Worst Jokes Ever
It's funny how you feel so alone with depression, and yet once you tell people on some random website, so many people relate. Unfortunately, it doesn't stop the loneliness.
The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.
Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.”
The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.”
Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”
The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.”
Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him.
Johnny said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!”
The teacher sat down and cried.
Yo mama's so stupid, she took a Covid test and got an F.
Why does Spider-Man only have 11 months?
He lost May.
How does Stephen Hawking have sex? Enter, backspace, enter, backspace, enter, backspace.
What’s a Mexican's favorite game?
Borderlands.
Fortnite Battle Pass.
My future is so bright, I need a flashlight to see where I'm going.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef.
What kind of fish comes out at night?
A starfish.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a leaf? Only one falls down the family tree.
How do you get 500 babies in a phone booth?
A blender.
How do you get them out?
A straw.
It is reported that when Churchill met Stalin at Yalta, they discussed their hobbies.
Churchill said: "I collect the jokes people tell me about me."
"That's a coincidence," said Stalin, "I collect the people who tell jokes about me."
Depression, I got it.
A girlfriend, don't got it.
A life, don't got it.
Help, got it.
Friends, don't got it.
Family, I got it.
Best of all, depression, I got it!!!!!!
Two men ran into a bar. You would have thought after the first one hit it, the second one would have seen it.
Only one of Kenny's girlfriends has ever said he's good in bed.
But she has to. She's his mom.
Did you hear about the two guys who stole a calendar? No? They both got six months.
Yo mama is so fat, she has her own personal gravity.
Q: What did one emo kid say to the other emo kid?
A: Wanna hang out?
Boy 1: "Sonic is a fictional character."
Boy 2: "Yeah, just like your dad."