Worst Jokes Ever
Why is the leaning tower of pizza leaning? 'Cuz it had better reflexes than the twin towers.
So, I just got kicked out of the orphanage library for putting a book about parents in the fiction section.
Give a blind kid a torch and tell him it's a hairdryer.
I tore up my homework, but then I replaced it with this copy. It may look like it, but trust me, it's different! The answers ARE RIGHT, better than left!
Johnny and Jill went up the hill to lick Jill's yummy candy.
But Johnny got a SHOCK With a mouthful of COCK Because Jill's REAL NAME?
Was Randy. 👹
How do you get an emo out of a tree?
Just cut the rope.
How many gay guys can you fit on a bar stool? Four, just flip it over.
The teacher asked her class to use "definitely" in a sentence. Little Johnny raised his hand to answer, yet the teacher passed him and went on to Kevin. "The sky is definitely blue." "Very good Kevin, but the sky can also be blue or black," the teacher replied.
Little Johnny raised his hand again as high as he could, yet the teacher passed right over him and picked Annie from the back of the room. "The grass is definitely green." "Very good Annie, but it can also be brown." Little Johnny was waving his hand like crazy seeking her attention. Finally, she called on him. "Mine's more of a question, but do farts have lumps in them?" "Why no, Johnny, why would you ask such a question?" She questioned. "Well, if they don't have lumps in them, then I definitely just shit myself."
What do french fries 🍟 do when they meet?
They ketchup.
What do you call a cleaning skeleton?
The Grim Sweeper.
What do you call Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan.
A drunk man walked out of a bar and kept falling flat on his face. He wondered why this was until his wife spoke to him:
Wife: "Why is your face all bloody?"
Husband: "I was so drunk that I couldn't stand up, so I kept falling on my face!"
Wife: "Idiot. You left your wheelchair at the bar!"
Why are women like KFC?
After you've finished with the thigh and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
You: Say "addicted" after everything I say.
Person: Uh okay.
You: When you're obsessed with candy you are...?
Person: Addicted.
You: When you're obsessed with drugs you are...?
Person: Addicted.
You: What hit you in the face last night?
Person: Addicted... *laughs*
(It's supposed to sound like "A dick did")
How do orphans have a family reunion? They look in the mirror.
Why did the depressed kid cross the road?
To get hit by a car.
How do you throw a surprise party at a hospital?
Bring a strobe light into the epilepsy ward.
People told Kobe to fly high. Look what happened.
Why do orphans not like cereal? Because their dad never came back with milk.
What’s the difference between an orphan and cotton? One gets picked.