Short jokes
roses are red, unlike the rest, I'm the one who has your IP address.
What's the difference between an emo kid and a leaf? Only the leaf reaches the ground.
What did Michael Jackson say to the child sitting on him?
“Just beat it! Just beat it!”
My girlfriend said onions were the only foods that make you cry.
Until I threw a watermelon in her face.
I groomed 2 minors today.
If Jesus was real, they wouldn’t call it the crucifixion. They would call it crucifact.
"I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying."
- Charlie Chaplin
What do you say before you jump off a building?
Parkour!
Kid: What is the biggest mistake you made in your life?
Parents: Go look above the bathroom sink.
Kid goes and looks, but then he realizes.
My friend asked me why I know how to tie a noose.
I told them, "because I’m such a noose-ance."
Define abnormal life.
Waking up every day living a sane life!
Man 1: Why don’t we just put all the debt in the world on one man, then kill him?
Man 2: We tried that once. It started a cult.
A normal kid brings an MP3 to school.
A rich kid brings an MP4 to school.
A quiet kid brings an MP5.
What is the coolest bath bomb for emos?
A toaster.
I have the brains of an old man and the heart of a child. If you don't believe me, I can pop my trunk.
When I get suicidal, everyone worries. I don't know why because that is when I'm the happiest, thinking about death.
Why can orphans never be kidnapped?
No one can tell them that "your parents said that they would be delayed and I was told to pick you up."
Any game: "Are you a boy or a girl?"
Non-binary people: *cries*
Q: What comes before 47?
A: AK
Why did the hooker quit her job?
She had a nut allergy.