Worst Jokes Ever
If you're in Alabama, family reunions are basically speed dating events.
What is the difference between Putin and Hitler? Putin no longer supplies gas and Hitler gives it away for free.
My wife left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what she's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!
The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.
Do you know why 6 is afraid of 7? Why? Because 7 ate 9 (8).
Do you know why 10 is scared? Why? Because he is between 9 and 11.
Whatever happened to the emo? (wrong answer only)
I was in the mood for some dark meat, so I called my black friend.
I like my women the way I like my coffee, and I don't drink coffee.
What has eight legs and leaves kids alone? The Jackson 4.
My dad went out for milk. It's been 15 years and I still have to eat my cereal dry.
Q: Why was the tower of Pisa leaning?
A: Because it has better reflexes than the Twin Towers.
What’s a kid with Down syndrome's favorite candy... Grunts.
What is an orphan's family tree?
A stump.
I asked an emo girl, "Do you ever get jealous of your phone when it dies?"
I went to go hang out with the emo kids, but they already did.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn’t matter, it won’t come to you.
What do White Castle sliders and Michael Jackson have in common? They have their meat in tiny wet buns.
Q: What do you call a black prostitute in space?
A: The Blackhole.
What is the toughest thing about living a vegan life?
Getting up at 5am to milk the almonds.
What did the north tower say to the south tower during the summer? Get ready for fall!