Worst Jokes Ever
Q. How does a feminist stop a rapist?
A. By using her equal strength.
Me and my brother were called the twin towers. My brother lived up to his title after the plane crash.
I got an orphan an iPhone 6. I told him to press the home button. He has been doing it all day.
I had a friend who was a dwarf. He committed suicide. He jumped off a curb.
How many gays does it take to put in a light bulb?
Only one... but it takes the entire Emergency Room to get it out.
Roses are blood red, violets are twilight-hued; your blood was delectable, and so was the rest of you.
If abortion is murder, is jerking off genocide?
What does a cow say? Moo.
I entered ten puns into a contest to see which one would win.
No pun in ten did.
It must not be a good suicide story if you can tell it.
What does a perverted frog say?
"Rubbit."
Wanna hear a funny joke? Well, that was why you were here... Here's the joke: Your life :)
Your forehead is so big, a whole jungle grew on it.
What do you call an epileptic kid eating fruits?
A blender.
The orphanage was open in apps, but I didn’t see the home button.
What is 6.9?
A beautiful thing ruined by a period.
I'm so depressed that when I smile my Face ID won't work.
An old woman goes to the doctor complaining of extremely smelly gas.
"I don't understand it, Doc," she said, "I have this terrible, terrible gas." "Thankfully," she added, "they are at least silent when I fart."
Doctor hands her a bottle of pills, tells her take them all and then come back to see him.
The old woman returned a short time later extremely mad. "I took those pills like you said and not only is my gas smelly, but now when I fart they are obnoxiously loud!", she yelled.
The doctor said, "well, now that we've solved your hearing problem, let's see what we can do about that gas".
Where do you find a turtle with no legs?
Right where you left it.
Why is Stephen Hawking a bad role model? -- He doesn't stand for anything.