Worst Jokes Ever
Apple made a new product for Chinese people called the iOpener.
Why do orphans hate hide n seek?
'Cause they can't find their parents.
The Twin Towers remind me of an emote... bing, bang, boom.
Kid: Are you gay?
Me: No, I'm straighter than the pole your mom dances on.
Why are Alabamians so resentful of immigrants?
They don't want their sons and daughters to have sex with anyone other than their siblings or relatives.
What do you call a movie at Bill Cosby’s house?
Netflix and pill.
These murder jokes are just KILLING me!
I had a horrible nightmare yesterday. I was in a room filled with all of my ex's, so I was completely alone.
My mom asked me if I was okay, so I replied, "I will be," and jumped out the window!
What's the difference between a Catholic hospital and Michael Jackson's Children's Hospital?
No seriously, what is it?
What's the difference between Freddie Mercury and Princess Diana?
Freddie lived long enough to be a Queen.
I said to my pregnant wife, "Push, darling, come on, push harder, dear!" No, she wasn't giving birth; the bloody car would not start.
Why is the German blind?
Because he's a "not see."
One depressed kid goes to high-five a tree, but the tree just left him hanging.
What's the leading cause of pedophilia? Sexy children.
A blind man walks into a bar... and a table... and a chair... and the counter.
I kicked a ball into someone. Now I got a red card.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Not your dad.
Mother, “Johnny, if you keep being this naughty, you’ll get kids who will be very naughty to you!”
Johnny, “Oh mom, you just betrayed yourself there, didn’t you?”
Why did the autistic ice cream run away from the party?
She had a meltdown.