Worst Jokes Ever
brb makin' tic tac toe boards on myself.
Dark humor never gets old, like kids from Africa.
Father: I am taking your toys to the orphanage.
Son: Why?
Father: You’ll need them there.
How do you name an Asian child?
Ring the doorbell.
Yo mama's so old, when she was a girl, rainbows were black and white.
Chuck Norris: "I block bullets with my beard." Abraham Lincoln: "I catch bullets with my skull."
A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd-shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders.
As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"
You want some dead batteries? They're free of charge.
What’s wrong with a gay bbq?
All the hotdogs taste like shit.
Friend: I broke up with Sara.
Me: I know, she came over and I screwed her hard.
Friend: How did her pussy feel?
Me: After about 2 inches, it felt brand new.
Friend: What do you— HOLD UP. WHAT TF IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!?!
Son: Dad, am I adopted?
Father: What? No! Out of all the kids in the adoption center, do you really think I would pick you?
If you ever become depressed, try drinking a gallon of water before going to sleep... That'll give you a reason to get up in the morning.
The daughter milked her dad. It turns out it wasn't milk...
What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can't hear an enzyme.
Q: What was the last thing Kurt Cobain said to Courtney Love before he died?
A: “Holes gonna be big.”
WOW this ultra realistic jenga is awesome!🔥🔥
What's the difference between Nemo and my dad?
Nemo was eventually found.
What's so similar between a pregnant 14 year old and the sperm inside her? They're both thinking, "Oh shit, my mum is gonna kill me!"
Why do orphans love chips?
Because every bag of chips is family size.
What is italian sausage?
The dick of a gay italian.