Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce "unionized".

Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!

What's worse than Sally in a trash can? Sally in thirteen trash cans.

Who are the world's fastest readers?

The 9/11 suicide jumpers, they went through 110 stories in 5 seconds. Sorry.

Lesbian

Did you hear about the lesbian midget? She probably came out of the cabinet.

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  • The other day, I walked up to someone who looked lost and he had all scraggy clothes on. I said, "Are you an orphan?"

    He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"

    I said, "Your parents, buddy."

    What's the difference between a gay guy and a microwave?

    The microwave doesn't brown the meat.

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  • One day you see a girl climb a pole and ask her, "Why are you climbing that pole?" "Because a boy paid me to." "He did that to see your underwear." "Oh. Ok."

    The next day you see her do the same thing. "Why are you doing the same thing?" "Well, I got him this time. I did not wear underwear."

    Little Johnny went to school and right before class started, he pulled down his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." After that, his teacher told him to put on his pants and go to the office. The principal asked him what he did, so he pulled down his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." Then the principal called his mom. The mom got there and took little Johnny home.

    They got in the car, and his mother asked, "Johnny, what did you do this time?" So Johnny pulled his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." Once they got home, his dad was off work and heard that Johnny was coming home early from school. Once again he asked Johnny what he did. Johnny pulled down his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." After that, his dad was surprised, so his dad pulled down his pants and said, "Big whale, big whale."

    If you were driving when all of a sudden a young kid and an old man run right in front of you, what do you hit?

    The brakes, you sick bastard.

    Why did the Secret Service detain Johnny Depp at the White House?

    Because he was about to kick the cabinet.