Worst Jokes Ever
Yesterday, a guy threw a liter of milk at me.
How dairy!
They have a new line of socks for paraplegics.
They are so comfortable they can't even feel them.
You're so ugly that even Hello Kitty said goodbye.
I got told I'm too mean and that I need to think before I speak. So now I take a couple minutes and think of what will REALLY piss the other person off.
I have no friends, but then I realize my true friends are anxiety and depression.
How do women make you a millionaire?
When you're a billionaire.
Are your hands feeling heavy? Because I can hold them for you.
Two skeleton brothers are talking.
1st bro: "Hey, get up! You and do some exercise! You are so heavy, you weigh a ton!"
2nd bro: "A skele-TON :)"
What is brown and sticky?
A stick.
Why can't England play chess? Because they lost their queen!
I started selling landmines disguised as prayer mats.
Prophets are through the roof!
Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale?
Because they’ve already lost 2 towers.
My dad died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.
What is the fastest thing in the world?
James Charles when he sees little boys.
Question: Why did the blonde get excited after finishing a puzzle in 5 months?
Answer: The box said 3-5 years!
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is.
What do you get when you cross a lesbian that is a feminazi, a lesbian that is a progressive democrat, a promiscuous woman that is a lesbian prostitute working inside a lesbian brothel in San Francisco, California, and one of Jehovah's Witnesses?
Did you hear about the man who ran in front of the bus? He got tired.
If you slit your wrist while crying in pain, that's self-harm.
If you slit your wrist but have no expression, that's acting.
It isn't any of those if it's suicide.
What's the difference between a hooker and a mosquito?
The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.