Worst Jokes Ever
A kid asks his mom, "Mom, how much do you love me?" The mother responds with, "I love you as much as I love your brother." The kid looks confused and says, "But I don't have a brother." The mother smiles and says, "Well, I guess my love is not existing."
What do you call a dog with no legs? Call him whatever you want, he's not coming.
What do you do when you finish a magazine at a hospital?
Reload and keep shooting.
Have you heard about the guy whose friends teased him because he pays for sex? He doesn't pay anymore.
What do you call a cross between a gorilla and a monkey? -- A cross.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Not your dad.
Q: How can you tell the sun is a boy?
A: It rises every morning.
What do you call a Chinese man with one leg? "Tie won shu."
Why does Michael Jackson like 44-year-olds? There's 4 of them.
What do you call a chicken looking at a bowl of salad?
A chicken sees a salad (chicken Caesar salad).
What did the short Chinese man say when he was called a dwarf? "Da fok yu sai tu meee."
That awkward moment you try to relate to Batman by killing your parents.
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor?!"
Yo mama is so skinny, she can dodge raindrops.
A black boy walks into the kitchen where his mother is baking and accidentally pulls the flour over onto his head. He turns to his mother and says, “Look Mama, I’m a white boy!” His mother smacks him and says, “Go tell your Daddy what you just said!” The boy finds his father and says, “Look Daddy, I’m a white boy!” His Daddy bends him over, spanks him, stands the boy back up, and says, “Now, what do you have to say for yourself?” The boy replies, “I’ve only been a white boy for five minutes and I already hate you black people!”
I lent a hot girl my umbrella yesterday. That takes the number of girls I've made wet this year to -1.
Some guy called me a tool. So I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend. Guess he was right.
How do you think the unthinkable? With an iceberg.
What do you call a 90-year-old black man?
Antique farming equipment.
Why did the bank robber shoot the man with no arms?
Because he told the man to put his hands up.