Worst Jokes Ever
What do ghosts put on their bagels 🥯?
Scream Cheese 😱.
What is the difference between a hooker and a feminist?
If you want a hooker to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.
If I were alone on an island with Camilla Cabello, and we were never going to escape, I'd rape her. I mean, what is she going to do? Tell someone?
What is Hitler's favorite game?
Nahtzee.
What did the kid with leukemia watch last night? Finding Chemo.
Teacher: Describe a penguin.
Student: Black, white, beak.
Teacher: Good, now describe an orphan.
Student: Sad, maybe depressed, no family.
Teacher: Amazing, now describe a cow.
Student: Brown bun hair, red shirt, white skirt, pantyhose, and dollar tree shoes.
Teacher: No! How does that describe a cow?
Student: It describes you tho.
What do you call it if your mom is a guy and your dad is a woman?
Transparent.
People sometimes ask me why I cut myself. I usually answer that at least I can scan my worth at the supermarket.
What’s the difference between an LGBTQ and brain cells?
Brain cells make up their mind.
Me: *Meets girl, starts to form crush* Me after I get enough courage to talk to her: “Are you a casket lid because I want you on top of me?”
“What do you call my friend group?” “Suicide Squad.”
What do you call someone smart and dead?
Stephen Hawking...
What do masturbation and brain damage have in common? After a few strokes, there’s no going back.
What is a tower's favorite bagel? I don't know, but it sure as hell ain't plain.
My family is like a cactus; a bunch of pricks.
My penis was in the Guinness Book of World Records. -- Then the librarian told me to take it out.
Why doesn't Barbie ever get pregnant? Because Ken comes in a different box!
Me: What did one toilet say to the other?
You: What?
Me: You look flushed!
If only they had more mosquito nets in Africa, we could prevent millions of mosquitos dying needlessly of AIDS...
People think Kelly Clarkson shops at Wal-Mart because she's a sloppy redneck. No, it's because toddlers' pants are 75% off everyday!
What do you call someone with Down Syndrome who smokes weed?
A baked potato.