Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Punishment

245 views ·

Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly. I told her that, as a punishment, she won't eat butter for 1 month.

Today I saw her killing a cockroach in the kitchen. I told her "nice try".

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  • Bathroom

    60 views ·

    So I was at home, and I went to take a shower, and I accidentally walked in on my brother having sex with some girl. So I left. A couple minutes later, I needed my headphones to listen to music, so I asked my mom where she was. She told me she was in the shower. Our house only has one bathroom. Sweet home Alabama.

    Dictate

    460 views ·

    One day Little Johnny's class is having an English lesson. The teacher asks them, "Who can use the word intelligent in a sentence?" Little Mary says, "The teacher is very intelligent." The teacher asks them, "Who can use the word fashionable in a sentence?" Little Suzie says, "They are very fashionable." The teacher says, "Johnny, why don't you have a go? Use the word dictate in a sentence." Johnny thinks for a moment and then says, "Last night I heard Daddy asking Mommy 'Darling how does my dictate'"

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  • Eye

    11 views ·

    What did one shoe say to the other shoe when they were fighting?

    I wanna sock you in the eye so bad!

    Day

    32 views ·

    One day I got home and told my girlfriend, "I cheated on you." She replied with, "F**k you!" I then said, "But you won't, that's why I cheated on you."

    Priest

    2,449 views ·

    What's the difference between McDonald's and a priest?

    Nothing... They both stick their meat in ten-year-old buns.

    Skeleton

    17 views ·

    What did the skeleton say to the other? "Wow, that song, 'Spooky Scary Skeletons,' really does send chills down my spine!"

    Friend

    92 views ·

    My best friend looked at my arms and said, "Stop, sh*t, it's bad," then turns right around and says, "You look like a tiger."

    So from here on out I am now Finn, the self-harming tiger.

    Zoo

    14 views ·

    I went to the zoo the other day. The only animal there was a dog. It was a Shih-tzu (shit zoo).

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