Supermarket jokes
Why do orphans hate any milk?
Their dad did not come back for 10 years. Oh, sorry, he got lost in the store! 🤧
A shop assistant is helping a little boy who can't find his mum in the supermarket.
He asks the boy, "What's she like?"
The boy says, "Big Cocks and vodka!"
The cashier kicked me out because when he asked for 99 cents, I gave him 99 scents.
I went into the supermarket; everything was half off. Of course, I took the bottom half of Spider-Man.
What store is the most public?
Publix!
Every time I go to the store I look in the deodorant section and my dyslexia acts up. Instead of "antiperspirant," I read "antidepressant." At least I get a bunch of extra snacks out of my shopping mistakes.
They told me a mask was enough to get into the supermarket.
They lied, everybody else was also wearing pants.
My Dad said he got me from the shops, and I remembered what Grandpa said about him.
Why do dwarfs work at Tesco?
Because every little helps!
What do Michael Jackson and Tesco carrier bags have in common? They’re both made out of plastic and harmful to children.
I saw a disabled person in the super market. They were at the vegetable aisle.
My ex-boyfriend tried to scan himself at the supermarket checkout for fun.
“See how I can’t scan myself? It’s because I’m priceless.”
I decided I’d scan my wrist too, just for fun.
Found out I’m worth $3.97.
Why did the dwarf get a job at Lidl?
Because every Lidl helps.
Girl: Mom, meet my boyfriend.
Mom: Meet my boyfriend.
Girl's boyfriend: Dad, is that you? Are you back from the supermarket with milk?
Mom's boyfriend: Uh, gtg.
What did the emo kid say to the cashier? ... "Scan my wrists."
Q: What is Hitler's least favorite grocery store?
A: Jew-Osco
I'm sorry, but your dad left for milk.
What does a pedophile call an orphanage?
A supermarket.
The grapes in the supermarket are really raisin' the bars...
What happens when an emo goes to the grocery store? The cashier scans their wrist too.