Vegan jokes
How do you know if there's a vegan in the room?
Wait 2 minutes and they'll tell you.
Is it okay to say "nice to meat you" to a vegan?
My son wore his new "Go Vegan" Hoodie for the first time today, and already he's been verbally abused as well as being punched, kicked, & spat on!!!!
And he's not even left the house yet!!!
If two vegans are arguing, is it still considered beef?
What do you call a weak, beta, tall and dumb kid? A banana.
But if you're vegan, you call him food.
If you're poor, you eat the skin.
A man and a cow are stuck on train tracks, and there is a train in the distance about to hit both of them. A vegan sees this and tries to help. Who does he save, the man or the cow?
Neither. He isn't strong enough to lift either of them.
If some girls are vegan, then why do they suck dick?
Why do vegans use blowjobs?
Because they can’t take real meat.
What do you call a vegan slut?
A garden ho!
How do you know if someone is a vegan or has run a marathon?
They'll tell you.
Why do vegans like to make their food look and taste like meat?
Same reason lesbians use strap-ons. They still like putting meat in their hole, but they don’t like where real meat comes from.
Vegans: Save the Earth.
Normal People: We're trying to, but you guys keep eating it!
If a girl is vegan and she's dating a transgender person, does that mean she's eating fake meat too?
Mrs. Kadie, I just heard about a FGTEEV video about vegan nuggets.
Duddy: Sup FGTEEVERS, me and James Marsden just got some Chick-fil-A.
Viewers: Got ya again Mrs. Kadie.
Mrs. Kadie: Vincent and James, I am going to push you off your roof.
Duddy and James: AHHHHHHH!
Ms. Katie: I heard about a Vegan baby.
Mom: Here’s your Happy Meal.
Ms. Katie: That’s not vegan, did you trick me?
Kids: Yeah!
Ms. Katie: That’s it, little baby Jimmy, I’m giving you shaking baby syndrome!
Mom: Please don’t hurt my son.
*Ms. Katie shakes Jimmy*
Mom: I’m secretly a cop, and you are arrested.
What do you call a vegan cow?
A vegan cow. :/
OR
A regular cow. 🐄🙌
I had a party the other day. I made sure there were vegan options. They make do or fuck off.
Maga shaman is a vegan, lmao!
In the cute fantasies: "Est-ce que tu manges du poulet? Attendez une seconde, VOTRE PROFESSEUR VEGAN!!!!!"
In reality: "Are you eating chicken? Wait a second, YOUR THE VEGAN TEACHER!!!"
Save the plants, eat a vegan.