Worst Jokes Ever
I told my mom to get rope for a project, and when she got home, I got the good old coat hanger out and hung myself up.
Your friend walks up to you and shows you a picture of an overweight woman.
What would you rate this woman?
A 7.
Why?
Because 7 ate 9!
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple tree?
The apples get picked.
What do you call a person in a wheelchair with a speaker?
Rolling Loud 🎸🎸
What is the difference between an orphan and cotton candy?
Answer: The cotton candy gets picked.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?... one gets picked.
me: calls suicide hotline. hotline lady: suicide hotline, how are you doing today? me: not much, just hanging.
Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.
I was sitting at a bench at the park and saw a lady. She asked which kid was mine, and I responded, "I haven't decided yet."
Somebody told me to cheer up so.... I told him to pass me a rope :)
What show does an orphan hate the most? Modern Family.
Yo mama so fat it took Thanos 2 snaps.
What is Alabama’s family tree? A circle.
Do you know Imagine Dragons? Imagine dragon these nuts across your face!
What is Harry Potter's favorite way to get down a hill? Walking, JK Rowling.
A friend of mine used to be morbidly obese, but after lots of exercise and hard work... We were able to lift his coffin.
Why do orphans always have the newest iPhone?
Because it doesn’t have a home button.
I went to the tattoo shop and asked for a skull.
A Jewish guy behind me said, "A skull? Back in my day, we could only get numbers!"
"911, what’s your emergency?" I asked, listening to the quiet sobs of a little kid on the other end of the line.
“I think my daddy want to kill me,” the girl said and cried, making me freeze on the spot as I recognized my daughter’s voice.
what do you call it when a person dies in Panera Bread?
Panera dead.