Worst Jokes Ever
On the inside of a fire hydrant you'll find H2O. What's on the outside? K9P.
What show does an orphan hate the most? Modern Family.
What do you call a born-again heteroflexible male that is a Christian nationalist who thinks he is bisexual when the LGBT community knows that he is bicurious and that he is on steroids and that the LGBT community knows that he is not telling the truth about that? He is a gay man that is in the closet. He should be forced out of the closet by gay men in the LGBT community by any means necessary if gay men in the LGBT community still want to defend the wall of separation of church and state by any means necessary.
BLM British Lives Matter.
Why did the girls sit on the clock?
To be on time.
Stephen Hawking is so lucky to go to heaven.
Oh never mind, here comes the stairway.
What is a pedophile's favorite part of a hockey game?
Before the first period.
Yo mama so poor she walked into an elevator and thought it was a mobile home.
Why is Sam Ryan a redditor? Because he is.
A guy goes onto a rooftop bar and is sitting next to a guy who says he’s drinking a magical drink. He asks, “What’s so magical about it?” The guy drives a car and flies it around the rooftop. The other tries, but falls off and dies.
The bartender shakes his head and says, “Y’know, you’re a real jerk when you’re drunk, Superman.”
Why can’t kids at an orphanage play hide and seek?
Because no one’s looking for them.
Are you a grave, 'cause I want you on me?
I told a blind man to read more, so he grabbed my arm and read the whole dictionary.
Why did the blondie put her iPad in the blender? To make apple juice.
You're so flat, you make pancakes look thiccc.
You'd think the Catholic Church would be thankful for condoms, less DNA evidence.
Just because someone is white doesn't mean they are bad.
Sure, white Americans all treat Trump like a deity and are proud of their heritage of enslaving blacks.
But Canadians and Australians don't throw a hissy fit every time they see someone not white, and they don't think Europe is a country.
What's the similarity between women and car parking spaces? The good ones are always taken, and sometimes when nobody's looking, you slip in the disabled one.
A foreign man came to America not knowing a word of English and right away began looking for a job. He became a chorus teacher and learned to say, "Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi!" After that he joined the Army and learned to say, "Yes sir!" After that he worked at a restaurant and learned to say, "Forks and knives, forks and knives!" After that he worked at a candy store and picked up the words, "Goody-goody gumdrops!"
A few weeks later, there was a murder in the area and he was the first person to be interrogated by the police. The interrogation went as follows:
Policeman: "Who killed the man?" Foreign man: "Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi!" Policeman: "Did you kill the man?" Foreign man: "Yes sir!" Policeman: "What did you use to kill him?" Foreign man: "Forks and knives, forks and knives!" Policeman: "You're under arrest." Foreign man: "Goody-goody gumdrops!"
James Woods, starring in the newest movie: "September 11, two thousand fun."