Worst Jokes Ever
I got sent to the principal's office for lighting the kid in the wheelchair on fire and calling him hot wheels.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't know why I am still alive for you.
What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs ;)
What's the difference between a Catholic hospital and Michael Jackson's Children's Hospital?
No seriously, what is it?
Why can't an orphan be gay? It has no one to call daddy.
What's so similar between a pregnant 14 year old and the sperm inside her? They're both thinking, "Oh shit, my mum is gonna kill me!"
A lady weightlifter goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, I have a confession." The doctor asks, "What is that?" She replies, "I've been using steroids and....I think I've grown a penis." The doctor looks at her and asks, "Anabolic?" There's an awkward silence then she replies, "No, just a penis."
Why doesn't Mexico compete in the Olympics?
Because all the Mexicans who can run, jump, and swim are in the U.S.
I’ve always been a bit insecure about having thicker thighs.
Now I realize it allows me to fit more scars!
Why did the transgender girl want to be a boy?
Because momma never raised no pussy.
What's the best thing about a blowjob?
- The silence.
What is Forrest Gump’s email password?
1forrest1.
Why are lesbians bad at math?
Because they can't multiply.
You can't be short and depressed because you are compressed.
Your forehead [is] so big that if I drew an H on it, Kobe could have landed there.
You wanna know why I love trains?
They end my suffering.
I have no friends, but then I realize my true friends are anxiety and depression.
I identify as kilometers per second because I want to km/s.
What song do orphans hate the most? "We are family."
What do you call an all-you-can-eat buffet for a pedophile? A school bus.