Worst Jokes Ever
If the hairdresser is healthy, the cat is happy. *purr*.
On the other hand, if the hairdresser is sick, the cat is happy too. *purrs on the bed*
Roses are red, peanuts are tan. I am joining the Ku Klux Klan.
Sometimes, stairs get me down.
What do you call an avocado that got shot? Glockamole.
Why was Tickle Me Elmo upset when he left the factory?
Because they only gave him one test tickle.
Roses are red, my name is Dan, I have a gun, GET IN THE VAN!
How do mountains see? They peek.
My grandfather says I’m too reliant on technology.
I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
Brojobs are like air. It's not important until you don't have any.
Science flies you to the moon, but religion flies you into 2 skyscrapers.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims. They went through 80 stories in 7 seconds. In case you didn't see that one coming, don't feel bad, they didn't either.
I tried to explain to my 4 year old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants. But he's still making fun of me.
What do Michelangelo and Hitler have in common?
They both used their brain to paint the ceiling.
Why did the vegetable cross the road? He didn't, he just sat there.
What kind of bees eat brains?
Zombees.
I just wanted to say to never let go of family; they are everything. Never let anyone walk all over you. And if you are with me, like this quote.
Why didn't the Asian get a high five? Because Logan Paul left him hanging.
Sir William Herschel discovered Uranus in 1781, 200 years before you were born. How did he do that?
Yo mama so fat, she blocked my internet connection.
Why do orphans eat water with their cereal? Because their father never came home with milk.