Short jokes
What is the coolest bath bomb for emos?
A toaster.
roses are red, unlike the rest, I'm the one who has your IP address.
What's the difference between an emo kid and a leaf? Only the leaf reaches the ground.
I have the brains of an old man and the heart of a child. If you don't believe me, I can pop my trunk.
Man 1: Why don’t we just put all the debt in the world on one man, then kill him?
Man 2: We tried that once. It started a cult.
A normal kid brings an MP3 to school.
A rich kid brings an MP4 to school.
A quiet kid brings an MP5.
If Jesus was real, they wouldn’t call it the crucifixion. They would call it crucifact.
Kid: What is the biggest mistake you made in your life?
Parents: Go look above the bathroom sink.
Kid goes and looks, but then he realizes.
Any game: "Are you a boy or a girl?"
Non-binary people: *cries*
Q: What comes before 47?
A: AK
What do you say before you jump off a building?
Parkour!
Define abnormal life.
Waking up every day living a sane life!
Why did the hooker quit her job?
She had a nut allergy.
Why can orphans never be kidnapped?
No one can tell them that "your parents said that they would be delayed and I was told to pick you up."
I’m not into watching sunsets, but I’d love to see you go down.
What do depressed people use for emotions online?
They use EMOjis.
With numerous reports of Donald Trump's odor and Kelly Clarkson's lack of hygienic habits... proof that money doesn't buy cleanliness.
What do you call two female lovers spying on the government?
Lesbionage.
What do you call a bus full of transgender men? T-Mobile.
I watched a documentary about a man who grew up in the Catholic church.
It was a touching story.