Worst Jokes Ever
I can explain Superman and Batman movies in one sentence.
Two orphans fighting in the rain.
Somebody told me to cheer up so.... I told him to pass me a rope :)
When you go over a speed bump, but you remember that there are no speed bumps in the school zone.
Son: Mom, what is dark humor?
Mom: Son, do you see that man trying to tie his shoe with no hands?
Son: Mother, you know I'm blind and can't see!!
Mom: Exactly!
My girlfriend told me women are better at multitasking than men. So I told her to sit down and shut up. Guess what...
She couldn't do either!
What's Joe Biden's favorite arcade game?
Space Invaders.
What was Helen Keller's favorite color?
Velcro.
What's the a simulation between a penis and a Rubik's cube?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
What do orphans be on Halloween?
They be themselves.
Stephen Hawking was one of the best scientists ever. Now he's walking up the steps of he... No, he's not walking up the steps of heaven.
Why is a wet pavement like playing music?
If you don't C sharp, you'll B flat.
Which is Ronaldo's favorite son, Matteo or Cristiano Junior?
Neither. His favorite is San Marino, perfect for stat-padding with tap-ins and penalties!
A pedophile lures a group of Houston Girl Scouts with "Hey girls, would you like some candy?" They all agree and follow him to his neighborhood. There he offers them some more candy and they follow him to his house. Once again he offers them candy to go in to his house. In the lounge he offers them candy to go to his room. As he leads them up the stairs one of them pipes up and says "God, I hope we get laid before we get diabetes."
Apparently, describing the beautiful city of Hiroshima as "The bomb" is not okay.
Why's it so hard to come out of the closet? Just open the door!
Me: (pointing up in the air) "Everybody listen up, this is a robbery!"
Girl: "Dude, this is a library."
Me: "Oh." (screwing on a silencer)
What happens if a cookie turns emo?
It becomes a cookie cutter.
Michael Jackson was once a guitar teacher, but he got fired because he fingered a minor.
How do you get a fat girl to bed? Piece of cake.
Sorry for all the jokes, I'll end it.