Worst Jokes Ever
What do emos and the Lorax have in common?
They both hang with trees.
I know an orphan named Zara, and he has never had homemade food.
Why doesn't a skeleton dance? Because he had no body to dance with. Lol, Sans.
What do we want? Racecar noises!
When do we want them? NEOWWWWW!
I like my women like I like my wine. 16 years old and locked in a basement.
I got told I'm too mean and that I need to think before I speak. So now I take a couple minutes and think of what will REALLY piss the other person off.
Why did the girl rage badly when she got an D- on her essay?
Because the teacher said she missed all her periods.
What do you call terrible milk?
Udder Bullshit.
A mother and son were in the backyard, and the son finished building a shed. The mother says, "You're the best husband ever."
What are the differences between a preschool and a pedophile's basement? Little kids leave preschool.
Me: Have you seen the movie Constipation?
You: No.
Me: Because it hasn’t come out yet! ERMINER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I tried to high five a tree, but it just left me hanging.
What's white and bloody?
Two doves in a trash compactor. Talk about a failed marriage.
How many beaten children does it take to change a light bulb for a drunken father?
Apparently not enough to impress him.
The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, "Honey put down the knife, we were only talking about getting a divorce."
What's worse than a baby in a trash can?
A baby in 10 trash cans.
So there were these two wind turbines standing in a field, and one of them asks the other, "What kind of music do you like?"
The other thinks for a moment and says, "I'm a big metal fan."
I bought a wooden whistle. But it wouldn't whistle, so I bought a steel whistle. But it still wouldn't whistle. So I bought a lead whistle, but it still wouldn't lead me to whistle.
Me: Man, I wish my clothes were emo.
Friend: Why?
Me: So they would hang themselves.
I was excited my teacher asked me for sex in exchange for a good grade, but then I realized I was homeschooled.