Worst Jokes Ever
What did Batman do when he went shopping?
Got ham!
Why is reverse cowgirl illegal in Alabama? Because you should never turn your back on family.
Why don't orphans like to get lost?
Because somebody's going to ask where their parents are.
If I wanted to kill myself, I would just climb up your ego and jump down to your IQ.
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan.
What did one buttcheek say to the other buttcheek?
"Together we can stop this shit."
Google is a woman because it doesn’t let you finish a sentence before it makes suggestions.
what do you call a terrorist attack in india?
a wednesday.
Dyslexic man walks into a bra.
At a date:
He: "I work with animals every day."
Me: "Oh, how sweet! What do you do?"
He: "I'm a butcher."
A teacher is doing an experiment about taste. She tells each student to line up so she can give them each a lifesaver, so they can tell her what flavor it is. She gives Suzy a pineapple one. Suzy tries it, says the flavor, and then goes and sits back down. That is the same for everyone, then it is Jhonny's turn. The teacher hands him a honey flavor one. Jhonny chews it for a while, then says,
"Teacher, I don't know what it is.". The teacher tries to give him a hint and says, "it's what your parents call each other when you are asleep". Immediately the boy behind Jhonny screams, "Spit it out Jhonny, it's an asshole!!!"
This boy heard from a friend that if you tell an adult, "I know the whole truth," they will be all weird. So he went home and told his mom, "I know the whole truth," and she gave him $20 and said to keep quiet.
Pleased, when his dad got home, he said, "I know the whole truth," and his dad gave him $40 and said, "Don't tell Mom." Really pleased, he met the mailman the next day and said, "I know the whole truth." Then the mailman got down on his knee, opened his arms, and said, "Come to daddy."
What do Hostess Twinkies and the cock of a gay man have in common?
🐓 🐓 🐓 🐓 🐓 🐓 🍦 🍦 🍦 🍦 🍦 🍦 🍨 🍨 🍨 🍨
What did Hitler and Usain Bolt have in common?
They both finished the races.
Bully: Hey virgin!
Victim: I'm not a virgin, just ask your sister.
Bully: I don't have a sister, dumbass.
Victim: Just wait nine months.
I bought a coffin on Black Friday. It was a killer deal.
We all know that Lincoln and Kennedy are the most open-minded presidents in the world.
Why did the depressed kid cross the road?
To get hit by a car.
Teacher: "I was an orphan when I was a kid."
Students: "oof"
Teacher: "Is anyone missing?"
Students: "Yeah, your parents."
What sound does a 747 make when it bounces?
Boeing boeing boeing.