Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the United Nations stop the french government from using the guillotine in public?
because the french government was using the guillotine in public on newborn baby boys for circumcision.
The judge asked me, "How does 5 to 10 years sound?"
I said, "Sexy."
Because of all the rampant inbreeding in America, it's not a surprise that Hollywood had to poach models, comedians, and actors from Canada and Australia.
"When is the best time to commit suicide?"
Ate a Glock in the morning.
I like my men like I like my whiskey: Irish and put in a barrel for 2 years with barely any oxygen.
What are some other names for rape? There’s the classic “struggle snuggle,” but then there’s my personal favorite “fuck fight”.
A boy breaks a vase, and his mom says it's ok, honey, mistakes happen. How do you think you were born?
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you."
What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gang rape.
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.
Me: Can I get your mom's number?
Friend: Here you go:
Me: Ohh, strange, I already had it.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Stop.
Stop who?
Stop posting stupid orphan jokes that have been posted on this site 10 times before!
Today was a bad day. First, my ex got hit by a bus. Then I lost my job as a bus driver.
Sometimes I get jealous when I see a gravestone.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo? Head 'n Shoulders.
I have sex daily, I mean dyslexia, fuck!
Three vampires walk into a bar. The first one orders a Bloody Mary. The second orders a Bloody Mary. The bartender turns to the third and asks, “A Bloody Mary?”
The vampire shakes his head. “Hot water for me.”
“Hot water?”
“I found a tampon out back and want to make tea.”
I made a website for orphans, but sadly it didn’t have a home page.
Why can’t Jesus eat M&Ms? They keep falling through his hands.
I entered 10 puns into a pun contest, hoping one would win, but no pun in ten did.