Worst Jokes Ever
I’ll make a joke about homeless people, but they just don’t work.
I ran over some crippled kids. I told [them] to walk it off!
What do you call a priest that graduated from law school?
Father-in-law.
Yo mama is so fat, they had to flood the Super Bowl to give her a bath.
I am no longer anonymous.
I work in a garage, and yesterday a gay person came up to me and said, "Why won't my car go straight?"
I hate it when a couple has a minor quarrel, and the girlfriend updates her Facebook status to ‘single.’
I mean, I fight with my parents all the time, but I never update my status to ‘orphan.’
I hope you know CPR, because you are taking my breath away!
I went to the tattoo shop and asked for a skull.
A Jewish guy behind me said, "A skull? Back in my day, we could only get numbers!"
What is the difference between hungry and horny?
The cucumber goes to different places.
My (at the time) boyfriend told our chemistry teacher that blood is corrosive to steel.
Anyways, my sharpener isn’t working because the blade has been too badly damaged from something else...
After an intense workout, I finally have the body I've always dreamed of.
It's in my basement.
Miscarriage jokes aren't funny, just cut it out.
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when I push my autistic brother down the stairs.
A photon is checking into a hotel.
The bellhop asks him, "Do you have any luggage?"
The photon replies, "Nope, I'm traveling light."
What do orphans and garbage have in common?
They’re both in the street, and no one wants to pick them up.
Why do people hate abortion jokes?
It leaves you with an empty feeling inside.
Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?
Neither one of them, they eat out.
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user?
Fast food.
Who led the Israelites through the semipermeable membrane?
Osmoses.