Worst Jokes Ever
Father: "That's great, son. Who is she?"
Son: "It's Tina, the neighbor's daughter."
Father: "Ohhh, I wish you hadn't said that. I have to tell you something, son, but you must promise not to tell your mother. Tina is actually your sister."
The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later:
Son: "Daddy, I fell in love again, and she is even hotter!"
Father: "That's great, son. Who is she?"
Son: "It's Peny, the other neighbor's daughter."
Father: "Ohhhh, I wish you hadn't said that. Peny is also your sister."
This went on a couple of times, and the son was so mad, he went straight to his mother crying.
Son: "Mum, I am so mad at Dad! I fell in love with six girls, but I can't date any of them because Daddy is their father!"
The mother hugs him affectionately and says:
"My love, you can date whoever you want. Don't listen to him. He is not your father!"
What's the difference between my dad and cancer? Cancer doesn't leave you.
A child with cancer: "I want to be like you when I grow up." Doctor: "Oh, you're not going to grow up."
What do I call a white person with 15 black kids?
Coach.
How do rappers keep themselves clean?
They drop SOAP BARS.
Mama Mia's pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is our sauce.
What's got 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves! Nah, just kidding... He still hasn't unwrapped his present.
The shovel is a ground breaking invention.
*Slaps and laughs*
Why are cows such great dancers?
They have all the best moooves!
How do trees calculate square roots? They use log-arithms.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Q: What's the hardest thing about losing your virginity?
A: Making sure she doesn't wake up.
How do you trick a Catholic priest into using the glory hole at an adult bookstore? Tell him it is a confessional booth.
When the priest said, "Be gone from this boy, demon!" the demon replied, "And you get out of the boy!"
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to stop the Cold War with a heater.
Why don’t oranges 🍊 go around blind?
Because they take Vitamin See!
Doctor: I've got good news and bad news.
Patient: What's the good news?
Doctor: I've got you flowers.
Patient: Awww, What's the bad news?
Doctor: They're for your grave.
China has a population of a billion people. One billion.
That means even if you’re a one in a million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly like you.
"How is your long distance relationship going?" -- "So far, so good."
Roses are red, don’t touch the toys, these are what the priests use to lure in the boys.