Stand-up comedy

Stand-Up Comedy Jokes

People

Why can't disabled people make jokes?

Well, it's called Stand-Up comedy, isn't it?

  • 1
  • Dark Humor

    If you are going to make fun of someone, make fun of orphans. What are they going to do, tell their parents?

    Double whammy.

    Dark humor is like a kid with cancer, it never gets old.

    Comedian

    So, I was at a stand up comedy show in Russia where the comedian was making fun of Putin. The jokes weren’t that good, but I loved the execution.

    Orangutan

    Jimmy does stand up comedy. He says, "What do you call an orangutan?"

    Jake replies, "YOU!" Then everyone, including the teacher, laughs. Jimmy cries.

    LOL

    Punchline

    A man walks into a bar, and there is a line of people waiting to punch him.

    Yeah, that was the punchline.

    Snail

    Once I was asked to perform snail jokes at a stand-up comedy night. I certainly snailed it because the crowd thought it was shellerious.

    Comedy

    What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that does comedy?

    Sit down comedy.

    Russia

    I was in Russia at a stand-up comedy performance about someone making fun of Putin, but the jokes were awful. The execution was nice, though.

    Friend

    Friend: If you don't like my bad jokes, I will tell some stand up comedy.

    Me: But you are not standing:)

    Difference

    What's the difference between Chaplin and a politician in a wheelchair?

    Chaplin does stand-up comedy, and the politician does sit-down... comedy.