Worst Jokes Ever
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is.
You must be depression, because you make me want to kill myself ;)
What’s the difference between my lawn and my wrists?
Nothing, I cut both of them.
One time this kid came back from school and said, "Mom I have one good news and one bad news, which one do you wanna hear first?" And his mom said, "Good news please," and the boy said, "I got 100% on my math test today." and his mom gave him a hug, and the boy said, "Now to the bad news, I LIED!"
What do emos like to do when they're sad?
They play violin on their wrists.
What's a Mexican's favorite video game?
Borderlands.
Moms have Mother's Day and dads have Father's Day. What do single guys have?
Palm Sunday.
What's better than roses on a piano?
Tulips on an organ.
How does the next train stop for a depressive person? Death.
Why do heterosexual men like to receive an anonymous blowjob at an adult bookstore? Because they don't want gay men and bisexual men in the LGBT community to find out that they also like getting their cocks sucked by men, but they don't want gay and bisexual men in the LGBT community to find out.
My wife accused me of being a cross-dresser, so I packed up her clothes and left.
Where did little Lucy go during the bombing?
Everywhere.
Your hairline shape is so badly shaped like a M, me and my friends thought it was McDonald's.
How to fall down stairs.
Step 1. Step 2. Step 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.
Why do the French eat snails?
They don't like fast food.
What did the orphan say to the other orphan?
"Get into the Batmobile, Robin."
yo mama so fat she went swimming with the whales and sang "weeeeeee areeeee fammmilllyyyyy!!!!!!!"
What does a cigar and a hamster have in common?
Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
Orphan boy: "Your dad is probably disappointed in you. I mean, look at you."
Me: "Well, at least my parents kept me. Where are yours?"
What's the difference between a hooker and a mosquito?
The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.