Worst Jokes Ever
The Toaster: The best bath bomb!
Did you know the people in the twin towers were great readers?
Yeah, they went through 80 stories in seconds.
Friend: "You are so ugly." Me: "You can't be talking, you give Freddy Krueger nightmares."
what's the difference between my hand and my blade? my hand isn't sharp.
After getting in the White House, D. Trump gets a letter...
...from the Iranian president. He opens it and to his surprise there is a paper with a weird looking code on it:
370HSSV 0773H
All confused, Trump contacts the FBI and forwards the letter to them in hope they can figure out the meaning, but they weren't able to. Trump gets angry and sends the letter to both the CIA and NSA, and they also fail to figure out the meaning of the letter.
One of the agents suggests Trump ask for MI6's help, so he does and few minutes after a British agent sends a fax to his secretary:
"Tell your president he was holding the letter upside down."
I don't always roll a joint, but when I do, it's my ankle.
Dear Autocorrect, I never wanted to spell the word "bigger".
joe: Are your mom and dad nice?
zozo: Well, they were until I murdered them over a bottle of Pringles.
joe: Oh, so you are an orphan and a murderer.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a drug dealer?
The prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again.
My dad still hasn’t come back with the milk. Now we are stuck eating dry cereal.
Why don’t oranges 🍊 go around blind?
Because they take Vitamin See!
What’s ten feet long and bald?
The conga line in the cancer ward.
Help, my ADHD is so bad that not even I can focus in a concentration camp.
Roses are red, violets are blue. If you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.
Why wasn’t the moon hungry?
Because it was full!
Your forehead is so huge, you don't have dreams, you have movies. Follow me on Instagram: _zer0x3.
Chuck Norris has been to Mars... that's why there are no signs of life there.
They said I was depressed, I should make an effort to do what I love.
I had to pay a hooker for twelve hours work.
... I felt nothing, but it was nice, being with someone who felt the same.
What's Al Qaeda's favorite football team?
New York Jets.
What do you do when you finish a magazine at the hospital?
You reload and keep shooting.