Worst Jokes Ever
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said, "I know you wanna." Jack undressed, and she pulled up her dress so they could have some fun. But stupid Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
What's a similarity between a cliff hanger and nooses?
They both leave you hanging.
What type of tape do kidnappers use?
Abduct-Tape.
Where did little Lucy go during the bombing?
Everywhere.
John: Hi, boss, it is raining heavily today, so I will not be coming.
Boss: You stated in your job application that swimming was your hobby, so see you at 11 AM.
Dad: We are giving your toys to the orphanage.
Kid: Why?
Dad: So you won't get bored.
After 12, it's lunch. 😂
Kobe Bryant jokes just don't really fly well now.
Why did the orphan sleep outside? ... Because he gets to wake up to Mother Nature.
Gary and Steve are having sex and the phone rings. Steve goes to answer the phone and tells Gary, "Hey, don't finish yourself until I get back." After returning from the other room, there is cum all over the bed and wall of the bedroom. "Jesus, Gary, I said not to finish yourself until I got back!" Gary turns to him and says, "I didn't, I farted."
What's the difference between Wacko Jacko and Elvis Presley?
14 number 1 hits.
My grandpa killed 100 German soldiers; he was the worst German pilot ever.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
9/11 victims are the best readers.
They went through hundreds of stories in a few seconds.
Doctor: You don't have long to live. 10...
Patient: Ten what? Ten years, ten months?
Doctor: 9... 8... 7...
I named my daughter Kennedy so when I talked about how her brain was shot out of her head, people just thought I paid really close attention in history.
What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay guy? You have to ask permission before stuffing it with meat.
The "W" in African stands for water.
Roses are red, violets are violet.
My grandad died in 9/11. He was a good pilot.
Why do scuba divers fall backwards off of the boat?
Because if they fell forward, they'd still be on the boat.