Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Sandwich

    • Three construction workers were sitting on the bridge that they were building, having their lunch break. The first guy says, "If I get a Vegemite sandwich again, I am going to jump off this bridge." The second guy says, "If I get a peanut butter sandwich again, I am going to jump off this bridge." The third guy says, "If I get another strawberry jam sandwich, then I am going to jump off this bridge." The next day, the first guy gets a Vegemite sandwich, the second guy gets a peanut butter sandwich, and the third guy gets a strawberry jam sandwich. All three guys jump off the bridge and die. The next day at their funerals, the first wife says, "If he just told me, I would have given him a different sandwich." The second guy's wife says, "It is all my fault. If only I knew." The third wife says, "I don't get it, he makes his own lunch."

  • 6

    • Orphan

    • Kid. What is an orphan's favorite breakfast?

    Teacher. What?

    Kid. Fruity pebbles with water.

    Teacher. Why water?

    Kid. Cause his dad never came back with the milk.

  • 4

    • Masturbation

    • I saw my sister masturbating with a carrot. I said, "Come on, I was gonna eat that later! Now it's just gonna taste like carrots!"

  • 4

    • Nun

    • In what ways do nuns and hoes have something in common?

    They both worship on their knees. They are both creatures of habit. They both take vows of poverty and obedience. Once chosen, neither can leave the life. They both swallow their hosts.

  • 71

    • Jesus

    • Why can’t Jesus be born in West Virginia?

    Because they couldn’t find three wise men or a virgin.

  • 1

    • Chuck Norris

    • Chuck Norris would have died a couple of years ago, but death hasn't built up the courage to tell him.

  • 1

    • Memory

    • A favorite childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather, that is until my mom took the urn away from me.

  • 1