Worst Jokes Ever
What are the similarities between an emo and some Christmas lights?
They are both going to be hanging from a tree.
What did the planes say when they were smashing or passing the Twin Towers?
Smash.
(Get it?) 9/11.
what was sally's role in a football game?
the football ;-;
My friend was on a wheelchair... he committed suicide yesterday. I remember when I met him last time, he told us a good joke and I appreciated him and told him to become a stand-up comedian.
What's the difference between an onion and a baby? I only tear up cutting the onion.
When I was 14, my mum caught me wanking, and she slapped me across the face. A couple weeks later, my dad caught me having a beer, and he made me drink 40 beers. I just thought, "Well, I'm glad he didn't catch me wanking."
Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.
Why don't feminists like to eat hotdogs? Because they remind them of men's dicks.
What do a coin and an Irish man have in common?
They're both fun to flip off.
What does a piece of gum and a gun have in common?
You pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend.
I just heard that the inventor of the autocorrect died the other day.
May he rest in pizza.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You make them clap until they go home.
You know what me and my spine both have in common? We are both not straight.
Rust in peace.
I feel bad for the guy in 9/11 who ordered a salami pizza. Instead, he just got a plane.
Hillary Clinton
Why can't orphans go on game shows?
You need a family member.
Putin's Brain:
What's better than seeing a baby swing around on a clothesline at 60km/h? Stopping it with a cricket bat.
kys