Still jokes
So many things are going through my head.
How am I not dead yet?
Jo mama is so fat that I could write 3 paragraphs, and she still wouldn't fit!
You look at it. You tug on it like a shoe string. You play with it like elastic bubble plastic, but it still never grows.
Jack and Jill ran up the hill to pop some pills,
And Jill said, "Jack can do her without here will," and Jack's penis was still.
What do you call a deer with no legs and no eyes?
Still no idea. 😂
Today I asked my phone, Siri, why am I still single?
And I activated the front camera! 😭😭😭😭😭
I don't trust anything that bleeds for more than 5 days and is still alive.
Can you believe they're still together after everything they've been through?
Who you might ask...
YOUR ASS CHEEKS!
Yo, dad went to get milk and still hasn't came back 10 years later!
What's the difference between a hippie chick and a can of Spam?
After 6 months in the woods, you'll still eat the can of Spam.
I bought my son an Xbox in 2017. It’s now 2018, and I’m still waiting for him to open it.
How many babies does it take to change a lightbulb? Well, obviously not 10; my basement's still dark.
A chemical store burned down, and the firefighter just stood there, but at the end, the store fire just went out by itself. But the store owner still got angry.
Store owner: Why didn't you take out the fire?
Firefighter: Yeah, but it went out by itself.
Store owner: But still, why?
Firefighter: Your chemical store sells H20.
Store owner: Oh, I get it now!
Me: Help, I'm stuck in a trap.
Friend: What kind?
Me: It's called life. Yeah, I've been trying to get out of it for six years now, it just won't let me go.
Friend: That's not funny..
Me: Yeah? Nor is wanting to die, yet I'm still over here laughing every time I try to.
Friend: I'm calling your mom.
Me: She knows.
Friend: What's she doing to help, then?
Me: She's supposed to help?
Friend: Have you told your dad?
Me: I will when he comes back.
Friend: Where is he?
Me: I don't know, he's been gone for 15 years.
Friend: ....
Me: What?
Friend: Why?
Me: Why what?
Friend: Why would you joke like that?
Me: I was joking..
Friend: I know.
Me: Oh. I didn't know.
Friend:...
Me: Have a nice day, I'll see you tomorrow... Maybe...
What do a stool and an emo have in common?
They both sit still.
Joe Mama so dumb, I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it is still printing.
Is it still called beef if two vegetarians are arguing?
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a pregnant emo girl?
The emo girl still bleeds.
I went to the shops and still didn’t find Lucy’s dad.
In English class, the teacher says, "Kids, you need to say the alphabet. Okay, Sally, you first." Sally says, "Okay, a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z." The teacher says, "Good job, Sally." Then the teacher called on four other students who got it right. Then the teacher called on Little Johnny. The teacher says, "Little Johnny, say the alphabet." Little Johnny says, "b c e f g h i j k l m n o p s v w x y z." The teacher says, "No, Johnny, that's not right." Johnny says, "Oh, I forgot, u r a q t." The teacher says, "No, still not right, and thank you." Johnny says, "Oh, I’ll give you the d later." The class laughs and the teacher says, "Go to the office now."