Worst Jokes Ever
Knock knock. Who's there? A boy. A boy who? A boy who can't reach the doorbell knocking at your door.
What do you call a chicken looking at a bowl of salad?
A chicken sees a salad (chicken Caesar salad).
Nazis have marched in Melbourne. Are you sure Eric Clapton and Carrie Underwood are not touring in Australia?
What are fish not allowed to have?
Seaweed.
What's the difference between orphans and apples?
Apples get picked.
A professor was talking about the American dream. Then, he asked the German exchange student if there was a German dream, to which the student replies, "We did, but no one liked it."
If the minions serve whoever is the biggest bad, then who did they serve 1930-1945?
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You make them clap until they go home.
What do you call a boomerang that never comes back?
Daddy.
Yo mama so stupid she threw a Mother's Day party at an orphanage.
How do you get bubblegum out of your hair?
Cancer.
Secretly, I’m a woman catfishing gay men on Grindr. When a notification from the app went off, my son told me, “I’ve heard that sound. Daddy has that game, too!”
What do you call it when a drunk cowgirl falls off her stool at the bar?
A hoedown.
What do you call a Communist sniper? -- A Marxman.
Why can't Chinese people play baseball?
Because they eat the bat.
What's the most fun a monk can have?
Nun.
My mom told me drugs are my enemies... but Jesus said to love your enemies.
A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone.
It’s either really terrible news or really great news.
Old man goes to the doctor.
The doctor says, "The test results are back, and I'm sad to say you have cancer and Alzheimer's."
The old man says, "Phew! At least it's not cancer!"
Hubble just spotted something huge coming out of Uranus.