Worst Jokes Ever
When a cookie đȘ wins a race, what will the crowd say?
âChip Chip Hooray!â
What do babies and grenades have in common? They both make a loud noise when thrown.
My favorite place to make a bonfire? Orphanages, of course, silly!
Say all you want about priests, but at least they drive slowly in school zones.
My little sister called my name a few minutes after I put her to bed. She told me that there was something in her closet. I checked the closet and told her there was nothing there, but told her she could still sleep in my room with me. I was thinking that was the best way to get her out of the room before he noticed I saw him.
What do you call a selfie that is taken by an orphan?
Answer: A family photo.
A woman's husband has a yearly conference. The first night he's away from home, their teenage son Tommy comes into their room at night and starts to make love to her, but she knows that it can be dangerous to wake a sleepwalker, so she doesn't say anything. He does this every night for two weeks and stops when his father comes home.
She realizes she's pregnant and has a baby boy.
The next year the same thing happens, she gets pregnant again, and has a baby girl.
The third year, she's feeling very guilty, and after thirteen nights of incredible passionate lovemaking she sits Tommy down and tells him, "Every time your father leaves town on business, you sleepwalk into my bedroom and make love to me. Bobby and Anna aren't just your brother and sister, you're their father!"
Tommy said "You think I was sleepwalking?"
Q. Two gay guys are having sex, when suddenly the house catches fire. Who gets out of the house first, the guy on top or bottom?
A. The guy on the bottom because he already has his shit packed.
Never buy an epileptic kid light-up Sketchers.
Friends are like trees, they fall over if you hit them with an ax.
My girlfriend and I played Russian Roulette once.
We had sex afterwards even though she lost.
Do you know why 6 is afraid of 7? Why? Because 7 ate 9 (8).
Do you know why 10 is scared? Why? Because he is between 9 and 11.
Who says âwhite men can't jump?â They certainly did when the twin towers were falling.
You're so flat, you make pancakes look thiccc.
Do you know the TV show "Naked and Afraid?" Well, that's what my grandpa and I played when I was young.
My grandma always said, "Slow and steady wins the race."
She died in a fire.
I heard some twin brothers were going as buildings to the school costume contest, so I went as a plane. It didn't fly too well with people.
Why can't orphans eat a large bag of chips? Because they're family size.
I got my son a trampoline for his birthday. The ungrateful cunt sat in his wheelchair all day.
So I was mining off the coast of Canada and one of my coworkers found gold. I said, "AU, bring that over here!"