Worst Jokes Ever

What do you call a transgender person? Nintendo Switch.

During a phone call:

"Hey, is Michael Jackson in Miami with his manager?"

"Actually, he's off to Tampa with the kids."

how to solve world hunger and over population?

Cannibalism.

Why are there a lot of whites in hockey?

It’s the only other job that involves beating something black other than being a cop.

I got my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. He came back a week later and said it was the most violent book he’s ever read.

So a guy named Nathaniel just came home, and when he enters his sister’s room, he sees her f***ing a piece of broccoli. And Nathaniel says, “Abbie, what’s wrong with you? I was going to eat that later, and now it smells like broccoli!”

I was at a funeral for some kids in a school shooting. I don't understand why everyone was so sad, so I asked a lady, "what's so sad?" and she said "What do you think was running through these kid's heads before they died?" I replied "probably a bullet". She gasped and said "do you have any idea how insensitive that is? What do you think is running through their parent's heads?" I said "probably all the money they're losing from this funeral."

Why is there air conditioning in hospitals? To keep the vegetables cool and fresh.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Orphans go to church to call someone father.

When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.

The doctor says, "Your wife is pregnant." The man says that he used a condom and the doctor says, "Yeah, but I didn't."

Kid: But, Mom, I don't want to see Grandma.

Mom: Shut up and keep digging.

Sometimes, I think back on all the mistakes I've ever made.

Then I realize, "My daughter isn't THAT bad..."

Roses are red. The sun isn't shining. My mental state is rapidly declining.

My mother didn't want me to love my sister. That made me angry. But then, one day I found this quote: "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer." Since that day, I fuck my sister hard and my MOM harder!

What's the difference between a good joke and a bad joke? Timing.

Do you know Putin?

Put in these balls in your mouth.

There are only 2 things I hate in this world:

1. People who are intolerant of other people's cultures. 2. The French.

A job is like virginity. Not everyone loses it.