Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

There are only 363 days in a year for orphans because Mother's Day and Father's Day don't count.

My autistic son hates taking baths or showers.

I don’t blame him, I don’t like soggy vegetables either.

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  • What do you do when you get locked outside your house? You talk to the lock, because communication is key.

    I've always been suicidal. Some might say, "Why haven't I actually done the act?" I'll just say, well, I hate myself too much so I thought I'd stay around for the punishment of staying alive.

    What's the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag?

    The tea bag stays in the cup longer.

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  • A couple is on their first date.

    Man: How do you feel about sex?

    Woman: I like it infrequently.

    Man: I see. Is that one word or two?

    A depressed guy walks into a bar and says, "Can I get shot?"

    The bartender then says, "You mean, can you get a shot, right?"

    The bartender then says, "Well... what drink would you like?"

    The depressed guy then responds with, "No, I really want to get shot."