You wanna know what i want for Christmas? My dad to come back with the milk he said he was gonna get.

Snow everywhere, it’s Christmas time. A person looks at the tree. The person: Only last thing left to hang! He grabs a noose.

What did the kid with no arms get for Christmas? A pair of gloves! Nah, I’m not that mean, he’s still trying to open his presents.

Why did little sally fall of the swings? Because she had no arms What did sally get for Christmas? Gloves! Only joking…she still hasn’t opened the box

What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common? - Their balls are just for decoration.

why did sally fall off the swing? because she had no arms ~ knock knock who’s there? not sally ~ what first went through sally’s head when the nazis came? a bullet ~ where did sally go when the bomb exploded? everywhere ~ what did sally get for christmas? a bike

Why is Santa’s sack so big?

He only comes once a year

When Santa Asks You what you want for Christmas then says ho ho ho say yes Please.

I was trying to poison santa, but he killed my dad and ate all the cookies! 😤

Why do the japanese hate Christmas???

Becasue the last time a Fat Man came down the chimney, they lost half their population

I wanna be a Christmas decoration cause they always do be hanging

Why did Billy not like the soccer ball he got for Christmas?..

He has no legs…

What did the orphan get for Christmas? Lego figures from his friend but they ran way too.

What did the deaf, blind, mute, and paralyzed baby get for Christmas?


What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves… just kidding he hasn’t opened it yet

I told my mother i wanted a brother for Christmas The next day i saw her in the strip club across the street

Yo mama so stupid, I told her Christmas was right around the corner – and she looked.

I love telling stories as theatrical plays. When we had a free dress day near Christmas my teacher dressed up as a reindeer, so I got my teacher involved…and shot her.

What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common - They both like fairies sitting on them.

What movie do atheists watch for Christmas?

Coincidence on 34th Street