Worst Jokes Ever
I'm a rapist.
Why does Mexico not have a good athletics team? Because anyone who can run or jump is already over the wall.
My sisters ask me, "Are you really a virgin?" I say, "That's nun of your business!"
I hate Russian dolls. They're so full of themselves.
My only friend who actually cares: "Stop making suicide jokes, I’m really concerned!"
Me: Okay, I’ll cut it out.
Why are gay people bad at hide and seek?
Because they're always coming out of the closet.
Why was the dog stealing shingles?
He wanted to be a woofer.
Why do Republican men hate transgender people?
Because they lost a dick-measuring contest to a ladyboy in Thailand!
What do depressed people and Apple's have in common?
They both hang from trees.
A man looks at his friend and says, "If you and a friend go camping and you two get really drunk, and in the morning you wake up with a condom in your butt, would you tell anyone?" The friend says in a disgusted tone, "No." So the man says, "Okay, let's go camping."
Why do mermaids wear seashells?
They are too big for “B” shells, and too small for “D” shells.
A woman went out on a date and said, “I’m thirty-one with the body of a sixteen-year-old.” The man responded, “Wanna show me? 😏” The woman took him back to her house and opened her freezer and said, “Take a look.”
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer?
I give a fuck if my computer crashes.
If I'm racist to everybody, am I even racist?
What's the only thing Mexicans can unwrap on Christmas? Tamales.
Are you an orphanage?
Why?
Because I wanna put my kids in you.
Why doesn’t Pakistan have any football teams?
Every corner they get, they open a shop on it!
Chuck Norris can pick an apple from an orange tree and make the best lemonade you've ever tasted.
What is a prisoner's favorite punctuation?
A period.
Why?
Because it marks the end of a sentence.
Stephen Hawking walked into a bar...