Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

I was sitting in a bar one day and two really large women came in, talking in an interesting accent. So I said, "Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?" One of them snarled at me, "It's Wales, Dumbo!" So I corrected myself, "My apologies, so are you two whales from Ireland?"

Blowjob

What do you call a blowjob from a girl who has autism?

Special head.

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  • I ran over my neighbor's cat last night, and I just want to say... that thing was fast! I had to run a red light to get it!

    A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on how to commit suicide.

    The librarian says, “No, you won’t bring it back.”

    My grandpa told me I was too dependent on devices. I told him he was a hypocrite and unplugged him from his life support.

    The last thing I told my ex after we broke up was, "At least we're still cousins!" 😂

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  • "What's your name, son?" the principal asked his student. The kid replied, "D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir." "Do you have a stutter?" the principal asked. The student answered, "No sir, my dad has a stutter, but the guy who registered my name was a real jerk."

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  • What’s the difference between depression and your ex?

    Depression fucks you harder.

    "I'm thinking about killing off the main character in this book I'm writing."

    "What type of book is it?"

    "An autobiography."