Worst Jokes Ever
If you’re ever bored, then go outside and punch an orphan. Who are they going to tell, their parents?
I don't struggle with depression- like, at this point, I have it down. I'm good at depression.
I nailed my sister's... picture on the wall.
You dirty-minded bastard!
What's the best part about having emo grass?
It cuts itself!
Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one asks for a glass of H2O. The second one asks for a glass of H2O, too. The second one dies. Why?
A priest was driving down the road when a cop pulled him over.
The cop asked him if he had anything to drink. The priest said just water.
The cop said, "Then why can I smell wine?"
The priest said, "Good Lord, it happened again!"
Drop me in Afghanistan with a Dodge Challenger Super Stock, a Mexican named Jose, a 6 pack of Dr. Pepper, a golden SCAR, a pack of chimichangas, and an M4A1, and I'll have the Taliban saying the Pledge of Allegiance in 4 hours.
I was asked at school to draw a line across the paper, but instead I showed them my wrists.
Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs? -- Because the cow has the udder.
What’s a reverse exorcism?
It’s when the demon tells the priest to get out of the child.
Horror movies don't scare me. 5 missed calls from my mum scares me.
So, my friend and I were talking this time. I asked them what they would do if they ever met Rengoku. They said that they would probably like shake his hand or something, but I said I would lick his forehead. Wtf?
Me: My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday, and I had her wheelchair.
Me: Guess who came crawling right back?
Happiness.
What are women allergic to and always try to dodge?
Accountability.
Do you know what you first feel when you shoot someone?
The recoil.
What does a dad and the Twin Towers have in common? Once they're gone they never come back.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To end his pain and suffering.
What do you call a whore with a runny nose?
...Full!
The more suicidal people there are, the less suicidal people there are.