Worst Jokes Ever
Well, you know what they say about cliffhangers...
A man is sitting on a bench at a playground where children are playing. A man named Chris comes up and asks, “Which one is yours?” The man said, “I don’t know, I’m still deciding.”
What is the coolest bath bomb for emos?
A toaster.
I don’t see why emo kids don’t like to hang around.
I see them hang all day.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I only do anal, I thought you knew.
Why are Americans bad chess players?
They lost two towers.
Women suck (GET IT?!)
I'm going to hang myself in the bathroom at school and put a note telling kids that I'm a piñata.
What do you call an LGBTQ person getting grilled? LGBBQ.
Why are Muslims not fond of American cops?
Because Muslims don't like pigs!
What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common?
They both leave the little kids' room with empty sacks.
My mom said don't fuck whores.
So I kicked my step sis out the house.
Dad: School is canceled, I think your teacher died or something.
Me: Wow, they found the body already?
Dad: :/
If a stork brings white babies, and a blackbird black babies, what bird brings no babies?
A swallow.
My girlfriend asked me to write her a poem for Valentines Day:
Roses are red, Watches are gold. Get on your knees, And do as you're told.
Race car backwards is race car, but if you turn race car sideways, that’s how Paul Walker got sent to God’s inbox.
When I was teaching my dog tricks, a Chinese man came to me and asked, "Why were you playing with your food?"
The Libertarian Party was founded in 1971, and the Libertarian Party has lost every presidential election since 1972, and according to the Libertarian Party the Libertarian Party is the only political party in the United States that is the party of principle. If the Libertarian Party is the party of principle then why hasn't the Libertarian Party won a presidential election since 1972?
Because it is politically motivated.
Don't criticize someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes. So, when you criticize them, they won't be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you'll have their shoes.
I would tell a dad joke, but it already left me.