Worst Jokes Ever

Wanna know what is offensive? I don't know, ask feminist (sans undertale).

In America, planes hit the Twin Towers. In Soviet Russia, Twin Towers hit planes.

If you had 10 chicken nuggets and Jimmy tried to steal one, what would you have? 10 chicken nuggets and a dead Jimmy.

I had a very long dream that I was eating the most juiciest, tastiest meal I'd ever eaten in my life. Then when I woke up, my wife was gone.

I told my friend that someone accused him of blowing dead bears. I said I defended him by responding that I saw 1 get up and walk away.

My mother was so sad after my grandpa's death, she went into the bathroom with my uncle, and I could hear their moans of sorrow. She then surprised me later on, saying that she was pregnant.

All my jokes are cries for help.

INCLUDING THIS ONE.

I got kicked out of the hospital.

Apparently, the sign "Stroke patients here" meant something totally different.

My little sister called my name a few minutes after I put her to bed. She told me that there was something in her closet. I checked the closet and told her there was nothing there, but told her she could still sleep in my room with me. I was thinking that was the best way to get her out of the room before he noticed I saw him.

What do you call a stalker stalking himself? A narcissist.

A shark can swim faster than me, but I can run faster than a shark.

So in a triathlon, it would all come down to whoever can ride a bike the fastest.

I heard the man who invented Autocorrect died; may he rest in peace.

I just read in the news that tons of Americans are sending their old clothes to poor people in Africa.

Seems like a waste of time in my opinion. I've never seen an African with a 52 inch waist.

What did Trump rename the Presidential plane?

Answer: Hair Force One!

I would tell a dad joke, but it already left me.

How do you stop a baby from drowning?

-Lift up your foot.

My first high-school football game was a lot like my first time having sex...

I was bloody and sore at the end, but at least my dad came.

What is white with red all over?...

JFK.

I have just started a sexual relationship with a blind woman. It's very rewarding, but quite challenging.

Took me ages to get her husband's voice right.

Yo mama's so stupid that she studied for her eye test.