Worst Jokes Ever
What do we want? Racecar noises!
When do we want them? NEOWWWWW!
I see, you guys jokers are SANS-ational!
I told my friend ten puns to see what one made him laugh. No pun in ten did.
A guy walks into a magical forest looking to cut down a tree. The best one he can find is a magical talking tree. He holds his axe up ready to slice and begins to swing when the tree says, "Stop! I'm a magical tree. You can't cut me." "I'm a magical tree!" the man mocks, then as he goes to swing the axe he says, "You may be a magical tree... But you will dialogue!"
What do you think would fall to the ground first, an emo kid or a leaf?
The leaf. The rope would stop the emo kid.
My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer. I'm not too worried, I think she's joking.
One day my mom told me to take out the trash, and I did. The next day, mom asked me, "Where is your sister?" and I said, "A garbage truck took her." Mom started running to try and get the truck before it left.
On a scale of Johnny Depp having an erectile dysfunction to Michael Jackson exposing himself in a child day care center, how hard is it to get into Oxford?
I told a diabetic girl to have sweet dreams...
she died the next morning.
What's the hardest part about being a pedophile?
Fitting in.
Bad cows, bad cows, whatcha gonna moo?!
A man gets kicked out of police camp after writing "Who's that Pokémon?" next to all of the chalk outlines.
You can't be short and depressed because you are compressed.
If you're fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?
I was making sandcastles with my Nan, then my mum came in the room and took away the urn.
Bro, tampons look like sperms, and they go up your coochie.
I called a suicidal hotline in Iraq and they asked me if I could drive a truck.
Why can't a blonde call 911?
She can't find the 11.
A priest, a rapist, a pedophile, and a homosexual walk into a bar.
He orders a drink.
What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg?
Eileen.