Worst Jokes Ever
What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.
What happens when a computer thinks it knows better than a human?
Ask Boeing.
What do the movies The 6th Sense and Titanic have in common?
Icy dead people.
The average human male walks for five miles, but the gas station is ten miles away. So why does it take fifteen years for my dad to buy cigarettes?
I was reading the news and read that a kid killed his family, and when they interviewed him, he said he wanted to become Batman.
Why does Santa have three gardens?
So he can Hoe Hoe Hoe!
You're so ugly the whole world faked a virus just so you could wear a mask.
Yo mama so fat, she blocked my internet connection.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.
What's so great about dead baby jokes? They never get old.
The lines on the pride flag look pretty straight to me!
Michael Jackson was on a boat with a bunch of children. The boat captain comes up to him and says, "Michael, we've come into some trouble and the boat is about to sink. We need to get off the boat right now." "But what about the children?" The captain said, "F*** them." Michael Jackson responded, "Is there enough time?"
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One screams when you put it in a blender, and the other one is a cooperative little fruit.
Americans won't have a Thanksgiving Dinner this year. Why not? They sent their turkey to the White House.
Last night in bed, I was gazing up at the stars and was thinking to myself, "Where the f*ck is my roof?"
- Yo mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow dress, people yell "Taxi!"
- Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to climb Mountain Dew.
- Yo mama is so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.
- Yo mama is so old, she knew Burger King when he was still a prince.
- Yo mama is so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention.
Three men are outside Heaven's gates waiting to go through Heaven. The angel at the gate tells them, "Depending on the length of time and your faithfulness to your last partner decides your way across the bridge to Heaven."
The first guy says, "I was with my wife for 5 years and cheated 3 times." The angel gives him an old model pick up. The second guy says, "11 years and only once," and is granted a Mercedes.
The last man says, "20 years and not once. I loved her with all my heart," and with the angel impressed, he gets a gold edition Lamborghini and sets off ahead of the other two men. Hours later, the two men catch up to him crying behind the wheel and one says, "I know we are dead, but it could be much worse."
The guy looks up and says, "How! I just went past my wife on a skateboard!"
What do sex and food have in common?
My sister makes it better than my cousin.
Good night, sleep tight, wake up bright in the morning light, to do what's right, with all your might.
Why do orphan girls love pedophiles? Because they get to call someone “Daddy”!
Three guys are stranded with cannibals on an island. The cannibals said, "Each one of you come back with 10 pieces of fruit and shove them up your butt showing no emotion." The first guy came back with 10 apples, and by the second one, he started to grunt, so he was killed and eaten.
The second one came back with cherries, and when he went to put the 10th one in, he started to laugh, so he was killed and eaten. The two guys met in heaven, and the first guy said, "Dude, you were so close. What happened?" The second one said, "I would have made it, but I saw the third guy come back with 10 pineapples!!" 😝😝🤣🤣