Anti-jokes
Perrie.
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
The broccoli says, "I look like a small tree." The mushroom says, "I look like an umbrella." The walnut says, "I look like a brain." And the banana says, "Can we please change the subject?"
Why did little sally fall off the swings?
Because she had no arms.
What did sally get for Christmas?
Gloves! Only joking...she still hasn’t opened the box.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? -- A stick.
Why didn't the toilet paper make it across the road?
It got stuck in a crack.
Immigration jokes just cross the line.
Jason: Did you hear about the storm-trooper who attempted suicide?
Dave: No.
Jason: Well, he hit his first target.
What do you call someone who points out the obvious? Someone who points out the obvious.
What do you call a joke without a punchline?
What is the similarity between a joke and food?
Some people just don't get them!
Did you hear about the two guys who stole a calendar?
No?
They both got six months.
You know what I saw today?
Everything I looked at.
What is the difference between a suicidal person and you? None, you are both dead on the inside.
What did one orphan say to the other? "Robin, get in the Batmobile."
What do you get when you insert human DNA into a goat? Banned from the petting zoo!
you.
What do you call a fish with no eye?
Fsh.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimer's has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.
Why did Mary fall off the swings?
She got hit by a refrigerator.