Worst Jokes Ever
The police department made a new machine that will teleport you back to prison if you commit a crime. The police release 4 criminals: a hacker, a rapist, a serial killer, and a drug lord. The hacker tries to hack a bank. The hacker gets teleported back to prison. The drug lord tries to cook meth. The drug lord gets teleported back to prison. Now the serial killer decides that she wants to change, but when she sees a knife she just can’t help it. She bends down to pick up the knife and the rapist gets teleported back to prison.
Person 1: You are the dumbest person in the class.
Person 2: Well, you're the second. Maybe, but at least I'm not the dumbest.
Person 2: I know how to fix that!
... Next day person commits suicide...
Why does JD Vance not need a conviction?
His running mate has 34 of them!
When you forget the pinata at the birthday party. The kids: "Aww man." But the emo kid just hung himself. Kids: "Yaaaaayyy." Parents: "Adjust, improvise, overcome, that is the way."
When you accidentally wipe a little too hard and your finger goes up your bumhole, triggering flashbacks of when you were 10 and your uncle stayed a few weeks. 😂
I don't struggle with depression, I'm used to it.
Buy KFC = 1 more orphan in our fryers.
What do vacuums and your mom have in common?
They both suck.
You can't be short and depressed because you are compressed.
Why do orphans love boomerangs?
Because they come back.
What movie do all orphans find relatable?
Spiderman: No Way Home.
I make suicidal jokes because I am a suicidal joke. And now for my closing act at the end of the rope.
What do skeletons say before they begin dining?
Bone-appetit!
I once got in trouble in the library for putting the women's right book in the fantasy section.
Suicide isn't a joke. It's called "parkour gone wrong."
Jake Paul
How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two; 1 to screw it in, and the other to suck my dick.
Shit! My neighborhood barber just got arrested for selling drugs! I've been his customer for 4 years, but I had no idea he was a barber.
What do you call a teenage boy who doesn’t masturbate?
A liar.
A penis has a sad life.
His hair is a mess.
His family is nuts.
His neighbor is an asshole.
His best friend is a pussy.
And his owner beats him.