Worst Jokes Ever

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

What happens when a computer thinks it knows better than a human?

Ask Boeing.

Proof that 9/11 isn't a government plot.

It worked.

What do you call a boy Panera Bread?

Panera Balls.

Why is leather armor better for sneaking than steel armor?

Leather armor is made of hide.

One day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa smoking his cigarettes. Little Johnny asked, "Grandpa, can I smoke some of your cigarettes?" His grandpa replied, "Can your penis reach your asshole?" "No," said Little Johnny. His grandpa replied, "Then you're not old enough."

The next day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa drinking beer. He asked, "Grandpa, can I drink some of your beer?" His grandpa replied, "Can your penis reach your asshole?" "No" said Little Johhny. "Then you're not old enough," his grandpa replied.

The next day, Little Johnny was eating cookies. His grandpa asked, "Can I have some of your cookies?" Little Johnny replied, "Can your penis reach your asshole?" His grandpa replied, "It most certainly can!" Little Johnny replied, "Then go fuck yourself."

No matter how kind you are, German children are kinder.

Give a blind kid a gun and tell him it's a hair dryer.

I hate snow. It's white and on my land.

Q: What do you call a group of transgender women?

A: The X-Men.

A man walked into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian responds with, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back!"

Why did the rape victim think it was Christmas?

Because her clothes were torn off like wrapping paper.

There was always that one specific person you thought ruined your life, but it turns out your life has always been ruined by you being in it.

So this blind man was walking down the street with his stick, right? And he walked past this fish market, he took a deep breath and said, "WWOAAH GOODMORNING LADIES!"

What's a depressed person's favorite drink?

Depresso expresso.

JK, it's bleach.

Sometimes, stairs get me down.

Why do Emos love Christmas? So they can pretend they're ornaments and hang themselves on trees. Hope you liked it, happy holidays!

Why are there no pharmacies in Africa?

Because you can't have medicine on an empty stomach.

A son walks up to his dad and says, "Dad! I just had sex for the first time."

The dad goes, "Great! Wanna sit down and talk about it?"

The son says, "I can't sit right now, my butt is very sore."

Stephen Hawking was one of the best scientists ever. Now he's walking up the steps of he... No, he's not walking up the steps of heaven.