Worst Jokes Ever
What is a Mexican’s favorite band?
Twenty Juan Pilots.
Q: How do you make a pool table laugh?
A: Tickle its balls.
What's the difference between yes and no...
Nothing.
My dad died the other day, but I was able to hear his last words: "Son, are you still holding the ladder?"
Losing weight is a piece of cake. Just don't pick it up.
*Watches sad movie with family*
Everyone else: *Crying*
Sister: How aren't you crying?
Me: I have no tears left to cry...
Why do orphans cry at insurance places?
They got offered the family plan.
Cops go to the hood when the shooting range is closed.
When I die, can someone play "Best Day Ever" during my funeral?
I usually don’t make school shooting jokes.
Because they’re aimed at a younger audience.
What was the last thing to go through JFK's mind?
A bullet.
My hair strainer is hotter than you.
Two cannibals are eating a clown, when one cannibal looks up and asks the other cannibal: "Does he taste funny to you?"
What’s the difference between a man and a margarita?
A margarita hits the spot every time.
What do skeletons hate the most about wind?
Nothing, it goes right through them.
I heard the man who invented Autocorrect died; may he rest in peace.
Satanism is such an ugly word. I prefer the term, "red skin appreciation."
Kid: Mom! You lied to me!
Mom: When?
Kid: You told me that my little brother was an Angel!
Mom: Sooo?
Kid: Then why didn’t he fly when I threw him off the balcony?
Mom: WHAT!!!??!!
Do you have a shovel? Because I'm digging that ass.
Orphan: "I want to kill my parents."
People: "I don't think you have the facilities for that, big man."