Worst Jokes Ever
What did everyone say about the crazy unemployed homeless man?
He made no cents.
What do you call a redneck on fire?
A fire cracker.
Donald Trump wants to ban the sale of pre-shredded cheese.
He wants to make America grate again.
Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory?
Many soles were lost.
An apple a day can do so much more than keep the doctor away... it can keep ANYONE away.
if you throw it hard enough.
What does B.I.B.L.E. stand for?
Bull Shit In Book Lacking Evidence.
Does it cycle now?
What do women have on an empty stomach? A miscarriage.
What's the difference between a mosquito and a pornstar? One stops sucking when you smack it.
Wow, Heaven's a lot hotter than I thought it'd be.
What kind of star would go to jail?
A shooting star!
The FBI wants to steal my penis. Can I hide it inside you?
I don't like marriage. It's just like soup, as soon as you're done spooning it, it all cools off.
Your hairline and my grandpa go way back.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common: they should both be changed regularly... and for the same reason.
Trump and Biden didn’t get the memo.
A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?" The dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your mother, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her the working class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense."
The little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has soiled his diaper. The little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.
The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."
The little boy replies, "Well, while capitalism is screwing the working class, the government is sound asleep, the people are being ignored and the future is in deep shit."
What do five dicks sticking out of glory holes and five udders both have in common? They are ready for milking.
Closer kin, deeper in!
Why did the skeleton not go to the dance?
Because he’s dead.
You idiot.
The dick said to the ass, "this place is a shit hole."
The ass replied, "Yes, but you still keep coming."
I was talking to my friend, and he said, "I lost my virginity to a girl, and then she stopped coming to school." And I said, "Probably because she was fired."