Worst Jokes Ever

Two chinamen walk into a bar. The landlord says, "Why the same face?"

I got in a car crash with a dwarf one day. He came storming out, and glared at me. I lowered my window and called out, "So, I'm guessing you're not happy?"

I used to be into necrophilia. Until that rotten cunt split on me...

I'm not racist, my best friends are black for Halloween. :)

If you want to SH but not in the sell farm way, come ooon.. do you even know what does that means?..

What does Michael Jackson ask little boys before going to bed? Are you sleeping?

The Titanic, just like my phone, IT JUST WON'T SYNC.

Edit: Never mind, it started to sync...

How do you make an adopted kid bleed? ... Tell him to clap until his parents come back.

Me and my wife were out at dinner. Me being 48 and her being 19, people were screaming at us and calling me a creep. It really ruined our 10th anniversary.

Why don’t cannibal kids eat people with Down Syndrome? Because kids don’t like vegetables.

My wife called me a pedo. That's a big word for a 6 year old.

I was drinking a martini and the waitress screamed, "Does anyone know CPR?" I yelled, "I know the entire alphabet," and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except one person.

What is the difference between a hooker and a feminist?

If you want a hooker to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.

Whenever I have diarrhea, my roommate gets constipated.

When I told him this, he said, "Are you kidding me?"

I said, "I shit you not."

My grandpa unplugged the AC, so I unplugged his life support.

Someone: "I WANNA BE THE SUN OF YOUR LIFE!"

Me: Then stay at 1,000,000 km of me.

What does a depressed person and a fashion enthusiast have in common?

They both have something hanging in their closet.

"Sir, in court, all your answers must be oral, okay?"

"Ok."

"What town did you grow up in?"

"Oral."

Genders are like the Twin Towers.

There used to be 2 of them, but now it’s a sensitive subject.

My wife told me to be more in touch with my feminine side. So, I crashed the car, then didn't talk to her for the rest of the day for no reason.