Worst Jokes Ever

What do you call the penises of gay men that are in wheelchairs?

Meals on wheels 😋😍🌭🌭🌭🌭🌭

I was once friends with a schizophrenic emo. He tried high-fiving a tree, but it only left him hanging.

Alright, riddle me this: I am loud and obnoxious, I like music that rhymes. I'm a fraction of the population, but commit half the crimes! What am I?

what's the difference between a baby and an onion?

I cry when I chop up an onion.

How do you stop a baby from crawling? Nail its hand to the floor.

What's white and can't climb a tree?

A refrigerator.

So there's a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says, "Step on a crack and you break your mother's back." The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother's back breaking.

The little girl's father looks in terror, she then says, "Step on a line and you break your father's spine." The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out "OW MY SPINE!" The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.

A limbless man sat on the side of a lake everyday. He had no hands or legs.

One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay.

He replied, "No." The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?" The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever." So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked. "No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before." The woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?" The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fucked."

The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"

I love vegans because they save more meat for us.

My mother was so sad after my grandpa's death, she went into the bathroom with my uncle, and I could hear their moans of sorrow. She then surprised me later on, saying that she was pregnant.

A wife and husband had been on a strict diet, and the wife said, "You know, we've been good about our diet. Let's have a cheat night tonight." The wife came home with KFC and Wendy's. The husband came home with Sylvia from the office.

Science flies you to the moon.

Religion flies you into towers.

A girl walks into an Adult Store. "Hi, I want to buy that red dildo right there."

Cashier: "That's a fire extinguisher, you whore."

I got mad at my sister's boyfriend, so I fucked his girl.

I got sent to the principal's office for lighting the kid in the wheelchair on fire and calling him hot wheels.

Where was Moses when the lights went out? - In the dark!

What do you call a Muslim sleepover?

Osamas in Pajamas.

How did Fortnite record their henchman sounds?

They asked a bunch of kids with Down syndrome to film a documentary.

So skinny you have to run around in the shower to get wet.

Did you hear about the homosexual letter? It only came in male boxes.