Worst Jokes Ever
What starts off fun and ends in bankruptcy?
UNPROTECTED SEX.
What do turtles and lesbians have in common?
They both choke on plastic.
Glory 🕳 equals 👨 👨 👨 👨 👨 bonding.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Insomnia.
You'll fit right in along with Depression and anxiety, you can help keep me awake at night because Depression is struggling with that... Well now I can't cry myself to sleep anymore...
What did the orphan get for Christmas?
Lego figures from his friend, but they ran away too.
If prostitution had a tax-exempt status, and if an adult bookstore had a tax-exempt status because of a glory hole, churches would have to do something else to keep their tax-exempt status to avoid the risk of going out of business.
What do you get when a cow is caught in an earthquake?
You get a milkshake!
When the priest said, "Be gone from this boy, demon!" the demon replied, "And you get out of the boy!"
Q: How many ADHD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Wanna go ride a bike?
An emo kid walked to me holding a rope, and asked: "Do you want to join my family tree?"
What do you call a Mexican under a carpet? Underlay, underlay.
Yo mama's so dumb, when a robber stole her TV, she said, "You forgot the remote!"
Your forehead is so big it gets home before you do.
I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday.
He said it was the most violent book he’s ever read.
My friends say they don’t like my skeleton puns.
I should put a little more backbone into them.
Well, I'm off to the orphanage to tell "yo mama" jokes.
What's the difference between my car and a hooker? I park my car in a garage instead of leaving it on the side of the road.
Ever since I needed a wheelchair, my husband has been so rude. He’s been pushing me around and talking behind my back.
What's the difference between snow men and snow women?
Snow balls.
I parked in a disabled space today...
...and a traffic warden shouted to me, “Oi, what's your disability?” I said “Tourettes! Now fuck off!”