Still jokes

Dick

The dick said to the ass, "this place is a shit hole."

The ass replied, "Yes, but you still keep coming."

Christmas

If I'm still single by Christmas, Santa won't be the only one jumping off a roof.

School shooting

A man shoots up a school and then fakes his own death. He then later returns to shoot up the same school. He repeats the process a few times until the police catch him. When they ask why he did it, he replied, "I wondered when you would check if I was still breathing."

  • 4
  • Misogyny

    What's the difference between property and women? At least property still retains some value after getting wrecked.

    Rizz

    Rizz,

    Are you a biographer? Cause I picture us together.

    Can I take a picture of you for I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?

    No pen, no paper, you still draw my attention.

    You know what I hate about math? They always talk about x and y, but not about u and i.

    Memes

    Depression

    I wondered if becoming a furry could help me escape my crippling depression...

    Unfortunately, the veterinarian insisted that he still wasn't going to euthanize me.

    Monster

    My little sister called my name a few minutes after I put her to bed. She told me that there was something in her closet. I checked the closet and told her there was nothing there, but told her she could still sleep in my room with me. I was thinking that was the best way to get her out of the room before he noticed I saw him.

    Aid

    While undressing a woman, she told me she has AIDS. I told her she can't catch it twice, but she still kept screaming.

    Brojob

    If a heterosexual man gets anonymous oral sex from another heterosexual man at a glory hole, it's called a "brojob", but if a homophobic heterosexual man gets anonymous oral sex from a gay man at a glory hole, it's still called a "brojob". Does it cycle now?

    Wife

    How to know if your wife is dead? Well, the sex is still trash, but the dishes really start to pile up.

  • 1
  • Baby

    How many babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

    Must be more than 9 cause my basement is still dark.

    Chocolate

    What’s the difference between people and chocolate? I can still buy dark chocolate.

  • 8
  • Voice

    I was setting a voice recognition password for my new phone, and a dog nearby barked and ran away. Now I'm still looking for that dog to unlock my phone.

    Game of Thrones

    The other day I started watching Game of Thrones.

    I told my friend about it. Told him all about the violence, murder, decapitation, gore, sex, gay sex, midget sex, prostitution, rape, paedophilia, incest, and inbreeding... And he was like: "Oh, so you're still on the first episode then?"

  • 5
  • Week

    I have the best life coach ever, because he taught me to not care. He did it so well that he died last week, and I still don’t care.

    Son

    I was watching my son play at the park, and a lady asked me, "Which one is yours?" And for fun, I said, "I don't know, I'm still choosing."