I'd tell a child abuse joke, but I forget the punchline.
Here in Canada, you used to be able to be shipped off to an asylum just because you were gay.
I guess they couldn't tell the fruits from the nuts.
My history teacher asked my class what time they would go back to just to see what happened.
I said I'd go back to Hitler's childhood to tell him the lies that he becomes the ruler of the world by starting the Nazis, and leave his death out of the discussion.
My son's class is having a career day next week.
He was all embarrassed about having a mother who works at the AISH office.
We've agreed that I'll tell his class I'm a prostitute.
NSFW Why can't women ever tell men where the clitoris is?
'Cause it's a place to eat.
I wasn't going to tell another rape joke but fuck it.
They say there is power in numbers.
Tell that to the people in the Twin Towers.
I'd tell a Luigi joke, but it would fall flat faster than the line on his victim's heart monitor.
I joined ISIS to help my self-esteem issues.
Everyone kept telling me, "You’re the bomb!"
Tell a woman she’s beautiful a hundred times, and she won’t believe you.
Tell a woman she’s fat once, and she will remember it for the rest of her life.
can someone please tell what happened?
An ICE agent tells a Mexican that he can get his green card if he can use green, pink, and yellow correctly in a sentence. The Mexican thinks for a minute and says, "My phone goes green, green, and I pink it up and say yellow."
Two priests are pulled over by the police. One priest asks the cop what the reason for pulling them over is. The cop says, "We are looking for two child molesters." The priest look at each other and tell the cop they'll do it.
An old man goes to a church and is making a confession:
Man: "Father, I am 75 years old. I have been married for 50 years. All these years I had been faithful to my wife, but yesterday I was intimate with an 18-year-old."
Father: "When was the last time you made a confession?"
Man: "I never have, I am Jewish."
Father: "Then why are telling me all this?"
Man: "I’m telling everybody!"
What did the trans woman say after finally telling her parents about her surgeries?
“It felt really good to get that off my chest.”
Two Indians are walking beside a river...
One reaches down into the mud and runs it through his fingers.
"The White Man was here."
"How can you tell?"
"We're speaking English, aren’t we?"
How do you tell whether you’ve satisfied a redhead?
She unlocks the handcuffs.
The best way to tell a Hindu person and a Muslim person apart is asking them, "Are you 7-Eleven or 9/11?"
The best way to tell a Hindu person and a Muslim person apart is asking them:
"Are you 7-Eleven or 9/11?"
Why don’t rappers tell secrets?
Because they always end up DROPPING it.
