Worst Jokes Ever

What's a dying person's least favorite app? TikTok.

Urban areas are filled with terrorists, feminists, liberals, and murderers. Which one is not like the others? Murderers because they don't pretend to have a cause.

Me: I found a group of furries in the woods.

Voice in back: Well, it looks like we're going huntin'.

What's the difference between a prostitute and a drug dealer?

The prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again.

What does Michael Jackson and maths have in common? They're both hard for kids.

A beautiful woman is on the ledge of a bridge about to commit suicide.

A homeless man walks by her and says, "What are you doing?"

She says, "I'm going to jump!"

The homeless man says, "If you're going to kill yourself, do you wanna have sex with me first?"

The woman replies, "No way, creep! Never that!"

The homeless man doesn't seem bothered and says, "That's fine, I'll just wait 'til you're at the bottom."

What do you call a vegetable who has escaped prison?

An escapea.

What do furries and fast food lovers have in common? They both love hot dogs.

My Grandpa said, "Your generation relies too much on technology!" I replied, "No, your generation relies too much on technology!" Then I unplugged his life support.

Why do horses eat with their mouth open?

Because they have bad stable manners.

I hope you know CPR, because you are taking my breath away!

Do you want to know how to make a Smurf? CHOKE A MIDGET!

What does an Al Qaeda terrorist and a flexible man have in common?

They can blow themselves up.

Today in math class we had to do an activity where we had to flip coins. The teacher said that we had to flip some coins, remove all of the heads, count them, and put the rest of the coins back in the cup and repeat until we had no coins left. I’m not sure what we were supposed to get out of that activity, but I got 15 dead bodies.

My suicidal friend said he liked trains, so we took him to the tracks.

What do you call a group of black men hanging from a tree?

Alabama wind chimes.

I don't struggle with depression- like, at this point, I have it down. I'm good at depression.

My friend, while we are shopping and I'm telling her about my mental illness: "You're priceless."

When we get to the checkout: "I'm actually $2.50."

What do you call an idiotic cow?

A mis-steak!

What did the leper say to the prostitute?

You can keep the tip.