Worst Jokes Ever
Your mum is so bad at cooking, Gordon Ramsey brought back Hitler to show her how to use an oven.
God: “Steven, join us.”
Sees the staircase to Heaven.
Steven: “Ahh, fu-”
What's the difference between my dad and the milk man? The milk man comes back with the goddamn milk.
What is the difference between a microwave and a gay guy?
A microwave doesn’t brown your meat.
So, some ants in a colony go to war. They want some more troops and know that there are ants that went to wars as well. They call them war-ants.
They start barging into homes to search for more war-ants. They barge into a home, and the lady-ant goes, "Hey, why are you here? Can you please leave?" One of the ants replies with, "I'm sorry, but unless you have a war-ant, we have to keep searching your house."
Say what you want against pedophiles, but they slow down in school zones.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump.
What concert costs 45 cents? -- 50 Cent feat. Nickelback.
What happens when a computer thinks it knows better than a human?
Ask Boeing.
Do not be racist; be like Mario. He's an Italian plumber, who was made by the Japanese, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew!
Do you get jealous of your clothes when they hang from the line?
My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.
Go drop-kick an orphan. No one will know, not like his parents would know.
Why are dolphins so smart?
Because within three hours they can train a human to stand at the edge of the pool and feed them fish!
Osama Bin Laden is his name.
Crashing planes is his game.
Is a disabled person who has no arms but has guns armed or not armed?
What's the difference between a hamster and a cigarette?
They're both harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.
I have OCD and ADD, so everything has to be perfect... but not for very long.
Don't worry, Stephen Hawking isn't dead.
They have just got to copy and paste his memory onto a USB.
I’m trying to find out what IDK means. Every time I ask someone, they say, "I don’t know."