Worst Jokes Ever
Where is the cheapest gun range? Your local public school.
Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly. I told her that, as a punishment, she won't eat butter for 1 month.
Today I saw her killing a cockroach in the kitchen. I told her "nice try".
So, you wanna hear a joke about the wall?
... Actually, nah, you won't get over it.
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Are you kidding? Feminists can’t change anything.
When deaf people see someone yawning, do they think they're screaming?
The saddest painting you will see is a mirror.
Why does Donald Trump love little boys? Because his hands look massive when he’s holding their tiny little prepubescent cocks.
How much alcohol does JFK prefer to drink?
3 shots.
How did Protestants perform in the 16th century? Well done.
Did you hear about the bisexual from Alabama? He can't decide whether to fuck his brother or his sister.
Me running after slapping the emo kid's wrist and saying, "I like ya cut g."
I’d make fun of transgender women, but that’s low hanging fruit.
What do you call a grown-up orphan? Homeless.
what's the difference between an emo and an apple? the apple falls to the ground while the emo just hangs there.
Why did little Timmy dip the cookie in water?
"Because his dad never brought the milk."
Q: Why do orphans love boomerangs?
A: Because they actually come back.
Last night I had a dream I was swimming in lemonade... turns out I peed the bed.
Little Johnny was eating dinner with his family. His mother went around the table and asked, "Mark, what would you like to eat?" Mark said, "I'd like some fucking potatoes." *SMACK*! Mother slapped Mark. She then asked Suzie, "What would you like to eat?" "Well, I'd like some fucking potatoes," said Suzie. *SMAACK*! She slapped Suzie. "Okay, Johnny, what would you like to eat?" "Well.... I sure as hell don't want no fucking potatoes."
What is Al-Qaeda's favorite football team? The New York Jets.
The teacher of the ELA class said that whoever answers this next question gets to go home. Then a kid sitting next to the window threw his bag out the window. Teacher asked who threw that, he said, "Me, I'm going home." Before he could move the teacher pointed a ruler at him and said, "At the end of this ruler is an idiot," he got suspended for asking which end.