Worst Jokes Ever
Why should you be friends with emos? Because you get to scan their bar code for 20% off, and when it expires, they get rid of themselves.
I saw a man trying to rape a girl. I decided to help. She didn't stand a chance against both of us.
You're probably getting tired of these gravity jokes... but I keep falling for them every time.
Q. Why do orphans love elevators?
A. Because they're the only things to raise them.
A computer science student is studying under a tree, and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, "Where'd you get that?"
The student on the bike replies, "While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, 'You can have anything you want.'"
The first student responds, "Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn't have fit you."
Why does Mexico never hold the Olympics? Because everyone that can run, jump, and swim is already out of the country.
What's the difference between a Lambo and a boner?
Your sister didn't give me a Lambo.
What did the girl say to the man with a moustache?
I moustache you a question.
What does PEMDAS stand for?
Please End My Depression And Suffering.
I've got 99 problems and one of them is that I count my problems instead of solving them.
I remember waving at this guy in the street. The a**hole didn't wave back... Come to think of it, he was also swinging around a weird stick.
Your forehead is so big, I bet your dreams are in IMAX.
Q: Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand?
A: So she can moan with the other.
I would tell you a milk joke, but it's whey too cheesy!
Nutted in her braces, now my kids are behind bars.
One day, the fat kid came up to me and asked me, "What's cracking?" The floorboards, you idiot. You're causing a 9.7 Richter scale earthquake and asking ME what's cracking. It would be best if you looked down for a second.
A woman approached me in the street the other day with one of those charity collection buckets and asked me: Do you know how often people die from AIDS?
I said: Now I'm no expert, but I think it's only once.
What do a prostitute and peanut butter have in common?
They both spread for bread.
cock, cock, and cum
Father: "That's great, son. Who is she?"
Son: "It's Tina, the neighbor's daughter."
Father: "Ohhh, I wish you hadn't said that. I have to tell you something, son, but you must promise not to tell your mother. Tina is actually your sister."
The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later:
Son: "Daddy, I fell in love again, and she is even hotter!"
Father: "That's great, son. Who is she?"
Son: "It's Peny, the other neighbor's daughter."
Father: "Ohhhh, I wish you hadn't said that. Peny is also your sister."
This went on a couple of times, and the son was so mad, he went straight to his mother crying.
Son: "Mum, I am so mad at Dad! I fell in love with six girls, but I can't date any of them because Daddy is their father!"
The mother hugs him affectionately and says:
"My love, you can date whoever you want. Don't listen to him. He is not your father!"