Worst Jokes Ever
Roses are red,
I don't know what is brass.
I tell myself,
"Don't touch grass."
I told my friend yesterday he's literally my dad.
He didn't show up for the rest of the year.
What is an orphan's favorite event? Homecoming.
I started crying when my mom was cutting up onions.
Onions was a good dog.
What animal gets easily offended? The chicken; they always get roasted.
Why did the orphan get an iPhone X for his birthday?
Because it has no home button.
My dad told me to do what he did best, so I left.
Welcome to the roadkill cafe, where yesterday's crash is today's cash.
Why can't depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home!
A serial killer was at my house and killed all my family but me. Why? I was in the living room.
What do sloths and depressed people have in common? They both hang off trees.
What is a group of depressed kids called? The suicide squad.
The other day my friend messaged me saying, "bro I have two pieces of bad news for you." I told him to combine them. He replied with, "your girlfriend is cheating on both of us."
Why don't Chinese children believe in Santa?
Because they're the ones making the toys.
What do you call a rapper in a wheelchair?
Young Boy Never Walk again.
Bully: I'm going to hurt you so bad.
You: Well... your IQ is the same amount of teeth I'm about to knock out, so... you're so dumb that you can't even do that.
And your IQ is 5.
I was in cooking class and my teacher said, "Does anyone know what a chopping board is similar to?"
Me and my friend just glanced at each other and burst out laughing.
Long story short, the teacher understood the joke, and now we are both in daily therapy. 😭💀
What’s the difference between a bird and a human?
“We don’t eat with our peckers.”
My friends and I were talking about this really ugly girl at our school. For some reason, she had the same name as me.
Three men walk into heaven at the same time. They all live in the same city. God asks the first man, "How did you die?" The man says, "I have a heart condition, and I've been suspecting my wife of cheating for some time. Anyway, I get home from work and I see my wife on the bed and a man hanging off the balcony. I get so mad and stomp on the guy's fingers! He falls into a bush, so I throw a refrigerator on him." God asks the next man, "How did you die?" The man says, "I was cleaning the windows, and then this crazy man starts stomping on my fingers! Luckily, I fall safely in a bush! But then a refrigerator falls on me!" God asks the third man, and he says, "I was the one in the fridge!"
What's the difference between Princess Diana and Thomas the Tank Engine?
Thomas came out the other end of the tunnel.
Chuck Norris used to be an orphan.
Because some families were too scared of his bravery to adopt him.
Why can't two Chinese people have a white baby? Because "two wongs don't make a white."