Worst Jokes Ever
*Watches sad movie with family*
Everyone else: *Crying*
Sister: How aren't you crying?
Me: I have no tears left to cry...
How much does it cost a pirate to pierce his ears?
A buccaneer.
How do you start a rave? Throw a flash bang into an epileptic children's ward.
Why are vaginas and the Mariana Trench similar? Lots of seamen go missing there.
Q: How are Asians like a box of chocolates?
A: Either way they'll kill your dog.
John and Chloe are in school arguing about who has the more heroic grandfather.
Chloe says, "My grandfather killed 50 Nazis, he's so heroic!"
John says, "So what? My grandfather KILLED Hitler!"
I remember my grandfather's last words: "Is that loaded?"
Candy is dandy.
But liquor is quicker.
My dad still hasn’t come back with the milk. Now we are stuck eating dry cereal.
I am Michael Jackson, and my pronouns are HeHee.
What do you call a rich white man? Cracker with Cheese!
I ain't shaking anyone's hand, not because of the Coronavirus... I ain't shaking anyone's hand because y'all out of toilet paper!
Is buttcheeks one word?
Or should I spread them?
What did the deaf man say to the blind man before he fell into the well?
Nothing.
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Why can't Chinese people play baseball? Because they ate the bat.
What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
I was going to write a corny joke, but those are a bit too EAR-itating.
If you're going to be a smart ass, you have to be smart, or you're just an ass.
911, what's your emergency?
Me: My grandma just passed out in the living room and I think she's dead.
Well, it's not a living room anymore.
Me: Hangs up.