Worst Jokes Ever
What do the Twin Towers and gender have in common? There used to be two of them, but now it's a sensitive topic.
Osama Spin Laden, dropping beats like the twin towers.
doctor: you need to eat healthy.
me: no.
doctor: the last patient who didn't change their diet after I suggested it died.
me: oh my goodness.
doctor: in a plane crash.
me: that sounds unrelated.
doctor: I'm the one that crashed it. Do not disobey me!
What do you call a gay barbecue?
LGTBBQ.
What does milk and a kid with cancer have in common?
An expiration date.
What do you get if you cross diarrhea with incest?
I don't know.
Neither do I, but it runs in the family.
Trump is going too far.
He deported a printer because it didn't have papers.
A guy stole my car last night. Before dialing 911 I thought, "Fuck it. Let him explain the dead bodies in the trunk."
When me and my friend went to the market, my friend tried to scan my arm, and I asked her what she was doing. She answered, "Oh, I had to buy you so I don't steal you."
There are some sounds that everyone loves... - Shoes on gravel. - Crackling of fire. - The snapping necks of those who think they can disrespect you. - Cats purring.
Despite Michael Jackson’s legal problems while he was alive, McDonald’s is still going to honor his life achievements in the music industry by naming a sandwich after him.
They’re going to call it the McMichael! It’s going to be a fifty year old piece of meat pressed between two eight year old buns.
Why aren't koalas actual bears?
Because they don't meet the koalafications.
What does Michael Jackson ask little boys before going to bed? Are you sleeping?
Your mom is so ugly. When she goes to the dentist, they make her face down.
Why is it illegal to do reverse cowgirl in Alabama? You never turn your back to your family.
How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just sit in the dark and cry.
So, I was going out the door and I see my dwarf neighbor at the bus stop. I ask if he needs a lift. He replies with "fu.. off." So, I zip up my backpack and keep going to work.
Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they actually come back.
Two fish walked into a wall. One said to the other, "Dam!"
There was an illegal alien woman who wanted to be called "undocumented." So, I had "undocumented" sex with her and threatened to have her deported if she reported me for rape. I'd call it even.