Worst Jokes Ever
Could a parking garage also be called a broom closet?
What is a Mexican's favorite sport?
Cross-country!!!
Why didn't Trump beat Biden?
Because he couldn't trump that bitch!
"I know that everyone is allowed to act stupid once in a while, but you’re really abusing that privilege."
Hear about the restaurant called karma? There is no menu: You get what you deserve.
Surely people would consider putting pedals on wheelchairs so that their arms don't get tired.
An American bully goes up to an English kid and says, "You're ugly!"
And the English kid says, "Well, wanna know why you can't play Jenga?"
"Why?" says the bully.
"Because you haven't got a tower."
Little Johnny was walking down a dirt country road, and he came upon an old farmer leaning against a fence looking sad, shaking his head. He walked up to the old farmer and asked him what's wrong. The old farmer said, "My mule, he just won't do nothing. He don't work anymore, always looking sad, barely eats, just sad." Little Johnny said, "Can I go talk to him?" "Sure," the old farmer said, "he's back in the barn." Little Johnny went back in the barn, saw the mule just sad, and sighing. A few minutes later, Little Johnny came out and said, "Your mule is fixed." The old farmer ran in, and saw the mule laughing, just rolling, and crying laughing. "Thank you, thank you," the old farmer said, and Little Johnny was on his way. Well, a few days later, Little Johnny was walking down the same old dirt road, and came upon the old farmer again, looking sad. "What's the matter?" Little Johnny asked. "It's my mule again. Ever since you talked to him, he won't do nothing, he won't work, just laughing all day. What did you say?" "Can I go in and talk to him again?" Little Johnny asked. "Sure," said the old farmer, "he's back in the barn." Little Johnny went in the barn and a few minutes later came back out. "Your mule is fixed, sir." The old farmer went in and saw the mule crying, crying really hard. The old farmer came running out of the barn, "Hey boy! What did you say to my mule? One day he's sad, then laughing, now he's crying. Just what did you say to my mule?" Little Johnny smiled and answered, "Well, the first time I told him my dick was bigger than his; this time I showed it to him."
What did one fish say to the other?
Keep your mouth shut and you'll never get caught.
I used to have a fear of hurdles.
But I got over it.
"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing, except at a funeral.
What is it called when an orphan takes a selfie?
A family photo.
A couple of cows were smoking a joint and playing cards...
The steaks were pretty high.
Look, I'm innocent. I was just going on vacation in NY, but my co-pilot said: "Hit it with your best shot."
What do orphans like about tattoos? They stick around.
Dark humor is just like food, not everybody gets it.
A man walks into a bar, he gets a concussion.
After 2 months of recovering, the same man rushes head first into the bar. He goes into a coma.
After 2 years, he amazingly wakes up. He then gets in his car and drives into the bar at 70 mph. He dies. Did I mention he was suicidal?
If you eat her out on her period, does that make you Cunt Dracula?
What’s the difference between the way you watch porn and I watch porn?
The windows we look through.
I learned my dad got into a car crash this morning.
And my driver's license got revoked too.