Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Octopus

  • A man walks into a bar with his pet octopus and proudly claims the animal can play any musical instrument. The bartender pulls out a guitar from behind the bar and gives it to the octopus, which plays an amazing solo. Just then a Scotsman walks into the bar with a set of bagpipes. The octopus grabs the instrument and wrestles around with it on the ground, flailing about, making a horrible sound. The bartender says, "Hey, looks like he can't play that!" and the octopus says, "Play it? As soon as I get it's pajamas off, I'm gonna fuck it!"

  • 5
  • Sister

  • My friend told me he had a sister. I asked if she was hot, and he said she was 8. That wasn't my question.

  • 26
  • Suicide

  • I started debating whether or not suicide is a good option. Self-harm just hasn’t been cutting it lately.

    To whoever you are, you are loved.

    Brojob

  • Why does a heterosexual man swallow the sperm of another man after he has given him a brojob?

    Because of the cream filling inside, just like the individually wrapped cakes of Hostess Twinkies.

  • 0
  • Wheelchair

  • One day I was jogging through the park and I saw this lady sitting next to a pond in a wheelchair with no legs and arms and said "Why are you crying" she said she had never been hugged I gave her a hug and jogged away.The next day i saw her again and asked her the same question she said "I've never been kissed" I gave her a kiss and went, The third day i asked her thrice and she said I've never been fucked I picked her up from her wheelchair and throwed her in the pond and said your fucked now She didn't make it:)

  • 4
  • Name

  • My girlfriend told me she used to be a Christian. I asked her why she isn't anymore and she said she liked the name Christina better.

  • 3