Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a woman with three boobs? Tres leches.
What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig? -- The letter F.
A guy and girl had a sex poem competition.
Guy: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I can put mine in yours, but you can't put yours in mine."
Girl: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I know the length of yours, but you won't know the depth of mine."
Kelly Clarkson and Ian Watkins of the Lostprophets both walk into a bar. The bartender asked, "Hitting on some 2-year-olds today?" It may have been an innocuous question, if it weren't for the fact that the bartender is Chris Hansen.
Did you hear about the blind prostitute?
Well, you gotta hand it to her.
Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking out of the box.
Why did the orphan become a criminal? It wants to be wanted.
A Karen is so stupid, she can't even cross the hairline!
You're like a cloud. When you go away, it's a beautiful day.
Why did the guy's birthday party stink?
Because he was turning farty!
If trees could kill you, they wood.
What starts with the letter M, ends with -arriage and is a man's favorite thing? Miscarriage. That joke never gets old, just like the baby.
"I bought my little sister a trampoline for her birthday, but all she wants to do is sit in her wheelchair and cry."
Girl: I've been an orphan since I was three.
Boy: Knock knock.
Girl: ...Who's there?
Boy: Not your parents!
If I went to Walmart, I would be able to scan my own wrists because they're barcodes too.
What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.
Yo momma is so fat, when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number."
There once was a street named Chuck Norris. They had to change the name because no one crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
What did one copper say to the other? C U.
Why did the baby cross the road? The car seat wasn’t strapped in.