You wanna know what i want for Christmas? My dad to come back with the milk he said he was gonna get.

What did the kid with no arms get for Christmas? A pair of gloves! Nah, I’m not that mean, he’s still trying to open his presents.

Snow everywhere, it’s Christmas time. A person looks at the tree. The person: Only last thing left to hang! He grabs a noose.

I wanna be a Christmas decoration cause they always do be hanging

Why is Santa’s sack so big?

He only comes once a year

what movie does an orphan want for Christmas, spiderman homecoming ;)

What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common? - Their balls are just for decoration.

What’s a depressed kids favorite holiday… Christmas because everything is hanging

Why do the japanese hate Christmas???

Becasue the last time a Fat Man came down the chimney, they lost half their population

why did sally fall off the swing? because she had no arms ~ knock knock who’s there? not sally ~ what first went through sally’s head when the nazis came? a bullet ~ where did sally go when the bomb exploded? everywhere ~ what did sally get for christmas? a bike

I was trying to poison santa, but he killed my dad and ate all the cookies! 😤

When Santa Asks You what you want for Christmas then says ho ho ho say yes Please.

Why did little sally fall of the swings? Because she had no arms What did sally get for Christmas? Gloves! Only joking…she still hasn’t opened the box

Children are like a box of Christmas decorations. I keep ‘em in my basement until it’s time to hang ‘em from a tree.

Kid starts shooting people in school, teacher asks “why are you doing that”. He responds, “I wanted to paint the walls red for Christmas”

why dont Chinese kids celebrate Christmas?

Bc They make the toys

What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common - They both like fairies sitting on them.

What did the deaf, blind, mute, and paralyzed baby get for Christmas?

AIDS.

Little Johnny got a train set for Christmas. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says” alright, you motherfuckers get off here, and you motherfuckers get off here” his mom comes rushing in and says” little Johnny, we don’t use that kind of language, go to your room and think about what you did!” After a few hours, she lets him out of his room. He goes back to play with his train set. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says,” ok, you guys get off here, and you guys get off here. And if you have any complaints about the two hour delay, take it up with the bitch in be kitchen”

Yo mama so stupid, I told her Christmas was right around the corner – and she looked.