Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? -- A stick.
What do you call it when everyone of your friends makes too many dumb Covid jokes? A pundemic.
I recently became the coach of an orphanage baseball team.
Because I hate dealing with parents.
Me: Have you ever tried African food?
You: No.
Me: They haven't either.
Why are there no Olympics in Mexico?
Because everyone from Mexico that can run, jump, and swim is already over the border.
I came here to laugh.
What do women and airplanes have in common?
A cockpit.
A guy meets a sex worker in a bar. She says, “This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for £300 as long as you can say it in three words.” The guy replies, “Hey, why not?” He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and lays £300 on the bar, and says slowly, “Paint...my....house.”
I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes.
The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked away with her cardboard box.
What do cannibals call pregnant women? A kinder surprise.
Yo mama so fat, when she sat on Walmart, the prices went down.
Walk up to the quiet kid and tell him to hang in there. Trust me, you won’t regret it.
Why's it so hard to come out of the closet? Just open the door!
What is a pig crossed with a pineapple?
A porkypine!
Girl: Daddy, I've been a bad girl.
Priest: For the last time, it's "Father, I have sinned."
Hi, welcome to Dave's Orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may I help you?
Why do we tell actors to break a leg?
Cause every play has a cast.
Helen Keller picked up a cheese grater, it was the most violent story she'd ever read.
My son, who is into astronomy, asked me how stars die. I said, "Usually from an overdose."
Teacher: What's your favorite animal?
Me: Desert Eagle.
Teacher: Why?
Me: 'Cause it fits in my backpack.