Worst Jokes Ever
Two men are hunting. One asks: "Did you ever hunt bear?" The other one answers: "No, but one time I went fishing in my shorts."
Why did little Susie fall off the swing?
Because she has no arms or legs.
Knock knock.
"Who's there?"
Not Susie.
I saw a beautiful homeless girl and asked if I could take her out on a date. She politely accepted and enjoyed herself. Soon after, I asked if I could take her home, she smiled and nodded her head. Her smile disappeared when she saw me running away with her cardboard box.
Life is like a box of chocolates... It ends sooner for fat people.
What does Stephen Hawking have in common with a bull? They both charge.
What do you do when you finish a magazine at school? Put another one in and continue!
Why is the rum gone?
My friend threw a soccer ball at a disabled kid.
We all yelled "Rocket league!"
How do you throw a surprise party at the hospital?
Throw a strobe light in the epileptic ward.
Where did Sarah go after the bombing?
Everywhere. 💀
I make science puns, but only periodically.
Seat belts are like the condom for cars.
My boyfriend told me to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.
Why do you have to watch your back at NASA? They want to probe Uranus.
What do you do when life gives you lemons? Slit your wrist and give a lemon a twist. 🙂💊💉
At the bar last night, a woman got her nipple pierced right in front of me.
On a related note, I suck at darts.
If a crippled man told stories about himself, would that be called VeggieTales?
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Because dad never came back with the milk.
What is a cannibal's favorite place to eat?
Five Guys.
Do you know how a dragon is? You don't know who? It's dragging these 2-liter balls across your pathetic face and slamming it into a f*cking dumpster you regret.