Vegan jokes
Is it okay to say "nice to meat you" to a vegan?
If some girls are vegan, then why do they suck dick?
How do you know if there's a vegan in the room?
Wait 2 minutes and they'll tell you.
What do you call a vegan slut?
A garden ho!
If two vegans are arguing, is it still considered beef?
How do you know if someone is a vegan or has run a marathon?
They'll tell you.
What do you call a weak, beta, tall and dumb kid? A banana.
But if you're vegan, you call him food.
If you're poor, you eat the skin.
My son wore his new "Go Vegan" Hoodie for the first time today, and already he's been verbally abused as well as being punched, kicked, & spat on!!!!
And he's not even left the house yet!!!
Mrs. Kadie, I just heard about a FGTEEV video about vegan nuggets.
Duddy: Sup FGTEEVERS, me and James Marsden just got some Chick-fil-A.
Viewers: Got ya again Mrs. Kadie.
Mrs. Kadie: Vincent and James, I am going to push you off your roof.
Duddy and James: AHHHHHHH!
Why do vegans use blowjobs?
Because they can’t take real meat.
A man and a cow are stuck on train tracks, and there is a train in the distance about to hit both of them. A vegan sees this and tries to help. Who does he save, the man or the cow?
Neither. He isn't strong enough to lift either of them.
Timmy Turner: I wish the Vegan Teacher was a cheeseburger.
Wanda: Ok, Timmy.
Timmy: Cosmo, bring her to me!
Cosmo: Here you go, Timmy.
*Timmy eats Miss Kadie*
Why do vegans like to make their food look and taste like meat?
Same reason lesbians use strap-ons. They still like putting meat in their hole, but they don’t like where real meat comes from.
Miss Kadie, I heard that the Westboro Baptist Church is having a party for kicking out 99999 gay people.
Pastor: Welcome to the gay matters church.
Miss Kadie: Stop that, you know that God hates gay people.
Me: Stop that, vegan teacher.
Pastor: You deserve to die.
- I attack
Vegans: Save the Earth.
Normal People: We're trying to, but you guys keep eating it!
I fed a vegan cock. No, not chicken, no, not my cock, my dead dad's.
Maga shaman is a vegan, lmao!
Ms. Katie: I heard about a Vegan baby.
Mom: Here’s your Happy Meal.
Ms. Katie: That’s not vegan, did you trick me?
Kids: Yeah!
Ms. Katie: That’s it, little baby Jimmy, I’m giving you shaking baby syndrome!
Mom: Please don’t hurt my son.
*Ms. Katie shakes Jimmy*
Mom: I’m secretly a cop, and you are arrested.
What do you call a vegan cow?
A vegan cow. :/
OR
A regular cow. 🐄🙌
Why do vegans hate sex?
They don't want to say they had a meat in 'em.