Worst Jokes Ever
Why can't a blind person eat fish?
They can't see food.
Which bees produce milk?
Boobies.
What’s the speed limit in bed?
It’s 68. Once you hit 69, you have to turn back around.
I was in a library and a black guy came up to me.
"Where's the coloured printer?" he said.
"Mate, it's 2025, you can use any printer you want," I replied.
What do the initials ACLU stand for?
🤔
American Communist Lawyers Union.
So I was being robbed, and this guy had the gun to my head, so I told him he was holding it backwards.
Doctor: I've got good news and bad news.
Patient: What's the good news?
Doctor: I've got you flowers.
Patient: Awww, What's the bad news?
Doctor: They're for your grave.
They say masturbation is better with a dead arm. Apparently, I ruined that funeral.
I went to a sleepover at my best friend's house. He lives with his grandpa and little brother, his mom and dad. His little brother likes to run around the house naked sometimes. I can't help but notice his grandpa always looks up when he does.
When is it acceptable to hit a dwarf?
When he dances with your wife and says her hair smells nice...
What do you call an epileptic kid eating fruits?
A blender.
My dad just found out and told my mom about one of their friends, Chad, who just murdered his wife, Claire. After doing that, he turned the gun on himself and committed suicide right after.
My mom's reply: "Jesus, Chad will do anything to get out of cleaning his mess, won't he?"
Two boys were arguing in class one day when the teacher walked into the classroom.
The teacher asked them, "Why are you arguing?"
One of the boys replied, "We found a ten dollar bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie."
"You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher. "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was."
The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a drug dealer?
The prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again.
What’s the difference between a woman with PMS and a terrorist?
You can negotiate with a terrorist.
Yo, hairline been missing so badly that the police had to put up a wanted poster for it!
Guys, we should stop making jokes about orphans. Their parents will get mad. Oh.... Wait... Continue.
I told my teacher, "I’m failing life." She said, "That’s not on the syllabus."
What does a queen want on her cookie?
Royal Icing.
What's a Mexican's favorite video game?
Borderlands.