Worst Jokes Ever
What is worse than a baby getting hanged in a tree?
That same baby getting hanged in multiple trees.
What do you call a rooster lollipop?
A cock sucker!
What is the Titanic's favorite mint?
Icebreakers.
I have MP3s on my computer that are older than Johnny Depp's new significant other.
Man: What's up?
Me: I'm annoyed.
Man: Why?
Me: I stole my gf's heart.
Man: So why are you annoyed?
Me: Everyone else in the surgery room gave me weird looks.
Why was Michael Jackson so loved? He touched so many children in so many special ways.
After watching Star Wars 8, I have to say Snoke was half the man I expected him to be.
Roses are red, your eyes are brown; never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down.
Why can't Michael Jackson go within 500m of a school zone?
Because he's dead.
People say that biting off your finger would be as easy as biting a carrot if your brain didn't try to stop you. How the f do people know that and how many people's fingers did they bite off before coming to that conclusion?
My mom said to take out the trash bags, so I did. And the next day, my mom asked, "Where are your sisters?" I said, "In line to get crushed."
While an unsuspecting father's at the office making money, this 18 year old son will spend his day in mother's cunny.
We're at the breakfast table, father eats and takes his calls, he doesn't know my mother's toes are kneading at my balls.
Who is the king of Reddit?
Sam Ryan.
What do Princess Diana and a landmine have in common? Both are easy to lay. Both costly and time-consuming to get rid of.
What did Saint Peter say to Diana when she got to the pearly gates? "Wipe that Merc off your face."
Isn't it strange that the LGBTQ flag only has straight lines?
Yo mama is so fat, she has her own personal gravity.
Why isn’t there a pregnant Barbie doll?
Ken came in another box.
Q. What's the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid? A. One has a functioning neck.
Blue: The ocean is a place where the creatures live.
Black: NIGHTMARES LIVE!
Blue: It has many pretty things and it will-
Black: KILL YA TO DEATH! Especially if you are on Titanic! So let that sink in. PUN INTENDED!
I got a part in a movie called "Cocaine." I only have one line.