Worst Jokes Ever
Hear about the restaurant called karma? There is no menu: You get what you deserve.
Your mama so fat, when she asked for a water bed they put a blanket over the Pacific Ocean.
Why doesn't my egg want to crack?
Because I hate my egg-sistence.
I wanted to be an astronaut, but my parents always told me when I was little that the sky was the limit.
What's the difference between a school and an ISIS military base? Don't ask me, I only fly the drone.
I just shed my pants.
What do you call a blonde in the freezer?
Her parents named her Cindy, so we should probably continue to call her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.
Why did the snail paint a big "S" on his car?
Because he wanted people to say look at that S-car go when he rolled by.
Why didn't anyone react when the king farted? -- It was a noble gas.
Did you hear about the deaf man who got a ticket?
It's OK, he didn't either!
I've decided to marry a pencil. I can't wait to introduce my parents to my bride 2B.
Why do heterosexual men and heterosexual women believe that bisexual men don't exist because male bisexuality doesn't exist? Because it doesn't cycle 🚲.
What's the difference between a hamster and a cigarette?
They're both harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.
I found Nemo.
He was tasty.
Why wouldn’t Mr. Bee 🐝 push Ms. Bee 🐝 away?
Because he loves his honey.
Yo mama is so fat, her car has stretch marks.
"Your ass must be jealous of all that shit that comes out of your mouth."
Every zodiac sign has a hairstyle except for Cancer.
I go in to get a prostate exam. I'm nervous, but the doctor says it's all natural and needs to be done.
So he pulls down my pants and sticks one finger up my ass. I feel it go deeper inside, feeling for abnormalities.
That's when I realize his hands are on my shoulders.
Person: Where do I commit suicide?
Dog: Roof.
Person: Good idea.