Worst Jokes Ever
"You look like you've lost some weight."
"Really? Well, whatever weight I lost, you found it, pal!"
Q: What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
A: Neither of them get to see their parents.
What's the difference between an iPhone and an orphan?
One has a home.
What do you call a Mexican's prison?
The border.
How do you start a rave? Throw a flash bang into an epileptic children's ward.
What was Jesus's favorite sport?
Lacrosse.
doctor: you need to eat healthy.
me: no.
doctor: the last patient who didn't change their diet after I suggested it died.
me: oh my goodness.
doctor: in a plane crash.
me: that sounds unrelated.
doctor: I'm the one that crashed it. Do not disobey me!
What's the best way to get gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
I was sitting at a bench at the park and saw a lady. She asked which kid was mine, and I responded, "I haven't decided yet."
I told a joke to a guy who had jumped off a bridge... He was in bits! 🤣🤦♂️
What can you never tell an orphan?
Go home to your parents.
What does Johnny Depp do when his kids are not home?
Cocaine.
What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed?
Nothing.
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair.
Guess who came crawling back.
What made me laugh?
The fact that my life is a joke."
"What happened to your arm?" "Oh, uh... I became a gacha emo."
I wanted another piece of pizza... but she said I could only have One Piece.
If you get pinched by a man in a wheelchair, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"
What do teen mothers and their unborn babies have in common?
They're both thinking "Oh my God, my mom's gonna kill me!"
I took my girlfriend out the other day... Man, do I love being a sniper.