Stand-up comedy jokes
Why can't disabled people make jokes?
Well, it's called Stand-Up comedy, isn't it?
What is the one thing cripples can't do? ... Stand-up comedy.
If you are going to make fun of someone, make fun of orphans. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
Double whammy.
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer, it never gets old.
So, I was at a stand up comedy show in Russia where the comedian was making fun of Putin. The jokes weren’t that good, but I loved the execution.
Is it still stand-up comedy if the comedian doesn't have legs?
What is the worst comedy for disabled people?
Stand-up comedy!
Jimmy does stand up comedy. He says, "What do you call an orangutan?"
Jake replies, "YOU!" Then everyone, including the teacher, laughs. Jimmy cries.
LOL
A man walks into a bar, and there is a line of people waiting to punch him.
Yeah, that was the punchline.
Once I was asked to perform snail jokes at a stand-up comedy night. I certainly snailed it because the crowd thought it was shellerious.
How can a guy do stand up comedy in a wheelchair?
What type of comedy can't Steven Hawking do?
Stand-up comedy.
I’m in a wheelchair and I can do stand-up comedy, oh wait...
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that does comedy?
Sit down comedy.
What if Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady, but couldn't stand up?
Why don't paralyzed people laugh?
They hate stand-up comedy.
Vince Li doesn't eat comedians. He says they taste funny.
I love Steven Hawking's stand-up comedy!
I love Steven Hawking’s stand-up comedy!
Once I was in South Korea doing stand up comedy... and I started with a "hidden" joke and I said: "I'm so happy to be here in one of the most beautiful Korea's in the world..." which is a good joke but they didn't get it, and they looked at me badly... so I said "I'm here in the South which is more beautiful... South good, North booooooo." But still nothing, they kept glaring at me... then I realized that maybe I was in the wrong Korea.
I was in Russia at a stand-up comedy performance about someone making fun of Putin, but the jokes were awful. The execution was nice, though.