Tell jokes
How do you stop a school shooter from killing you?
Tell him you don’t believe in dog.
Did I tell you I finally got my wife to scream during sex? Yeah, you should have heard her the other day when I walked in on her.
Kariana: Dad and mom, what is this bullshit?
Treon: How did you find that?!
Kariana: It was under the cabinet where you told me to put the streamers. I found these under the cabinet, did she have another sister you didn't tell me about? Now tell the truth, or else!
Petina: Now what have we told you about going into things that are not yours!
Kariana: I just told you to say the fricking truth, now who is Faineni? Where is she? Who is she? What is her date of birth? Why do I have her bra under here and why....IS IT UNDER THE FRICKING CABINET!!!!! ANSWER ME!!!!!!!!!
Treon: We can't!
Kariana: BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!
Knock knock. Who's there? Well, I will tell you who's not there: my dad.
If you make a joke about me, I'll tell my mom.
OUABH Core
Me going to the principal's after telling the kid with a wheelchair to stand up for himself.
How do you make Prince Andrew sad? You tell him you're over 16.
What type of jokes do you tell an orphan?
Family jokes.
Hello, are you there?
Yes, who are you?
My name is Watt.
What’s your name?
Watt’s my name.
Yes, what is your name?
My name is John Watt.
John What?
Yes, are you Jones?
No, I’m Knott.
Will you tell me your name?
Will Knott.
Why not?
My name is Knott.
Not what?
Not Watt, Knott!
*hangs up*
The joke I'm telling is my brother, Joey.
I am not telling you twice, your mouth stinks, so go burn your house down like a crazy mad woman, and I will call the cops like, "WTH," because you are so fat.
Why can’t orphans tell these jokes?
Because they're fun for the whole family to hear.
If I tell Stephen about these jokes, what is he gonna do? Chase after me? He better run fast!
Tell rumors about me, but please don't say I'm in a love relationship.
When my family goes to weddings, my senior relatives tell me things like “You’re next!” So I started doing the same to them at funerals.
It's hard to tell if people are interested in joining my Sarcastic Club or not.
Little Johnny comes down for breakfast because he lives on a farm, and his mother asks if he has done his chores or not.
"Not yet," says little Johnny, so he goes to feed the chickens, cows, and pigs. He ends up kicking the chickens, cows, and pigs and goes inside and asks why he got a dry bowl of cereal. His mother responds with, "I saw you kick the chickens, so no eggs for a week. I also saw you kick the pigs, so no bacon for a week either. I also saw you kick the cows, so no milk for a week either."
Little Johnny's father comes downstairs and kicks the cats. Little Johnny looks at his mother and says, "You want to tell him, or should I?"
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Butter. Butter who? I butter not tell you.
If an orphan got hit, will they go tell their parents?
If you’re bored, just punch an orphan.
What are they going to do? Tell their parents?