Worst Jokes Ever

How do you help a constipated person?

You scare the shit out of them!

I was going to tell my dad a joke, but he still hasn't come back with the milk yet.

Stop hating on pedos; at least they drive slow in a school zone, smh 🤣

I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears, people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that.

One time, the quiet kid hacked the speakers in a school. Next thing you know, "Pumped Up Kicks" by Foster The People starts playing.

Everybody was kung flu dying.

It traveled as fast as lightning.

2020 was expert timing.

In fact, it was a little bit frightening.

What do you call depressed Sesame Street?

Emo's World.

Trying to make a baby talk is like trying to negotiate with North Korea.

Titanic - "Yo, look at that sexy babe of an iceberg, let's hit her!"

Why does the Queen have more mobility than the King in chess?

Because it's shaped like the kitchen floor.

Why are Orphans so bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.

Give a man a match; he will be warm for hours.

Set him on fire; he will be warm for the rest of his life.

So, Little Johnny's teacher is warned at the beginning of the school year not to ever make a bet with Johnny unless she is absolutely sure she will win it. One day in class, Johnny raises his hand and says, "Teacher, I'll bet you $50 I can guess what color your underwear is." She replies, "Okay, meet me after class and we'll settle it." But before class ends, she goes to the restroom and removes her panties. After class is over and the students clear out, Johnny makes his guess. "Blue." "Nope. You got it wrong," she says as she lifts her skirt to reveal she isn't wearing any underwear. "Well, come with me out to my dad's car, he's waiting for me, and I'll get you the money." She follows him out. When they get to the car, she informs his dad that he got the bet wrong and that she showed Johnny that she wasn't wearing any underwear. His dad exclaims: "That mother fucker! He bet me $100 this morning that he'd see your pussy before the end of the day!"

If an orphan takes a selfie, isn't it basically a family portrait?

My best friend got ligma. (Ah, did he? Sorry bro.) LIGMA BALLS!

If you turn the word "racecar" backwards, it says "racecar".

But if you turn the racecar sideways, you have Paul Walker's blood on your hands.

Girl: "Come over."

Orphan: "I can't."

Girl: "My parents aren't home ;)"

Orphan: "Just two things I don't have."

Why did the orphan become a stripper?

So she could have someone to call daddy.

I had a gold fish who could breakdance on the carpet.

For 20 seconds.

And only once... :(

It was just a prank, and stop calling our humor "plane." In our opinion, it's fire.