Worst Jokes Ever
What’s the best part about stage four cancer?
There’s no stage five.
Suicidal people are groundbreaking.
Why do people in Alabama like eating sandwiches? They like things in bread.
Friend: Stop with the self harm jokes, they're not funny.
Me: It's not that deep. I'll cut it out.
What does my head and hell have in common?
They both have demons in them.
Do you know a way to really freak out someone that works at a car dealership?
You say, "Tell me if you can hear me," then get in the trunk and start screaming.
Why did the strawberry cry? -- Because his mother was in a jam.
About the guy who gave Stevie Wonder a cheese grater...
He thought it was the most violent book he'd ever read.
Why was ten scared?
Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
What is black and screams?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron.
I went trick or treating this year with friends. Good thing I dressed as a zombie...
no one could tell that it was their blood.
Dream: Speedruns Minecraft.
Technoblade: Speedruns Life.
How do you stop a baby from crawling around in a circle on the floor?
You nail its other hand to the floor.
How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just sit in the dark and cry.
What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk.
Yo mama is so fat that when she walks, she causes earthquakes. She is so big that she has her own zip code and gravity field. She is so heavy that she needs a crane to get out of bed. She is so obese that she can't fit in any clothes, except for a circus tent. She is so large that she blocks the sun and causes eclipses.
Billy: *spits out food*
Mom: BILLY! We swallow what we have in our mouths.
Dad: *looks at mom*
Mom: Shut up.
If you get it, you get it.
Miss Drake, can I go to the bathroom? I need to piss.
"Billy, we don't say piss. We say urinate. Do you understand?"
"Yes, Miss Drake."
"Very well. Now use the word urinate in a sentence."
"Miss Drake, urinate, but if you had any tits you'd be a ten."
What game do emo kids love the most? Hangman.
Why is the Leaning Tower of Pisa leaning? Because it has faster reflexes than the Twin Towers.