Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a born-again heteroflexible male that is a Christian nationalist who thinks he is bisexual when the LGBT community knows that he is bicurious and that he is on steroids and that the LGBT community knows that he is not telling the truth about that? He is a gay man that is in the closet. He should be forced out of the closet by gay men in the LGBT community by any means necessary if gay men in the LGBT community still want to defend the wall of separation of church and state by any means necessary.
What is the difference between an emo kid and a cutting board?
Why do Black people go to a confession stand at the Catholic Church?
They wanna know what it’s like to speak to a father.
I once told a chemistry joke... sadly, it got no reaction.
What is an orphan's favorite beer?
"Fosters."
What’s something you can say in a grocery store and in bed?
"Thanks for coming."
In life, it’s either yeet or get beat, and I clearly failed yeeting as a child, as my dad beat me.
I tried to commit suicide today; never doing that again. I almost killed myself.
What is the difference between a Rubik’s cube and a penis? I don’t know, but they both get harder the more you play with them.
How many dead children does it take to change the light in a basement?
More than ten, apparently.
What feature does an orphan's phone not have?
A home button.
Why can’t you ever trick an aborted baby?
Because it wasn’t born yesterday. 🤭
How do Asians name their kids?
They throw pots and pans down the stairs. (ching chong dong)
What's the difference between a knife and my life?
A knife has a point.
Ring ring.
Abortion clinic!
Where no fetus can beat us.
Why does Batman’s mask only cover half of his face?
So the police can see that he’s white.
What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in a bathtub?
Throw them some laundry.
Did you hear the scores of the African basketball game?
It was Eight-Nothing.
I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. A week later, he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.
A man is driving down the road and runs over a rabbit. He slams on his brakes, gets out, and walks up to the flattened bunny. The bunny is obviously expired.
A passing car slams on its brakes and screeches to a halt. The driver of that car runs up to the bunny, pulls out an aerosol can, and sprays the bunny with the aerosol spray. The bunny jumps up, runs a few feet, then stops, turns around, and waves its paw at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around, and waves at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around, and waves at the two men. He continues to do this until he’s out of sight.
The first driver looks at the man with the aerosol can and says, “Wow, that is amazing! What is in that can?” The man looks at the can and reads the label, “Hair restorer, with a permanent wave.”