Worst Jokes Ever
Me: If a skinny person goes skinny dipping, then what do fat people do?
My friend: Chunky dunks.
Why do orphans love to go to church? Because they have someone to call father.
"I know that everyone is allowed to act stupid once in a while, but you’re really abusing that privilege."
What do you call an orphan taking a family photo? A selfie.
Christopher Walkin: "This is a literal universal remote! It actually controls your life! You can pause, you can rewi-"
Me: power button.
Is a disabled person who has no arms but has guns armed or not armed?
How long does it take for 5 babies to die in the microwave?
I don't know, I can't count while I masturbate...
Are you a keyboard? Cause you're my type.
My town's population never changes. Every time a girl gets pregnant, a guy leaves town.
Cannibal eats missionary, gets a taste for religion.
I wish I didn't have depression because all my friends have "BBC Bitch be crazy" disease.
Little Johnny was overheard by his mother reciting his homework, “Two plus two, the son of a b*tch is four; four plus four, the son of a b*tch is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a b*tch...;” “Johnny!” shouted his mother. “Stop swearing!” “But mom!” Little Johnny protested, “That’s what the teacher taught us! And she said we should recite it till we learned it!”
The next day his mother went to the teacher to complain. “No, no,” said the teacher, terrified. “That’s not what I taught them. They’re supposed to say: ‘Two plus two, the sum of which is four.’”
Why aren't apple chargers called apple juice? Also, how do you throw away trash cans?
Why did the library book go to the doctor?
It needed to be checked out.
I heard the man who invented Autocorrect died; may he rest in peace.
Why did the male orphan decide to be gay?
Because he wanted someone to call "daddy."
A man walks into a bar and orders 3 shots of whiskey. The bartender asks, "What's got you down?"
The man says, "I just found out my niece is gay." The next day, he orders 4 shots of whiskey. The bartender asks, "What's got you down now?" The man says, "I just found out my son is gay."
The next day, he orders 6 shots of whiskey. The bartender says, "Got anybody who likes women?" The man says, "My wife does."
I feel sad for orphans. They can't watch Star Wars because it's parental guidance.
When your girlfriend has an abortion, it's kinda like dodging your own bullets.
What's a pirate's favorite key on the keyboard?
Others: R.
Rrrr, you would think so, but it be the C.