Worst Jokes Ever
Why are there so many scars and cuts on your arm?
Because it's a battlefield.
My life is so sad it's because you're in it.
What was Michael Jackson's favorite dessert? Cream pie.
Asian pregnancy test: Stick a Rubik cube into vagina. Wait 30 seconds, if it's solved then there's a little Asian in there.
*School shooting happens*
Foreign exchange student: *Sobbing under desk*
American student: "First time?"
What do you call a united cow?
United Steaks.
I won't ever forget my dad's last words: "OH GOD THE POLICE!!!"
Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked if he wanted to upgrade to Windows 10. He replied, "I still love Vista, baby."
What's the difference between your girlfriend and sister? Nothing if you're from Alabama.
What do you call a Russian prostitute? Slobadown Mycockyoubitch.
A guy is on trial for leading a mob to gang rape a woman he'd taken out for a date. His defense is that he was helping her live out a fantasy.
The DA is furious and asks him WTF gave him that idea. He said, "After the date I took her back to her house, pulled out my dick, and tried to hand it to her. She told me, 'You've gotta be fucking kidding me. Seriously, go get some help!'"
Welcome to Morgan's Morgue and Pizzeria where yesterday's loss is today's sauce!
Why did Michael Jackson like having little boys round him? He was studying for the priesthood.
What made me laugh?
The fact that my life is a joke."
Nobody: Aww, that's so sad!
Me: Just like me.
What do you call someone in a wheelchair during a California fire?
A steamed vegetable.
Chuck Norris once took down a fence. Maybe you heard of it, the Berlin Wall.
What did the autistic kid order at a restaurant?
A disorder.
What do cannibals call newborn babies?
Fresh fruit.
Dark jokes are like a new day. Suicidal people don't get it.