Worst Jokes Ever
My wife said if I don't get off the computer, she's gonna slam my head into the keyboard, but I think I'll ajlkfsdhnvkwr;anhf.
Your forehead is so huge, you don't have dreams, you have movies. Follow me on Instagram: _zer0x3.
What do Rihanna and a DJ have in common?
They know how to get a beat down.
Girl: "...I like you... do you like me back?"
Me: "Nope."
Girl: *is depressed* "Oh okay...."
Me: "You never said \"love\"".
Girl: "Oh! well do you love me?"
Me: "Frick no."
So who did it? the I.S.S. teacher said.
1 hour before:
So let me get...
Random person: Wait, what? You BROKE UP WITH HER!
Me: I SWEAR, JHONNY, THIS IS THE 3RD TIME YOU BUTT INTO MY CONVERSATION! SO... HERE... YOU... GO! *punches*
Why did piglet go to the bathroom?
To search for Poo.
When Bubba's condom broke, he spent a lot of sleepless nights wondering if he was going to be an uncle or a dad.
What is the difference between a condom and an orphan?
One of them is used.
what's black and red and is a liquid?
my scars!
Teacher: This assignment is big.
Student (male): I have something that's big.
Teacher: Yeah, your forehead.
My wife told me to stop being an idiot.
I told her, "Which one do you want?"
What does Michael Jackson ask little boys before going to bed? Are you sleeping?
"Don’t be dumb, make sure she’s numb."
- Bill Cosby
what did the woman do after meeting up with a rapist?
sue the dating site for matching her with him.
My dad and I were fishing one day.
That’s where he met my stepmom.
So there was this kid being bullied by four other kids. I decided to step in.
He didn’t stand a chance against the five of us.
What's the difference between my dad and a hooker?
Hookers come back.
My mom told me to get off the computer or she will slam my head into the keyboard.
I don't think she lskdjfklsdjf.
Why did the guitarist get fired as a carpenter? He was shredding the floor...
What animal gets easily offended? The chicken; they always get roasted.