Worst Jokes Ever
I was playing Mortal Kombat with my friend when he picked the fighter Pristiano Penaldo. I won and the voice didn't say "Finish him," so I couldn't do a fatality.
I was confused, but I understood that the game didn't let me finish him because he is already finished.
What is Bill Cosby's favorite poem? Roses are red, my cum is blue, I'll wait till your asleep to rape you.
A vampire goes to the bakery.
Vampire: "One bun, please."
Baker: "But you're a vampire, don't you need blood?"
Vampire: "Yes, there is an accident outside and I need something to dip."
Government Briefing:
Joe Biden had a meeting with the cabinet today...
...He also spoke to the bookcase and argued with the desk.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
I got them red Gucci bracelets.
Q: You want to know why I don’t make jokes about 9/11?
A: They tend to crash and burn.
An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
When I’m bored, I text a random number, “I hid the body... now what?”
Why can’t a kid with ADHD shoot a gun?
Because their focus is way off.
Roses are red, violets are blue, you have a big forehead, and your hairline recedes too.
What do you call a smart person in America?
A tourist.
I called a suicide hotline in Iraq. They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
Q: What do you get when you cross Viagra and Donald Trump?
A: Erection fraud. (Just a joke.)
9 out of 10 doctors recommend for children to drink water instead of soda. That 1 doctor lives in Flint, Michigan.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a bulb?
None, because they all cry in the dark.
What do you call a flat emo?
A chopping block🖤
The average French car has 7 gears, 6 of which are in reverse mode just in case the Germans come back.
I have the heart of my mom, the face of my dad, the eyes of my grandpa, the ears of my grandma, and the hair of my uncle. We don't look anything alike; I just collect body parts.
What do you call Mexicans in a band trying to be a white band?
"Juan Direction."