Short jokes
What do you call two guys fighting over a slut?
Tug of whore.
As the car crashed, someone said, "I see a light!"
10 dicks up your mom's ass!
What is an orphan's favorite movie? Home Alone.
You know how to draw a horse? If not, look in a mirror and draw what you see.
I did just see a blind person trying to f*ck a dog.
My reverse psychologist told me I didn't have it in me to make a recovery.
Me: MOM, I'm tired.
Mom: Take a nap.
Me: No, I can't sleep if Dad isn't here.
Mom: *hangs picture of dad on her room wall* Well, now you can.
What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? “If we don’t get some support, people will think we’re nuts.”
Why does Aaron chug beer on a Wednesday?
Because his dad beats him every single day because he has scoliosis.
Why did the orphan girl cry during sex?
Because her boyfriend said "Who's your daddy?"
BAJAHAHAHHAA
Why was the booty so good at math?
It knew all the ANGLES.
What time eeeeeee?
What does a pizza man and a gynecologist have in common?
They can both scrape the cheese out of the box for a nice snack.
I keep hearing "Obesity kills."
My only question is "Why is it taking so long?"
Think like a proton--stay positive!
There's nothing I like more than seeing a politician in a nice suit.
An orange jumpsuit that is :)
Crazy? I was crazy once, they put me in a room with rubber rats. Rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once...
What happens to teeth when they go in water?
Bro, I dunno, they get wet?
What's the difference between me and a depressed kid? At least I'm out of the grave.