Christmas jokes
Why did the silly boy take the Christmas tree to a barber?
Because his mother said it needed to be trimmed.
What did the kid with no arms get for Christmas?
A pair of gloves!
Nah, I’m not that mean, he’s still trying to open his presents.
I was trying to poison Santa, but he killed my dad and ate all the cookies! 😤
Q: Why do Dasher and Dancer love coffee?
A: Because they're Santa's Starbucks!
Can [I] ask your sister how you are going for Christmas? And [to clarify,] I have internet.
I’m going to be busy having dinner soon. I have internet for Christmas 🎄 and I have some Christmas.
What did the pretty young pre-pubescent 14 year old boy say when he got a homosexual pedophile for Christmas?
He said he was awfully touched!
Why is Santa's sack so big?
He only comes once a year.
What is it you can give at Christmas and still keep? Herpes.
Family are together playing charades.
Me: "50 Shades of Grey!" Yes, I'm so good at charades! Put your shirt back on, Nan!
No one:
Taeil: "Happy Christmas~"
Haechan: "It's Merry Christmas."
Christmas. Living proof arseholes exist.
What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common? - Their balls are just for decoration.
Little Johnny got a train set for Christmas. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says, "Alright, you motherfuckers get off here, and you motherfuckers get off here." His mom comes rushing in and says, "Little Johnny, we don’t use that kind of language, go to your room and think about what you did!"
After a few hours, she lets him out of his room. He goes back to play with his train set. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says, "Okay, you guys get off here, and you guys get off here. And if you have any complaints about the two hour delay, take it up with the bitch in the kitchen."
I'm so excited for Christmas Pudding... Pudding these nuts in your mouth.
What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common? They both like fairies sitting on them.
Guess what I got from my uncle this Christmas? Herpes.
You know why Santa's saying is "Ho Ho Ho?"
How else is he supposed to give boys and girls a baby brother or sister for Christmas?
Why can’t orphans celebrate Christmas?
Because they have no family.
What did Santa say when he got to the club? Ho, ho, ho!