Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

So, a daughter asks her father, "Dad, what is your opinion on abortions?" Her father says, "Why don't you ask your sister?" The daughter responds, "But I don't have a sister... Oh."

I came across a dead body in the woods. I liked it so much I came again.

What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story and a Catholic priest?

One goes limp when a child walks in the room.

My friend and I were walking down the street, and we saw this one disabled kid getting bullied by three other kids. Urgently, we sprinted over to help. He had no chance against the five of us.

So, this guy and his wife figure out that she has gotten pregnant. The baby is due March 31st. Well, the guy is at work and he gets a call from his wife. She tells him she is going into labor. He rushes to pick her up, and once he is on the road, he starts speeding. Eventually, he hits another car and swerves off the road into a ditch. He wakes up in the hospital, looks around but doesn’t see his wife. He asks the doctor, "Is my wife okay? She was carrying my child." The doctor said the wife is fine and the baby is in good health. 10 seconds later he goes, "APRIL FOOLS! Your wife is dead and your child has brain damage."

I’m not saying you’re going bald, but you’ll find Waldo before you find your hairline.

What is a glory hole at the adult book store used for?

Campaign contributions to the Republican Party.

I have a question: Does aging affect corpses, too?

Just asking to know if I still count as a pedophile or not!

It's funny that everyone is depressed, like, I mean:

Bullys are depressed.

Nerds are depressed.

Bad girls/boys are depressed.

Kind humans are depressed.