Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a fish with no eye?
Fsh.
Me: I kiss my mom on the lips.
Friend: Uh, I guess that's somewhat nor-
Me: Lower lips.
Friend: I gotta go.
I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
Why did Tyrone drop his ice cream cone?
A: He got shot.
What is a pirate's favorite letter?
A letter from his family; he hadn't seen them in years.
Michael Jackson died of shock when he found out Boys II Men wasn't a delivery service.
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
What is it called if you give 100 disabled people guns?
Special Forces.
What do you call a whore with a runny nose?
...Full!
Elmo, stop penetrating the orphan!
I tried to warn my son about playing Russian roulette. It went in one ear and out the other.
Why do Roman Catholics always call their minister father?
because Roman Catholic men between 18-29 years old received a free anonymous blowjob inside the confessional booth at the glory hole.
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just arrest the lightbulb for being broke and beat the room for being black.
A man is consoling his nine-year-old daughter after she had been sexually assaulted.
"You need to be more careful," he said as he wrapped his arm around her, "this time it was me, next time it could be a total stranger."
"When is the best time to commit suicide?"
Ate a Glock in the morning.
Chuck Norris doesn't need to be vaccinated. Vaccines need to be Chuck Norrised.
"Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled. "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella.
I'm just here to say that I don't approve of political jokes.
I've seen too many of them get elected.
What do strippers and peanut butter have in common? They both spread for bread.
What does a cannibal call people in water?
Sea food.