Worst Jokes Ever
When Steven Hawking realizes heaven is only a stairway away.
I ate a clock yesterday. It was very time-consuming.
What did the angel say when it went to heaven? Well, halo there!
Yo mama so ugly, when she tried to enter an ugly contest, they said they didn't allow professionals.
Once I tried to tell my friend a joke about dead people... but it went six feet underground...
Who says Rihanna isn't charitable?
I mean, she found Johnny Depp for her fashion show by scouting for people living in tents down in Skid Row.
What do you call a fat girl with a rape alarm?
Optimistic.
What did the titanic say as it was sinking?
I nominate all the passengers to the ice bucket challenge.
What's the difference between light and hard?
It's easy to get to sleep with a light on.
What did the grim reaper say when his favorite car commercial came on? "Safe life repair, safe life replace!"
Steven Hawking had dark humor.
Whenever he turned on his laugh effect, it diverted power from his screen brightness.
What’s the difference between criminals and orphans?
Only one is wanted.
Why is it so easy bullying orphans?
They can’t tell their mom.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
The Windows XP log out sound.
A man walks into a bar. He takes a seat and asks the barman if he wanted to hear a blonde joke. The barman replies, "Before you tell this joke, I want to tell you something. See the woman over there? She is a black belt in karate, she's blonde. See the bouncer over there? He is also a blonde. See the chick over there with that pool cue? She is also blonde. Also, I have a shotgun behind the bar. I'm blonde. So do you still want to tell your joke?" He replies, "F**k that. I ain't explaining the joke 4 times."
Yo mama so stupid, I told her Christmas was right around the corner--and she looked.
Yo mama so stupid she studied for a COVID-19 test.
I heard that Jimmy Savile never wanted to be famous... All he ever wanted was to settle down, and have kids.
What's the most fun a monk can have?
Nun.
How do you flatten curves?
With an abortion.