Tell jokes
She’s got 20 dudes in her DMs telling her she is pretty. Stand out, call her ugly.
Orphan: I’m gonna tell my parents!
Me: Where are they?
Orphan: ̄\_(ツ)_/ ̄
Do you know what a reverse exorcism is?
It's when the demon tells the priest to exit the child's body.
I once met a skeleton. I asked if I could tell him a joke. He agreed. I told it to him. He found it quite “humerus”.
I would tell you a story of my dad... If I knew who he was.
This is a big joke, so yeah, you can't tell me what to do. This joke is funny, so laugh, okay?
Now that you're done laughing, let me say a joke... Get it? There was no joke! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahhahhaha lololol so funny, I'm ninja!
Is it bad to hit an orphan?
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Well... I mean, they could go to church and try to gather that someone hit them.
Alright, I'm gonna make like a tree and leaf.
*****You have to leave right after you tell this joke.****
Why can you trust a donut? It tells the hole truth!
I was talking to a Muslim yesterday, and he asked me what it's like to be blind.
I happened to tell him about 20 jokes; in fact, I was working on my twentieth. So I answered with, "At least I don't have to screw in light bulbs. It's not like I need the damn things anyway."
I accidentally hit an orphan with my car, but I was not worried because he couldn’t tell his parents.
My history teacher asked my class what time they would go back to just to see what happened.
I said I'd go back to Hitler's childhood to tell him the lies that he becomes the ruler of the world by starting the Nazis, and leave his death out of the discussion.
“Life is going swimmingly,”
“Tell that to Whitney Houston.”
Why is it so punny when Sans tells a joke in the evening?
Because a SANSET is happening.
I would tell a 9/11 joke, but it would probably go up in flames.
Why did the doctor tell the man to go for a mountain walk?
Alps clear the mind! Haha.
Wanna hear a skeleton joke?
Sorry, I don't have the guts to tell it.
I would tell you a cat pun, but it's too purr-fect to share.
Q: Why is it fun to hit an orphan?
A: Who are they going to tell, their parents?
I would tell you the pun about the broken pencil, but it has no point to it.