Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Crime

36 views ·

Alright, riddle me this: I am loud and obnoxious, I like music that rhymes. I'm a fraction of the population, but commit half the crimes! What am I?

Day

282 views ·

One day Timmy walks in on his mum in the bath. Then he asks, “What’s that dark fuzzy thing, mummy?” and mum said, “It’s a bush, every girl has one!” Then the next day he walks in on his dad in the shower. So he asks, “Daddy, what’s that long thing?” The dad then says, “It’s a sexy boy” accidentally. Timmy asks his dad, “What does sexy mean?” And the dad says, “Your mother, of course,” making it seem like a child-friendly compliment. Then the next day at school Timmy wanted to compliment his teacher. He walks up to her and says, “You’re so so sexy!”

Emo

357 views ·

- The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.

- How did the gay person die? Homicide.

- Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.

- When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.

- I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.

- I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.

- How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.

Day

9 views ·

Astronomers got tired of watching the moon rotate around the earth for 24 hours, so they just called it a "day".

Lightbulb

215 views ·

How many white guys does it take to screw a lightbulb?

None. They hire me to do it.

Cock

426 views ·

One day, a priest loses his cock (chicken). He goes to the church and says, "Who has seen a cock?" All the women raised their hands. "No, who has seen a cock that is not theirs?" Half the women's hands went up. "No, no, no, who has seen my cock?" All the nuns' hands went up.

Fat

47 views ·

You're so fat, astronomers discovered a planet larger than Earth but smaller than Uranus.

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  • Ankle

    206 views ·

    You can tell a lot about a woman from her ankles. If they are on your shoulders, she probably likes you.