Worst Jokes Ever
Can orphans eat at a family restaurant?
What do you call an idiotic cow?
A mis-steak!
What do you call a smart blonde?
Nonexistent.
They should bring Michael Jackson back from the dead so he can star in the Peter Pan horror movie.
Q: Why do Norwegian ships have bar codes on them?
A: So when they come into port they can Scan-Da-Navy-In!
I named my dog "5 miles" so when I walk him, I can say I walked 5 miles.
Random guy: I ran over 5 miles.
How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.
I just found out I'm colorblind. News came out of the purple.
A man gets an email from his doctor.
"Sorry for the delay on getting your prescription, it'll be at your house tomorrow."
The man thinks to himself, "Oh shit! Then what have I been taking?"
Why did Wi-Fi and the computer get married?
Because they had a connection.
"When is the best time to commit suicide?"
Ate a Glock in the morning.
"Knock Knock!" "Who's there?" "It's Dave!"
"Dave who?"
Dave bursts into tears, realizing that his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.
Why doesn’t the US want to play chess with the UK?
The US is already down 2 towers, and the UK has an unkillable queen.
I told a joke and someone said, "no one asked." Then I said, "no one would care to even ask."
Q: How can you tell that a pedophile likes music?
A: He rapes D minor.
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.
There are only 363 days in a year for orphans because Mother's Day and Father's Day don't count.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What's white and can't climb a tree?
A refrigerator.
Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.