Worst Jokes Ever

Chuck Norris can make an omelet from Kinder surprise.

One day, a priest loses his cock (chicken). He goes to the church and says, "Who has seen a cock?" All the women raised their hands. "No, who has seen a cock that is not theirs?" Half the women's hands went up. "No, no, no, who has seen my cock?" All the nuns' hands went up.

What’s the difference between a thief and a pervert?

One will snatch your watch, the other will watch your snatch.

A Chinese couple had a black baby and named him Sum Ting Wong.

When someone has an imaginary friend, you call them weird and crazy.

But when a group of people have an imaginary friend, you call it religion. :)

Yo mama so stupid, she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.

When the priest said, "Be gone from this boy, demon!" the demon replied, "And you get out of the boy!"

Oh, Lois, that was more scary than Michael Jackson without pants in front of a kid!

Why are there no good Indian actors? Because all the good ones are trying to get your bank details over the phone.

The Twin Towers and genders have a lot in common. There used to be two, and now it's just a touchy subject.

Yo mama so fat, when she walked by the TV, I missed three episodes.

What is a pedophile's favorite dating site?

Kinder

You're so skinny, you could travel through a fax!

When someone saw your hairline, they thought it was a Dorito logo.

Why did the bee buzz off?

Because he had to bee somewhere.

My friend was feeling low today, so I went up to her and said, "You know, I would hang in there if I was you, swaying through life." I don't think she likes me now.

Sally threw herself a birthday party, and only one person showed up. Who is it?

The grim reaper.

Why did the skeleton not rob the bank?

He did not have the guts!

What do the initials NOW stand for?

(A.) National Organization For Women

(B.) National Organization of Whores

(C.) All the above

Answer:

Since the initials NOW can stand for anything, the correct answer is all the above.

I am a failure to everyone and decided to attempt a suicide, guess what? I failed.