Worst Jokes Ever
Me: Hey, are your parents home?
Orphan: (crying) Stop calling here!
What's the difference between a dead baby in a dumpster and a treasure chest? It's a surprise when you find the treasure.
I came home from school one day and told my cat a kid at school said I was an idiot and told me to go kick rocks, so I did, except I kicked him, not the rocks, and I called him the idiot for not moving out of the way.
What do you call an elf that sings? A Wrapper.
There's no smoke or fire without a Muslim.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't make a home run.
How did the hillbilly mother find out her daughter entered puberty? Her son's dick tasted funny.
They say they found water on Mars. Mars 1, Africa 0.
I heard that my crush got kicked in the balls and when I thought of it...
Things I would have missed if my attempt in 2018 worked...
My attempts in 2019, 2020, and 2021!
I've always been suicidal. Some might say, "Why haven't I actually done the act?" I'll just say, well, I hate myself too much so I thought I'd stay around for the punishment of staying alive.
What do Logan Paul, KSI, and the Japanese suicide victim have in common?
Tying.
Why did the silly boy take the Christmas tree to a barber?
Because his mother said it needed to be trimmed.
Why were Abraham Lincoln and John F. Kennedy very wise presidents?
They both had an open mind.
Most states:
"It's ok, it won't be awkward. We're still friends."
Alabama:
"She didn't wanna be my girlfriend anymore. But she said she'll still be my sister."
Q: How do you know when an Asian broke into your house?
A: Your math homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and 2 hours later he's still trying to back out of the driveway.
My suicidal friend said he liked trains, so we took him to the tracks.
Why do people in Alabama like eating sandwiches? They like things in bread.
(just a joke) My grandfather was involved in 9/11. I’ve kept his pilot medals for how good of a pilot he was.
What was Hitler’s favorite sex position?
Sixty nein.