Worst Jokes Ever
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They stuck her in a round room and told her to find the penny in the corner.
What's the difference between a rubber and Michael Jackson? Nothing, kids touch them both.
What type of file does it take to turn a 4 mm hole to a 44 mm hole?
A pedophile.
What’s the last thing Tickle Me Elmo receives before leaving the factory?
Two test tickles.
"You raise me up to stand on mountains," said the dwarf pornstar on my penis.
What do you call Stephen Hawking in a burning building?
Hot Wheels.
What do you call a pregnant slave? Buy one get one free.
If an illegal immigrant fights against a child molester, would that be "Alien vs Predator"?
I was walking down the street one day and I passed the gun store. I walked in and everything was half off. I didn't know back to school sales had started already.
What is Hitler's favorite game?
Nahtzee.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He just stares them down and gets the information he wants.
Immigration jokes just cross the line.
Despite my devilish attitude, I have the heart of a small boy.
I keep it in a jar on my desk.
I just shed my pants.
I'm so gay I could barely think straight.
How do you punish blind kids?
Put them in a round room and tell them to sit in the corner.
Woman: What’s a good comeback for my sexist husband when he tells me to go make him a sandwich?
Husband: I know! How about you COMEBACK with a goddamn sandwich?
What do emos and the Twin Towers have in common? There were two, but now there are none.
What did Freddie Mercury use to improve his hearing?
Hearing AIDS.
Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar? Because she heard the drinks were on the house.