Worst Jokes Ever
What is the best part about Alabama prostitutes?
Family comes first.
Miscarriage jokes aren't funny, just cut it out.
The S in America stands for safe.
My brother called me short and ugly, so I called him an ambulance.
Man, my Muslim friend's the bomb!
What commitment does a pimp make to each new hoe he turns out?
Answer: He will always be there for her after the break-in period.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?... one gets picked.
Why do orphans drink water with cereal?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
I was crying when my dad was cutting onions.
Onions was such a good dog.
I went to the National Redhead Meeting yesterday.
Not a soul in sight.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of disabled children.
Why do orphans have to have customized phones? Because there aren't home buttons.
What do you call it when a person with Down syndrome gets friendzoned?
Chromozoned.
Why did Cinderella get kicked out of Disneyland?
Because she sat on Pinocchio's face and said, "Lie, bastard, lie!"
I still remember my grandpa's last words; "Is that loaded?"
I hooked up with the groom at my uncle's wedding.
Q: What has two wings and a halo?
A: An Asian phone call, "Wing, Wing, Halo?"
I'm better than you in every single way... I even have an extra chromosome.
A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner.
The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.
"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" the man asked.
"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said. "I spend all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on green fees at a golf course instead of food?" the man asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20 years!"
"Will you spend the money on a woman in the red light district instead of food?" the man asked.
"What disease would I get for ten lousy bucks?" exclaimed the homeless man.
"Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty and I probably smell pretty disgusting."
The man replied, "That's okay. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up beer, fishing, golf and sex."
Teacher: "If you don't understand, ask your parents at home."
Orphan: "I don't have neither of those :c"