Tell jokes

I didn’t wanna tell you, but I had to write this song, cause I’m in your house every night doin' your mom.

I'd tell a slavery joke, but they've been flogged to death.

I was in class doing sex education. We were learning about sexual stereotypes.

My teacher turns to the class and asks, "If anyone could tell him what a sexual stereotype was?"

So I raised my hand and said, "Asians have small penis." He looked at me and said, "Very good, but I was looking for a definition."

Once a man goes to a restaurant. Then, he was waiting until the waitress comes and tells him that they don't have food.

He was grumpy, but the waitress make him relaxing by unbuttoning her pants and undressing her panties and uncovering clothes from her pussy until everything get striped, then she say to him: "Good meal."

A man walks into a bar. He sees a family court judge, his wife, her lawyer, and a police officer. He gets on his hands and knees and prays to God out loud. The bartender says, "Why are you praying?" He says, "Because I just saw the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse, and the bible tells me when I see them the end is at hand."

Tell an emo, "Do you get jealous when your phone dies?"

Like if you like dogs. Dislike if you like cats. Other animal? Tell me in the comments!

How to kick a deaf person off the plane:

Step 1: Pretend to yell and get some friends to do it, too.

Step 2: Tell your friends to raise both of their hands.

Step 3: He's out of the plane on a parachute.

I can't tell what's farther, the Great Wall of China, or how far Paul Walker flew out of his windshield.

Ok guys, I think we should stop being mean. That will tell their grandparents.

These orphan jokes are getting old. I mean, seriously, haven't you got something better to tell?

When your gf tells you to treat her like a queen,

and then you remember you’re French.

I would tell a joke about Kobe, but it wouldn’t really land well.

What did the phone receptionist at the suicide hotline tell the callers?

Hang in there!

What is black and white and red all over?

Answer: A newspaper.

That is what my 3-year-old told me.

I would tell you a joke about 9/11, but it would come crashing down on you.

If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You are so ugly, Do not tell me that is really you.

People tell me to be nice to orphans, so I say, "What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?"

I tell a man, "Get me a Glock 19." He comes back with a glove. I was about to shout at him, but then I saw a pistol in his pocket, so I left and thanked him.