Worst Jokes Ever
I call my friends Dodo birds. Because they don't exist.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
How do you make any salad into a caesar salad?
Stab it twenty-three times.
What is different about priests and acne?
Acne waits until you're 13 to cum on your face.
Me: Hey, how are you?
Depression: I'm doing fine. We are just looking for a home :3
Insomnia: Mommy, can we get a home?
Anxiety: Insomnia, wait for mommy to finish.
Depression: Anyway, here is my resume!
Me: Okie, thank you. Ok... mhmmm... WOW! Okie, this is a nice resume! (Didn't Read it...)
Depression: Also, I have two more friends that want to move in too!
Me: Ok, and their names?
Depression: Their names are: PTSD and Trauma!
Me: Ok, they seem fine (Doesn't know about them)
Depression: Okie, here is the money (a penny :(). Thank you, we will call you if we need anything.
Me: Ok, see you soon! :3
Me now hates my life. :)
Are you a toaster? Because I want to take a bath with you.
Old soviet joke.
"Who is your mother?" "Our great Soviet country." "Who is your father?" "Our dear comrade Stalin." "What's your greatest desire?" "Becoming an orphan."
The teacher of the ELA class said that whoever answers this next question gets to go home. Then a kid sitting next to the window threw his bag out the window. Teacher asked who threw that, he said, "Me, I'm going home." Before he could move the teacher pointed a ruler at him and said, "At the end of this ruler is an idiot," he got suspended for asking which end.
What's the Twin Towers' favorite Minecraft biome?
A plains biome.
Why was the staircase so sad?
Because everyone walks on them.
How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just sit in the dark and bitch.
How do computers get drunk?
They take a screenshot.
What's the difference between my car and a hooker? I park my car in a garage instead of leaving it on the side of the road.
My girlfriend is like treasure to me.
You need a shovel to find her.
The shovel is a ground breaking invention.
*Slaps and laughs*
Allan: What are you doing Saturday night?
Museum girl: Committing suicide.
Allan: What about Friday night?
Why do strippers never care about things?
Because the last time they gave a fuck, it was for $20 an hour.
There is nothing funnier than my life. (Evan 2020)
Q: Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?
A: He only comes once a year.
If you want KFC, pour water on a poor person outside our restaurant and film it.