Worst Jokes Ever
How do you make holy water?
You take normal water and boil the hell out of it.
I’d make fun of transgender women, but that’s low hanging fruit.
It's been raining for days. My wife is totally depressed. She keeps looking through the window. If this keeps up, I'll have to let her in.
Jesus walks into a motel, throws 3 nails on the counter, and says, "Can you put me up for a night?"
What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.
I was raised an only child, which really pissed my brother.
What do a blind person and an orphan have in common?
They both cannot see their family.
How do you circumcise a redneck? Kick his sister in the jaw.
My friends used to poke me at weddings and say, "You're next."
So I started poking them at funerals and saying, "You're next" to my friends.
What do you call a Muslim who owns 6 goats? -- A pimp.
What is an Emo's favorite way to Cosplay?
Dress up as a piñata!
Chuck Norris was a kamikaze pilot. 12 times.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I have 10 fingers, the middle ones are for you.
I bought a ceiling fan the other day.
It was a complete waste of money.
He just stands there applauding and saying, "Ooh, I love how smooth it is."
How do you cut the sea in half?
With a sea-saw.
Where did Kobe go after the helicopter crashed? Everywhere.
When you push your grandma out of her wheelchair and steal it.
“They see me rollin’, they hatin’.”
Q: How do you make a pool table laugh?
A: Tickle its balls.
Yo mamma is so dumb that she smokes to burn calories!
I was in a motivational seminar about depression the other day, and she said I could be anything I wanted to be if I put my mind to it. Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and do it, even if it's messy.