Little Johnny went on a camping trip. All the tents we're taken so her shared with the teacher. So Little Johnny says: Can I play with your bellybutton my mom always let's me when we camp. So the teacher says: Sure 5 minutes later the teacher says: Woah Woah Woah that's not my bellybutton! Little Johnny says: Woah Woah Woah thats not my finger.
A kid annoyed me the other day. I told him to shut up and go back to his parents. That's the last time I'm going to an orphanage.
I have a joke about time travel, but I'm not gonna share it. You guys didn't like it.
Me and my girlfriend were planning on having sex but I said me and my little brother share a bunk bed and he’s on the bottom. She said tell him we’re making sandwiches so we came up with a plan. Tomato means harder and cheese means faster. So we were having sex and she was screaming tomato tomato tomato cheese cheese cheese, then my little brother said can y’all stop making sandwiches your getting mayonnaise all over my bed.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to celebrate their marriage.
9 months later they happily had some use for their baby carriage.
2 years later they went up again then their daughter had a brother.
But 1 little secret that no one knew was that Jack and Jill share a mother..
10 Fun Facts 1. You can't wash your eyes with soap. 2. You can't count your hair. 3. You can't breath through your nose with your tongue out. 4. You just tried number 3. 6. When you did number 3, you realized it's possible, only you look like a dog. 7. You're smiling right now because you were fooled. 8. You skipped number 5. 9. You just checked to see if there is a number 5. 10. Share this with your friends to have some fun too :-)
Did you hear about the monkeys that share a amazon account?They where prime mates
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a ravishing blonde and an old lady are sharing a compartment on a train as it winds its way through the Alps. Every now and then the train passes through a tunnel, during which time the compartment is plunged into complete darkness. On one such occasion, a ringing slap is heard and as the train passes back into daylight, the Frenchman is rubbing his sore, red cheek.
The old lady thinks, "I bet that dirty Frenchman fondled the blonde and she struck the pervert."
The blonde thinks, "I bet that filthy Frenchman was looking to grope me in the dark, mistook the old lady for me and she slapped him."
The Frenchman thinks, "I bet that perfidious Englishman touched up the blonde in the dark and she slapped me by mistake."
The Englishman thinks, "I can't wait for another tunnel so I can slap that French twat again."
That time when you realise that Osama bin Laden and Carrie Underwood share the same birthday...
I offered to share a Meal with an Homeless Person once but he said "Piss off and buy your Own"
Hey, I know this is a classic joke but I found it pretty funny!
"My name is 4, four like the number", my friend - "What, was 1 2 3 taken?"
I can even with it but I was bored and decided to share this x
What do you call two monkeys who share the same Amazon account prime mates
Why don't oysters share their pearls?
Because they're shellfish!
Michael Jackson and Kelly Clarkson both did shady stuff to children. Michael Jackson said that there is nothing wrong with sharing a bed with unrelated small children. Kelly Clarkson said that there is nothing wrong with physically beating a small child.
The thing is, though, only one of them made Billie Jean or Beat It, and the other is just a typical karaoke country singer. So no surprise people gave Wacko Jacko a pass.
What does a freshly pregnant teen and her baby share?
They both think "Mom's probably going to kill me"
+1 like=1 kid in my basment +1 comment =1 kid in my microwave +1 share =1 kid in my blender
What do feminists and dogs share in common? They need to be taken to obedience school.
I was going to share my joke about anal, butt fuck it was inappropriate..
finally some social platform where you can talk about muslims and not get bombed. obv, unless you share your residence.
I always keep anti fungal spray with me....coz I don't want to share my gf with anyone
