Worst Jokes Ever

Why can't orphans work at S.C. Johnson?

Because it's a family company...

You think people with glasses are smart, but they fail the eye doctor test.

My woman is a nine on a bad day, but she’ll be 10 on her birthday.

I tried to explain to my 4 year old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants. But he's still making fun of me.

My therapist once said, "time heals all wounds." So I stabbed him. Now we wait...

A man comes home and hears his wife talking about having sex at the club. The man busts into the club with a revolver and says, "WHO TF FUCKED MY WIFE?" Well, everyone looks over and is quiet, and someone in the back says, "Mate, you don't have enough bullets."

Dark humor is like a kid with cancer.

It never gets old.

What's the most common thing between Hitler and an emo?

Hitler knows when to kill himself!

Balls in your jaws.

I’m trying to find out what IDK means. Every time I ask someone, they say, "I don’t know."

A little girl was sitting with some other kids. She thought to herself, "I want to have kids when I'm older, at least they’ll have a home, parents, and hopefully a dad that actually came back with the milk!" 🤣😂

What kind of dreams do hotels have?

Suite dreams.

My best friend looked at my arms and said, "Stop, sh*t, it's bad," then turns right around and says, "You look like a tiger."

So from here on out I am now Finn, the self-harming tiger.

My girlfriend broke up with me, so I took her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?

Kenny's favorite part of living in his mom's basement is sleeping with the landlady.

Why do orphans love to go to church? Because they have someone to call father.

Sometimes I feel ugly, then I think of my sister and feel better.

Woman: "I want coffee, black."

Cop: *takes out gun* "WHERE?!"

Why are Japanese always so skinny?

Cause last time there was a fat man, an entire city disappeared.

It's said Duracell batteries are supposed to last 75 years, well Stephen, here you are.