Chocolate jokes
If you were a food, what would you be?
Friend 1: "Pizza, cause I'm so cheesy."
Friend 2: "Chocolate chip cookie, cause I have lots of friends."
Me: "Donut, cause I'm so empty inside."
If Bruno Mars was to run a pub and sell chocolate bars other than alcoholic drinks, then he'd have to call his pub a Mars Bar!
My chocolate babe is calling my name, and now I'm about to get my chocolate freak on.
Yo momma is so stupid, she eats cardboard boxes thinking they're chocolate bars.
What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A candy baa.
You know why the teacher punished Dairy Milk?
Answer: Because he was choco_'late' to school.
Why are they called s’mores?
Because you always want another one!
What is the sun's favorite chocolate bar?
A Milky Way 😱
I heard a joke about chocolate bars, and it wasn't that funny. So I just snickered.
Why is a gun like a box of chocolates?
If you pull one out in class, everyone wants to be your friend.
Did you hear about the magician who did magic with chocolate?
I heard he had loads of Twix up his sleeve.
Roses are red, chocolate is brown,
I expect nothing and still get let down!
Three kids one day found a magical slide. There was a sign next to it saying, “Whatever you wish for comes true once you slide down.” One kid stepped up and slid down. He wished for a river of chocolate, thus he swam in a chocolate river.
The second kid slid down and wished for a mountain of money. He then landed in a pile of money. The third kid went down and said, “Weeeeeeee!”
What are chocolate's preferred gender pronouns?
Her-she.
I went to the bathroom and into a stall to see a hole in the wall. It reminded me of "The Lickable Wallpaper" from "Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory." I jokingly started licking. Though, the carrot tasted musky and kinda wrinkly.
My "choco" is too "late" for lunch.
This morning I woke up, then took a bath with some chocolate mud. At first, when I turned the damn flossers on, I noticed it wasn't water. It was all chocolate mud, and now my body is all chocolatey.
Life is like a box of chocolates, mostly disappointing.
I like my women like I like my chocolate.
Edible.
This morning, I was in the kitchen, and I saw a whole bunch of leftover brownies made from scratch. I just tasted one and spit it out because somebody put some goddamn weed in them, what the fuck!