Worst Jokes Ever
My mother wanted to test my responsibility and wanted me to cook dinner for the family to help me understand how it feels to constantly cook for a whole family. So, me with my horrible humor, decided to make a giant joke for when dinner time came around, and so I just got four plates and set them in front of my family and I then said, "Here you are, a fine African meal." Then everybody looked at me in disappointment, and then I continued to say, "What? Poor taste?"
I got kicked out of the hospital for saying, "Stay Positive," to the corona patients.
What's yellow but can't swim?
A bus full of children.
Boy Scout...
- A kid who dressed like an idiot.
- An idiot who dressed like a kid.
I said to my pregnant wife, "Push, darling, come on, push harder, dear!" No, she wasn't giving birth; the bloody car would not start.
I got into a fight with 1, 3, 5, 7, and 9. The odds were against me.
Your hairline goes so far back even Dora the Explorer couldn’t find it.
I've just started a new business making people breathe in large amounts of helium. They all speak very highly of it.
How do you start a rave?
Throw a flashbang into the epileptic ward of a hospital.
They told me throwing babies was bad, but guess what I did yesterday? I threw my baby cousin down the escalator.
What do you call a flat-chested emo? A cutting board.
Butter believe it.
Sally threw herself a birthday party, and only one person showed up. Who is it?
The grim reaper.
Name something you practiced kissing on as a kid.
Sister. SWEET HOME ALABAMA!
What do you do with epileptic lettuce? -- You make a seizure salad.
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, for instance when you push them down the stairs.
"Doctor, there's a patient on line 1 that says he's invisible."
"Well, tell him I can't see him right now."
I was walking till I saw a kid sitting on the street. I walked over there and said, "Where are your parents?" He cried even more.
Oh, I just love talking to orphans.
Does anyone still look at this? If you do, tell me if I should make more jokes :)
Why are babies called bundles of joy?
When you break the bundle, it gives you joy.