Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
Virgin mobile.
How much do 2000 pounds of Chinese noodles weigh? Won Ton.
Once my friend was saying something dumb, and I was like, "I Campbell-eve you just said that."
Why did the guitarist get fired as a carpenter? He was shredding the floor...
Whenever I go to bed, my wife disappears, but whenever I turn on the lights at night, she’s back in bed.
What are the differences between Santa and Joe Biden?
The kids actually want to sit on Santa’s lap.
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire today.
Now they call him Hot Wheels.
My grandma always said, "Slow and steady wins the race."
She died in a fire.
It's all fun and games until someone fails at becoming Superman.
I once ate a watch. It was time consuming.
When I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, they got all excited and asked if I could fly a plane.
The F in orphan stands for family.
Yo mama so stupid, she said, "Where are my gifts?" on Father's Day.
What do you call a man off the ground?
Hanged.
What is a pirate's favorite letter?
You'd think it'd be R, but really his heart will always belong to the C.
There was a race between Lettuce, a faucet, and Ketchup. The lettuce was a-head, the faucet was still running, and the ketchup was trying to ketchup.
I have no father. Like if you relate.
They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, well not if it's poisoned.
Then the antidote becomes the most important.
What do you call a feminine cow?
A dairy queen.
In life, it’s either yeet or get beat, and I clearly failed yeeting as a child, as my dad beat me.