Worst Jokes Ever
Why are camels known as ships of the desert?
Because they’re full of Arab semen.
Why couldn't the teacher let her kids out?
Because she has no arms to open the door.
What does one math book say to the other? -- "Don't bother me. I've got my own problems!"
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter, he isn't coming to you.
What is the tallest building?
A library 📚
It has the most stories.
A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an expedition to the Amazon Forest. After a while, they get lost. As they are walking, suddenly the bushes jump up into the air and men with spears are there. One man says, "Hey, you're in our sacred land. So what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren't that crazy, so we will let you choose how you die."
The man from France said, "Bring me the poison."
The man from Britain said, "Bring me the gun."
And the man from New York said, "Bring me a fork."
The guy was confused with the fork but still brought the items and gave them to them.
The guy from France said, "For France!" And drank the poison and died.
The man from Britain said, "Long live the queen!" And shot himself and died.
And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said, "Make a canoe out of this, you fuckers!"
Died and came back a cowboy, I call that reintarnation.
There are people who are beautiful, and then there are people whom I won't rape.
Boy: "My girlfriend didn't dump me, I dumped her..."
Off the nearby cliff.
What is killing your friend called?
A homie-side.
Why can't dinosaurs clap? 'Cause they're dead.
When I was young, I decided to go to a medical school.
At the entrance exam, we were asked to re-arrange letters
'PNEIS'
and form the name of an important human body part which is most useful when erect.
Those who answered 'SPINE' are doctors.
Why do depressed people go to camp? To learn how to tie knots tighter.
Today, I asked my phone, "Siri, why am I still single?" and it activated the front camera.
What's the difference between parents and depression? At least one of them leaves you.
Today I saw a little boy wearing rags sitting on a curb. I said, "Awww, are you an orphan?" He said, "Yes, what gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."
If a man and a woman need a marriage license to get married, does a lesbian couple need a liquor license to get married?
- Yo mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow dress, people yell "Taxi!"
- Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to climb Mountain Dew.
- Yo mama is so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.
- Yo mama is so old, she knew Burger King when he was still a prince.
- Yo mama is so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention.
I would tell a dad joke, but it already left me.
What do you call terrible milk?
Udder Bullshit.