Worst Jokes Ever
At my funeral, take the bouquet off the coffin and throw it into the crowd to see who's next.
I wasn’t staring, I was just trying to figure out if that was your hairline or the Great Wall of China.
Friend: Did your tattoos hurt?
Me: Nah, not really.
Friend: What did they feel like?
Me: 7th grade.
Friend: 😶😶😨😰😰😰😨
Stop making jokes about disabled people; they can’t stand up for themselves.
Everything I fall in love with leaves me. Maybe if I fall in love with my depression, it'll leave me too.
Yo mama so fat Thanos had to clap.
Flat earthers are completely wrong. If the earth was flat, I would have yeeted myself off the edge years ago!
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
What does a kid and wine have in common?
Shit, I forgot, but they're both locked in my cellar right now.
Life is like giving head... it always sucks.
What does a priest and a wristwatch have in common? They both start at 12.
Some people think prison is one word, but to criminals, it’s a whole sentence.
What do depressed people use for emotions online?
They use EMOjis.
How do you get a clown to stop smiling?
You shoot him in the face.
I went up to the blind kid and punched him and said bet you didn't see that coming
Why do I only date orphans?
Because they never have daddy issues.
Yo mama is so ugly that your dad has to be drunk to bring her home.
What does B.I.B.L.E. stand for?
Bull Shit In Book Lacking Evidence.
Does it cycle now?
Why couldn’t most people remember 9/11?
Because it flew over their heads.
How do you know when a football player has been to jail?
When he goes in a tight end and comes out a wide receiver.