Worst Jokes Ever
It's not rape if she doesn't say no.
Two options: - Chloroform. - Duct Tape.
Why can't an orphan go to McDonald's? There's no point in the words "happy meal."
Today a child asked if I was an angel. I asked why, and he said, "Mommy says that angels have marks on their wrists because they don't want to be in this world."
My girlfriend told me to stop playing Pokemon as it was childish.
I started thrashing about and roared, “You don’t have enough badges to control me!”
So a woman walks into a magician's toy store and browses the collection. Among which was a black, phallic-looking object. She brings it to the counter and asks, "what's this?"
The cashier explains that it's a magical dildo that will listen to whatever you say, "fuck me in the ass," it'll float in the air and fuck you in the ass, "fuck me in the pussy," it'll float in the air and fuck you in the pussy, "faster," it'll go faster, "harder," it'll go harder. She bought this magical artifact and went home for a night of fun and pleasure.
After receiving several orgasms from the magical dildo, she'd had enough, and she told it to stop, but it didn't. The dildo continued to penetrate her, it would go harder and faster, but it refused to stop or slow down. In a panic, she ran over to her car and drove to the hospital to get it surgically removed. Her panic made her disregard the traffic rules, and she quickly found herself pulled over by a cop. As she pulled down her window, the cop leaned towards the door and asked "Do you have any idea how fast you were going!?", the woman tried to explain the situation, she told the officer about the magical dildo stuck in her pussy, but the officer didn't believe her, "magical dildo, my ass" he said, and the lady drove home.
What did the Twin Towers' mom say when she fed them? "Open wide honey, here comes the airplane."
What does your mom and a slinky have in common?
They aren't much to look at, but you can't help but crack a smile when you see them tumbling down the stairs.
What is Forrest Gump’s email password?
1forrest1.
I met a kid with Down syndrome the other day. He told me he was into rock music. He told me his favorite song was "Down With The Syndrome." Kinda drooled while attempting to sing it.
Pickup line; Hey mama, you school? Cuz I'd like to shoot some kids up in you.
What's the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman?
You can unscrew a lightbulb.
What do you call a fat midget?
Jigglypuff.
Why do Americans suck at chess?.......... They already lost two towers.
what's the difference between morbid humor & dark humor?
dark humor fits 10 people in 1 container.
morbid humor fits 1 person on ten containers.
Weather is like sex. Once in a while you need to get wet.
I googled "How to start a wildfire." I got 48,500 matches.
Why aren't koalas actual bears?
Because they don't meet the koalafications.
Mufasa, proof that cats don't always land on their feet.
What did the Chinese couple name their retarded baby?
Sum Ting Wong.
I'm not saying you're ugly, but you're the reason God created miscarriages!