Worst Jokes Ever
How do you give a redneck a circumcision? Kick his sister in the jaw.
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.
Your forehead [is] so big that if I drew an H on it, Kobe could have landed there.
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to the man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
What's the hardest thing about being a rapist?
My dick.
My ex-girlfriend got hit by a bus. I also lost my bus driver's license.
Girlfriend: "One day I will marry and a lot of men will be sad that day."
Boyfriend: "Wow, how many men do you plan to marry?"
What do you call an apartment full of Black people?
A crackhouse.
Why can't you tell anyone about space?
Because it's too out of this world!
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
My sisters ask me, "Are you really a virgin?" I say, "That's nun of your business!"
An attractive man and a blonde meet in an elevator.
"Where are you heading today?" the man asks.
"I'm going down to give blood."
"How much do you get paid for giving blood?"
"About $30."
"Wow," says the man, "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100."
The woman, slightly annoyed, gets off the elevator. The next day, the man and woman meet in the elevator again.
"Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?"
"Sperm bank," she mumbles with her mouth full.
Three men walk into heaven at the same time. They all live in the same city. God asks the first man, "How did you die?" The man says, "I have a heart condition, and I've been suspecting my wife of cheating for some time. Anyway, I get home from work and I see my wife on the bed and a man hanging off the balcony. I get so mad and stomp on the guy's fingers! He falls into a bush, so I throw a refrigerator on him." God asks the next man, "How did you die?" The man says, "I was cleaning the windows, and then this crazy man starts stomping on my fingers! Luckily, I fall safely in a bush! But then a refrigerator falls on me!" God asks the third man, and he says, "I was the one in the fridge!"
How does Moses prepare his tea? -- Hebrews it.
I asked my wife if I could use toys during sex last night. You should've seen her face when I rolled my Hot Wheels across her tits.
What do altar boys and strippers have in common? Father issues.
What's an emo's favorite game?
Hangman.
Why is it so easy to bully an orphan? What are they gonna do, tell their mum?
Two kids were beating up a kid in an alley, so I stepped in to help. He didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.
What did the Indian boy say to his mother as he left for school? -- "Mumbai!"