Worst Jokes Ever
Q: How do Chinese people name their kids?
A: They throw pots and pans down the stairs and see what noises they make.
Where can you never take an orphan to dinner?
Family restaurants.
How did Helen Keller's mom punish her? She put her in a circular room and told her to find the corner.
Why is the sea salty?
Because the land never waves back.
I was wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me.
My wife thinks I'm immature, so I told her to get out of my fort.
My ex got into a bad accident recently. I told the doctors the wrong blood type. Now she will really know what rejection feels like.
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? Yeah, he's all right now.
The reason why people are short is because their dad never came back with the milk.
The "f" in orphan is for family.
Never take a person canoeing or kayaking if they had a cerebrovascular accident.
They’ll hear the one word they hate the most: “STROKE, STROKE, STROKE!”
Why is sex like math?
You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.
I visited the 9/11 memorial, that was bomb just like the towers.
I said to my pregnant wife, "Push, darling, come on, push harder, dear!" No, she wasn't giving birth; the bloody car would not start.
The police department made a new machine that will teleport you back to prison if you commit a crime. The police release 4 criminals: a hacker, a rapist, a serial killer, and a drug lord. The hacker tries to hack a bank. The hacker gets teleported back to prison. The drug lord tries to cook meth. The drug lord gets teleported back to prison. Now the serial killer decides that she wants to change, but when she sees a knife she just can’t help it. She bends down to pick up the knife and the rapist gets teleported back to prison.
I love murder shows... wish me luck cause I'm kinda hoping to be on one one day.
Buy KFC or else.
What's the best part about having emo grass?
It cuts itself!
Why did the pedophile cross the road?
To get to the other preschool.
What do an angler fish and a pedophile have in common?
They both like to hide in dark places, look creepy, and like to lure small creatures.