Worst Jokes Ever
What did one iceberg say to the other iceberg as the Titanic went by?
"I'd smash that."
Why was the tower of Pisa leaning?
They had better reflexes than the trading center.
For sale: Dead canary.
Not going cheep.
You know, eBay sucks. I was looking for a lighter, and it gave me 18,906 matches.
What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic? About half way.
Who did Michael Jackson want to be like? The man in the mirror.
I'll always remember my grandpa's last words.
"Are you getting the knife?"
What's the difference between saying "bloody" in America and in the U.K.?
In the U.K., it's a swear word.
In America, it's a family reunion.
I was kicked out of an orphanage kitchen because I yelled, "Hurry up, some of us have homes to get back to."
My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer. I'm not too worried, I think she's joking.
What do you call a depressed emo? Dead.
If you were on the Titanic and you didn't leave the ship, what would you do? Just let that sink in.
Why did the bank robber shoot the man with no arms?
Because he told the man to put his hands up.
In communist Russia there is no discrimination. White, black, African, American, British and Asian. They all go to Gulag eventually.
I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before kicking the bucket: "Hey, wanna see how far I can kick this bucket?"
My family is like an apple tree. My sister is that ugly one that has to rot in.
Why do Indians have a red dot on their head?
Because they're recording.
What is the first thing the disabled download on iTunes?
"They see me rolling, they hatin'."
If you drink, don’t drive. People cause accidents.
If you drink, don’t park. Accidents cause people.
There was a guy who got his entire left side cut off. Don’t worry, he is all right now.