
Worst Jokes Ever
Why are emo jokes so infamous?
They cut deep.
My wrists have a different texture pack than the rest of me.
I was going to make a chemistry joke. But it looks like I won’t get a reaction :)
I would like to dedicate this song to a friend of mine, who was run over last week and is in hospital.
The wheels on the bus go round and round!
Three guys are in the woods, a really smart guy, an average guy, and a really dumb guy. They're bored, so the smart guy decides to go hunting. A little while later he comes back with a deer. The average guy asks, "How did you do that?" The really smart guy says, "I see deer tracks, I follow deer tracks, I see deer, I shoot deer." The average guy says, "I think I understand," and leaves. A little bit later he comes back with a raccoon. The really dumb guy goes *gasp*, "How did you do that!?" And the average looks at him funny and says, "Well, I see raccoon tracks, I follow raccoon tracks, I see raccoon, I shoot raccoon." The super dumb guy thinks for a second and says, "Oooohh, ok, I think I can do that..." and leaves.
Hours pass, and the guy finally returns, hurt, bloody, and horribly mangled. They run to help him. Finally, one of the guys asks him what happened. This is what he said: "I see train tracks, I follow train tracks, I see train, I shoot train. But train keep coming."
I went for a job interview today and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."
"Well, I'm your man," I replied, "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."
I looked up "I have whiplash" on WebMD, and it diagnosed me with slavery.
Why does Michael Jackson have such a hard time playing chess?
He can't choose between black or white.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
"I met a girl and she's 28."
"Now I'm the coolest guy in all of 8th grade."
- AJR
Friend: I'm gonna go ask out my crush.
Me: *fake sneezes* Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit.
What did Luke Skywalker say when he saw someone bullying his sister?
You better not lay a finger on her!
I just got kicked out of the fucking library for putting the women's rights in the fiction section.
What do you call someone with a pindie spot?
Stop screen recording.
I’d tell a sodium and hydrogen pun, but NaH.
My wife left me for an Indian guy. I know he's going to treat her well, I heard they worship cows.
My dad told me to stop with the suicide jokes, so I said I’ll cut it out.
How do you blindfold a woman?
Put a windshield in front of them.
It's not rape if they can't say no. Duct tape.
Why does Hitler wear glasses? Because he can Nazi without them.