Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a blind dinosaur? Do-you-think-he-saurus.
(This is a fucked up pick up line). Are you a building? Because I rate you 9/11.
Boy and girl playing hide and seek... girl: "I found you." Boy: "What gave me away?" Girl: "Ur parents obviously."
I called a Suicide Helpline, but they didn't help me commit suicide.
Tbh they really left me hanging there.
What does the + sign stand for in LGBTQ+?
It’s the premium version of gay.
What's the difference between my dad and a hooker? Hookers come back.
What happened to the fly on the toilet seat?
It got pissed off.
Q: How do you make a 9/11 cocktail? A: Light two Manhattans on fire and then knock them over.
I thought today was going to be a good day when I woke up this morning. But then I got to the store and they said they were out of rope.
If you watch Jaws backwards, it's a heartwarming story about a shark that gives arms and legs to disabled people.
Person 1: You are the dumbest person in the class.
Person 2: Well, you're the second. Maybe, but at least I'm not the dumbest.
Person 2: I know how to fix that!
... Next day person commits suicide...
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They never reach home.
When is a car not a car? When it turns into a driveway. 🥁
So, you're into pronouns? Let me she/them titties.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Well, at least one gets picked.
Why did the orphan go to church?
So he had someone to call a father.
Expectation: "Brr, I’m cold!" "Here brother! I’ll give you my jacket, I don’t want you to be cold!"
Reality: "Brr, I’m cold!" "Well, damn bro, I can’t control the weather."
When you're working in the Twin Towers and your computer connects to the airplane wifi.
Why does Stephen Hawking only do one-liners?
Because he can’t do stand-up.
Did you hear about the cheetah who robbed a bank? He ran away so fast he almost got away with it, but he was spotted.