Worst Jokes Ever
If somebody cuts their leg off and hits you with it, would they be kicking or hitting you?
Why was the ant so confused?
All of its uncles were ants.
What did one iceberg say to the other iceberg as the Titanic went by?
"I'd smash that."
What is the most popular game at the orphanage?
Need For Speed: Most Wanted.
Why are Americans so good at solving Rubik’s cubes?
Because they have a history of separating colors.
Why do cats leave scratches on arms? They don't; I do it myself.
How does a cannibal start a wedding reception?
He toasts the groom.
Michael Jackson goes to the doctor.
Michael Jackson: "Help, doctor, I've been shot!" Doctor: "I can't fix that, but I can change your skin color so it doesn't happen again."
Yesterday I was fucking my sister, and she said, "You fuck a lot like dad." I said, "Really? Mum said that too."
Why are Orphans so bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.
What do you call a special police officer?
Officer down!
What's the difference between a joke and the Twin Towers? People don't laugh at my jokes.
My attitude doesn't have to be the only reason I yell and roll my eyes in the back of my head.
What does my arm have in common with paper?
They both can be cut.
If Stephen Hawking was so fucking smart, why hasn't he learned to walk yet?
I'm in the year 1930...
The Great Depression.
I saw an ISIS video and I got the theme stuck in my head. I was humming it the next day at work when my Arab co-worker said, "soon, my brother."
They say they found water on Mars. Mars 1, Africa 0.
I realized that a really bad joke and my life are the exact same thing.
My nickname should be night light... because kids turn me on...