powerful the shotgun in my bookbag is."

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    • So, a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods.

    Boy: "Hey mister, it's getting dark out and I'm scared!"

    Man: "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"

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    • A boy breaks a vase, and his mom says it's ok, honey, mistakes happen. How do you think you were born?

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    • Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

    Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

    What first went through Sally's head when the Nazis came? A bullet.

    Where did Sally go when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.

    What did Sally get for Christmas? A bike.

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    • The 911 people really didn't scramble fast enough, so they got folded like an omelet.

    People say that they can read people's faces; then how come nobody sees me breaking inside?

    My doctor is a very attractive woman; gorgeous face, nice boobs, smoking hot body. She said to me, “You are in your 50’s now, you have GOT to stop masturbating.” I asked why. She replied, “Because I’m trying to examine you, ya’ pervert!!!”

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    • Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly. I told her that, as a punishment, she won't eat butter for 1 month.

    Today I saw her killing a cockroach in the kitchen. I told her "nice try".

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    • Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marrahwanah.

    Jack got high, slapped her thigh, and then they had some fun.

    Jill forgot to take her pills, and now they have a son.

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