Worst Jokes Ever
There are only 363 days in a year for orphans because Mother's Day and Father's Day don't count.
My autistic son hates taking baths or showers.
I donβt blame him, I donβt like soggy vegetables either.
What do you do when you get locked outside your house? You talk to the lock, because communication is key.
I've always been suicidal. Some might say, "Why haven't I actually done the act?" I'll just say, well, I hate myself too much so I thought I'd stay around for the punishment of staying alive.
Everyone's had a mind-blowing day before, just ask JFK.
America.
Why does Ms. Mushroom π go out with Mr. Mushroom π?
Because heβs a fungi.
I have many jokes about unemployed people, but sadly, none of them seemed to have worked.
What do you call a terrorist in a kids' swimming pool?
A bath bomb.
What's white on top and black on the bottom? Society.
What's the difference between Englandβs football team and a tea bag?
The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
A couple is on their first date.
Man: How do you feel about sex?
Woman: I like it infrequently.
Man: I see. Is that one word or two?
What do you call a cow that's had an abortion?
De-calf-inated.
A depressed guy walks into a bar and says, "Can I get shot?"
The bartender then says, "You mean, can you get a shot, right?"
The bartender then says, "Well... what drink would you like?"
The depressed guy then responds with, "No, I really want to get shot."
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.
What is the richest planet?
Saturn πͺ- It has many rings.
Why do they call my dick section 8?
Because all the hoes are on it.
What's the best comeback for a person calling you an orphan?
Kill their parents.
Me: Mom, I'm tired.
Mom: "Then go to sleep."
Me: No, you don't understand-
He sing, he dance, he he.