Christmas Jokes

Cerberus
in Child

What did the kid with no arms get for Christmas? A pair of gloves! Nah, I’m not that mean, he’s still trying to open his presents.

Pickle Rick

You wanna know what i want for Christmas? My dad to come back with the milk he said he was gonna get.

1
Anonymous

I wanna be a Christmas decoration cause they always do be hanging

Anonymous
in Depression

Snow everywhere, it’s Christmas time. A person looks at the tree. The person: Only last thing left to hang! He grabs a noose.

4
Anonymous

Why is Santa’s sack so big?

He only comes once a year

ur mama, oh wait...
in Orphan

what movie does an orphan want for Christmas, spiderman homecoming ;)

Anonymous

What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common? - Their balls are just for decoration.

8
Anonymous
in Depression

What’s a depressed kids favorite holiday… Christmas because everything is hanging

0
Wolf
in Basement

Children are like a box of Christmas decorations. I keep ‘em in my basement until it’s time to hang ‘em from a tree.

Anonymous
in Depression

if an emo doesn’t get better by Christmas Santas reindeer won’t be the only thing jumping off roofs this year

Anonymous

Why do the japanese hate Christmas???

Becasue the last time a Fat Man came down the chimney, they lost half their population

;)
in Sally

why did sally fall off the swing? because she had no arms ~ knock knock who’s there? not sally ~ what first went through sally’s head when the nazis came? a bullet ~ where did sally go when the bomb exploded? everywhere ~ what did sally get for christmas? a bike

2
Anonymous

When Santa Asks You what you want for Christmas then says ho ho ho say yes Please.

A very bad joke

I was trying to poison santa, but he killed my dad and ate all the cookies! 😤

Matt
in Anti-jokes

Why did little sally fall of the swings? Because she had no arms What did sally get for Christmas? Gloves! Only joking…she still hasn’t opened the box

Ching chong i f...ed your mom

why dont Chinese kids celebrate Christmas?

Bc They make the toys

4
Anonymous

Kid starts shooting people in school, teacher asks “why are you doing that”. He responds, “I wanted to paint the walls red for Christmas”

0
krazy

What did the deaf, blind, mute, and paralyzed baby get for Christmas?

AIDS.

Anonymous
in Depression

What’s the similarity between a Christmas ornament and a person?

They both hang…

Anonymous

Yo mama so stupid, I told her Christmas was right around the corner – and she looked.

0