Worst Jokes Ever
Jack and Jill went up the hill to do it in the water. Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.
Man walks into a bar and sees a bear serving drinks... Sits down looking astonished. The bear says, "what's the matter you never saw a bear serving drinks?" The man says, "it's not that, I just never thought the moose would sell the place."
What kind of bee makes milk?
Boo Bees
An old lady was low on money because she had spent all of her money on clothes.
So she decided to go to the bank. She walked up to the guy at the desk. She asked if he could check her balance. He asked a few questions to the old lady, like her weight and her height. He asked her if she had done any exercise recently. She was very confused. She got angry and asked the man again to check her balance. So he stood up, walked next to her and pushed her over. He came to the conclusion that she had a low balance.
Q: What's the difference between an egg and me?
A: An egg gets laid.
Yo mama so stupid, she said, "Where are my gifts?" on Father's Day.
I made a website that helps orphans. Sadly, it doesn't have a homepage.
The Arabian Sea is in which state?
Liquid.
I like turtles.
What are some other names for rape? There’s the classic “struggle snuggle,” but then there’s my personal favorite “fuck fight”.
What do you call a suicide bomber under the water?
Answer: A bath bomb.
What do gay people and mice have in common?
They both hate pussy cats!
I'm worth something, I got a barcode on my arm!
What's a kidnapper's favorite shoes?
White vans.
What’s pink, black and has 17 nipples?
A trash can behind the cancer ward.
What is Jeffrey Dahmer's favorite song?
"Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes."
I got into a fight with 1, 3, 5, 7, and 9. The odds were against me.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RC-XD incoming.
Why do pedophiles go to a nursery?
Early access.
Little Johnny got a train set for Christmas. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says, "Alright, you motherfuckers get off here, and you motherfuckers get off here." His mom comes rushing in and says, "Little Johnny, we don’t use that kind of language, go to your room and think about what you did!"
After a few hours, she lets him out of his room. He goes back to play with his train set. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says, "Okay, you guys get off here, and you guys get off here. And if you have any complaints about the two hour delay, take it up with the bitch in the kitchen."