Worst Jokes Ever
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn't have the guts to do it.
I like my women the way I like my coffee, and I don't drink coffee.
What's worse than waking up with a penis drawn on your face?
Finding out it was traced.
I went to my boss's funeral and knelt down to his coffin and whispered, "Whose late now?"
My first time sex was like buying my first used, crappy car.
I didn't want it, but Dad gave it to me anyway.
My dad is like my depression, you need a suicide letter to find him.
So, I just got kicked out of the orphanage library for putting a book about parents in the fiction section.
Little Johnny went on a camping trip. All the tents were taken, so he shared with the teacher. So Little Johnny says: "Can I play with your bellybutton? My mom always lets me when we camp." So the teacher says: "Sure." 5 minutes later the teacher says: "Woah, woah, woah that's not my bellybutton!" Little Johnny says: "Woah, woah, woah, that's not my finger."
What do you call a 3-sum with a girl with AIDS?
Nut in the butt.
What was Michael Jackson's favorite dessert? Cream pie.
Mexican runs into a wall. He loses hope.
Me: (pointing up in the air) "Everybody listen up, this is a robbery!"
Girl: "Dude, this is a library."
Me: "Oh." (screwing on a silencer)
Boy Scout...
- A kid who dressed like an idiot.
- An idiot who dressed like a kid.
Why can't you kill a depressed person?
Because they are already dead inside.
Why was the emo kid thrown out of the amusement park?
He kept cutting in line.
Welcome onboard Sexist Airlines. Everyone, please fasten your seatbelts now as we are switching to a female pilot.
A man walks into a bar with a 44. Magnum and yells, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" The bartender answers, "Mate, you ain't got enough bullets."
I've decided to marry a pencil. I can't wait to introduce my parents to my bride 2B.
I like my women like I like my wine. 16 and locked in my in a basement.
What is the difference between a feminist and a female prostitute? If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.