Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Dog

  • What do you call a dog with no legs?

    It doesn't matter, he isn't coming to you.

  • 0
  • Canoe

  • A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an expedition to the Amazon Forest. After a while, they get lost. As they are walking, suddenly the bushes jump up into the air and men with spears are there. One man says, "Hey, you're in our sacred land. So what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren't that crazy, so we will let you choose how you die."

    The man from France said, "Bring me the poison."

    The man from Britain said, "Bring me the gun."

    And the man from New York said, "Bring me a fork."

    The guy was confused with the fork but still brought the items and gave them to them.

    The guy from France said, "For France!" And drank the poison and died.

    The man from Britain said, "Long live the queen!" And shot himself and died.

    And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said, "Make a canoe out of this, you fuckers!"

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  • Medical School

  • When I was young, I decided to go to a medical school.

    At the entrance exam, we were asked to re-arrange letters

    'PNEIS'

    and form the name of an important human body part which is most useful when erect.

    Those who answered 'SPINE' are doctors.

    Phone

  • Today, I asked my phone, "Siri, why am I still single?" and it activated the front camera.

  • 0
  • Orphan

  • Today I saw a little boy wearing rags sitting on a curb. I said, "Awww, are you an orphan?" He said, "Yes, what gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."

  • 1
  • Yo mama

  • - Yo mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow dress, people yell "Taxi!"

    - Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to climb Mountain Dew.

    - Yo mama is so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.

    - Yo mama is so old, she knew Burger King when he was still a prince.

    - Yo mama is so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention.

  • 3