Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a 3-sum with a girl with AIDS?
Nut in the butt.
"Sir, we're mining too many useless mineral ores."
Hitler: "Mine less, then."
Grammar Nazi bursts in: "MINE FEWER!"
Hitler looks over: "Yes?"
Why are cats bad storytellers? Because they only have one tail.
Why do orphans love to go to church? Because they have someone to call father.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell them to clap until their parents come home.
What do you do when a woman is choking?
Back up a couple inches.
I should be ashamed of myself for making all these jokes at the expense of the disabled! After all, they can't even stand up for themselves.
Why did little Billy drop his ice cream cone?
Because he got hit by a bus.
Teacher: "People with depression never get anywhere in life."
Student 1: "My mom has depression, but she died."
Student 2: "My sister has depression and she's going to therapy."
Student 3: "My dad has depression, and he's doing REALLY well."
Grandma: Young people your age are married by now, why aren’t you?
Me: Old people your age are dead right now, why aren’t you?
What's the difference between an asshole and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
I told someone some jokes, y'know? "Fruit Ninja," "barcode legs," "French puppet thigh wrings." And she was like saying that's not cool and stuff. So she reported me, and it was like:
The counselor: "So I've heard you've been making sh jokes?" Me: "You say it like it's a bad thing." Her: "It is." Me: "Chill bro, it ain't that deep. Don't worry I'll end it :)"
What's the difference between England and a tea bag? -- The tea bag stays longer in a cup.
When I was a boy, I had a disease that required me to eat dirt three times a day in order to survive... It's a good thing my older brother told me about it.
What do you get when you mix alcohol and literature? -- Tequila Mockingbird.
What's the best thing about fucking twenty-one year olds?
That there's twenty of them hoo hoo hee hooo harr haar dee harr harr
What do you call 4 black guys and 2 white guys?
The Oreo Gang!
What were Steven Hawking's last words?
Error 404 File Not Found.
What's the difference between a wizard who raises the undead and a sexy vampire?
One is a necromancer and the other is a neck romancer.
My girlfriend left me because of my obsession with pasta. -- I'm doing well, but I do get cannelloni.