Worst Jokes Ever
I lost at Kahoot, so I had to ka-shoot.
"Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?"
"To the morgue."
"But I'm not dead yet!"
"But we're not there yet."
First of all, if a woman sues Bill Cosby for drugging and rape 50 years ago, and she could still remember it, it couldn't have been all bad.
A feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships.
Apparently, "in HD" wasn't a good answer.
What do you do when you see a sad orphan?
Nothing, let them wait for their parents.
A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat. He is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with, "What do you mean? I already did it." Then the police ran back to the school to apprehend the other people he was planning it with. The cops busted in through the doors, which caused a smoke trap to go off, which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear, the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles, 4 per pole. Back at the station, holding the kid being apprehended, the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said, "Aww, it pays to be lazy!"
What’s a sheep’s favorite fruit?
A baaaaaaaanaaaaaana!
Stephen Hawking must have got a MacBook Pro. End of battery.
My grandfather was there when the Titanic sank. He shouted 3 times that it was gonna sink until they finally kicked him out of the movie theater... haha
Where do people with no legs go to have fun?
Legnoland.
If you watch "Jaws" backward, it will be a heartwarming story about a shark who gives arms and legs to disabled people.
A man hit a woman with his car, who is wrong?
The man, because you can’t drive into the kitchen.
My arms are just a different texture pack compared to my body.
What are kidnappers' favorite shoes? White vans.
What 3 words started Jeffery Dahmer's cannibalism?
"This isn't ketchup."
It's not rape if she doesn't say no.
Two options: - Chloroform. - Duct Tape.
A guy walks into a bar and sees a 1-foot piano player over by the door. He goes over to the bartender, orders a beer, and says, “Man, how’d you get such a short piano player?” The bartender says in response, “There’s a genie in the back of the bar.” The man finishes his beer and runs to the back, looking for the genie. He finds it and says, “I wish for a million bucks.” Suddenly, a million ducks fly out of the bar. The customer looks confused and goes back to the bartender and says, “What just happened?” The bartender replies, “The genie is half deaf, do you really think I’d ask for a 12-inch pianist?”
Why did the orphan try to get hurt?
Because then they would get surrounded with people who care about him.
He looks around, no one is there.
"Boom, quick; you have five seconds to give me three reasons to live." "1......2......3 .....4....5..." Did you notice you said nothing at all?
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite meal?
His shoulder.