Worst Jokes Ever

I used to be into necrophilia. Until that rotten cunt split on me...

I'm not racist, my best friends are black for Halloween. :)

What does Michael Jackson ask little boys before going to bed? Are you sleeping?

If you want to SH but not in the sell farm way, come ooon.. do you even know what does that means?..

The Titanic, just like my phone, IT JUST WON'T SYNC.

Edit: Never mind, it started to sync...

Genders are like the Twin Towers.

There used to be 2 of them, but now it’s a sensitive subject.

My wife called me a pedo. That's a big word for a 6 year old.

My wife told me to be more in touch with my feminine side. So, I crashed the car, then didn't talk to her for the rest of the day for no reason.

Why don’t cannibal kids eat people with Down Syndrome? Because kids don’t like vegetables.

How do you make an adopted kid bleed? ... Tell him to clap until his parents come back.

What is the difference between a hooker and a feminist?

If you want a hooker to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.

Whenever I have diarrhea, my roommate gets constipated.

When I told him this, he said, "Are you kidding me?"

I said, "I shit you not."

Me and my wife were out at dinner. Me being 48 and her being 19, people were screaming at us and calling me a creep. It really ruined our 10th anniversary.

"Sir, in court, all your answers must be oral, okay?"

"Ok."

"What town did you grow up in?"

"Oral."

Someone: "I WANNA BE THE SUN OF YOUR LIFE!"

Me: Then stay at 1,000,000 km of me.

I was drinking a martini and the waitress screamed, "Does anyone know CPR?" I yelled, "I know the entire alphabet," and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except one person.

My grandpa unplugged the AC, so I unplugged his life support.

What does a depressed person and a fashion enthusiast have in common?

They both have something hanging in their closet.

I had a dog with an eating disorder.

He wouldn’t eat any of my homework.

A joke becomes a dad joke when it leaves for milk and never comes back.