Worst Jokes Ever
What's worse than five dead babies in one garbage can?
- One dead baby in five garbage cans.
What is the coolest bath bomb for emos?
A toaster.
What do you call a Portuguese who commits a crime in Las Vegas?
Consensual Rapper 7.
Why did Jeffery Dahmer not eat old people?
He does not like roasted vegetables.
What's the most played game in Africa? Hunger Games.
What’s the difference between an orphan and cotton? One gets picked.
How does Hellen Keller drive?
With one hand on the wheel and the other on the road.
Who says Rihanna isn't charitable?
I mean, she found Johnny Depp for her fashion show by scouting for people living in tents down in Skid Row.
If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, girls would find me attractive.
What do you call a fish that smokes? "A puffer."
What do you call a creepy IT teacher?
A PDF file.
In honor of Michael Jackson, Starbucks is introducing the 'Jackson Latte'. It's 50 year old coffee, with 8 year old cream. Get it while supplies last.
Yo hairline be lookin' like Elmo's toe fungus.
What do you call a burning church?
Holy smokes.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
My life.
My life who?
My life is depressing...
Apparently, describing the beautiful city of Hiroshima as "The bomb" is not okay.
Three guys are on a plane: one is Asian, one is Mexican, and the other is an American. The pilot says, "There is too much weight on the plane, you all need to throw something off." So the Mexican threw out a burrito and said, "I have plenty of these where I come from." Then the Asian threw out some rice and said, "I have plenty of these in my country." The American threw out a bomb and said, "I have a lot of these in my country."
The plane crashes anyway, and the three men start to walk away from the crash. As they were walking, they found a boy crying. They asked him what was wrong, and he said, "A ton of burritos fell out of the sky and got me all messy." The men started walking away and soon enough they found another boy crying. They asked him what was wrong, and he said, "A ton of rice fell out of the sky and shredded all my clothes." The guys knew who did it but avoided the trouble. They kept on walking and found a kid laughing so hard he was on the ground, and they asked what had been so funny. The boy said, "MY GRANDPA FARTED AND THE HOUSE BLEW UP!!!"
When Bob the Builder looks at your hairline, he says, "We can't fix that."
I’m giving in my two week resignation to life... it’s not you ... it’s me!!!
When you accidentally wipe a little too hard and your finger goes up your bumhole, triggering flashbacks of when you were 10 and your uncle stayed a few weeks. 😂