Worst Jokes Ever

I got my son a trampoline for his birthday. The ungrateful cunt sat in his wheelchair all day.

What do Princess Diana and a landmine have in common? Both are easy to lay. Both costly and time-consuming to get rid of.

What did Saint Peter say to Diana when she got to the pearly gates? "Wipe that Merc off your face."

One day you see a girl climb a pole and ask her, "Why are you climbing that pole?" "Because a boy paid me to." "He did that to see your underwear." "Oh. Ok."

The next day you see her do the same thing. "Why are you doing the same thing?" "Well, I got him this time. I did not wear underwear."

What's grosser than gross? A truckload of dead babies.

What's grosser than that? A live one at the bottom.

What's grosser than that? When he eats his way out.

Grosser than that? When he goes back for more.

My mum's a carrot.

When Covid spreads through food, but you realized you live in Africa.

Why do midgets work at Tesco?

Because every little helps.

Next time you see a Brit, go up to them and say:

"Imagine losing a 'Tea Party in Boston.'"

There are only 2 genders: if you have a dick, or a pussy.

Why do orphans use water for cereal? Cause their dad never came back with the milk.

And God said to John, "Come forth, and you shall be granted eternal life."

But John came fifth and won a toaster.

What do you call a flat emo?

A chopping block🖤

A Muslim enters a building with 100 passengers and an airplane.

What's the difference between a Mexican and a drawer?

The drawer has papers.

Q. Why do orphans love elevators?

A. Because they're the only things to raise them.

Why can't orphans eat chips?

Because they come in family size.

What is the difference between an orphan and cotton candy?

Answer: The cotton candy gets picked.

My sis told me that onions are the only food that can make you cry...

So I threw a coconut at her.

I’ll make a joke about homeless people, but they just don’t work.

I ran over some crippled kids. I told [them] to walk it off!