Worst Jokes Ever
What did the wind say to the palm tree? "Hold onto your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job."
What do planets read?
Comet books.
What do you call it when a midget waves at you?
A microwave.
What place has more boys than the Catholic Church? Michael Jackson's bedroom.
So the other day, I saw a child in a wheelchair.
He was getting bullied a lot, so I came up and said, "Why don't you stand up to those bullies?"
Two cows are out grazing in the field. One cow says to the other cow, "Aren't you worried about this mad cow disease that's been going around?" The other cow replied, "Why would I be worried about mad cow disease? I'm a rabbit!"
You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just by her hands. For example, if she's holding a gun, she's probably angry.
Why does a queen have more mobility than the king in chess?
Because the board looks like a kitchen floor.
Parents: "I'm taking your toys to the orphanage." Kid: "Why?" Parents: "So you don't get bored there."
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why?
To get to the idiot's house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
So Stephen Hawking walked into a bar - just kidding.
What do you call a school shooting survivor who grows up to be a prostitute on the West Coast?
A Sandy Hooker
Q. What do you call a person with Alzheimer's?
It doesn't matter. They'll forget what you said in thirty seconds anyway.
I was always poked and told at weddings your next...
So I went to funerals and poked them and said your next.....
How do you make a dead baby float?
1 cup rootbeer 2 scoops dead baby.
I was trying to poison Santa, but he killed my dad and ate all the cookies! 😤
I can hear the whole world booing me.
What is a pedophile's favorite part of a hockey game?
Before the first period.
What does a pedophile and a light switch have in common?
They both get turned on by children.
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
Suicide squad.