Worst Jokes Ever

What’s a Mexican's favorite game?

Borderlands.

An older retired couple - the wife had grown tired of her husband farting in bed each night. One morning she put some chicken parts under the blankets in bed next to him and went off to make some coffee.

A few minutes later she hears a loud fart followed by a blood curdling scream. He comes out after a while and says, "Hon, you were right that I would fart my guts out. Took me the longest to put them back in."

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

PP almighty stabeth thy! Then my sister said, "Just put it in."

I'm starting a clown shoe store.

It's no small feat! :oD

What do you call a smart blonde?

Nonexistent.

Like it if you judge people's hairlines.

Why can't orphans go on an away trip? Because they already are on one.

Don't let mistakes drag you down. My dad made one mistake, but it ended up fulfilling the 5-year plan of heat energy generation in less than a millisecond.

I threw a Asian down some stairs. It was Wong on so many levels.

When your mom tries to hit you with the belt but misses and hits herself... #victoryroyale

Q: What's yellow and floats?

A: A bus full of children.

Why aren't apple chargers called apple juice? Also, how do you throw away trash cans?

I'd tell you a joke about unemployed people, but none of them work.

What do you call an Asian receptionist?

Tai Ping.

Yo mama so fat when she went on a plane, somebody yelled "A solar eclipse!"

I guess you could say Stephen Hawking is a dead meme.

Old people kept saying "you're next" to me at weddings, so I started saying it to them at funerals.

Me: Calls 9-1-1.

Operator: 9/11, what’s your emergency?

Me: *hangs up*

Roses are red, Violets are red, Sunflowers are red,

HOLY SHIT, MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!