Worst Jokes Ever

Q. What's long, hard, and scary when you first see it?

A. Calculus homework.

What does a skeleton put on his roof?

Shin-gulls.

What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user?

Fast food.

If a fly loses its wings, is it now a walk? Wait a minute, I found out a mind blower. So the 🌎 is the 3rd planet from the sun, doesn't that mean all countries are called the 3rd country of 🌎? If I get 10 likes, I'll do one mind-blowing fact daily.

I was always poked and told at weddings your next...

So I went to funerals and poked them and said your next.....

"Dad, how do stars die?" -- "Usually an overdose."

Want to know how you make any salad into a caesar salad? Stab it twenty-three times.

What's the difference between a grenade and your wife? There's none. Take out the ring and half of the house is gone.

Your mom is so ugly. When she goes to the dentist, they make her face down.

Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.

I went to my boss's funeral and knelt down to his coffin and whispered, "Whose late now?"

Best friend: Dude, your sister is hot, I'd hit that.

Me: Already did. SWEET HOME ALABAMA

What did me and my uncle call hide and seek? Naked and afraid.

What do you call a Chinese millionaire?

Cha ching.

What is Jeffrey Dahmer's favorite song?

"Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes."

I asked my North Korean friend, "what's it like to live in North Korea?" He responded, "can't complain."

What is a physicist's favorite food?

Fission chips.

When you're a terrorist and you have a stutter.

A a a a a a a a ala ala ala ala ala alaog alaogbar.

What do Rihanna and a DJ have in common?

They know how to get a beat down.

My thighs have a different texture pack than the rest of me.