Worst Jokes Ever

What did the skeleton say while riding his Harley Davidson motorcycle?

I’m bone to be wild!

How many dead prostitutes does it take to change a light bulb? Obviously not 8, because it's still dark in my basement.

Yo mama's so dumb, when a robber stole her TV, she said, "You forgot the remote!"

Why can't Michael Jackson ever win in a race? Because he always comes in a little behind.

What do you call a cow that is really sad? Utterly Depressed. HEHEHEHE

Technically, we have all been deeper in our mom than our dads have.

What do you call a retard with a boner? A slowpoke.

I just found out I'm colorblind. News came out of the purple.

Give a man a match, he'll be warm for a while. But set a man on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

Why do witches wear name tags?

So they know which witch is which!

I haven't talked to my wife in three weeks.

I didn't want to interrupt her.

Once an orphan got a girlfriend. He regretted it. She left him too.

What do Michael Jackson and a Playstation have in common? They both get turned on by kids.

Did you hear about the new emo pizza? It cuts itself.

Being gay sounds like a pain in the ass.

I once called a depressed guy [to ask] why he loves ropes so much, and he left HUNGing on the phone. (I'm not English, so I could've talked bad.)

I saw a monkey outside of school and said, "Look, a monkey!" I got expelled the next day.

How do you know Johnny Depp finished his meal?

When you see fifty empty bottles of wine on his front doorstep.

Where do you buy a dishwasher?

Hot singles in your area.

What's green and smells like pork? Kermit's finger.