Worst Jokes Ever
Max likes his girls like he likes his wine. 7 years old and locked in his basement.
What do you call an Asian telephone?
Ling Ling.
Are you a white van? Because I would love to put children in you.
Why are emo jokes so infamous?
They cut deep.
Life is like a penis, women make it hard.
What did the comedian say when he walked into a bank?
"This is a stand-up."
I joined ISIS to help my self-esteem issues.
Everyone kept telling me, "You’re the bomb!"
You're so scary that even your hairline ran away.
kys
Which animal has the largest chest? A Z-bra.
For all the talk of Donald Trump loving America, most of his lovers are imported from Eastern Europe.
Two homeless alcoholics want to get drunk but don't have enough money for even the cheapest drinks in any bar. So one of them devises a clever plan: he tells his friend, "We should buy a hot-dog sausage with the last of our money and stick it down my pants, then drink a load of drinks. But then when the bill comes, you get down and suck on the hot-dog, and it'll look like you're sucking on my dick. So then we'll get thrown out without paying, and we can just go to another bar and do the same thing again."
His friend agrees, so they buy the hot-dog, stick it down the first dude's pants, go to the bar, and then the second dude begins to suck on the hot-dog as agreed. They are thrown out and hit another four bars this way. In the end, as they lie drunk on the floor in some alleyway, the second guy says, "Well, what a great night. Free beers in five different bars!" The first guy says, "Yeah! Especially since the hot-dog fell out before we even reached the first bar!"
I wish my lawn was emo, because then it would cut itself.
What's the difference between a Catholic hospital and Michael Jackson's Children's Hospital?
No seriously, what is it?
If Canadians speak "English Eh?", do Americans speak "English B?"
How do you get a black kid to stop jumping on your bed? Put velcro on the ceiling.
My dad just found out and told my mom about one of their friends, Chad, who just murdered his wife, Claire. After doing that, he turned the gun on himself and committed suicide right after.
My mom's reply: "Jesus, Chad will do anything to get out of cleaning his mess, won't he?"
How many times can 50 fit into 9?
Get in a van and find out.
How do you light up a football stadium? With a football match.
What is Donald Trump's favorite game?
Fortnite. Because he can build walls for free.