Worst Jokes Ever
How do you pet a psychopath's cat?
You get it out of the microwave.
Why doesnโt Joe Biden visit children with cancer in hospitals?
Because he canโt sniff their hair.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
There was a power outage.
We need more women in the military! They can bleed for weeks and still not die!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It didn't, I hit it with my car 3 blocks down.
Q: Do you know why people don't like abortion jokes?
A: Because they leave people with a feeling of emptiness inside.
Name an ant which is very heavy?
Eleph-ant.
Why did the pen stop writing?
'Cause the pen wasn't very dependable.
How do you know when a football player has been to jail?
When he goes in a tight end and comes out a wide receiver.
Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is the bartender here?"
You know what relationships and life? They both come to an end.
Gas is expensive nowadays.
In the 1940s, they got it for free.
He turns, he shoots!
And that is a horrible end to the Grand National...
Susie was in her mother's room one night, as her mother was getting ready for bed. She had slipped off her blouse; her boobs, plum and perky. Susie had asked what are those and will I get them? Her mother had said they were boobs and she would grow some in a few years. Her mother told Susie to find her father and say goodnight.
So Susie left, headed down the hall to the bathroom where her father was showering. Susie knocked on the door, he said come in. He had moved the shower curtain over just a bit. Susie said she loved him, and then seen her father's dick. Shocked, Susie asked her father what that was and if she would get one. Her father said it was a dick, and he said Susie would get it after her mother went to bed.
I was in math class, and we were learning geometry. My teacher said, "PENTAGON!" then all of a sudden, PENALDO burst into the room! He thought we were talking about PENS, so he came looking for some because he's a finished pen merchant! Shame on you, Penaldo, for ruining my education! ๐คฌ
I guess you could say Stephen Hawking is a dead meme.
"Would you like to play the rape game?"
"No wtf" she replied.
"That's the spirit!"
What is the difference between an orphan and a criminal?
Criminals are wanted.
Why did the tornado take a break?
Because it ran out of wind! ๐
what's the difference between a feminist and a knife?
one has a point.