Worst Jokes Ever

Confucius says, "Man who walks through airport door sideways with erection, is going to Bangkok."

I hit a ball with a bat, it was called animal abuse.

What did the cop say after he shot the ginger?

"I guess orange is the new black."

A Down syndrome kid asks for an ice cream. The man asks, "Do you want sauce on it?"

The kid says, "It doesn’t matter, I’m going to drop it anyway!" 😂😂😂

The Twin Towers remind me of an emote... bing, bang, boom.

My friend loves playing Roulette, so I figured I would introduce him to Russian Roulette. Blew his mind.

If it's on the clock, it's old enough for the cock.

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to the Super Bowl game.

They had great seats right behind their team's bench.

After the game, the guy asked his girlfriend how she liked the experience.

"Oh, I really liked it!" she replied, "Especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."

Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, "What do you mean?"

She said, "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!' I’m like, hellooooo! It’s only 25 cents!"

What do a crippled person's legs and the Twin Towers have in common? They both went down and never came back up.

Do you know Imagine Dragons?

Yeah.

Imagine dragon my nuts across your face.

I've always been suicidal. Some might say, "Why haven't I actually done the act?" I'll just say, well, I hate myself too much so I thought I'd stay around for the punishment of staying alive.

How do emos compliment each other?

They say, "I like your cuts g."

I called an Asian person and asked, 'Is this Mister Wing?' 'No.'

I called once more and asked, 'Is this Mister Wong?' 'No.'

I guess I 'winged the Wong number.'

"Monica Lewinsky has gone down on Bill Clinton several times. What's stopping her from having a one-night stand with Donald Trump?"

"Trump is nothing more than a little pussy, don't ya know?"

What does Johnny Depp do when his kids are not home?

Cocaine.

What is an orphan's favorite beer?

"Fosters."

What do you call a gay kid that killed himself?

A byebyesexual.

Where did Noah keep his bees? -- In the ark hives.

Why didn't the koala make the finals? It got diskoalafied.

Here’s another joke my friend told me.

What did the school shooter do when the librarian told him to be quiet? Pulled out a silencer.