Worst Jokes Ever
How do you make an octopus laugh?
You give it ten tickles.
Technically, suicide is murder, and murder is illegal, so if I kill myself, my body should go to jail.
Why did the twin towers complain to the pizza restaurant?... Because they ordered pepperoni pizza and got plain.
Why did the transgender girl want to be a boy?
Because momma never raised no pussy.
How many gays does it take to put in a light bulb?
Only one... but it takes the entire Emergency Room to get it out.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have no one they can call "daddy."
A few kids were talking about how big their houses were. Kids were pointing to huge houses and huge apartments. One little boy said, "Bet I have the biggest home." To everyone's surprise, he pointed right towards the massive orphanage.
Why do self-harmers "draw" on their arms?
Because everything they do is in vein.
Punchline: "Vain" sounds similar to "Vein".
My girlfriend said onions were the only foods that make you cry.
Until I threw a watermelon in her face.
My mom thinks I need to stop objectifying women. I think she is overreacting.
She asked why I broke up with the last girl, and I said,
"It didn't work out."
She told me to be more specific, so I said,
"I just told you, she didn't exercise."
Do you know why I wish grass was emo? So it can cut itself.
How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Only Juan.
An emo tried to give me a high five...
I left him hanging.
An Indian guy and an American guy in a wheelchair met in a bar for drinks.
The American guy got drunk and fell on the sidewalk.
The Indian guy got drunk and walked away.
What did the cop say after he shot the ginger?
"I guess orange is the new black."
Why did the chicken cross the road?
He was just feeling like he needed a break, you know? Life is hard when you're a rooster looking after your hen and chicks. He just wanted a sense of normality, walking out of the farm. He felt light-headed, staring into the distance. Then, at this very moment, he realised it was his darkest hour.
Join us for more of the story, after the break!
What is purple and whines when it’s squished?
A bunch of grapes! 🍇😂
Chuck Norris uses elevators only in case of fire.
What did the Queen Bee say to the other bees? "Beehive yourselves!"
Are you a keyboard? Cause you're my type.