Worst Jokes Ever
Today, I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the residents if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face.
My parents are the worst.
A man was mowing his lawn when blue and red stuff came out instead of grass. Next thing he knew, a smurf was on his shoulder asking if he鈥檚 seen his friend.
What does Michael Jackson do with his meat? "Just beat it". His song btw lol.
Why was the snowman smiling?
Because he saw the snow blower coming down the street.
I refuse to believe my dad got fired as a road worker for theft. But when I came home, there were signs everywhere.
Why is the leaning tower of pizza leaning? 'Cuz it had better reflexes than the twin towers.
An orphan? We no jokes.
Jokeless orphan since they were always stacked on jokes.
What is the difference between the Twin Towers and Elton John?
Elton John is still standing.
What's got 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet?
The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
Sunday was a sad day, but yesterday was a sadder day.
Why doesn't my egg want to crack?
Because I hate my egg-sistence.
What's red and really bad for your teeth? A brick.
What do you call someone with a pindie spot?
Stop screen recording.
"I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying."
- Charlie Chaplin
Did you know that a majority of the U.S. is afraid of the dark?
Especially if they are right behind you at the ATM.
Jake Paul
Teacher: Kids, what does a chicken give you?
Students: Eggs.
Teacher: Very good. Now, what does the pig give you?
Kids: Bacon.
Teacher: Excellent. Now, what does the fat cow give you?
Kids: Homework.
What did the skeleton say to the other? "Wow, that song, 'Spooky Scary Skeletons,' really does send chills down my spine!"
What is brown and sticky?
A stick.
More expresso, less depresso. Jk, let's all drink bleach cuz life is a bitch.