Worst Jokes Ever
My sister and I were both adopted from the same country, and my parents say they got us on a "two for one special."
Today my stoner friend used my to-do list as a blunt wrap.
He was high on my list of priorities.
I asked my mom what is dark humor. She said "see them boy over there in the wheelchair, ask him to walk." I said, "but I’m blind." She responded, "Exactly."
Roses are red, violets are blue. Get over here so I can fuck you.
An Asian went to bed at 9:00, woke up at 6. People say he's still sleeping.
Once there was a girl named Sally! She had no arms or legs, was mute, deaf, and blind.
Knock knock Who’s there? Not Sally.
Fred and Mary got married, but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's parent's home for their first night together.
In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast.
As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up yet.
She replies, "No".
Johnny asks, "Do you know what I think?"
His mom replies, "I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to school."
Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?"
She replies, "No."
Johnny says, "Do you know what I think?"
His mom replies, "Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school."
After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?"
His mom says "No."
He asks, "Do you know what I think?"
His Mom replies, "Ok, do tell me what you think?"
He says: "Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue."
What do you call a woman who says she can do anything a man can do?
Wrong.
Dark jokes are like clean water, not everyone gets it.
"What do we want?"
"HEARING AIDS!"
"When do we want them?"
"HEARING AIDS!"
Your hairline is so far back, Paw Patrol couldn't finish their mission.
What's got 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet?
The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
Why can’t you ever trick an aborted baby?
Because it wasn’t born yesterday. 🤭
How to make an orphan BLEED?
Step 1 - Tell them to clap until they actually have a loving family.
Step 2 - LAUGH EVILLY as they BLEED.
Step 3 - Tell them to kys.
Step 4 - Leave that mental asylum.
Why is there air conditioning in hospitals? To keep the vegetables cool and fresh.
So today I heard a friend say she had a stalker. I can confirm I've never seen a stalker following her.
According to statistics, 5 of 6 people enjoy gang rape.
Night chat. #love you forever maybe until I die! 🌸
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.
Yo mama so fat when she jumped in the water, the whales started singing "We are a family, even though you fatter than me."