My friend asked, "What's that on your arm?" I replied, "Oh, this? I didn't have enough storage on my phone to download Fruit Ninja so I had to improvise a little bit."
Ever heard of the show "Naked and Afraid"? That's what I call hide-and-seek with my uncle.
A man gets kicked out of police camp after writing "Who's that Pokémon?" next to all of the chalk outlines.
Why are orphans so bad at dodgeball? Because no one misses them.
Why do orphans play GTA? So they can be wanted.
I screamed "Jenga" today in class while watching a 9/11 documentary.
A young boy enters a barber shop, and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream parlor.
"Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"
The boy licked his cone and replied:
"Because the day I take the dollar the game is over!"
Why can't the USA and England play chess?
USA has no towers and England has no queen.
When you name yourself Twin Towers and Terrorist in Kahoot:
"Twin Towers" is on fire🔥
"Terrorist" is on a streak of 2.
The twin towers were basically Angry Birds but in real life.
Marriage is like a deck of cards.
In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond.
By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade.
playing irl fruit ninja on my arm.
Today in math class we had to do an activity where we had to flip coins. The teacher said that we had to flip some coins, remove all of the heads, count them, and put the rest of the coins back in the cup and repeat until we had no coins left. I’m not sure what we were supposed to get out of that activity, but I got 15 dead bodies.
What’s New York’s favorite game?
2001 flight simulator.
5 out of 6 scientists say Russian Roulette is safe.
Friend: Hey, wanna play hide and seek? Me: Sure, I've got a great spot! Me: *grabs knife and runs to my closet*
Friend #1: "Yo guys, what's the most unfair game you've ever played? For me it's Fortnite."
Friend #2: "I'd have to say Monopoly."
Me: "The most unfair game you say? Life, definitely. Like, no one wins, it's a one-way game."
Friend #2: "Uhh...that's not exactly what he meant..."
Friend #1: *calls the suicide hotline*
What's a suicidal person's favorite game?
Hangman.
My boyfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. What a stupid thing to Fallout 4.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
