Worst Jokes Ever
Why are Asian's eyes always squinted?
Nukes are bright.
Whenever I go to bed, my wife disappears, but whenever I turn on the lights at night, she’s back in bed.
What did Michael Jackson say to the kid on his lap? "Just beat it, just beat it."
Joe mama is so fat, Dora can't explore her.
What do you call a skeleton with no friends? Bonely.
How do you spell ihop?
Then spell ihop and say "ness".
How do you make a fruit punch?
You give it a pair of boxing gloves.
How do Asians name their kids?
They throw pots and pans down the stairs. (ching chong dong)
Johnny: Mommy, Mommy! What is incest?
Mom: Shut up and keep licking.
What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common?
They both leave the little kids' room with empty sacks.
Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day.
Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
What's the favorite Spiderman film for orphans?
Homecoming.
People say that they can read people's faces; then how come nobody sees me breaking inside?
Roses are red, violets are blue, I've got a bouquet in my pants for you.
An apple and an emo kid fall off a tree at the same time. Who hits the ground first?
The apple, because the emo kid got caught by the rope.
Why can't the USA and England play chess?
USA has no towers and England has no queen.
Why do orphans use water for their cereal?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
How did the blind Catholic get in a car crash? He asked Jesus to take the wheel.
An ugly, arrogant woman walked into a store with her 2 kids, yelling at them.
The store clerk pleasantly said, "Good morning ma'am and welcome. Nice children, are they twins?"
The ugly woman stopped yelling and said, "Hell no they are not, one is 9 and the other is 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just bloody stupid?"
The clerk replied, "I'm neither blind nor stupid ma'am, I just can't believe someone would screw you twice."
Like this post to give someone you hate bad luck.