Worst Jokes Ever
It's statistically proven that 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape
What do you get from a dwarf cow?
Condensed milk.
"Son, I found a condom in your room."
"Gee, thanks, Grandpa!"
"Why are you calling me Grandpa?"
"Because I couldn't find it yesterday."
Why was Santa happy?
Because he had 3 hoes.
There is a feminist group in my town.
It is called Gal-Qaeda.
(I actually got this from The Simpsons, so credit to the show.)
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? You slap her on the ass and tell her to get back to work.
If messyourself was on the Titanic, he would die first.
"What’s your name, son?" the principal asked his student. The kid replied, “D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir.” "Do you have a stutter?" the principal asked. The student answered, “No sir, my dad has a stutter but the guy who registered my name was a real jerk.”
I think my family is racist.
I brought a black girl home, and my wife went crazy and told me to pack my bags, and my kids were upset.
What did the orphan say to the other? "Quickly Robin, to the Batmobile!"
Why do heterosexual men like to receive an anonymous blowjob at an adult bookstore? Because they don't want gay men and bisexual men in the LGBT community to find out that they also like getting their cocks sucked by men, but they don't want gay and bisexual men in the LGBT community to find out.
What do women and airplanes have in common?
A cockpit.
So there's a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says, "Step on a crack and you break your mother's back." The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother's back breaking.
The little girl's father looks in terror, she then says, "Step on a line and you break your father's spine." The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out "OW MY SPINE!" The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.
What do you call a suicide bomber in a wheelchair?
An RCXD (remote control explosive).
I downloaded Fruit Ninja so I can cut fruit instead of myself.
What makes a 360 no-scope and JFK's assassination similar?
Both were some of the greatest achievements in history to achieve.
Why do strippers never care about things?
Because the last time they gave a fuck, it was for $20 an hour.
What do you call a lost Indian woman? Ms. Singh.
The teacher asked, "Why are you in school on a Saturday?"
I told her my mum told me to go to hell.
What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a bicycle and a badly dressed man on a unicycle? Attire.