Worst Jokes Ever
What's the traditional food of Black Jews? - Kosher watermelon...
If a dog made a computer, it would have a mega bite.
What kind of star would go to jail?
A shooting star!
If a white cop had a black dick, would he beat it to death?
Friend: “What's that on your arm?”
Me: “Oh, nothing. Just decided I wanted to cosplay a tiger.”
Why are orphans bad at poker?
They don't know what a full house is.
At a date:
He: "I work with animals every day."
Me: "Oh, how sweet! What do you do?"
He: "I'm a butcher."
I told kids to make a family tree. God, I love working at the orphanages.
What do you call a bear without an ear?
B.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple tree?
Apples get picked.
One day, there were two muffins in an oven. One of the muffins said, "Man, it's hot in here." The other one said, "Oh my god! A talking muffin!!!"
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his wife?
He wiped.
Control tower to Boeing 747, you're clear to land on (said person)'s forehead.
Man: Cow milk is drinkable.
Other man: How do you know that?
Man: *smiles with milk all over mouth*
Other man: John...h-how do you know that!
Help, my ADHD is so bad that not even I can focus in a concentration camp.
You travel to the past into the era where Julius Caesar is still alive. He thinks you may be from the future to bring him good news. He asks you, "How do I die?"
You reply with: "Surrounded by friends."
A limbless criminal has just been identified. Police say the suspect is armed and on the run.
So a woman was paranoid, so she had a dog to check to see if anything was wrong. She would always stick her hand under the bed, and if the dog licked her hand, then she was safe. One night, just before bed, she stuck her hand under the bed. She felt a lick, so she went to bed. In the middle of the night, she needed to go to the bathroom. So, she walked into the bathroom, and on the window, it said: "HUMANS CAN LICK TOO!" Then she was murdered.
I tried writing with a dull pencil the other day, but there was no point.
What’s worse than George Bush doing 9/11? Jeffrey Epstein doing nine Elevens.