Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

My wife told me to be more in touch with my feminine side, so I crashed the car.

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    • I'm reading this book in braille right now, and I know something's gonna happen, I can just feel it.

    If I were a history teacher, I’d make the two twins stand up and throw a paper airplane at them.

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    • Australian says to American: why do you have such bad gun laws?

    American: Self defense.

    Australian: Self defense against 50 innocent children?

    So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods.

    The boy turns to the man and says, "Hey mister, it's getting dark out, and I’m scared... Can we go back now?"

    So the man says: "How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone!"

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    • My mother was so sad after my grandpa's death, she went into the bathroom with my uncle, and I could hear their moans of sorrow. She then surprised me later on, saying that she was pregnant.

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    • I just found out that there is a racist stereotype about Asians being bad drivers, which isn't true... but if it is, then maybe Pearl Harbor was just an accident.

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    • Jesus takes his disciples to a bar.

    "13 pints of water, please," he says to the barman.

    "Oh, fuck, not you again," the barman replies.

    "You boys are about to see something real special," says Jesus.

    Yo mama so ugly, when she tried to enter an ugly contest, they said they didn't allow professionals.

    After getting in the White House, D. Trump gets a letter...

    ...from the Iranian president. He opens it and to his surprise there is a paper with a weird looking code on it:

    370HSSV 0773H

    All confused, Trump contacts the FBI and forwards the letter to them in hope they can figure out the meaning, but they weren't able to. Trump gets angry and sends the letter to both the CIA and NSA, and they also fail to figure out the meaning of the letter.

    One of the agents suggests Trump ask for MI6's help, so he does and few minutes after a British agent sends a fax to his secretary:

    "Tell your president he was holding the letter upside down."

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    • A blind man had an argument with a man in a wheelchair. The man in a wheelchair made fun of him saying, "look, there's a spider." The blind man simply said, "Step on it."

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