Worst Jokes Ever
What’s a Mexican's favorite game?
Borderlands.
Yo mama so fat she broke the stairway to heaven...
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on outings.
I was talking to this absolutely gorgeous woman, and I asked her, “What do you do?” And she said, “I’m a brain surgeon.” And I don’t know if this makes me sexist or not, but I was really impressed.
Most women can’t pull off sarcasm.
I bet China can be the best baseball team. They took out the entire world with just a bat.
What's the difference between my dad and cancer?
My dad didn't beat cancer.
What gang was Stephen Hawking in? The Crips.
What's a Latino's favorite sport? Lacrosse.
What is Africa's most famous sport?
The Hunger Games.
Why are gay people bad at hide and seek?
Because they're always coming out of the closet.
I bought a wooden whistle. But it wooden whistle. So I bought a steel whistle. But it steel wooden whistle. So I bought a lead whistle. But it steel wooden lead me whistle. So I bought an iron whistle. But ironically it steel wooden lead me whistle.
What happened when the semicolon broke grammar laws?
It was given two consecutive sentences.
What do you call two female lovers spying on the government?
Lesbionage.
How did I escape from Iraq, Iran?
WARNING OFFENSIVE: What is the difference between a redhead and a brick? ... A brick gets laid.
What do gay people and mice have in common?
They both hate pussy cats!
Why can't Michael Jackson go within 500m of a school zone?
Because he's dead.
What does a relationship and suicide have in common?
I always fail on committing.
Why can’t Indian women drive?
They’re too used to riding their camels.
I have a short TRUE story of how I found out my brother was gay and did "it" with his best friend.
When my brother was 12-13 years old, he fucked his best friend and I saw it. I was like 4-5 years old, UNDERSTANDING what "it" stood for at the time. All I heard was "ahh" and "mmm". The only thing that traumatized me the most was when my brother moaned "daddy". I was so traumatized that I told my mother about it, she rolled her eyes and said, "He's probably playing a game with Evan". BULLSHIT... NO YOU DUMBASS. He was playing the game "SEX", more like "GAY SEX".
I even told my father and he said, "I don't understand what you're trying to say". I told him DIRECTLY that I heard my brother say "daddy" to his damn best friend!
I actually got so curious, I opened the door and saw them doing "69". I was blank white after I saw it. I will NEVER forget that he did "it" with his own best friend.. NEVER forget about it.
(just a btw, I still have the image stuck in my head and never forget how YOUNG he was..)
(He ain't no virgin anymore I guess lmfao.)
(MORE STORIES COMING SOON =D)