Worst Jokes Ever
What's the similarity between a broken pencil and my life?
They're both pointless.
I'm on a seafood diet, I see food and I eat it.
Cannibal (n.) Someone who is fed up with people.
Good sex sounds like a white man walking across the street with flip-flops on.
What do you call a person in a wheelchair with a speaker?
Rolling Loud 🎸🎸
A man walks into a bar with his pet octopus and proudly claims the animal can play any musical instrument. The bartender pulls out a guitar from behind the bar and gives it to the octopus, which plays an amazing solo. Just then a Scotsman walks into the bar with a set of bagpipes. The octopus grabs the instrument and wrestles around with it on the ground, flailing about, making a horrible sound. The bartender says, "Hey, looks like he can't play that!" and the octopus says, "Play it? As soon as I get it's pajamas off, I'm gonna fuck it!"
I like George Floyd's new song. It is really breathtaking.
I bought a guh on the weekend.
(what's a guh?)
GUHZZLE DEEZ NUTS! 🥜 🔩 🌰
John Lennon: "What a nice view."
John walked outside.
He got shot.
:skull:
I saw my wife at the dam yesterday. Drat. I was hoping she might float a bit more downstream.
Why was the orphan single? Because it could not call someone "daddy".
I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears, people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He just stares them down and gets the information he wants.
What’s a peedophile’s favorite shoes? White vans.
Why did the Star Wars movies come out in the sequence 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3? -- Because Yoda was in charge of the sequence.
Abortion isn't murder, it's just canceling a pre-order.
What is the difference between climate change and the greenhouse effect, once a philosopher, twice a sodomite?
what do you call a drunken sailer?
arrested.
Halloween! The day nobody questions the bodies dangling in your tree!
Person 1: You are the dumbest person in the class.
Person 2: Well, you're the second. Maybe, but at least I'm not the dumbest.
Person 2: I know how to fix that!
... Next day person commits suicide...