Worst Jokes Ever
When Elsa said, "Let it go," you took it too seriously and let go of your hairline.
What is different about priests and acne?
Acne waits until you're 13 to cum on your face.
What do you call a cow who plays an instrument? -- A moosician.
What do you call a sex offender attending church? A priest.
Do you know why 6 is afraid of 7? Why? Because 7 ate 9 (8).
Do you know why 10 is scared? Why? Because he is between 9 and 11.
A son walks up to his dad and says, "Dad! I just had sex for the first time."
The dad goes, "Great! Wanna sit down and talk about it?"
The son says, "I can't sit right now, my butt is very sore."
Wanna hear a funny joke? Well, that was why you were here... Here's the joke: Your life :)
I told the emo girl that I bet she's jealous of the hanging lights in the gym.
How do you make a sad person jump?
A bridge.
I’m trying to find out what IDK means. Every time I ask someone, they say, "I don’t know."
My boss had the heart of a child.
In a jar. On his desk.
I'm jealous of your heart because it's pumping in you and I'm not.
A wise man once said, "don't think young, think tight." He was a priest.
What song did the Titanic victims listen to as they died?
Ice, Ice Baby!!
I told myself the other night after a long night at the bar that I should stop drinking.
But why should I listen to a drunk who talks to himself?
What do you call a rich Asian?
Cha-ching!
The joke is my life.
How did the dude with epilepsy win the break dancing competition?
He saw flashing lights.
So a woman walks into a magician's toy store and browses the collection. Among which was a black, phallic-looking object. She brings it to the counter and asks, "what's this?"
The cashier explains that it's a magical dildo that will listen to whatever you say, "fuck me in the ass," it'll float in the air and fuck you in the ass, "fuck me in the pussy," it'll float in the air and fuck you in the pussy, "faster," it'll go faster, "harder," it'll go harder. She bought this magical artifact and went home for a night of fun and pleasure.
After receiving several orgasms from the magical dildo, she'd had enough, and she told it to stop, but it didn't. The dildo continued to penetrate her, it would go harder and faster, but it refused to stop or slow down. In a panic, she ran over to her car and drove to the hospital to get it surgically removed. Her panic made her disregard the traffic rules, and she quickly found herself pulled over by a cop. As she pulled down her window, the cop leaned towards the door and asked "Do you have any idea how fast you were going!?", the woman tried to explain the situation, she told the officer about the magical dildo stuck in her pussy, but the officer didn't believe her, "magical dildo, my ass" he said, and the lady drove home.
How many fingers am I holding up?
Said the suicide bomber, referring to the countdown.