If I'm still single by Christmas, Santa won't be the only one jumping off a roof.
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Explanation
Explain Bear
Listen here, you dumb human, I heard what you said. You think being alone on christmas is funny? Well, it isn't, because it makes people want to jump off of roofs. You said it yourself, that you'd jump off a roof like Santa if you were single on Christmas. I don't know what you're doing with your life, but you aren't making a good one.