Worst Jokes Ever
Q. How does a feminist stop a rapist?
A. By using her equal strength.
What’s green and yellow and eats at your nuts?
Gonorrhea.
I only cut to find out if I'm real or cake.
My fish died, and I didn't do anything. I just took my fish for a walk.
Yo mama so fat, I saw her eat with 3 utensils: A spoon, a knife, and a FORKLIFT.
Ever tried Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.
Why can't Trump go to the White House anymore? Because it's forbidden!
Why can't a blonde call 911?
She can't find the 11.
I cannot moderate myself at all. It's either I don't take my meds, or I take the entire bottle. Decisions, decisions...
What do you call a cow jumping over barbed wire? Utter destruction.
I had problems milking my cow one morning. It was an udder failure.
What is red and tan and spins for about 50 mph?
A baby in a blender.
What happens when Stephen Hawking dies?
The Windows shutdown sound plays.
If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb to the top of your ego then jump to your IQ.
Why do Mexicans always cross the border in twos?
Because the sign says "No Tres passing."
I put someone in a wheelchair into the fire and called him "hot wheels."
Why are Japanese people's eyes so squinted?
Do you know how bright an atomic bomb is?
What do you call a Catholic priest who molests children?
A Catholic priest.
You know some of these jokes took me 9 minutes and 11 seconds to realize. When I did, it hit me like a plane.
My math teacher keeps telling me to find his x. It's kinda creepy.