Short jokes
Why is the thief so good at basketball? Because he can shoot, steal, and run.
So there was this kid being bullied by four other kids. I decided to step in.
He didn’t stand a chance against the five of us.
My midget landlord told me to pack my things up and that I've got 30 minutes to get out. That's short notice!
Imagine if this got over 69 likes! Wow! 🤩 🇫🇷
Why are white teenagers the best for the army? They are good at shooting things up.
I like my lovers like I like my whiskey, 12 years old and mixed up with coke.
My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
Why can't Stephen Hawking be a Rocket League car? Because he can't jump for an aerial.
Titanic - "Yo, look at that sexy babe of an iceberg, let's hit her!"
Better call NASA and tell them there are only going to be 7 planets after I destroy URANUS.
Why don't midgets use tampons?
Answer: They are always tripping over the string.
I asked my date to meet me at the gym today. She didn't show up. That's when I knew we weren't gonna work out.
All rape can be prevented. It's just a matter of semantics.
Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft, and I’ll show you A-flat minor.
What do you call a Trump Supporter?
A piece of $hit!
I know a woman who owns a taser. -- She's stunning!
Horror movies don't scare me. 5 missed calls from my mum scares me.
Yo mama so ugly when her parents had a gender reveal party the balloon came out green.
While undressing a woman, she told me she has AIDS. I told her she can't catch it twice, but she still kept screaming.
What’s the difference between emos and Hitler?
Hitler didn’t post on social media when he wanted to kill himself.