Worst Jokes Ever
Q) What do you call Iron Man when he can't swim?
A) Robert Drowney Jr.
What is better than winning the gold medal at the Special Olympics? Having arms and legs.
How to catch Bigfoot: 1. Dig a large pit. 2. Build a fire in the pit and let it burn all the way to ashes. 3. Place small green peas all around the rim of the pit. 4. Hide in the bushes and wait. When Bigfoot goes to take a pea, kick him in the ash hole.
How do you make 7 an even number? Take the "s" out!
Don’t criticize someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.
So, when you criticize them, they won’t be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you’ll have their shoes.
Why do you have to watch your back at NASA? They want to probe Uranus.
Why is Santa's sack so big?
Because he only cums once a year.
What do feminists and dogs share in common? They need to be taken to obedience school.
Why do orphans eat water with their cereal? Because their father never came home with milk.
I saw a sign that said “Watch for children” and I thought, “That sounds like a fair trade.”
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? -- Because they lactose.
Your hairline is so back it looks like Will Smith slapped it.
When the school shooter throws a smoke bomb into the classroom, and the autistic kid thinks it's a dance party.
How do we know that the ocean is friendly? It waves.
My friends were worried that I was making suicide jokes so much, so I said, "Don't worry, you won't have to hear them much longer."
So who did it? the I.S.S. teacher said.
1 hour before:
So let me get...
Random person: Wait, what? You BROKE UP WITH HER!
Me: I SWEAR, JHONNY, THIS IS THE 3RD TIME YOU BUTT INTO MY CONVERSATION! SO... HERE... YOU... GO! *punches*
Yo mama so fat that when I banged her in the jacuzzi, there was a level 8 tsunami.
I have some jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work.
A cock really has a sad life. He's hairs a mess, his neighbor's an arsehole, his best friend is a cunt.
Why was the boy crying?
He had a frog stapled to his face.