Worst Jokes Ever
What is the difference between your girlfriend and your sister?
They're both "sweet home Alabama."
What's the difference between an elephant and a feminist?
The feminist is overweight.
I've looked everywhere... I just can't seem to find where I left my will to live.
You're the type of person to play "Girl on Fire" during a funeral.
What do you call an autistic black man with a rifle?
Black ops.
I was thinking of a good accident joke, and I asked my sister. She said, "you."
How is a child molester and Harambe the same? They both get shot for touching little kids.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Jets versus towers, USA lost two.
Once you go Asian, you can solve the equation.
Why shouldn't you buy Russian underpants?
Because Chernobyl fallout.
I asked my rigger buddy if he could tie me up later, he said, "I'm a frayed knot."
"'There is no God.' - Stephen Hawking (2011)
'There is no Stephen Hawking.' - God (2018)"
What did the woman on the beach say to Michael Jackson? Hey, get out of my sun!
What were Stephen Hawking's last words? "System failure."
Confucius say:
"Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day."
Condoms? HA! Those are for pussies!
When does a doctor get mad?
When he runs out of patients!
What would MLK Junior be if he was white?.........Alive.
When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep like my grandpa did, not screaming and shouting like his passengers.
What do you call a candle in armor?
A knight light.