Worst Jokes Ever
Three dead bodies are delivered to the mortuary one day. Each of them has a great big smile on their face.
The coroner examines the bodies and then calls the police to tell them what has happened.
"First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector," says the coroner.
"Second body: Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."
The inspector then asks, "What about the third body?"
"Ah," says the coroner, "This is the most unusual one. Billy-Bob the redneck from Oklahoma, 30, struck by lightning."
"Why is he smiling then?" asks the inspector.
"He thought he was having his picture taken."
I saw an orphan crying the other day, so I asked, "Where are your parents?"
God, I love working at an orphanage :)
A friend of mine used to be morbidly obese, but after lots of exercise and hard work... We were able to lift his coffin.
🧀: C’mon tomato!
🍅: I’m trying to ketchup.
🧀: You’re a mile away.
🍅: I am a tomato! It’s not that easy for me to ketchup.
Who's the best at musical chairs?
Stephen Hawking.
At least Africans don't have to worry about food critics.
If you're fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?
Flat Earther pickup line: "The Earth may be flat, but Uranus is round."
What do you call a sad cup of coffee?
Answer: Depresso.
What's a furry's favorite news network?
Fox!
Why do orphans cry at insurance places?
They got offered the family plan.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
My life.
My life who?
My life is depressing...
Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn't last as long for fat people.
What’s the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese person
You have to drop the bomb twice before they get the message
A woman comes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, I think I have cancer." The doctor checks it out. "It’s all in your head," the doctor says. "Phew," said the woman. "A bunch of tumors, all in your head."
I know a woman who owns a taser. -- She's stunning!
Why was the emo kid sad? Because his bar code expired.
Why aren't emos and trees friends? Because the tree leaves them hanging.
Guy: Do you know how to draw women's rights?
Girl: No, how?
Guy: All you need is a blank paper, and that's it.
So sad when the emo kid tried to give a high five to a tree.
Too bad he left him hanging.