Worst Jokes Ever
What's 9/11 survivors' least favorite NFL team?
New York Jets.
I was gonna tell a self harm joke, but realized it would cause too much pain.
All these jokes are pen-ful to read.
What's Kobe's favorite song? "It's Going Down" for real.
Chuck Norris and Superman had a bet. The loser had to wear their underwear on their pants.
What do you call an ex eating Taco Bell?
Explosion.
How do fish get to school?
By the octobus.
A deaf couple wants to know when to have sex.
The wife says, "If you want to have sex, squeeze my tits once. If you don't want to have sex, squeeze my tits twice."
The husband says, "OK, if you want to have sex, pull my dick once. If you don't want to have sex, pull my dick 437 times."
A lot of people ask why I only make jokes about Paul Walker and no one else.
Because they didn’t have as big of an impact as him.
I’m not saying my life’s a joke. I’m saying it’s the punchline no one asked for.
Hey, my grandfather was part of WWII. Yeah. He killed Hitler!
I can hear thunder outside, which I find weird since the lightning is on my arm...
What's the hardest thing about being a pedophile?
Just trying to fit in.
What do you call an Indian plane that comes back?
A Boomerang.
"I had a great day today." "Why?" "Because Allison was frustrated at her calculator and started banging it on the side of the table and the teacher screamed, 'Allison how would you like it if I banged you on the table?'"
How do you get an emo out of a tree?
Cut the rope.
My girlfriend called me a "pedophile", and I said, "That's a big word for a 5-year-old."
I think my family is racist.
I brought a black girl home, and my wife went crazy and told me to pack my bags, and my kids were upset.
What did one gay sperm say to the other? "You think we’ll find the egg and all this shit?"
People sometimes ask me why I cut myself. I usually answer that at least I can scan my worth at the supermarket.