Tell jokes

I tell short people to reach for the stars.

They are always a bit short of reach.

If you have a friend that will not leave you alone about something, just simply tell them: "If you watch something, have you ever thought that you're in a movie when you watch a movie?"

I'd tell a bad baby joke, but I decided to abort.

Me going to jail after telling the orphan he can't learn about ancient Egypt because he don't know what a mummy is.

Flex tape can fix a sawed-in-half boat. Then how the f*** can it not fix the Titanic when it broke in half? Tell me!

Why can’t you tell JFK facts about Dallas?

Last time he was there, he got his mind blown.

Why'd Biden get fired from the supermarket?

He kept telling little kids they smell like freshly baked bread.

This is not a joke, but if your uncle tells you, "Bend over, touch your toes, I'll show you where the monster goes," don't do it, hehehehehe.

I'd tell a slavery joke, but they've been flogged to death.

The best way to tell a Hindu person and a Muslim person apart is asking them:

"Are you 7-Eleven or 9/11?"

Your mum stinks of disabled people.

Wanna know why?

I don't know either, you tell me.

Chuck Norris died, but Death was too afraid to tell him.

Bro, I gotta tell you a joke.

Nevermind, it's too cheesy!

I'm bone dry in material, but I have a skeleTON of skeleton jokes. After I tell you all these rib ticklers, you will have a bone to pick with if you didn't find that funny, you outta rip my spine out.

I didn’t wanna tell you, but I had to write this song, cause I’m in your house every night doin' your mom.

Three conspiracy theories walked into a bar, now tell me that's not a coincidence!

Friend: How's it going?

Me: Good, things are good!

Parent: How are you?

Me: Oh, I'm fine!

Twitter: Compose new tweet?

Me: Hellooooo, I would like to tell you about my anxiety & my current greatest fears & let's talk about the impending apocalypse while we're at it.

So, my mom was talking to me and told me to go to the store. When I get there, there’s a sign, but then someone tells me that’s just someone with a ginormous forehead.

I intern at an orphanage that burned down this weekend with 30 kids inside.

Thankfully, I don’t have to call and tell their parents.

If you are a bully at a school, when you get home, find an orphan and beat them up!

What are they going to do? Tell the orphan lady to tell you to stop? 😆😝