Why do people hate abortion jokes?
It leaves you with an empty feeling inside.
Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a camel stranded in the desert of Arabia?
A Shawarmano Cameldo!
I was kicked out of an orphanage kitchen because I yelled, "Hurry up, some of us have homes to get back to."
A guy barges into a psychiatrist’s office and screams, “Doctor! I have suicidal tendencies! What do I do?!”
The doctor calmly answers, “Pay me in advance.”
What do you get when you cross a Jewish person?
Christianity.
what do you call an American looking at cloud shapes?
Oppenheimer
Gas is expensive nowadays.
In the 1940s, they got it for free.
A guy went to a bar and said to a friend that he found a girl on the railroads and said they had the best sex ever.
His friend asked, "Did you get any head?"
The guy said, "No, I couldn't find it."
When and where was the biggest BBQ ever?
Hiroshima, Japan 1946.
Who led the Israelites through the semipermeable membrane?
Osmoses.
What's the difference between Ironman and Ironwoman?
One's a superhero, one's a command.
A photon is checking into a hotel.
The bellhop asks him, "Do you have any luggage?"
The photon replies, "Nope, I'm traveling light."
What do orphans and garbage have in common?
They’re both in the street, and no one wants to pick them up.
A nickname to call your short GF:
Little ankle biter Master Yoda Hasbula My little Ewok
Why are women so bad at parking?
Because they've been lied to about what 8 inches look like their whole lives.
I am no longer anonymous.
I work in a garage, and yesterday a gay person came up to me and said, "Why won't my car go straight?"
I hope you know CPR, because you are taking my breath away!
I went to the tattoo shop and asked for a skull.
A Jewish guy behind me said, "A skull? Back in my day, we could only get numbers!"
My wife told me she’ll slam my head into the keyboard if I don’t get off the computer.
I’m not too worried—I think she’s jokingdkdkslalkdlkfjslfjslksdlkfjuahehwhgwdklaljdf.
