Sex is like pizza.
When it’s hot, it’s great.
When it’s cold, it’s still pretty good.
Still Jokes
Haters are hating. I'm still alluring, but I couldn't give a fuck cus this site is dying and boring.
What is the difference between runners and my car?
My car is still running.
Why do vegans like to make their food look and taste like meat?
Same reason lesbians use strap-ons. They still like putting meat in their hole, but they don’t like where real meat comes from.
My crush rejected me 2 years ago, and I still have never moved on. I'll be over her when a train is over me.
Look, Bono is a great guy, but shopping with him is a pain, because he still hasn't found what he is looking for.
You should never leave a man hanging.
Unless they are still alive.
My dad and I have been playing hide and seek.
It's been 15 years and I still haven't found him.
I started a band called 1023 megabytes. We still haven't gotten a gig.
If two vegetarians get into a fight, is it still called a beef?
What does a clock do when he's still hungry?
He goes back "four" seconds!
If there is a guy in a wheelchair and he is a bully, say, "I’m still standing."
I still don't know what's the worst, most dangerous place to take your children on holiday, but, for certain, it's either Vatican City or Neverland Ranch.
It's sad when the person that gave you memories becomes a memory.
You know one of the worst feelings ever to exist?
When your parents and friends all still see the happy little kid you used to be...
...but in reality, that kid has been long gone for years. (not my words)
Me: I saw your parents yesterday.
Orphan girl: Where?
Me: The coffin was still open.
Teacher: What comes after C?
Me: Ooh! Ooh! C4!
Teacher: Umm, ok... but still what comes after A?
Me: AK47!!!
Teacher thought: Oh hell na.
Teacher: What comes after X?
Me: Xplosin.
1 second later, bomb goes off. Idk.
What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas?
I don't know, he still hasn't opened it yet.
What can jump the highest?
Emo kids, some are still in the air.
I went home to my girlfriend with milk! She said, "Oh thank you honey!"
Then I got a call from a girl named Melissa. She called and said, "Steven, where the hell have you been? It's been two weeks and you still haven't come back yet?"
What's the similarity between an emotional and a leaf?
The emo is still hanging.
