Worst Jokes Ever
What do ghosts put on their bagels 🥯?
Scream Cheese 😱.
My girlfriend's dog died, so I got her a new one in replacement, and she went off on me and yelled,
"What am I supposed to do with 2 dead dogs in my house?!"
What is an Iraqi kid's favorite game?
Minesweeper.
How did the orphan become famous? They said, "Go big or go home."
What do you call a retreat in war?
A backup plan.
What’s the difference between a doctor and a pedophile?
The doctor doesn’t enjoy giving physicals.
In his dream, some people gave the Hodja nine gold coins, but Hodja wanted ten. So he refused them. Suddenly, he awoke and saw that his hands were empty. So, he quickly closed his eyes again and said, "It's okay, I'll take the nine coins."
My favorite quote will always be, "Sketchy candy is better than no candy."
- One of the thousands of missing children.
I forgot the joke.
I encountered a milf at a bar last night. Although she is 57 years old, she is still very charming and sexy.
We were drinking, chatting, laughing, and having a good time.
Then, she asked me flirtatiously,
"Have you ever tried a mother-daughter threesome before?"
I said, "Nope, not yet."
She drank a little more, and said, "Well, darling, tonight is your lucky night."
So she took me to her place.
She took out her keys, opens her door, turns on the light, and she yells towards upstairs,
"Mom, are you still awake?"
Damn bro, are you Gold, Titanium, Sulfur, Titanium, and Carbon?
Cuz you be lookin AuTiSTiC.
How do you get four prostitutes on one chair?
You turn it upside down.
Feel my shirt...it's boyfriend material.
I was out to dinner with my 19 year old girlfriend. I, being 47, had many people shouting at me and calling me a creep.
It really ruined our 10th anniversary.
Why did the orphan commit mass murder?
To be on top of the wanted list.
Science can fly you to the moon, but religion flies you into skyscrapers.
Friends: "You wanna hang with us?"
Me: "No, I wanna hang myself."
You learn from the best.
God said, "Let there be light." Chuck Norris said, "You have to say please first."
you.
Why are Republicans supporting giving felons the right to vote?
Because their own personal jeebus is a felon!