Worst Jokes Ever
Q: How do you know when an Asian broke into your house?
A: You can't find your dog.
I can tell a joke :)
Twinkle, twinkle, there's a car Coming like a shooting star. I will stand in the way. I will not be seen again. Are you happy I am dead? Now you made it to the end.
Why did the orphan rob the bank?
To be wanted.
What’s the difference between an LGBTQ and brain cells?
Brain cells make up their mind.
What is Wacko Jacko's favorite David Bowie song?
"Boys Keep Swinging."
Me and my friend went to the park. After a while, we grabbed our little princess and said, "It's time to go, sweetie." But before we could go, someone said, "Stop them, they have my daughter!"
How do you make an adopted kid bleed? ... Tell him to clap until his parents come back.
Why did the OREO go to the dentist?
Because he needed a filling. 😂
My mom thinks I need to stop objectifying women. I think she is overreacting.
She asked why I broke up with the last girl, and I said,
"It didn't work out."
She told me to be more specific, so I said,
"I just told you, she didn't exercise."
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He just stares them down and gets the information he wants.
my therapist told me that time heals wounds i stabbed him now we wait
Why did Adolf Hitler like nuts? He only had one.
There's a kid named Little Johnny who would always cuss. Well, one day, he was sitting in class and the teacher said, "Let's play a game." So the game was she calls out a letter and someone raises her hand and tells her a word that begins with that letter. The teacher says "A". Little Johnny raises his hand and the teacher thinks to herself, "Well, he might say something like a**." So the teacher calls on Sally. Sally says "apple". The teacher says "B". Little Johnny raises his hand. The teacher thought, "No, he might say something like b!tch." So the teacher goes all the way to R. The teacher says "R". Little Johnny raises his hand and says, "Me, me, please, I really know one." Then the teacher thinks to herself, "Well, there's no cuss word that starts with R," so she said, "Okay, Johnny, give me a word that starts with R." Little Johnny says, "A rat!" and the teacher, very pleased, says, "Very good, Johnny. What type of rat?" Little Johnny says, "A big gosh damn mother freaker."
Sorry, I had to edit some word, but y'all know what I meant.
I'll never forget my sister's last words. "Is it edible?"
Suicide is just freedom, life is just full of pain... Sometimes if you're gone maybe somebody might notice. Feels like life is a maze and the only way to leave is the exit. Nobody notices your pain, your suffering, and that you try your best though everyone notices your mistakes. Life just feels like everyone hates you. Life for me is just faking smiles, I'm not sure how everyone lives such a good life.
What happens when a clock is hungry?
It goes back four seconds.
How to complement a depressed person: "I like your cuts, g."
Life's too short to want it.
Me: Happy birthday! I got you a Rubix cube! Friend: I hate you. Me: Why? Friend: I'm color blind.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high and grabbed Jill's thigh and said, "You know you wanna."
Jill said yes and lifted her dress so they could have some fun, but stupid Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.