Worst Jokes Ever
Why does Spiderman only have 11 months in his calendar?
Because he lost May!
Why does 9/11 only get a day, but Pride gets an entire month?
Because pride is a bigger tragedy.
What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.
I still remember my grandpa's last words; "Is that loaded?"
Did you hear about the 100 centimeter girl?
I’d really like to meter.
I went on a walk last night with a really hot girl. Then she noticed me, and we went for a run.
A man is sitting on a bench at a playground where children are playing. A man named Chris comes up and asks, “Which one is yours?” The man said, “I don’t know, I’m still deciding.”
My cock was in the book of world records...
The librarian told me to take it out.
A fat person with autism is a bit like decent sunscreen... A broad spectrum.
What's the only time you can do almost whatever you want?
When you have a gun in your hand.
Abortion is a really touchy subject for me. On one hand, there's dead babies! But on the other hand, women get a choice.
Why did little Timmy dip the cookie in water?
"Because his dad never brought the milk."
Q: Why did the pervert cross the road?
A: Couldn't get his dick out of the chicken.
Police: Where do you live?
Me: With my parents.
Police: Where do your parents live?
Me: With me.
Police: Where do you all live?
Me: Together.
Police: Where is your house?
Me: Next to my neighbor.
Police: Where is your neighbor’s house?
Me: If I tell you, you won't believe me.
Police: Tell me.
Me: Next to my house.
Why go across the street when you can just go down the hall, lol?
Are your hands feeling heavy? Because I can hold them for you.
The colors red, white, and blue are the colors of freedom. Until they are flashing behind you.
Why are Black people getting stronger?
Because the TVs are getting bigger.
Yo mama so ugly, when I put her next to a naked mole rat, it said "bluetooth connected."
When the orphan got a job as a priest, what was his name?
Father Les.