Worst Jokes Ever
I got kicked out of the hospital.
Apparently, the sign "Stroke patients here" meant something totally different.
What's the difference between an onion and a hooker?
I cry when I chop up onions.
God creating spiders.
God: "Make it have 8 legs." Angel: "Ok? Bit excessive but ok." God: "And 8 eyes." Angel: "You need to calm down and li-" God: "Give it a butt rope!"
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
If this post gets 200 likes or comments, I will show up in a MrBeast video.
My aunt's star sign was Cancer, pretty ironic how she died.
She was eaten by a giant crab.
What's the difference between a pile of babies and a Porsche?
I don't have a Porsche in my garage.
What does Jeffrey Dahmer and Travis Scott have in common?
Eight dead people.
My math teacher keeps telling me to find his x. It's kinda creepy.
What type of meat do priests eat on Good Friday? Nun.
What do you do when you see a sad orphan?
Nothing, let them wait for their parents.
Why do orphans go to church?
Because they can call someone "father."
Two men were talking about their wives. The first man says, "My wife is an angel." The second man says, "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
What do you say after committing incest?
No Chromo!
I just went on a date with a woman in a wheelchair.
I stood her up, which made her fall for me. At first it was a drag, but now we’re rolling.
What did the planes say when they were smashing or passing the Twin Towers?
Smash.
(Get it?) 9/11.
Little Johnny was late to school one day, and Miss Brown asks, "Johnny, how come you're late to class?" And Johnny says, "Miss, you wouldn't believe it. The farmer's bull got out and started fucking the white cow." Miss Brown said, "Johnny, don't use that word. Next time you want to say that, use the word 'surprised'."
The next day Johnny was late again, and Miss Brown said, "Johnny, why are you late?" And Johnny replied, "Miss, you wouldn't believe it. The farmer's bull got out and 'surprised' the white cow." Miss Brown said, "That's much better, Johnny." And Johnny said, "Yeah, walked straight passed it and started fucking the black one."
Will glass coffins be a success? -- Remains to be seen.
What goes 200 mph and is red?
Babies in a blender.
Why are Americans so shocked when it comes to Mexican drug cartels?
Because none of the drug lords (or their associates, for that matter) have shot up a school.