Snow everywhere, it’s Christmas time. A person looks at the tree. The person: Only last thing left to hang! He grabs a noose.

Why did little sally fall of the swings? Because she had no arms What did sally get for Christmas? Gloves! Only joking…she still hasn’t opened the box

You wanna know what i want for Christmas? My dad to come back with the milk he said he was gonna get.

What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common? - Their balls are just for decoration.

why did sally fall off the swing? because she had no arms ~ knock knock who’s there? not sally ~ what first went through sally’s head when the nazis came? a bullet ~ where did sally go when the bomb exploded? everywhere ~ what did sally get for christmas? a bike

What did the deaf, blind, mute, and paralyzed baby get for Christmas?


Yo mama so stupid, I told her Christmas was right around the corner – and she looked.

Why is Santa’s sack so big?

He only comes once a year

What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves… just kidding he hasn’t opened it yet

Guess what I got from my uncle this Christmas. -herpes

Why did Billy not like the soccer ball he got for Christmas?..

He has no legs…

I love telling stories as theatrical plays. When we had a free dress day near Christmas my teacher dressed up as a reindeer, so I got my teacher involved…and shot her.

I was trying to poison santa, but he killed my dad and ate all the cookies! 😤

Kid starts shooting people in school, teacher asks “why are you doing that”. He responds, “I wanted to paint the walls red for Christmas”

What did the kid with no arms get for Christmas? A pair of gloves! Nah, I’m not that mean, he’s still trying to open his presents.

When Santa Asks You what you want for Christmas then says ho ho ho say yes Please.

What did the orphan get for Christmas? Lego figures from his friend but they ran way too.

I bought my son a fridge for Christmas. – I can’t wait to see his face light up when he opens it.

What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common - They both like fairies sitting on them.

What movie do atheists watch for Christmas?

Coincidence on 34th Street