Worst Jokes Ever
I was sitting at a bench at the park and saw a lady. She asked which kid was mine, and I responded, "I haven't decided yet."
What's black and screams?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron.
Seriously, who wants fucking Annoying Orange as president?
Yo mama is so old, she is the founder of the pyramid of Egypt.
I heard that Jimmy Savile never wanted to be famous... All he ever wanted was to settle down, and have kids.
Why don't Chinese children believe in Santa?
Because they're the ones making the toys.
What starts off fun and ends in bankruptcy?
UNPROTECTED SEX.
Age is just a number,
Jail is just a room.
Proof that 9/11 isn't a government plot.
It worked.
What’s an orphan's favorite drink?
Fosters.
When you're the only one nice to the quiet kid.
Kid: "I like you... don't go to school tomorrow."
Getting murdered by someone is probably the most intimate experience I'll ever have.
When you feel lonely, just watch a scary movie.
You won't feel lonely anymore :(
Once there was a girl named Sally! She had no arms or legs, was mute, deaf, and blind.
Knock knock Who’s there? Not Sally.
There was an air crash of a Boeing 737-800 which can carry around 300 passengers.
It crashed in a cemetery.
They recovered 500 bodies.
I would tell you a construction pun, but I'm still working on it.
What’s the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese person
You have to drop the bomb twice before they get the message
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
De-calf-inated.
One day I told my wife that she drew her eyebrows too high.
She looked surprised.
Why did the orphan commit mass murder?
To be on top of the wanted list.