Worst Jokes Ever
Your forehead's so big, it makes Kanye's ego small.
What is Forrest Gump’s email password?
1forrest1.
What do you call a white girl with a yeast infection? A cracker with cheese.
Why don't orphans get offended by dark humor?
Because it can't hit home.
Have you ever noticed when a woman is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach and say "congrats," but none of them touch the man's penis and say "well done?"
There was a race between Lettuce, a faucet, and Ketchup. The lettuce was a-head, the faucet was still running, and the ketchup was trying to ketchup.
Call me Willma, will my balls fit ya mouth?
Money and my mom are kinda the same thing; they come and leave easily.
Three blonde sisters die and are told by an angel that in order for them to go to heaven they have to pass all 100 steps. But each step has a joke, each joke gets funnier and funnier. And in order to pass them all, you can't laugh at any joke or else you go to hell. The blonde girls accept the offer.
So the angel begins telling them the jokes. One of the girls laughs at the 3rd step. The second blonde laughs halfway there. Finally, the last blonde was at the 100th step. The angel said, "This is the last step. If you laugh you will go straight to hell with your sisters and if you don't you can pass." The blonde agrees and the angel starts to tell the joke, "What do you ca..." Out of nowhere the blonde starts bursting out laughing. "Why are you laughing? I haven't even finished the joke yet!" The blonde replies, "I just got the first joke!"
What is the difference between a comedian and a clown?
A comedian leads Ukraine, and a clown leads America.
I have the best life coach ever, because he taught me to not care. He did it so well that he died last week, and I still don’t care.
What is a government mandate?
When Obama and Biden go out to dinner together.
When I was 14, my mum caught me wanking, and she slapped me across the face. A couple weeks later, my dad caught me having a beer, and he made me drink 40 beers. I just thought, "Well, I'm glad he didn't catch me wanking."
You're so ugly, when you went to the makeup store, it shut down.
What do you get when King Kong steps on Batman and Robin?
Flatman and Ribbon.
What's the best way to remove gum from hair?
Cancer.
Yo mama is so fat, her car has stretch marks.
Q. What do you call a gun that rapes someone?
A. An assault rifle.
Yo mama so fat, when she bought a fur coat a whole species went extinct.
What animal gets easily offended? The chicken; they always get roasted.