Worst Jokes Ever
Did you hear about the new P. Diddy meal in McDonald's? It's a 56-year-old meat inside a 12-year-old bun.
A skeleton goes sky diving. Doesn't come back in one piece.
Three men are traveling through the desert when their single camel dies. They walk for a while, but then it becomes night. Desperate for shelter, they suddenly stumble across a tent, and inside are three beautiful women. The men were not only lost but horny, too, so they begin to have sex with the women. But the tent belongs to a prince, and these three women were his wives, so he is very angry when he arrives an hour later and sees three strangers having sex with his wives. He tells the three men he will chop off their penises as punishment, in some way relating to their job. He asks the first man what his job is:
The guy says, "I'm a fireman."
The prince says, "Then we'll burn your dick off!"
The second guy says, "I'm an employee at the shooting range."
The prince says, "Then we'll shoot your dick off!"
The third guy smiles and says, "I'm a lollipop salesman."
I walked in on my dad fucking my little brother. I don't know what was worse: the fact that he was fucking my brother, or the fact that the abortion clinic let my parents take the fetus home....
What's the difference between a school and an ISIS military base? Don't ask me, I only fly the drone.
Why do people in Alabama like eating sandwiches? They like things in bread.
Well, I'm off to the orphanage to tell "yo mama" jokes.
I asked, "Where are your parents?" and oh god, I love working at an orphanage.
What kind of woman does Bill Cosby like the most?
The “cold and passed out” kind.
Famous last words:
"Don't worry man, it's not even loaded."
At first, I was a boy trapped in a girl's body, then I was born.
What's better than roses on a piano?
Tulips on an organ.
What's the leading cause of pedophilia? Sexy children.
What does it mean when a man has a dodgy past? It means he has skeletons in his closet.
What does it mean when a man likes Lana Del Rey better than Ed Sheeran? It means he has a closet full of women's leather pants (but no women in their dating history).
Three rednecks, Billy, Joe, and John, are talking about their hobbies. They agree on shooting. John says, "I like shooting animals." Joe says, "I like shooting birds." Billy says, "I like shooting cans." Joe and John ask, "What kind of cans, like bear cans, Pepsi cans, or cola cans?" Billy responds, "Africans, Mexicans, Jamaicans, and Asian Americans."
Q. How does a girl from Alabama know when her mom is on the rag?
A. She can taste it on her brother's cock.
You'd think the Catholic Church would be thankful for condoms, less DNA evidence.
I banged a German chick one time. I tried anal and asked her to rate the experience. She kept yelling "9! 9! 9!"
What's so similar between a pregnant 14 year old and the sperm inside her? They're both thinking, "Oh shit, my mum is gonna kill me!"
Man: "Is your body from McDonald's?"
Woman: "Why, because you're loving it?"
Man: "No, because it's fat and greasy."