Worst Jokes Ever
How many white guys does it take to screw a lightbulb?
None. They hire me to do it.
Did you know Helen Keller had a sister?
Neither did she.
I like my women like I like my traction control: disabled.
It's opposite day today. I'm gonna tell an orphan that their parents are here.
What did one orphan say to the other orphan?
"Robin! Jump in the Batmobile."
How do you fuck a cow?
Find the nearest Karen.
What show does an orphan hate the most? Modern Family.
You are getting Cole for Christmas, you shit fuckers.
Don't you just hate it when you're the first one to fall asleep at a sleepover, and then you hear, "Prank em, John?"
Why do orphans have to have customized phones? Because there aren't home buttons.
The average French car has 7 gears, 6 of which are in reverse mode just in case the Germans come back.
What's the fastest thing on earth?
An Ethiopian with a McDonald's Voucher.
New Teacher: I was an orphan as a kid.
Students: Damn.
Teacher: Is anyone missing?
Students: Your parents!
What is Alabama’s family tree? A circle.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other side.
A fat girl was dancing on the table, and I said, "Nice legs." She says, "You really think so?" And I say, "Yes, definitely, most tables would have been broken by now."
When the school shooter says, "Everybody get down!" and the autistic kid thinks it's Simon Says: 🙋♂️🙋♂️🙋♂️
What do you call an orphan family tree?
A tree stump.
If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?
Big hands.
A patient visiting his doctor asked him if he had ever laughed at a patient.
The doctor said, "I have never in 25 years of practice ever laughed at a patient."
Reassured, the patient drops his trousers and underpants.
Immediately the doctor burst out into loud raucous laughter when he sees that the patient has a penis the size of a cocktail sausage.
After about 10 minutes the doctor manages to get himself under control.
Swiftly apologising he says to the patient, "Sorry about that. How can I help you?"
The patient says, "Have you got any cream for it? It's swollen."