Worst Jokes Ever
You call it suicide. I call it a failed parkour attempt.
I recently found out that my grandma died. We did an autopsy, and the results came back. They were pretty shocking.
We found out that she died............... from an autopsy.
My Xbox has been acting up lately... So I painted it black to make it run faster.
Who needs April Fools?
When your whole life is a joke?
Why did the lemon 🍋 go to the doctor 👩⚕️?
Because he had a sour stomach.
Why are Trump's ties so long?
Because they go all the way to Russia.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite childhood song? "The wheels on the chair go round and round....."
My best friend is transgender; she transitioned from a man into a woman. I think it's courageous of her to take a pay cut like that.
Today, I spotted Johnny Depp on the clearance rack at Kmart. Kmart is currently trying to clear its inventory of wife-beaters.
Should I buy COVID-19 or wait until COVID-20 comes out?
I made a website that helps orphans. Sadly, it doesn't have a homepage.
Why do they bury Germans 20 feet down when they die, instead of the usual 6 feet? Because deep down, Germans are ok.
I'll always remember my grandpa's last words.
"Are you getting the knife?"
Teacher: Your bag is heavy, what's in there?
Weird Kid: Magazines.
Why is 10 afraid? Because it is in the middle of 9/11.
You're so short, when you were born, the doctor couldn't tell if you were a boy, a girl, or a Jimmy Dean pork sausage.
What do you call it when a boxer cums? Busting a nut.
What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common?
They both leave children's rooms with an empty sack.
I was digging in our garden when I found a chest completely full of gold coins.
I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.
I told a joke and someone said, "no one asked." Then I said, "no one would care to even ask."