Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

I recently became the coach of an orphanage baseball team.

Because I hate dealing with parents.

Why are there no Olympics in Mexico?

Because everyone from Mexico that can run, jump, and swim is already over the border.

A guy meets a sex worker in a bar. She says, “This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for £300 as long as you can say it in three words.” The guy replies, “Hey, why not?” He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and lays £300 on the bar, and says slowly, “Paint...my....house.”

I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes.

The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked away with her cardboard box.

Walk up to the quiet kid and tell him to hang in there. Trust me, you won’t regret it.

Hi, welcome to Dave's Orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may I help you?

My son, who is into astronomy, asked me how stars die. I said, "Usually from an overdose."

Teacher: What's your favorite animal?

Me: Desert Eagle.

Teacher: Why?

Me: 'Cause it fits in my backpack.