Vegan

Vegan Jokes

Earth

Vegans: Save the Earth.

Normal People: We're trying to, but you guys keep eating it!

Cow

What do you call a vegan cow?

A vegan cow. :/

OR

A regular cow. 🐄🙌

Memes

Man

A man and a cow are stuck on train tracks, and there is a train in the distance about to hit both of them. A vegan sees this and tries to help. Who does he save, the man or the cow?

Neither. He isn't strong enough to lift either of them.

  • 0
  • Banana

    What do you call a weak, beta, tall and dumb kid? A banana.

    But if you're vegan, you call him food.

    If you're poor, you eat the skin.

    Year

    The black nurse tells me she has been a vegan for 29 years. The father sitting next to me asks, "So you don't miss fried chicken?"

  • 0
  • Life

    What is the toughest thing about living a vegan life?

    Getting up at 5am to milk the almonds.

    Gun

    What do you call a gun that doesn't kill anyone?

    - A VEGUN.

  • 2
  • Room

    How do you know if there's a vegan in the room?

    Wait 2 minutes and they'll tell you.

    Society

    A vegan and a transgender jump off a cliff to see who will hit the bottom first.

    Who wins?

    Society.

    Teacher

    Vegan Teacher the musical.

    Miss Kadie - "Oh no, you poor dead animal!"

    Mr. Beast- 🎶 "You're a dumb Communist, Miss Kadie" 🎶

    Chandler-🎵 "Yup, you're one high fluting son of a gun" 🎵

    Mr. Beast- 🎵 "I just gobbled up a quadruple patty from my restaurant" 🎵

    Miss Kadie - 🎵 "Don't hurt animals kids, do you want to be a vegans 'R' us kid?" 🎵

    Kids- 🎵 "We've had enough of your problems, Miss Kadie, you're such a commie!"

    Miss Kadie - 🎵 "I just want to die because I'm so sad!"

    - Miss Kadie jumps off Mr. Beast Burger and commits suicide.

    Meat

    Why do vegans like to make their food look and taste like meat?

    Same reason lesbians use strap-ons. They still like putting meat in their hole, but they don’t like where real meat comes from.

    Rapper

    Why did the rapper refuse to write a diss track?

    He didn’t want to start beef, he’s VEGAN.