Worst Jokes Ever
what did the banana say to the banana?
"u look a-pealing"
Wife: "Did you notice that the child is actually not yours?"
Husband: "I've been suspecting this for a long time. Finally you admit it."
Wife: "What are you talking about? I asked you to pick up our child from the kindergarten. But the child you picked up is not ours!"
An American and an Asian walk into a bar. What are your names? the bartender asks. The American says, "William Matthews." The Asian says, "Same Ting."
What is worse than 16 babies in 16 dumpsters? One baby in 16 dumpsters.
Why were Abraham Lincoln and John F. Kennedy very wise presidents?
They both had an open mind.
Why can't Asians golf?
Because they can't drive.
If abortion is murder, is jerking off genocide?
I went to the National Redhead Meeting yesterday.
Not a soul in sight.
My mom said she will slam my head into my computer if I don't get off it. I'm not too worried though, I think she is just joking.
Little Johnny catches his parents going at it and says, "Hey dad! Whatcha doin'?"
His father says, "I'm filling your mom's tank."
Johnny says, "Oh yeah, well, you better get a model that gets better mileage because the milk man filled her up this morning."
Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70?
Because when she gets to 69 there's a frog in her throat.
Two wrongs don't make a right. Take your parents as an example.
Roses are red, violets are blue, there are kids in my basement, you'll be there soon.
What do you call a teenage boy who doesn’t masturbate?
A liar.
I took a pole today. 100% of the people in the tent were unhappy that it collapsed.
Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?
A: The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green!
⚠️I’m not racist it’s just a joke⚠️
What do you call four black ppl in a sleeping bag?
A Kit Kat
Why did the baby cross the road? The car seat wasn’t strapped in.
What's got 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves! Nah, just kidding... He still hasn't unwrapped his present.
Rape is such an ugly word, I prefer the term "struggle snuggle."