Worst Jokes Ever
What has more brains than the Columbine students? The wall behind them, xD.
What's the difference between yes and no...
Nothing.
What's the difference between sex and rape? Some effective drugs.
Why was the orphan walking through the neighborhood? I don't know, either. It's not like he has a home to go to.
What do depressed people and Apple's have in common?
They both hang from trees.
What's the fastest thing on earth?
An Ethiopian with a McDonald's Voucher.
I was gonna say when you were born your mum saw you and screamed, but I remembered you were adopted...
You know some of these jokes took me 9 minutes and 11 seconds to realize. When I did, it hit me like a plane.
My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest, telling her we can get married once she makes her way out.
Why do rapists and pedophiles never win a race?
Because they always like to come in a little behind.
What's the one good thing about pedophiles? They slow down near schoolzones.
The American salute starts with your hand facing flat towards the ground on your head.
The British salute starts with your hand against your head just like the American salute.
The French salute starts with your hands in the air.
The Saudi salute starts with you being bent over with a camel tongue in your ass.
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it had its ion someone else.
Why do priests appreciate educated children?
They don't spit.
A hot girl wants to commit suicide and jump from a bridge when an ugly, smelly, homeless weirdo walks up to her. And he says, "Hey you hot babe, let's fuck." She just answers, "Get the fuck away you ugly bastard." The guy just laughs and says, "Alright, I'll wait down there."
I see, you guys jokers are SANS-ational!
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers, and says, "You guys should know your limits."
What do you call a disabled person who gets high?
Baked potato.
I'm shocked that Kanye West never tried to get Carrie Underwood's number after Carrie starred in a pro-Aryan ad for Almay.
Knock knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive you ♥️.