Worst Jokes Ever
The only reason why Murrikkkunts think Canada isn't free is because incest is illegal in Canada, in which one can face a sentence as long as 14 years in prison if convicted.
A little boy and a little girl are taking a bath together. The little girl looks down at the boy and says, "Can I touch it?" The little boy looks back at her and says, "Hell no, you already broke yours off!"
My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
Necrophilia in Alabama is fun for the whole family, even grandma.
Why is Santa's sack so big?
Because he only cums once a year.
A white dad, a priest, and a rabbi all run out a burning school, and the dad says, “What about the kids?” and the rabbi replies to him saying, “Fuck the kids,” and the priest says, “Think we got enough time?”
I call my friends Dodo birds. Because they don't exist.
What are a group of depressed people called?
A suicide squad.
Friend: How dark IS your humor?
Me: It started an organization against cops.
a man died with an erection. the three nurses in the morgue saw this the first nurse climbs on and rides him. the second nurse dose the same the third hesitates saying "i'm on my period." the others say its ok hes dead so she rides him to. when she's done he sits up and all the nurses ask how hes alive he replies i'm good to go after the two jumpstarts and blood transfusion
What is an Emo's favorite way to Cosplay?
Dress up as a piñata!
I took my mother-in-law out yesterday morning.
Damn, I love being a sniper.
What's the best part about a dead prostitute?
The second hour is free.
Why did the strawberry cry? -- Because his mother was in a jam.
In my free time, I like to help blind people.
Verb, not adjective.
Losing weight is a piece of cake. Just don't pick it up.
How are rape and airplanes similar?
The ride gets more annoying when the kid starts screaming.
Why do Priests like playing the violin? They get to finger A minor.
My girlfriend left me for spending my own money. I buy this bitch thousands upon thousands of dollars worth of stuff, but I spend 100 dollars on a prostitute, she leaves me.
Why don’t orphans know how to use a phone?
Because they don’t know where home is.