Worst Jokes Ever
There's no "I" in team, but there is a "U" in cunt.
Everyone laughs when a bully teases someone, but no one laughs when that person commits suicide.
What is a cow's favorite party game?
Moo-sical chairs!
What is the difference between an iPhone and an orphan?
An iPhone has a button to go home.
What did the deaf man say to the blind man before he fell into the well?
Nothing.
Actually, Iron Man is female.
No means no, but if you use chloroform, it’s a guaranteed yes.
A high school student and his best friend were rushing to class after his best friend caused them both to be late. His best friend asked, "Would you like to hear a joke?" "Sure," he replied. "What do you and your sister have in common?" "I don't know." "Because of me you're both late for your next period."
There's two types of emo people:
1. People that cut side to side.
2. And people that cut up and down.
The most efficient is up and down.
What is the difference between a gay man and a fridge? A fridge doesn't moan when you put meat in it.
How many dyslexics does it take to change a lightbulb?
Steven.
If you’re waiting for the waiter at a restaurant, aren’t you the waiter?
What do you call a depressed person holding a knife?
Freedom yay! (so funny ikr)
A guy goes onto a rooftop bar and is sitting next to a guy who says he’s drinking a magical drink. He asks, “What’s so magical about it?” The guy drives a car and flies it around the rooftop. The other tries, but falls off and dies.
The bartender shakes his head and says, “Y’know, you’re a real jerk when you’re drunk, Superman.”
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
Why do scuba divers fall backwards off of the boat?
Because if they fell forward, they'd still be on the boat.
Why did Stephen Hawking's wife get annoyed with him?
He had an affair with Alexa.
What do you call Adolf Hitler in a pool? Adolfin.
I wish my grass was emo, then it would cut itself.
I threw a Asian down some stairs. It was Wong on so many levels.