Tell jokes

Flex tape can fix a sawed-in-half boat. Then how the f*** can it not fix the Titanic when it broke in half? Tell me!

Why can’t you tell JFK facts about Dallas?

Last time he was there, he got his mind blown.

Me going to jail after telling the orphan he can't learn about ancient Egypt because he don't know what a mummy is.

This is not a joke, but if your uncle tells you, "Bend over, touch your toes, I'll show you where the monster goes," don't do it, hehehehehe.

I'd tell a bad baby joke, but I decided to abort.

Why'd Biden get fired from the supermarket?

He kept telling little kids they smell like freshly baked bread.

I'd tell a slavery joke, but they've been flogged to death.

Let's tell a secret about each other... I'll go first.

I

hate

you!

Q: How do you turn a cat into a fish?

A: Tell the woman not to wash down there.

I would tell you an abortion joke, but it was only temporary.

Tell me a joke about sodium.

Na.

Teacher: What's 55 flowers plus 67 flowers?

Kid: A garden?

Teacher: Did I tell you that you're adopted?

If you have a bad day, go tell an orphan to find his parents. He will be searching all day.

Friend: How's it going?

Me: Good, things are good!

Parent: How are you?

Me: Oh, I'm fine!

Twitter: Compose new tweet?

Me: Hellooooo, I would like to tell you about my anxiety & my current greatest fears & let's talk about the impending apocalypse while we're at it.

I intern at an orphanage that burned down this weekend with 30 kids inside.

Thankfully, I don’t have to call and tell their parents.

So, my mom was talking to me and told me to go to the store. When I get there, there’s a sign, but then someone tells me that’s just someone with a ginormous forehead.

"What do you tell a person with depression?

Just hang in there, buddy!"

If you are a bully at a school, when you get home, find an orphan and beat them up!

What are they going to do? Tell the orphan lady to tell you to stop? 😆😝

So, there is this button. There's a 50% chance you get a million dollars. There's a 50% chance that you turn into a turtle. Make them press the button, and if they give the money, you just push the orphan over, take their money, and run away because who are they going to tell? Their parents?

Me, an orphan: *laughing at orphan jokes*

Some person: Stop laughing, it's sad to laugh at your pain.

Me, an orphan: That's the funny part, what am I going to do, tell my parents?