Chocolate Jokes

Anonymous
in Depression

If you were a food what would you be?

Friend 1-Pizza cause I’m so cheesy

Friend 2-Chocolate chip cookie cause I have lots of friends

Me-donut cause I’m so empty inside

Anonymous
in Depression

Life is like a box of chocolates, mostly dissapointing

2
Josiah

I heard a joke about chocolate bars and it wasn’t that funny. So I just snickered…

Anonymous
in Animal

What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate? – A candy baa.

2
Anonymous123
in Puns

Three kids one day found a magical slide. There was a sign next to it saying, “what ever you wish for comes true once you slide down”. One kid stepped up and slid down, he wished for a river of chocolate, thus he swam in a chocolate river. The second kid slid down and wished for a mountain of money, he then landed in a pile of money. The third kid went down and said, “Weeeeeeee”!

6

Why is a gun like a box of chocolates? If you pull one out in class, everyone wants to be your friend.

Non of ur business
in Sun

What is the suns favorite chocolate bar? A Milky Way 😱

5
JB

Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn’t last as long for fat people.

Lol
in Planet

What is an alien’s favourite chocolate? A mars bar

Anonymous
in Magic

Did you hear about the magician who did magic with chocolate? I heard he had loads of Twix up his sleeve.

Anonymous
in Little Johnny

Little Johnny walks out to the garage, and sees Dad smoking a cigarette… He asks, “Hey Dad, can I have a puff of that cigarette??” Dad asks, “Well Johnny, can your dick reach your ass??” Little Johnny scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment… He then replies, “Well, No Dad, my dick can’t reach my ass”… His Dad says, “There’s your answer, Johnny…” Little Johnny goes back in the house…

About an hour later Little Johnny comes back out to the garage, and sees his Dad drinking a beer… He asks, “Hey Dad, can I have some of that beer??” Dad asks, “Well Johnny, can your dick reach your ass??” Little Johnny scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment… He then replies, “Well, No Dad, my dick can’t reach my ass”… His Dad says, “There’s your answer, Johnny…” Little Johnny goes back in the house…

About an hour later Little Johnny comes back out to the garage with a BIG plate of Tollhouse Chocolate Chip cookies, fresh from the oven… His Dad says, “WOW Johnny, those sure look like some good cookies… You think I can have some??” Little Johnny asks his Dad, “Well Dad, can your dick reach your ass??” His Dad scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment… He then replies, “Well, Yes Johnny, I do believe my dick can reach my ass”… Little Johnny says, “Well Dad, you can go FUKC yourself, cuz Mom made these cookies for me!!!”…

Youre welcome

What’s the difference between people and chocolate? I can still buy dark chocolate

8
Anonymous
in Depression

Life is like a box of chocolate, it doesn’t last long if you’re fat

Bro are you a ompaloompa? Because you look like you just came from the chocolate factory.

wEiRdO :P

What are chocolates preferred gender pronouns? Her-She

Anonymous
in Bar

If Bruno Mars was to run a pub and sell chocolate bars other than alcoholic drinks then he’ll have to call his pub a Mars Bar

Anonymous

Yo momma so stupid she eats cardboard boxes thinking it’s chocolate bars.

Stephen Maltona

My “choco” is too “late” for lunch.

None of your business.
in Cereal

What do you get when a dog that is actually a Weeto is caught in an earthquake?

Just like a chocolate milkshake, only crunchy!

Morbid Joke's Brother

The Mother and her Daughter went to the store. After they arrived, the Daughter looked around and ran off somewhere. The Mother realized this and took off looking for her, after awhile, she found her tugging on a black man, the Mother asked “What are you doing” and the Daughter replied “I wan’t the chocolate”

3