Worst Jokes Ever

What did the orphan ask Santa for? A good family.

My daughter said I could never make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!

bully: "Your life's a joke."

me: "My life's not a joke, jokes have meaning."

Why was 8 afraid of 7?

Because 7 was a 6 offender.

What do you call an emo kid with light up shoes?

A human chandelier.

Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.

Tell someone to look in their shirt and spell attic. Hehe.

Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.

Why do orphans want to become criminals? To know what it feels like to be wanted.

Teacher: What's 3 minus 1? Me: I don't know. Teacher: How about this, you have three cakes, I take one. How many cakes do you have? Me: Three. Teacher: If I take one cake from your three, what do you have? Me: Three cakes and a dead teacher.

What's Juice WRLD's favorite place to shop at?

Answer: Forever 21.

What's Al Qaeda's favorite football team?

New York Jets.

I got sent out of a library for putting a women's rights book in the fiction section.

What do tigers wear in the winter?

A striped sweater.

Why did the sperm cross the road?

Because I put the wrong socks on this morning.

Bad Hitler puns are infuhrerating.

What’s the difference between orphans and blind children?

None. Neither can see their parents.

My wife said I had no sense of direction... so I packed my sh*t and left.

Q: What did Chris Brown say when he first saw Rhianna?

A: I'd hit that.

I showed my girlfriend my shotgun yesterday. It really blew her away.