Worst Jokes Ever
How many orphans does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they don't even got a home.
What did the girl say to the man with a moustache?
I moustache you a question.
Why do orphans hate knock knock jokes?
Because there is never anyone at the door.
What do you say to a guy with Down syndrome who’s on top of a sky scraper? "Jump!"
When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.
Johnny is walking along, and a priest is coming the other way. Johnny says, "Hey, mister, why are you wearing your collar backwards?"
The priest says, "Because I'm a father."
Johnny says, "Yeah? Well, my old man's got three kids, and he don't wear his collar backwards."
The priest says, "You don't understand, son. I have thousands of children."
Johnny says, "You should wear your fuckin' trousers backwards."
Russia and Ukraine are running a marathon. Who do you think won? Russia did. Russia gave Ukraine a migraine.
A cement mixer has collided with a prison van. Motorists are asked to look out for 16 hardened criminals.
I was digging a hole in the garden until I found some coins! I was about to tell my mum when I remembered I was digging a hole in the garden.
What does a piece of gum and a gun have in common?
You pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is.
What's the difference between depression and your ex?
Depression fucks you harder.
REALLY CRAPPY JOKE ALERT!!! Oh Quin, how was eating that tight butt? Must be nasty. I heard you met from rear ending him.
Why did the bee buzz off?
Because he had to bee somewhere.
What starts with the letter M, ends with -arriage and is a man's favorite thing? Miscarriage. That joke never gets old, just like the baby.
"When Republicans do politics, it's a crime. But when Democrats commit crimes, it's politics." ---Tyler Nixon
What does FNAF mean? Five Nasty Ass Fools.
What's grosser than gross? A truckload of dead babies.
What's grosser than that? A live one at the bottom.
What's grosser than that? When he eats his way out.
Grosser than that? When he goes back for more.
Girl playing outside: "Step on a line and you break your mommy's spine." She then steps on a line and her mother keels over screaming.
Girl playing outside: "Step on a crack and you break daddy's back." She steps on a crack the mailman next door then keels over screaming.
The husband starts celebrating, gets in the car, and starts to drive away.
The son comes outside and steps on a crack.
The dad then dies in a car crash.
My jokes are like kids with cancer; they never get old.