Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Priest

4 views ·

A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, "Do you have any last requests?"

"Yes," replies the murderer, "Can you please hold my hand?"

Gun

87 views ·

What's the only time you can do almost whatever you want?

When you have a gun in your hand.

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  • Pregnancy

    112 views ·

    My mother was so sad after my grandpa's death, she went into the bathroom with my uncle, and I could hear their moans of sorrow. She then surprised me later on, saying that she was pregnant.

    Dog

    1 view ·

    What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.

    Wife

    17 views ·

    I said to my pregnant wife, "Push, darling, come on, push harder, dear!" No, she wasn't giving birth; the bloody car would not start.

    Baby

    31 views ·

    What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari?

    I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

    Arsenic

    152 views ·

    A man walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist, "May I have a bottle of arsenic, please?" She is shocked. "Why would you want something like that?" The man calmly tells her, "I want to poison my unfaithful wife and her lover." The pharmacist is now horrified. She said, "I can not possibly give you that. It is completely illegal and I would lose my license and be prosecuted for conspiracy and murder!" At this point the man hands the pharmacist a photo of his unfaithful wife having sex with the pharmacist's husband. She examines it then looks up at him. "Oh. I didn't know you had a prescription."

    Fortnite

    14 views ·

    Fortnite is just like high school. You get off the bus and start shooting everybody.

    Knife

    10 views ·

    When I see lovers' names carved on a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.