Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Surgery

  • After a surgery, a man claimed he couldn't feel his legs. I replied, "Of course not, I amputated your fucking arms!"

  • 3
  • School shooting

  • *School shooting happens.*

    Foreign exchange student: *Sobbing under desk.*

    American student: "First time?"

    Foreign exchange student: "Yeah, you?"

    American student: "Hahaha. No, not my first time."

  • 1
  • Brother

  • Me and my brother were called the twin towers. My brother lived up to his title after the plane crash.

  • 0
  • Life

  • What's the similarity between a broken pencil and my life?

    They're both pointless.

    Friend

  • My friend Jimmy said his dad is exactly like Santa. I asked, "Why is it because he gives people presents?" Jimmy told me, "No, it's because I hear so many good things about him and how he's gonna come home, but never see him."

  • 5
  • Nun

  • Three nuns are talking, and the first nun says, "You would never believe what I discovered." Intrigued, the others signal her to continue. "I found a phone in the priest's room," said the first nun. "Oh, that's nothing," said the second one. "I found condoms in one of his drawers." said the second one. "What did you do with them?" said the first nun. Pridefully, the second nun responds with, "I poked holes in all of them." and the third nun says, "Oh sh*t...."

  • 11
  • Jack

  • Jack and Jill popped some pills to get a little tipsy.

    Jack got a surprise and bloodshot eyes because Jill gave him a roofie.

  • 0
  • Weed

  • You should never try Afghan weed because people in Afghanistan get stoned to death.

  • 0