
Worst Jokes Ever
I have 5 fingers and the middle one is for you
I think Abraham Lincoln was gay because a guy shot from behind.
I made a website for orphans.
It doesn't have a home page.
I'm sweating like Michael Jackson at a kindergarten.
If Mexico is an unredeemable shithole, then how come the Republicans' favorite senator, Ted Cruz, ran to Mexico as fast as he could after a little bit of snow in his home?
- Mommy, I want a bicycle!
- Shut up, Sam! You've already got your wheelchair!
What's the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese girl?
You gotta drop the bomb twice before she gets it.
What do you call a virgin lying on a waterbed?
A cherry float.
"I will Always Love You!"
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? -- The wheelchair.
Dad: School is canceled, I think your teacher died or something.
Me: Wow, they found the body already?
Dad: :/
I love Brussel sprouts more than I love myself.
What happened to the fly on the toilet seat?
It got pissed off.
My friend surprised me for my birthday with a book called ‘Road-Kill Recipes’. I did find some roadkill the other day, so I cooked it according to one recipe and it was delicious. I’m just not sure what I should do with the bicycle.
My dad died the other day, but I was able to hear his last words: "Son, are you still holding the ladder?"
Is necrophilia considered cracking open a cold one?
What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? I take my shoes off when I jump on a trampoline.
Define abnormal life.
Waking up every day living a sane life!
Baptism, a chance for the priest to bathe you.
My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better, so I sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wife's broken leg.