Secret jokes
Let's tell a secret about each other... I'll go first.
I
hate
you!
Secret code that Bin Laden sent to Obama but couldn't decipher!
It was eloHssA OllEH!!
Why do asscheeks make great friends?
They always stick together!
In a world bizarre, Penis burgers, strange delight, Tantalizing taste.
Buns shaped curiously, Meat, a bold centerpiece, Lingering delight.
Sizzling grill, they sizzle, Juicy secrets unfold, Hidden pleasures found.
Tempting, yet absurd, Controversial cuisine, Curiosity piques.
Daring, adventurous, Palates embark on a quest, Uncharted flavors.
But let us not dwell, On the phallic form they hold, For taste transcends all.
Beyond flesh-shaped buns, Flavors dance upon our tongues, A feast for senses.
So let us partake, In this culinary art, With open-minded hearts.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Walnut. Walnut who? I walnut tell you. It’s a secret.
Now why an office supply keep rape videos, to make sure it was on tape?
Spell "Peppa." Okay. P. E. P. P. A. Hahaha! You said peepee.
I tried this with my sister Makenna because she loves Peppa Pig and has a backpack of it. So I told her to spell her backpack's letters and tricked her... And she is only four years old and my secret is I am only eight years old.
"John FK, he think he special car no top, everyone see like he on parade. Me, I stay hidden, secret style, no bullets find me. Much smar smarter, no? Scret lifestyle safety."
Do you think when the Secret Service heard the gunshot they were like, "Donald Duck"?
What do you call a cow that is secret?
AnonyMOOus.
I have a secret crush on your momma.
What is Uludağ made from? Dog pee!
Why don’t rappers tell secrets?
Because they always end up DROPPING it.
What do James Doyle and Hannah Doyle have in common?
John fucked them both in the rear.
Why was the rapper always in good shape?
Because he never skipped a beat!
Saint Nicholas is the patron saint of working girls. Call girls. Hookers. Prostitutes. And the association is a long one, going back to the very earliest legends which place St. Nick as a Greek bishop in Myra, Lycia in what is now the Turkish Mediterranean - three centuries after Christ.
Saint Nicholas is notable primarily for giving secretly to the poor, and supposedly the first to benefit were three young ladies whose poor father couldn't afford wedding or dowry to marry them off - destining them instead to a life of prostitution. St. Nick supposedly threw a bag of gold through the window to pay for the wedding but, by the third attempt, the poor father was watching to determine the identity of the anonymous benefactor. Santa outsmarted him by dropping the last bag of coins down the chimney.
So, whenever you see Santa, he always travels with his three favourite sex workers - who seemingly never grow old. On a quiet, still Christmas night you can even hear him call them.
Ho! Ho! Ho! And to all a good night.
They never told us Humpty was an egg. A man died then!
I’d tell you a secret about peanut butter, but you might spread it.
I used to be a baker, but I decided to quit my job and stick my dough inside WOMEN’S bakeries.
What do asses and secrets have in common?
Both are better when not leaked!