Worst Jokes Ever
Why do orphans bully people?
Because they can't get suspended.
Contact Parent _______
What do you call a walkie-talkie for retards? -- A stumblie-mumblie.
What did the orphan ask Santa for? A good family.
I make science puns, but only periodically.
A man walks into a bar with a 44. Magnum and yells, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" The bartender answers, "Mate, you ain't got enough bullets."
Crush: "How much do you love me?"
Me: "Well, look at the stars outside."
Crush: "But it's morning."
Me: "Exactly."
Three kids one day found a magical slide. There was a sign next to it saying, “Whatever you wish for comes true once you slide down.” One kid stepped up and slid down. He wished for a river of chocolate, thus he swam in a chocolate river.
The second kid slid down and wished for a mountain of money. He then landed in a pile of money. The third kid went down and said, “Weeeeeeee!”
Why do Priests like playing the violin? They get to finger A minor.
How did the Shaggy defense become successful for JD Vance?
He was not banging on the sofa. Rather, he was banging the sofa!
I was exploring a haunted mansion when I encountered a ghost named Pristiano Penaldo. He asked if I supported Burnley as he wanted to statpad against me. Luckily, I pulled out my trusty Liverpool shirt, and he disappeared. Shame on you, Penaldo.
"Your pussy is sweeter than Mom's," Brother admired his sister.
"I know," replied Sister. "Father told me too."
What's red and in a corner?
A baby with a razor blade.
What's green and in a corner?
The same baby three weeks later.
I only cut to find out if I'm real or cake.
Joe mama is so fat, Dora can't explore her.
Why is it so hard to play hide-and-seek in an orphanage?
Because nobody is looking for them.
Something you can say at a job interview and during sex:
"I’m here for the new position?"
Two cannibals are eating a clown, when one cannibal looks up and asks the other cannibal: "Does he taste funny to you?"
I want to make a joke about Kobe, but it won't land well.
Why was Santa happy?
Because he had 3 hoes.
How do you get a depressed person out of a tree? You cut the rope...