Worst Jokes Ever
What do Spiderman and an orphan have in common? They both have no way home.
Q: How can you tell that a pedophile likes music?
A: He rapes D minor.
What do you call emos that live in the Bahamas?
Tropical depressions.
How do you get my neighbor out of their tree?
You untie the rope.
Why don't feminists like to eat hotdogs? Because they remind them of men's dicks.
All my jokes are cries for help.
INCLUDING THIS ONE.
You know what relationships and life? They both come to an end.
Why did the wetback cross the river? To get to the US.
A lady weightlifter goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, I have a confession." The doctor asks, "What is that?" She replies, "I've been using steroids and....I think I've grown a penis." The doctor looks at her and asks, "Anabolic?" There's an awkward silence then she replies, "No, just a penis."
Today is sad. My sister got hit by a car, and I lost my license as a driver.
DO Not Touch - the worst thing you can read in Braille.
I went to my boss's funeral and knelt down to his coffin and whispered, "Whose late now?"
What's Gru's favorite Beyoncé lyric? "Who run the world... Gorls."
My friend was feeling low today, so I went up to her and said, "You know, I would hang in there if I was you, swaying through life." I don't think she likes me now.
A woman goes into labor with her child. The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of childbirth to the father. He asks if it is okay to use the new device. The couple agrees, and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. The man feels nothing. They then bump it up to 20%. He still feels nothing. They keep doing this until they have the machine up to 100%. The man still felt nothing so they go home happy, until they find the milkman dead on the porch.
What does a shark and a computer have in common?
They both have megabytes.
How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thin you slice them. -Hope Marie Lawson
Why did the Star Wars movies come out in the sequence 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3? -- Because Yoda was in charge of the sequence.
Why are Americans so dumb?
Because they shoot the ones that go to school.
Suicide is never the answer.
Suicide is the question.
The answer is yes.