Worst Jokes Ever
Yo mama so ugly, when she was born, the doctor tried to put her back in.
When do astronauts eat lunch?
At launch time.
Why was the ant so confused?
All of its uncles were ants.
I'd hit you, but I don't want to go to jail for animal abuse.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to find their dad again.
What do K-mart and Michael Jackson have in common?
They both have boys' pants half off.
If you tell a girl they're pretty, they won't believe you. If you tell them they're ugly, they'll never forget it.
Elephants never forget.
What is the second hardest thing in the morning?
Getting up.
What's the difference between necrophilia and a choking fetish? 15 seconds.
What does the "f" stand for in orphan?
Family.
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
An apple gets picked.
Today I was asked to go out by 20 girls. -- I was in the women's bathroom.
Wanna hear a good joke?
My dad’s love for me.
Secretly, I’m a woman catfishing gay men on Grindr. When a notification from the app went off, my son told me, “I’ve heard that sound. Daddy has that game, too!”
Why did Michael Jackson call Boyz II Men? He thought they were a delivery service.
What is a tuba plus tuba? -- Fourba.
My opinion on abortion is very divided. Like, on the one hand, I like the idea of killing babies, but I'm not really into this thing about women being able to make choices.
What happened when the semicolon broke grammar laws?
It was given two consecutive sentences.
The furniture store keeps calling me back... But all I wanted was that one nightstand.
How many times does 43 go into 8?
Get in the van and find out.