Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Fat

  • Your mom is so fat that if she sits on top of a gas station, she will lower the prices.

  • 2
  • Barber

  • Shit! My neighborhood barber just got arrested for selling drugs! I've been his customer for 4 years, but I had no idea he was a barber.

  • 2
  • Babe

  • "Babe, is it in?" "Yeah." "Does it hurt?" "Uh-huh." "Let me put it in slowly." "It still hurts." "Okay, let's try another shoe size."

    Adam

  • Mom, how were hoomans made? Son, it’s because Adam and Eve were brought down by God and made babies!

    Dad, how were hoomans made? Son, us humans evolved from monkeys!

    Mom, Dad said hoomans were evolved from monkeys, is that true? Oh son, (ruffles smol man’s hair) your dad was telling you his side of the family, and I was telling my side :)

  • 3
  • Abortion

  • What’s the difference between 911 and an abortion?

    With 911 there was a victim to tell the tale.

  • 0
  • Friend

  • A friend called me a while back saying, "I have COVID.... I can't breathe, I really have a hard time breathing."

    I reply saying, "Dude, you need to work on your George Floyd jokes."

  • 1
  • Egg

  • - I think you're EGGcellent.

    + Wow... You really CRACK ME UP with that joke. I think you're a EGGxtraordinary comedian.

    - Really? Are you done yet?.

    + Are you kidding? I have a DOZEN of them.

  • 1
  • Suicide

  • So, a man was on a ledge ready to kill himself because he got laid off at work and his girlfriend cheated on him. He was about to jump until he saw from a mountainside a little guy with no arms dancing around. So he thought, "Maybe my life ain't so bad." So he went to the mountainside. "Thank you," he said, "I was gonna jump off a bridge and kill myself until I saw you dancing, even though you have no arms. Dancing?" the armless man said bitterly, "My asshole itches and I can't scratch it."

  • 5