Worst Jokes Ever
What was the last thought Jesus had before he died?
"Man, I could really use a crowbar right about now."
I don't get why cancer is so hard to beat. I'm already on stage 4.
John Lennon: "What a nice view."
John walked outside.
He got shot.
:skull:
What did the kid without hands get for Christmas? - I don't know, he still didn't open his present...
What's the difference between life and a rape joke?
Life fucks you until you stop breathing, a rape joke fucks you until it's not funny anymore.
You are what happens when women drink during pregnancy.
Guys, we shouldn't make jokes about 9/11. My dad was a victim.
He was the best pilot in Arab.
What do you call a fish with no eye?
Fsh.
What do the twin towers and my ex-girlfriend have in common? They both went down on my dad.
My depressed friend said he wanted to jump off of a bridge but he didn’t wanna commit suicide. I told him if you jump and yell "parkour," it’ll just be a failed stunt.
What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common? They both like fairies sitting on them.
Why do American guns only have 30 rounds in the clip? Because that’s the average class size.
Me having a good day. Going on a walk on a peaceful day.
My depression: hey, what's up!
Me: go away.
My depression: well how rude.
Me: 🙄.
My depression: remember that one time......
Me: no, don't even.
My depression: that we.....
Me: nope.
My depression: *says really fast*: said that one stupid joke that wasn't funny and everybody just stared at you, and then you spilled water all over yourself and it looked like you peed yourself. And you went home and cried yourself to sleep just like you do every single night.
Me: 😳😶😟.
My depression: 😉 don't worry I'll always be here for you.
"Déjà moo": The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
Two priests are pulled over by the police. One priest asks the cop what the reason for pulling them over is. The cop says, "We are looking for two child molesters." The priest look at each other and tell the cop they'll do it.
What did the make-a-wish kid say to the staff? "I don't wanna go to Disneyland, I wanna live longer."
Why does the military recruit orphans?
Because homing missiles don’t target them.
What's better than winning gold at the Paralympics?
Not being retarded.
⚠️I’m not racist it’s just a joke⚠️
What do you call four black ppl in a sleeping bag?
A Kit Kat
I made a website to adopt orphans. But there is no home page.