Worst Jokes Ever
Did you hear about the guy who got fired for having sex with his clients?
He was a great veterinarian.
Bippity Boppity, I'm gonna shoot you off my property!
What do bicycles and slaves have in common? They both use chains to work.
Why can't two Chinese people have a white kid?
Two wongs don't make a white.
How do you make a builder cry?
Kill his family.
Why couldn't the T-Rex clap?
Because he's dead.
My wife accused me of being a cross-dresser, so I packed up her clothes and left.
I hope you know CPR, because you are taking my breath away!
What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?
They melted him down and turned him into Lego, so kids could play with him for once.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common? Neither of them can see their parents.
My family is like treasure. You need a shovel and a map to find them.
"the floor is lava!"
- everyone, Pompeii 79 A.D.
What's the last thing emos feel before they die? Rope burn.
Why can’t Jesus eat M&Ms? They keep falling through his hands.
What do alcoholics and necrophiliacs have in common?
They both like cracking open a cold one.
What do dark humor and a person with scoliosis have in common?
Both are sick and twisted.
Why is Kanye West's haircut actually years of work by many doctors to piece together skull fragments like a jigsaw puzzle?
Because Kanye once interrupted Chuck Norris on the set of "Walker Texas Ranger."
I have many jokes about unemployed people, but sadly, none of them seemed to have worked.
What is a cannibal's favorite place to eat?
Five Guys.
Why are cats good at video games?
Because they have nine lives!