Worst Jokes Ever
Me: why are Americans so good at rubix cubing? Friend: why? Me: they have a history of separating colors.
I will always remember my dad's last words....
"15 dollars and I'll jump."
What do milk and Make-A-Wish kids have in common? They both have expiration dates.
Sir William Herschel discovered Uranus in 1781, 200 years before you were born. How did he do that?
How do you get more presents from Santa? You tickle his sack.
What does a wizard say when doing drugs? Injecto Patronum!
Wanna hear something bad? A pile of dead babies.
Wanna hear something worse? The one at the bottom is still alive.
Wanna hear something worse than that? He has to eat his way out.
Wanna hear something that's the worst? He comes back for seconds.
It was just a prank, and stop calling our humor "plane." In our opinion, it's fire.
Why do orphans play a lot of tennis?
Cause that's the only way they get love.
Everyone laughs when a bully teases someone, but no one laughs when that person commits suicide.
My friend made this joke (so I’m going steal it). I’m surrounded by fat people, oh wait... it’s just one.
Did you hear about the homosexual letter? It only came in male boxes.
A little known rule: You cannot be circumcised if you are running for political office in the US.
You need to be a complete dick.
How do you know when your wife is cheating on you?
She comes home with sparkles on her face.
What does my head and hell have in common?
They both have demons in them.
I asked a Scottish friend of mine how many sexual partners he'd had. He started counting, but fell asleep.
A recent study has found that beer contains female hormones.
A test group of 100 male volunteers each consumed six pints of beer, and the effect was they all talked endlessly about nothing and couldn’t drive for shit.
Doctor: What makes you feel depressed?
Me: I used to work at the World Trade Center, before the plane hit.
Doctor: A lot of people fell to pieces after that.
What's in a Michael Jackson hotdog?
A 50-year-old piece of meat.
A 12-year-old bun.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I'm stroking my dick and thinking of you.