Worst Jokes Ever
What is a gun that Africa doesn't have? A water gun.
What show does an orphan hate? Family Feud.
Question: Why did the blonde get excited after finishing a puzzle in 5 months?
Answer: The box said 3-5 years!
Me: Your ugly...
Person: I'm not your mirror...
Me: I never told you to be my mirror :p
A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd-shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders.
As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"
What do turtles and lesbians have in common?
They both choke on plastic.
I had to clean out my spice rack and found everything was too old and had to be thrown out. What a waste of thyme.
What feature does an orphan's phone not have?
A home button.
How to make an orphan's hands hurt: Make them clap their hands till their parents come back.
It's better to cum in the sink than to sink in the cum.
A husband got a message from his neighbor one day. It read, "Hey, I'm sorry I had to tell you like this but I have been doing your wife for months now." The husband went to go grab his gun and shot his wife. He hid the evidence and a few hours later he got another message from his neighbor saying, "Sorry, meant using your wifi."
I stopped a terrorist from killing 100 people on a plane using self-control.
I told a kid in a wheelchair, "Use your nitro boosts!"
Why haven’t any women gone to the moon?
A: It doesn’t need to be cleaned.
Teacher: "You can't be here after school without a parent!"
Orphan: -no response-
What do you call a Chinese man with a camera?
Phill Ming.
Where in hell is Lee Harvey Oswald now when we need him?
Remember what one of my gay friends told me: it's only cannibalism if you swallow.
I went to the store and I saw a kid with fake airpods, and I was going to tell him, "Nice fake airpods," but it was his hearing aids.
I wish my hair was depressed.
Cause then it would cut itself.