Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between an onion and a hooker?
I cry when I chop up onions.
This homeless lady called me ugly, so I told her, "Okay, then I'm going home."
I've just started a new business making people breathe in large amounts of helium. They all speak very highly of it.
What's worse than ants in your pants? Michael Jackson.
How many kids does it take to change a light bulb? Well, it's not 53, 'cause my basement's still dark.
Roses are red, violets are violets, my dad died in 9/11 and he was a good pilot.
In some places in the world, you can't get an abortion even after rape. That's so fucked up.
You serve your time, you get out, and you STILL have to pay child support. What a nightmare.
My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer. I'm not too worried, I think she's joking.
Your forehead is so big, your mom spent half of the time in the delivery room giving birth to just your head.
So I asked my mom for a bath bomb, she just gave me a toaster.
The KGB, the FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary-General of the UN decides to set them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA people go in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude that the rabbit does not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and make no apologies: the rabbit had it coming.
The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling:
"Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
what's flat and great for cutting? me.
Why do rapists and pedophiles never win a race?
Because they always like to come in a little behind.
I forgot the joke.
I went to the principal's office because I gave a deaf kid ear pods for his birthday.
Why is that kid walking like that? Oh, he's an alter boy.
Kidnapping is just surprise adoption.
Americans when they think they have the best offensive British jokes: "we threw your tea in the ocean." 💀
British people making offensive jokes about America: "our towers didn’t explode."😎
Ball so hard! 😂🤣
Your hairline looks like someone tried to erase it using Microsoft Paint.