Worst Jokes Ever
I was in the mood for some dark meat, so I called my black friend.
Mom: Wake up!
Me: No, I'm too disappointed and I have a headache...
Mom: Why are you disappointed?
Me: I took 12 random pills and I still woke up...
What do you call a rooster lollipop?
A cock sucker!
When the school shooter says, "Everybody get down!" and the autistic kid thinks it's Simon Says: 🙋♂️🙋♂️🙋♂️
I thought I saw Jojo Siwa... no wait, it's your hairline.
Q: How many dead hookers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Not three. My damn basement is still dark...
I'm so depressed that when I smile my Face ID won't work.
I just finished my fourth round of baby back ribs. For some reason, everyone else at the abortion center is staring at me.
What do you call an orphan if every other orphan gets picked?
Someone: Ugly?
Me: No, trick question, they are still an orphan.
What do you call a cow that's beating his meat? Beef stroganoff!
When 9/11 happened, we changed our airport policies. When school shootings happen, we haven't changed anything since the shooting at Columbine in 1999. And we say we want the children to be safe.
Why doesn't Jesus buy beer?
Hebrews.
My dad coming back.
Q: How many children does it take to shingle a roof?
A: Depends on how thinly you slice them.
We sped up the cycle of life and death, we gave Eric and Dylan a shortcut.
What does a perverted frog say? Rub it.
Why don't witches wear underwear? To get a better grip on their broom.
What do girls and rocks have in common? The flat ones get skipped.
What is red and goes 200 mph? A baby in a blender.
Yo mama so stupid that, when she heard about cookies on the internet, she ate her computer.
Is it okay to call a special ed kid late to class a little tardy?
Today in 3rd grade English, the teacher asked the kids a question, "What turns on when you take your clothes off?"
Little Elsa blushed and screamed, "You can't ask that!"
The English teacher repeats the question and Elsa screams, "I'll tell my parents on you and get you fired!"
Finally, Little Tim raises his hand, "The shower, ma'am."
The English teacher clapped her hands, "Good job, Tim, and as for you Elsa, you do not have the body for that."
When rejected:
That's ok, the 3 other little pigs said no, too.