Worst Jokes Ever
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding only half a worm.
What do you call a united cow?
United Steaks.
Nobody notices your pain, tears, struggles, but why do they notice your mistakes?
Roses are red. The sun isn't shining. My mental state is rapidly declining.
What's the difference between a baby and a potato? 140 calories.
What do you say to your sister when she's crying? -- "Are you having a crisis?"
Roses are red, violets are blue, I've got a bouquet in my pants for you.
Yo mama so fat, Thanos had to snap twice.
"So I asked a genie if he could grant me this wish. I wished to be like Michael Jackson. The next day, I was in a playground full of little kids."
I’m so annoyed by those people who just believe in anything they hear. This is a conversation I had a few days ago.
Idiot: "The moon landing was faked! So unbelievably fake!" Me: "You believe in the moon? Stupidass."
Q: Do you know why transgender people are good at being carpenters?
A: Because they have more experience cutting off their wood.
what do you call a lazy gay?
someone who comes straight out of the closet, and goes straight to the couch.
What's white with black spots? A cotton field from above.
My friend was a victim of a school shooting once, but he couldn't tell if they were in the library because of the suppressor on his AR.
Michael Jackson and Tonya Harding got together back in the day for a horse racing venture. Tonya says, "I'll handle the handicapping, you go ride the 3-year-olds."
Trump is going too far.
He deported a printer because it didn't have papers.
Yo mama so ugly people dress up as her at Halloween.
Why was the orphan so successful?
They told him, "Go big or go home," he only had one option.
I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday. Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.
I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant, but apparently it just changes the color of the baby.