Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a 90-year-old black man?
Antique farming equipment.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Di.
Di who?
See, easily forgotten.
Why are women so bad at parking?
Because they've been lied to about what 8 inches look like their whole lives.
If I went to Walmart, I would be able to scan my own wrists because they're barcodes too.
Your mom is so fat that when she fell on the sidewalk, nobody laughed, but the sidewalk cracked up.
What objects have the most gravitational force?
A Lambo and a gold digger.
If Stephen Hawking has a heart attack, do you take him to Halfords or A&E?
Dark humor is like food, some just don't get it.
In school, we learned that squirrels stick their nuts in trees. So, just like my uncle Dave...
What happens when Stephen Hawking dies?
The Windows shutdown sound plays.
The closest thing in a depressed person's life is a knife and his/her throat.
My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex on a scale of 1-10.
Last night we tried anal, and she kept shouting “9!”
That's the best I've done so far.
I wondered if becoming a furry could help me escape my crippling depression...
Unfortunately, the veterinarian insisted that he still wasn't going to euthanize me.
Three Europeans come to America. They all get captured by Native Americans, and they want to kill them. But the Europeans beg to have their lives spared.
The Native Americans agreed to not kill them on one condition: The Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it. So the first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass, and he laughs, and the Native Americans kill him.
The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs and the Native American kills him. They both see each other in heaven and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach, and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed, but you had a grape, what happened?"
The second guy says, “Oh yeah, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a pineapple!”
Make this "joke" get 69 comments & 69 likes.
What's the difference between my dad and my stepdad?
My stepdad beat my ass before he left.
It's been raining for days. My wife is totally depressed. She keeps looking through the window. If this keeps up, I'll have to let her in.
I'm going to hang myself in the bathroom at school and put a note telling kids that I'm a piñata.
Why does a woman never set boundaries with a Mexican? Cause they will always cross it.
Look in the mirror. There's a joke for you.