Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Master bait

  • My brother wanted to go fishing. I told him he had to learn how to "master bait". Go look it up on YouTube. Guess who is grounded?

  • 2
  • Banana

  • Today I learned that on average, humans eat more bananas than monkeys.

    This is partially due to the fact that most humans don’t like the taste of monkey.

  • 5
  • Cardboard box

  • I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes.

    The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.

  • 15
  • Mile

  • Me: I named my dog Five Miles so I can tell people I walk five miles every day.

    Old man: I ran over five miles today.

  • 1
  • Orphan

  • The other day, I walked up to someone who looked lost and he had all scraggy clothes on. I said, "Are you an orphan?"

    He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"

    I said, "Your parents, buddy."

  • 1
  • Jingle Bells

  • I replaced "Jingle Bells" with "Jiggle Balls"... "Jiggle balls, jiggle balls, jiggle all the way! Oh what fun it is to ride on jiggly balls today!"

  • 2
  • Bathroom

  • This boy was in school one day when he became desperate to go to the bathroom.

    So he asked the teacher, "May I use the bathroom?"

    The teacher replied, "No, not unless you say your alphabet."

    So the boy said "a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z."

    When he finished, the teacher asked him, "Where's the p?"

    The boy replied, "Half way down my leg..."

  • 8
  • white Americans

  • Just because someone is white doesn't mean they are bad.

    Sure, white Americans all treat Trump like a deity and are proud of their heritage of enslaving blacks.

    But Canadians and Australians don't throw a hissy fit every time they see someone not white, and they don't think Europe is a country.

  • 4
  • Sperm Bank

  • An attractive man and a blonde meet in an elevator.

    "Where are you heading today?" the man asks.

    "I'm going down to give blood."

    "How much do you get paid for giving blood?"

    "About $30."

    "Wow," says the man, "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100."

    The woman, slightly annoyed, gets off the elevator. The next day, the man and woman meet in the elevator again.

    "Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?"

    "Sperm bank," she mumbles with her mouth full.

  • 0
  • Suicide

  • What do Phillip Adam and Kurt Cobain have in common?

    They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.

  • 1