Still Jokes

The dick said to the ass, "this place is a shit hole."

The ass replied, "Yes, but you still keep coming."

If I'm still single by Christmas, Santa won't be the only one jumping off a roof.

A man shoots up a school and then fakes his own death. He then later returns to shoot up the same school. He repeats the process a few times until the police catch him. When they ask why he did it, he replied, "I wondered when you would check if I was still breathing."

What's the difference between property and women? At least property still retains some value after getting wrecked.

Rizz,

Are you a biographer? Cause I picture us together.

Can I take a picture of you for I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?

No pen, no paper, you still draw my attention.

You know what I hate about math? They always talk about x and y, but not about u and i.

My little sister called my name a few minutes after I put her to bed. She told me that there was something in her closet. I checked the closet and told her there was nothing there, but told her she could still sleep in my room with me. I was thinking that was the best way to get her out of the room before he noticed I saw him.

I still remember my grandpa's last words; "Is that loaded?"

How to know if your wife is dead? Well, the sex is still trash, but the dishes really start to pile up.

How many babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Must be more than 9 cause my basement is still dark.

While undressing a woman, she told me she has AIDS. I told her she can't catch it twice, but she still kept screaming.

I wondered if becoming a furry could help me escape my crippling depression...

Unfortunately, the veterinarian insisted that he still wasn't going to euthanize me.

If a heterosexual man gets anonymous oral sex from another heterosexual man at a glory hole, it's called a "brojob", but if a homophobic heterosexual man gets anonymous oral sex from a gay man at a glory hole, it's still called a "brojob". Does it cycle now?

What’s the difference between people and chocolate? I can still buy dark chocolate.

I was setting a voice recognition password for my new phone, and a dog nearby barked and ran away. Now I'm still looking for that dog to unlock my phone.

Did you know the Titanic swimming pool is still full?

I have the best life coach ever, because he taught me to not care. He did it so well that he died last week, and I still don’t care.

Someone said to stop hurting myself, but I'm still trying to cut my arms off.

Is it still stand-up comedy if the comedian doesn't have legs?

I was watching my son play at the park, and a lady asked me, "Which one is yours?" And for fun, I said, "I don't know, I'm still choosing."

I was driving and accidentally hit a crippled kid. They were still breathing, so I told them to walk it off.