Tell jokes
Someone came to me and said, "Your dad is gay." I just said, "Wait. You know where my dad is? Please tell me!"
Bro, I gotta tell you a joke.
Nevermind, it's too cheesy!
Your mum stinks of disabled people.
Wanna know why?
I don't know either, you tell me.
So, my mom was talking to me and told me to go to the store. When I get there, there’s a sign, but then someone tells me that’s just someone with a ginormous forehead.
Why'd Biden get fired from the supermarket?
He kept telling little kids they smell like freshly baked bread.
I'd tell a slavery joke, but they've been flogged to death.
Flex tape can fix a sawed-in-half boat. Then how the f*** can it not fix the Titanic when it broke in half? Tell me!
Why can’t you tell JFK facts about Dallas?
Last time he was there, he got his mind blown.
Chuck Norris died, but Death was too afraid to tell him.
The best way to tell a Hindu person and a Muslim person apart is asking them:
"Are you 7-Eleven or 9/11?"
This is not a joke, but if your uncle tells you, "Bend over, touch your toes, I'll show you where the monster goes," don't do it, hehehehehe.
I'd tell a bad baby joke, but I decided to abort.
Q: How do you turn a cat into a fish?
A: Tell the woman not to wash down there.
I intern at an orphanage that burned down this weekend with 30 kids inside.
Thankfully, I don’t have to call and tell their parents.
I would tell you an abortion joke, but it was only temporary.
Me, an orphan: *laughing at orphan jokes*
Some person: Stop laughing, it's sad to laugh at your pain.
Me, an orphan: That's the funny part, what am I going to do, tell my parents?
Me: I hit an orphan!
Mom: OMG WHY?
Me: Not like they can tell their parents-
What happens when an orphan is told that someone had found their parents?
They cry...
They scream... with joy.
"Oh wait, no, that wasn't your parents."
Orphan grabs a knife out of the kitchen, lets just say, the orphan didn't live to tell the tail...
Who tells the best chicken jokes?
Comedi-hens!
Three conspiracy theories walked into a bar, now tell me that's not a coincidence!