Still jokes
What's still together after all the sh*t they've been through? Your butt cheeks.
Your arms are open. They stretch towards me, Reaching, grabbing, pulling me, Surrounding me, Drowning me in my helplessness. Time standing still, inside here. Looking through windows, time passing by. Let me go, will ya?
Stephen Hawking's least favorite song is "I'm Still Standing."
I still to this day remember my grandpa's last words.
"I'M ALLERGIC TO FUCKING CATS!"
How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? More than 40 because my basement is still dark.
My wife is so fat. After sex, I rolled over twice. I was still on top of the bitch!
I only remember my father's last words before he died. He said, "Are you still holding the ladder?"
What's the difference between a hippie chick and a can of Spam?
After 6 months in the woods, you'll still eat the can of Spam.
I walked up to a cat and started to sing a song. The cat said, "HECK NO!" then ran off. I follow it while still singing "BABY COME HOME TO ME!!"
A Chelsea fan called Timo Werner on his phone to encourage him during his bad form. Timo Werner still missed all the calls.
Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing!
Q: How do you know if an Asian broke into your house?
A: All your homework and the Rubik's cube you spent a year on and still can’t solve is solved. 🤓🤓🤓🤓
Samuel liked Batman when he was a kid.
He still is a kid.
What's the difference between John Wayne and Jack Daniels?
Jack Daniels is still killing Indians.
So many things are going through my head.
How am I not dead yet?
Jo mama is so fat that I could write 3 paragraphs, and she still wouldn't fit!
I am a God. Na, na, na, na, na, na. Yeah.
She's got makeup by the mirror in her bedroom, Thigh-high fishnets and some black boots, Nose pierced with the cigarette perfume, Half dead, but she still looks so cute. She is a monster in disguise, And she knows all the words to the trap songs, Takes pic's with a cherry-red lipstick, Says she only dates guys with a big..., mmm
All these bows and arrows and I'd still give more of Jeremy Renner's work a shot.
How many Tottenham players does it take to win a trophy? It doesn't matter how hard they try, they still can't win one anyway.
I bought my son an Xbox in 2017. It’s now 2018, and I’m still waiting for him to open it.