Worst Jokes Ever
One day a father and a daughter were at a park. The daughter accidentally kills a butterfly. The father says, "Just because you killed the butterfly, you don't get butter for a week."
They were there the next day, and the daughter kills a cockroach. The father laughs and says, "Nice try."
A friend of mine used to be morbidly obese, but after lots of exercise and hard work... We were able to lift his coffin.
Hi guys!
Why did the chicken commit suicide?
To get to the other side.
Bully: "Nobody loves you."
Me: "Aww, it must have hurt when your mom told you that."
So, a blind guy is sitting on a park bench with his seeing eye dog right beside him. Suddenly, his seeing eye dog cocks his leg and pisses all over the blind guy's leg. So the blind guy gives the dog a treat.
A man taking a walk saw the entire thing and said to the blind man, "That is the most charitable thing I’ve ever seen, your dog deliberately pissed on you and here you are giving him a dog biscuit." The blind man says, "Oh it’s not what you think, I’m just trying to find his head so I can kick him in the ass."
What's the difference between a joke and the Twin Towers? People don't laugh at my jokes.
My dad just comes and goes.
Why are Asian's eyes always squinted?
Nukes are bright.
What's the difference between a nun and a woman in a bathtub?
One's got hope in her soul, the other's got soap in her hole.
So, I just got kicked out of the orphanage library for putting a book about parents in the fiction section.
What's a ninja's favorite type of shoes?
Sneakers.
Roses are red. Walls are made of plaster. Schoolchildren can move fast, But bullets can move faster.
Call a group of emo kids Suicide Squad.
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they all beat the room for being black.
If you drink, don’t drive. People cause accidents.
If you drink, don’t park. Accidents cause people.
I was horrified when my wife told me that my six-year-old son wasn't actually mine. Apparently, I need to pay more attention during school pick-up.
I once ate a watch. It was time consuming.
How do you name an Asian child?
Ring the doorbell.
What do you call a prostitute with a major in math?
The thot that counts.