Worst Jokes Ever

If you wanna really know how to get under my skin, give me a razor and maybe we'll talk ;)

What’s a Mexican’s favorite sport?

Cross-country.

If laughter is the best medicine, shouldn't we go up to disabled people and laugh at them?

How do you start a school shooting at a black school?

Call the cops.

What did a terrorist say when New York didn't want his food?

"Here Comes The Airplane!"

What's the difference between an onion and a baby?

One makes you cry when you cut it up.

Ah yes, cremation. My last chance of having a smokin' hot body.

How do you sink an American battleship?

Have the French build it.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?

One's made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with, the other one carries your shopping.

What does a cannibal and a spider have in common?

Both have eight legs.

Last night, I burned an orphanage. There was one survivor who said I would regret it. I said, "What are you gonna do? Tell your parents?"

6:30 has to be the best time, hands down.

Two brothers play on the street. One of them finds a condom on the ground. Not knowing what it is, they go to their mum and ask what it is that they found. Mum gets mad and yells to throw that away immediately.

Guys go back to the yard, surprised why their mum got mad for just latex. One of them says: "Why did mum get so angry?" The other: "I have no idea, thankfully we did not tell her that we've eaten the yogurt inside!"

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.

Jack got high and grabbed Jill's thigh and said, "You know you wanna."

Jill said yes and lifted her dress so they could have some fun, but stupid Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.

Playing soccer in a wheelchair is basically Rocket League in real life.

I got into a fight with 1, 3, 5, 7, and 9. The odds were against me.

What do you call a boy Panera Bread?

Panera Balls.

My mom tells me when I get into an argument with her that she brought me into this world and she can take me out. Sometimes I wanna tell her that I can do that for her.

Virginia is false advertising. Couldn't find many virgins there.

What is the difference between preschools and my basement?

Little kids come out of preschool.